Hello! My story is a story about how I didn't learn to be strong, how I let myself be nobody, and how I got to know that I needed a psychologist. I desperately want to share and have someone tell me what to do, because so far I've always thought I knew what was right, but I always do the opposite. I start specifically: I met my husband six years ago. He had other connections before me, but for me he was the first. Maybe this is where the problem begins. He is my first love and from the very beginning I did everything that pleased him, because I was afraid of losing him. From him I received the same - respect, love. He's never touched or cheated on me (I'm sure, funny as it sounds), but he's been used to being right since he was little, and if it doesn't go the way he wants, we already have a problem. I contributed to this with my behavior from the very beginning. When we have a problem, I want to sit down and discuss it, and he shuts up and pretends I'm gone. When I decide to push myself and go somewhere he doesn't want to, we leave, but he's sullen all the time. One day a friend of his decided to talk to him, telling him to change so that he wouldn't lose me, and then my husband ended his relationship with him. He can easily end ours as well ... Now we have a child who is shy outside and only relaxes at home - I pampered him. We're not going to sea because we're still peeing in our diapers. Honestly, I haven't thought about another relationship so far, but the icing on the cake was when I started playing an online game and the child and I didn't seem to be there. We are a given for him. Instead of my husband resting to go somewhere as a family, he sits at the computer all day. We don't have time to talk. We become alienated. I think of other men. I want to save my marriage. I know that everything I wrote is very confused, but that's how I feel at the moment. Still, I'm asking for help because I'm tired of crying every other day.
Answers 29
"I'm thinking of other men. I want to save my marriage." So feminine that I don't know where. First decide what you want and then ask for advice on how to achieve it.
Hard work! He is already gone ... you will save your marriage, you will keep it as a social unit - if you want it ... But if the connection between you is lost, marriage is just a shell that will tire you over the years. Now the child urinates in the diaper, but it grows and when he turns 19 and pulls one you will be left alone and ... what? You have to save something else ... something else, not your marriage! The family relationship is gone or completely thin, he took care of it. What is marriage? What? Just sit down and think ...
I really sympathize with such a man, I would not tolerate him for a month
You are not the first or the last to feel this way. But think and write what you want to achieve and then ask for advice. Computer games are like a drug, it's hard to refuse someone who is used to playing. And with other things you can only deal with the good ahead. If you still love him, there's a chance he can handle it.
Haha you compete with an electronic game. Give this man a chance to set his priorities in life, if he fails to sort out the important things in life, maybe it's good to leave him to feel it. Sometimes people only appreciate something when they lose it. But what is yours, just ask him who wants the man or the child to be in this house.
As far as I understand, you want to leave him and think of other men because he started playing games? Hmmm, I'd be a jerk to a woman who breaks my stands for that! Get down on the ground and let him have some fun, for himself. bile
This is what the connections resp. marriages with minors! Save yourself and the child. It's too late for marriage - it's like doing artificial respiration dead ... Your husband neither loves you nor respects you. You're comfortable with him and ... that's it. Beat him until it's too late that youth is not eternal ... Boronia
Don't despair, but for me it's the same with the "small" difference that my marriage is 22 years old and I have two children. Things will not change as you describe it. He obviously wants to impose himself, he is very ambitious, he wants to control your life, he doesn't pay enough attention to you and only six years have passed. And when more passes? If you have a way out / for example you can support yourself with the child / think while you are young and the child is only one. Otherwise you will be either unhappy or in a parallel relationship. I guess you understand me. I went this way, but it was too late for me to realize that I had no choice.
Number 6, I'm sorry, but this is complete nonsense of yours. Safe from "men" like you. You can't start a family, have a wife and a child with you and turn your back on them because of play. The woman has the right to seek advice.
The decision you will make is made only after weighing the pros and cons. The child will draw you to him, he is his father after all. I say, after all, because fatherhood is not just a book. There is no woman who has not been in your situation at a certain moment, just the reason is different for everyone - friends, hobbies, games, other mania - men are trying to escape. Ask him out well if he is no longer absorbed in the connection. Ask him out well if he is no longer absorbed in the connection. Let him know that you are serious. I know that when there are problems of this nature, it is not good to confuse other people. But this only applies to inappropriate people. A parent or a person who respects him would put him back on track, I know from experience. But this is only if it makes sense to save the marriage, if everything is gone forever, then we just reconcile and say the hard word - end.
