Hello, I am 21 years old, I am a student. My problem is that I haven't had a boyfriend for 5 years, and I've never had a serious relationship, that is, there have been some guys I've dated, but for a short time, I'm very extreme, I don't compromise and I easily end relationships. At the moment I feel very lonely and as if at a dead end. I watch everyone with boyfriends, and I'm always alone. I don't want this to go on anymore. Otherwise I am beautiful, attractive, smart, I have fans, but I still find some disadvantages that do not allow me to try something with them. I've been around for so long that I'm used to it and I don't know what it would be like with a boyfriend. Would you start something with someone you like, and you're not particularly attracted to them, just to try and give someone a chance, who does everything for you? I have already started to fall in love very hard and I like someone hard. I would be happy if there are other people in the same situation to share opinions. Thank you!
Answers 11
Become a feminist.
There's no point in dating someone you don't like enough or worse, you don't like, but you seem like a good person. You will only waste your time, and his too. In time you will meet someone who you will really like, you will fall in love and then what will you do? Will you cheat on your friend? Will you leave him? Don't complicate your life. Believe that when you meet a man you really like, you will forgive him all the flaws and disadvantages, not only that, but you will tell yourself that it is in these disadvantages that his charm lies. I wouldn't start a relationship with someone who doesn't attract me enough. It won't be fair to him or me. You are still very young. Enjoy your freedom. And don't forget that a relationship requires a lot of compromise. You will have to make sacrifices and forgive. There are no perfect people.
Yes, you will stay.
You all describe yourself as beautiful and attractive - but you are alone. Self-confidence, the energy you carry - is the weapon. With this reasoning you will always be alone, author.
I'm 20, a girl again, and almost the same story. I find it very difficult to like someone in the long run, all my relationships are short-lived and I end them all the time. Some of these guys have been very much in love and haven't stopped looking for me for years, but there's no point in wasting each other's time. The difference for me is that I have had some love affairs that have lasted for years, but have always either not returned to me, or something seems to have mysteriously stood between us, given that we both had feelings. I have learned to make compromises over time, but for me and my environment is such that I can not find a suitable one, because I am more special - I hate simplicity and here we are not talking about discos and chalga music, but chalga mentality - malice against people, gossip, interests are different to me and especially myself as a person. And I have friends, I go out all the time - to a restaurant / cafe, on a walk, I sometimes go to discos or techno parties, rock bars, it depends on the company, although I prefer concerts and rock bars. I support myself, I do sports, I make up well, I stick to my clothes, my style is a bit crazy, but it's not ragged or I look like a man. I thought a lot and came to the conclusion that everything is in the middle. I give you two recommendations - learn to compromise in the first place. Everyone has flaws, including us. The second - think EXACTLY what you want, exactly what kind of person you are looking for. The second is very important. Do you really want a serious relationship, are you ready for it, because there is no way to compromise on both sides without compromise. I'm not talking about compromising not to bathe or to be simple, or to cheat on you and such, but respect for the interests of the other party, opinion, etc. Without compromise, no relationship becomes friendly, nor anything more. If you find that you are looking for a relationship in which there is only attraction, it is different, but such relationships pass quickly and are very unstable, because over time passion and attraction pass and other factors come - respect, understanding, which if not - the relationship ends. immediately or start various pots of grapes such as infidelity and such.
At least 80% of modern women have self-confidence and demands on the sky, and no coverage. As long as choosing a boyfriend is like being in the cucumber market, so be it. You ruin most of your life with this way of thinking. "The mind always comes to mind. But usually slowly and painfully."
The ideal option is for me to evaluate your candidates live and choose the right one for you. But this is unlikely to happen, so make a list of the qualities you want to have the right one for you, and write them here. You will also receive stupid advice from inexperienced people or people who have not learned a lesson from their own mistakes, but you will also receive good ones.
And should I list your disadvantages? You can't find an ideal man (in this case). It's the same with women. That's why people try to match a person. In your mind you look at a stranger and begin to think; short hair, big nose, black eyes, etc. Things like you have identified as disadvantages in a person. And why don't you look at the person as a whole? Why is this analysis for you? Are you perfect? Is your hair brittle? Or that on your left breast, the areola is bigger and darker than your right? You're crushing my girl! There are more important things to look for to be happy and loved. Forget about these cons and you will find much more pleasant sensations.
You are obviously one of the mercantile girls who do not give a chance to the boys! Give your luck a chance not to remain an old maid! And what are you looking for in a person, you do not mention anything! Everyone has their flaws! If you don't like one, take another until you find the right one! You know - "trial and error"! You will always get lucky! The bird lands on the shoulder only once! Male at 35
From the author I want the man to be charming, to like me, because if he doesn't attract me, I don't know how I will be with someone I don't like. In appearance not to be short and too weak, to be literate, can make mistakes only within the limits of what is permissible, but not to be simple, the other thing is, I prefer to be educated, but if it is not I can swallow it, if we fit. It is.
Soul, you claim that 5 years ago you had a relationship last time .. then how old were you, at 16;) ... and how did you feel in this relationship, what positive qualities did this person, probably older than you, have? Dad .... you want this, you want that, in a "man ... 1st this is not a catalog, 2nd, if you make an impression you try it ... if it doesn't work, you're still 21, what do you think so much ... with such free time you can do a lot of things on yourself ... read books, travel, train, you seem to me with insufficient self-confidence, and very critical of "men" so, relax a little ... poems your breath and things will happen