At this age, it is normal to face such problems, but it is possible that I have not judged my capabilities well and encountered difficulties. The problem is that I can't handle my life and put it in order. It was as if the problems were vomiting and chaos ensued in my head. I can't judge what my priority is. I have a small child that I want to raise with a lot of love and my number one priority is wasting most of my time around him. My number two priority is to be a good housewife and to take care of the comfort of home and my family. It's just that if I don't, everything will look like a jungle. My priority number 3 is to agree with the man, I take care of the child completely so that he can rest and have free time. Priority 4 is to work from home on my old business with an online store. My number one priority is to study for state exams. My priority 6 is to look for a home in my free time. My priority is 7 to learn a language. My priority is to have a hobby. And when I get sick or the child is sick, my priority is health. The problem is that I don't have any free time, that I can't organize any schedule and follow it, it's like I'm an incompetent person and I look like that even in front of my husband. I look like a frivolous person since I can't prepare for a month for a state exam, and that's kind of impossible as everything distracts me, I can't concentrate on anything.
I do most things on autopilot and my brain is blocked. I have no idea how to find peace and think about the situation soberly. that I fail to organize any schedule and follow it, as if I am an incompetent person and so I look even in front of my husband. I look like a frivolous person if I can't prepare for a month for a state exam, and that's kind of impossible as everything distracts me, I can't concentrate on anything. I do most things on autopilot and my brain is blocked. I have no idea how to find peace and think about the situation soberly. that I fail to organize any schedule and follow it, as if I am an incompetent person and so I look even in front of my husband. I look like a frivolous person since I can't prepare for a month for a state exam, and that's kind of impossible as everything distracts me, I can't concentrate on anything. I do most things on autopilot and my brain is blocked. I have no idea how to find peace and think about the situation soberly.
Answers 12
What is this nonsense of you to take full care so that the man can rest. It is loaded with 1000 tasks, and the man will only go to work. It is a big mistake to leave it like this - a man can clean, cook, look after a child. And you are studying.
What age is it about? And how big is the child? Priority number 3 is strange to me!
Your number one priority should be to teach your husband to be a father and to take care of the child.
I fully understand you, I am a single parent abroad and I study at university and I work separately with that. What I study requires great concentration and silence, which I can't do with a 3-year-old child. Tell you what, I started getting up at 4-5 in the morning and writing my coursework then, as well as giving you advice .... but you will be infinitely exhausted. Can't you ask your husband for some help? Ours and he is the father of the child, from where to where do you take all the care?
Your husband is an idiot. Make him and her look after the child or call your parents to you until you pass the state exam.
And your priority is for your husband to agree with you and look after his child, where is he?
How can it not be chaos !? You have reached the list of 8 priorities, and the obligations are at least twice as many. One thing you need to know for sure, peace of mind is health. If you are not calm, you will not feel well, nor will you be able to provide everything you need and your child will be well. Things need to be graded. Personally, calmness and confidence are the two things that make a strong person and good at organizing and performing various activities. Every child needs a calm and confident mother. I will tell you as a woman to a woman, the first priority is the child, the second priority is security. There may be no other priorities. For these two priorities to be right, you need to be educated. We are women, not that thing, but some men leave their families and I have seen it countless many times. As soon as I finished high school I said to myself, that I will do everything in my power to make sure that even if I am a single mother, I will be able to provide food and warmth. To do that, I had to deal with my fears and become more confident. Because the child and security come first. Nothing bad will happen if there are several plates in the sink, no one will die if the food will be lentils and not a three-course menu. You are human and you have 24 hours, you try to balance between 100 things and you can't handle anyone completely. It's normal to be so because you're overloaded. As long as you overload yourself, you will never be calm, you will never find time to think things over and find a solution. You need education. It will make you more confident in your own abilities and will provide bread on the table for your child. Degree this way first - the child, then the exam, then everything else. When the child sleeps or plays, you will read about the exam. I remember that I was about 4-5 years old and my mother read topics from her syllabus instead of stories. I didn't mind, her voice was calm and I fell asleep. When you get tired of this, you get up and put something on the stove, wash the dishes, run a vacuum cleaner and a washing machine. A total of an hour or two and you're done with these things, don't give them more time than necessary. Your husband can and should pay attention to your child. I'm sorry, but he did it and has the same responsibility as you. I would overcome my husband's lack of housework, but I would never put up with my husband neglecting my child and judging me. Housework is done for everyone at home, you don't do it just for yourself, you do it for all of you. Housework is not created by you alone. As you eat, so do the rest, as you throw away dirty clothes, so do others, as you stain, so do they stain. The difference is that you took this responsibility instead of your husband and instead of sharing it. And what comes out? Your husband is dirty, but not clean, and as a cover he accuses you that you can't handle all this other things that are on your head. Your husband has made a child, but you have to look after him alone so that he can rest and have time alone. And what does he do? Does it work? Well, you are a housewife, a mother, you work from home and study. Guess who needs more rest! Stand in front of him and tell him that you are overwhelmed and want 1 day of silence. To take 3-4 days off, to stay at home with the child and the vacuum cleaner for a day, in which you will go out with the textbook, you will sit in a park and you will have time to study and think. You are a team, you don't have to do absolutely everything. You have chosen to do it and there is nothing wrong with it, but once you feel that you are starting to smoke, it is time for your husband to intervene for a very short time to relax and recharge. As you drive it you will get sick in the end, peace is health, it is essential. For years you have provided peace of mind to your husband, let him provide it to you now for a while.
Feminism in action - women with cats explain to a normal woman with a family what to do ... to be left without it ... I don't know how the author imagines it as a small child and calm ... Concentrate on the main things, and don't demand so much of yourself. In addition, we do not live in the memory, use any technique that can help you, talk to other young mothers (not cats). There is a bgmama site, there you will find more normal women who will guide you.
You can't do it because it's for two.
So how do you want to handle everything? !! You look after a child, clean, cook, work, even from home, study ... excuse me, where is your husband in the picture? Or can he not once clean or cancel you in the care of the child? Hey, that's why Bulgarian women don't respect us. We volunteer for everything and in the end "but you are not supported"! So when? As mothers, housewives, workers, cleaners, cooks, wives ... and the man? And he is a parent only by documents! Tighten it to help you! Are the child and the apartment not only yours? And he lives there and he is a parent. You have to take your share of responsibility!
And so I was, the result of a spoiled child, a spoiled man and a nervous woman.
Hello author :) Your story and all such things make me think very seriously about what exactly is wrong with me ... How men like yours have everything I want and are such jerks .. I just do not understand .. Really this is not normal in my opinion. I think he should help and not because he has to but because he wants to .. Everything else is bullshit .. My advice is to get along with him because I think the problem is there .. Success I'm a man in his mid-20s ..