№10 What kind of person to respect him and the girl writes "Once a friend of his decided to talk to him by telling him to change so he wouldn't lose me and then my husband ended his relationship with him." Read before you write.
I was helped by Dale Carnegie's book, How to Make Friends and Influence Others. I dealt with the problem with you: you don't tell your husband things right, this book will help you learn to use your power to persuade.
Hello! I wonder why people like to blame? It's very easy to put labels, it's hard to help. That is why being a psychologist is not easy. Some have learned some lessons in their lives, others have learned others! And some make fun of others! What is wrong with meeting a man who will attract you to be your great love, to have a child and marriage! Then come the problems with each family, as well as in yours. Something happens to the man, he stops paying attention and starts to close himself with some childish world. Why? Try to understand the reason, observe it, understand what is wrong, what irritates it, what bores it, what it lacks? Put yourself in his place, see how he is on the other side. If he doesn't want to sit down and talk hell, try another way, try gestures. Make some change that he's sure to notice, not to make him jealous, but something that will help. Make him squeal. You are his wife and you should know him better than anyone here. It is very bad when a woman begins to be taken for granted, this lot often happens when you realize that something is safe and yours. Show him that he can lose it, but not rudely, but thinly and tenderly. everyone needs to be understood, everyone has the right to happiness and must fight for it. Turn to yourself, ask yourself what you need, give it to yourself. Change your way of life, create comfort inside yourself and when you are aware and in complete harmony, whatever is going to happen will not escape you, but it may be for the better! Give yourself a chance, fight for what you have created, do not powder it! Success! Axis You are his wife and you should know him better than anyone here. It is very bad when a woman begins to be taken for granted, this lot often happens when you realize that something is safe and yours. Show him that he can lose it, but not rudely, but thinly and tenderly. everyone needs to be understood, everyone has the right to happiness and must fight for it. Turn to yourself, ask yourself what you need, give it to yourself. Change your way of life, create comfort inside yourself and when you are aware and in complete harmony, whatever is going to happen will not escape you, but it may be for the better! Give yourself a chance, fight for what you have created, do not powder it! Success! Axis You are his wife and you should know him better than anyone here. It is very bad when a woman begins to be taken for granted, this lot often happens when you realize that something is safe and yours. Show him that he can lose it, but not rudely, but thinly and tenderly. everyone needs to be understood, everyone has the right to happiness and must fight for it. Turn to yourself, ask yourself what you need, give it to yourself. Change your way of life, create comfort inside yourself and when you are aware and in complete harmony, whatever is going to happen will not escape you, but it may be for the better! Give yourself a chance, fight for what you have created, do not powder it! Success! Axis Show him that he can lose it, but not rudely, but thinly and tenderly. everyone needs to be understood, everyone has the right to happiness and must fight for it. Turn to yourself, ask yourself what you need, give it to yourself. Change your way of life, create comfort inside yourself and when you are aware and in complete harmony, whatever is going to happen will not escape you, but it may be for the better! Give yourself a chance, fight for what you have created, do not powder it! Success! Axis Show him that he can lose it, but not rudely, but thinly and tenderly. everyone needs to be understood, everyone has the right to happiness and must fight for it. Turn to yourself, ask yourself what you need, give it to yourself. Change your way of life, create comfort inside yourself and when you are aware and in complete harmony, whatever is going to happen will not escape you, but it may be for the better! Give yourself a chance, fight for what you have created, do not powder it! Success! Axis but it may be for good! Give yourself a chance, fight for what you have created, do not powder it! Success! Axis but it may be for good! Give yourself a chance, fight for what you have created, do not powder it! Success! Axis
I think it's better to play than to go to pubs. You better find a hobby instead of thinking nonsense. There are such problems in every marriage. Read some of the stories on the site. Men are pigs, yours is fine again, at least in what you describe
And I agree with number 14-in every marriage there are problems. For me, they started recently - because the children have grown up and do not live with us. f. - study in other cities. they used to fill my whole day and I wasn't lonely at all. Now my husband takes me for granted and doesn't pay much attention to me - he just looks to work and go to the villa when he's free. And then I'm at work - that's how we get along. And I want to spend more time together - and at every opportunity I go to the villa with him. Try to keep him with the child and focus his attention on the child and his needs. If he is a father on the spot - he will not ignore you - at least the child brings you closer. When you think about relationships with other men - you're actually looking for more attention - what you don't get at home. But if you have a relationship with another man - yes, he will give you attention and tenderness - but this will only do so to get you into bed. Men rarely fall in love where they see no prospect in a relationship.
