I will hardly be a good father. In a few years I will turn 30, I have a wife by my side, I want to have children, but when I think about it, I don't know if I will raise them properly. I give an example of a recent incident. My girlfriend and I live abroad. We are renting in a big house with 3 families (so to speak). One "couple" is a single mother and her teenage daughter. We have known each other for a long time and we talk freely. I come home late, look once again at my little girl praising the phone in one hand, and the laptop on the table. She eats at the same time, looks at her phone, and with her other eye the laptop. He's constantly watching some dumb videos or some Korean stuff out there. Her mother and I share a lot, and I know that her daughter is a couple. Once again I come home from work and look at the same picture of her. At one point when I started spraying my mind ... I'm quoting some things ...
-Hey girl, what do you think, life is not just some Tik-Tocs, you have to learn not to wash kenefs like your mother . Yes, she washes kenefi while you watch some dumb songs. I think you want to be a rag like her and have a sore back all day. See what low grades you have, you are useless, and you have not read a book. If you don't tighten up, nothing will happen to you, see what you look like. Life sucks, people suck. Nobody fucks for your Koreans, you have to be smart not to wash kenefi like your mother, do you understand me .... The girl just cried and went back to her room. My friend was there and it became a scandal how I could talk to the girl like that, so she wasn't even my daughter. I don't know anymore, am I wrong, are people wrong ... At one point I felt sick, because I saw my father in me. While he was alive, he constantly teased me about such things. He was rude to me. It showed me the brutal reality. I often took slaps. He was a rude, cool, and self-disciplined man. Such things as feelings and liberalism did not apply to him. But in the end I studied, I was a good student and I am currently in a good position abroad. I have money set aside and I would say that I am doing well. I have been in misery, I have been to good places, and I have achieved everything on my own, with hard work and discipline. I talked to other people about the case. Most people think that I behaved quite rudely, that I hurt the girl's feelings. Things did not happen with shouts and brutalism. But on the other hand, I see the girl get on her mother's head. It is extremely spoiled, even quite naive. Think
Answers 25
What do you care is dude, you said what you thought so much.
You did the right thing, brother, he deserves it. The people who will tell you the opposite are the type of parents whose children get on their heads and raise leagues.
Brother, no matter how much you show off, if you live in a house with a bunch of other people, you have hardly achieved anything more than the woman you call a "rag" just because she makes a living by washing toilets. By the way, Bai Ganya is Bai Ganya wherever he goes. You live abroad, and so far you have not understood that there is no such thing as a shameful job! Now a little on the topic: this girl is NOT YOUR DAUGHTER! Understand - you have no right to tell her anything and to call her in any way. Don't make evasive idealistic excuses for losing your temper after coming back blown away by your rotten job.
No, man. Even if you are right, you are not right. Not to mention that you insulted her and her mother - this is mental harassment. Being so well-meaning, give her a nice book, sit down and talk to her, not yell at her and call her mother a rag. I'm sorry, yours is not goodwill, it even looks like bad.
Let everyone look in their pockets and not brainwash before they ask for something like that.
You did the right thing but you did it too rudely. You should not interfere with the child's mother, etc. I do not think that children should be petted with a feather. As described, the child deserved the words, softer it was better to say it simply.
If he had turned in a completely different way so as to motivate her and make it easier to scold her, I would have said that it was right. But the things you said are too much.