as long as there are tips like the one at number 15, there will be more and more stories for lovers. "Try to keep him with the child and focus on the child and his needs" what advice is this? His father is a father, but he does not live for his children, as many women do. Has he married his child? Keeping a husband with a child is a pretty funny hope. Why don't you advise a woman to pay more attention to her husband, for example to sit down and play a game with him - maybe this will wake him up, or take the initiative in bed, to teach his picky child not to pee in diapers, to stop pampering him and be at least a little more wife and lover and less mommy? And 15 - go less often to the villa with your husband, leave the man alone to see his mistress, it is a pity that you can not give birth to more children, to bring you closer - such is life - no matter how good it is, sometimes the children fly away. What then? Hollow and empty marital relations, roommate cohabitation and public marriage remain. It's good that there are villas, fishing, hunting and all sorts of similar activities that men allegedly undertook while meeting their mistress!
Eh, 16, well done, he said it on the spot !!! I think like you! Greetings!
"Men rarely fall in love when they don't see a perspective in a relationship ..." = the biggest nonsense! I did not know that this "falling in love" is determined by perspective :)))
Number 16 - why, when I say villa, do you imagine that my husband has a mistress. If you judge by yourself, you probably have a mistress. My husband is just in love with his job. Don't stand guard over me. There are also men who want to achieve something with their own efforts. That's why I want to be with him. Unlike our younger years - when children have filled your daily life. And our relationship has never been empty and hollow. Yes - a man changes - and over time he wants more attention from his partner. And can't a woman have a lover? we are an emancipated society. Another question is whether he wants it. He doesn't want it - because it leads to more tension in the life of a family. And not everyone can cheat with a clear conscience. And that the woman should be interested in him is really true. She can make them spend more time together,
Number 18, if the man you like and sleep with falls in love with you, knowing that you will never leave your husband, he will tell you if he is in love. No-he keeps from falling in love. There were such topics before - read the old materials and then comment. Men do not fall in love where they see it as hopeless. I say it from experience.
Okay, you just think he's playing games online. Haven't you thought about how he feels and that he says something all week and needs a little peace of mind and instead of lying at home he took you on vacation to be on variety, and he to sit for a while for a treat. an hour or two and knock on the computer
Number 20, if you say it from experience, then you are a man? Is that correct? Because if you are not, and I think so, do not speak on behalf of men
Number 22 I'm a woman. I can say that men know how not to fall in love - especially with married women. And we stupid ducks fall in love. But no more - there will be no falling in love so that no one is hurt.
I can live together but only in front of people. if that suits you. and for comments, keeping a man with the child is not preferable. it's dumb and you're not a wrist now. take care of yourself and your child, if he doesn't get rid of you, dump him. life is too short to comply with people's opinion. you can always meet a decent person, what if you have a child. public opinion tax I do not pay and mine did not speak to him I left him and looked after my child. I met the right person and we always talk and discuss things. just with age and needs and our perception of the partner changes to 20 I don't think like 30 or 40. and mine stopped contacts with friends who were trying to influence him they are my friends now. do things in your life so that you and your child feel good. I wish you success
Dear girl! There are men who want to impose themselves at any cost! Of course, this is incredibly irritating, and my several years of experience have made me realize that if I want to endure his endless reading without problems, it is better to have fun alone in another room, to relax from the workday calmly, without waiting for someone's favor. and then he thinks I'm breathing down his neck, sulking and screaming! It's so nice and calm and I spare my nerves! I hope this works for you too!
In principle, it is not impossible to change! Everyone has periods, problems, etc. Ask him in a friendly way what the problem is, and will he feel better if you weren't there! If you can't understand each other, leave it! There is no such thing as "saving a marriage"! The child will always have a father, there is no one to take him from him, but you may not have a husband!
For those who say that these are typically female reasoning, let's not start with the typically male "pearls" - such as that organ making you male!
Should a marriage that is doomed be saved?
I don't think your marriage is doomed, in that case everyone would be like that, it's just that your husband is like that or you accept him or you get divorced ... you want vacations, attention, roses, romance, he must have given it to you in the beginning, and now he just wants to make his pass easier for the man in his everyday life, that's ... Do you think that our mothers were better, just now no one tolerates anything, women want everything more, and men want peace and understanding, that's it. If he's a good father, he provides for you and doesn't cheat on you, what else do you want an eternal party for?