It happens to everyone to lose their temper, the important thing is to realize their mistake. You will probably get opposing opinions as to whether you were right or not. You were the ultimate in "brutal reality." Because nothing is just black or just white. For example, I was made to study, I studied instead of having fun, our people told me about the "brutal reality", I was always financially with less than the others, I was an excellent student, I graduated from Sofia University - and I work for a while over the minimum wage. And many of my peers who didn't study are now very well off financially. And no, they're not connected. At least for my cousins, I'm sure. Hours in front of a phone / computer can be detrimental to health otherwise (eyes, sedentary life), but many children simply have no other alternative for spending time. Parents both complain that they are constantly on electrical devices,
In the conditions of Democracy it is so, author! And I was told, "This bread won't give you! Sit down and study!" When I was at home watching TV, my father reacted just like that! I was not like the others, to go anywhere with them, I had no friendly groups at school, TV and video were more interesting to me! After school I went straight home, I was always in a hurry to sit in front of the TV! And I was still in elementary school! And our class then mentioned that we have to be especially careful, because some people already smoke marijuana! I didn't know what it was, and I didn't care! I just lived in a world of my own! But I still became a man! And during Socialism no one left you alone! Even people like the mother of this student were sent to work in the enterprises! No "I don't want"! There were policemen and they checked everyone, who walks the streets, sits in a restaurant, travels by public transport - if his passport does not have a stamp on his place of work, he was immediately brought to work! There is such a case on the Internet! You can justify yourself: "But I, comrade policeman, I only have 7th grade, where will they hire me?", And he will tell you: "Don't worry about it, young man! There is work for everyone - look around around - roads are being built, railways are being built, blocks of flats are being built, factories - you will always work somewhere! You can't help but work! Every citizen of our socialist homeland must contribute to its well-being by working! "Nobody looks at you no education, no nothing-work was for everyone! And today, whatever you have a university degree, you still have to knock on all the doors to get a job! My mother used to tell me that she liked "that system"! And he's right! Even if you have a high school diploma, after graduating from high school, after the prom, you go to work! It's just that the government was doing its job then! And today people are exhausted because they can't find a job! Well, I don't like today's Democracy! They ruined almost all enterprises, and we had a very well-developed industry, as well as well-developed agriculture! That's why there was work for everyone! The oligarchs came and ruined our economy! And that's why we import goods from abroad! And in order to become a person, you have to make an ox effort to break into life, otherwise you have no chance, while at one time you just had to comply with the Power and your life was settled! This is from me! Well, I don't like today's Democracy! They ruined almost all enterprises, and we had a very well-developed industry, as well as well-developed agriculture! That's why there was work for everyone! The oligarchs came and ruined our economy! And that's why we import goods from abroad! And in order to become a person, you have to make an ox effort to break into life, otherwise you have no chance, while at one time you just had to comply with the Power and your life was settled! This is from me! Well, I don't like today's Democracy! They ruined almost all enterprises, and we had a very well-developed industry, as well as well-developed agriculture! That's why there was work for everyone! The oligarchs came and ruined our economy! And that's why we import goods from abroad! And in order to become a person, you have to make an ox effort to break into life, otherwise you have no chance, while at one time you just had to comply with the Power and your life was settled! This is from me! while at one time you just had to comply with the Authority and your life was settled! This is from me! while at one time you just had to comply with the Authority and your life was settled! This is from me!
I am of the opinion that children should be brought up strictly, but I think that the author was wrong everywhere. First, by no means can I accept that it is right to insult someone's mother, whatever she is, because children are not to blame for what their mother is like and they love her as she is. Second, no one has the right to try to raises someone's child, if the parents have not entrusted the upbringing of their child to him / kindergarten teacher, babysitter or foster parent /. No one else has the right to interfere in the upbringing of another's child, he has the right to interfere only if he witnesses an incident of a parent beating his child to stop him there. The right action in the author's situation was when his mother complained about her daughter if she could give her advice, but to allow yourself to talk to another's child in order to re-educate him is not right, even if the child is your nephew. My sister and I haven't talked in years, and I continue to be angry with her because she allowed herself to rebuke my child with her imaginary probabilities, which are only in her head. Just as the author shouted at the child that his mother was washing kenefi and that it was useless, and that he himself was such a great man when he lived in a house with kenefi washers, therefore he could only afford a rent similar to that of a janitor. it follows that he himself is not who knows what. And what will happen to the child he scolded, only life will show, nor is there a guarantee that if there are no good grades in school he will clean kenefi all his life there are many examples of great people who have had bad grades in the courtroom, nor is guarantee that if he has good grades, he will not have to clean kenefi in his life, there are such examples with university students,
They'll give you a lot of morale now, but I'll put it this way. Is it better to tell you the truth in a brutal way or is it better to deceive you in a kind way? Are you doing her good or her mother in this case? I don't know, but comparably you do her more good than her own mother. I have been pampered a lot and it is a reason to this day to be lazy, although I am aware of many mistakes. I haven't studied enough, I haven't developed enough, and it's not like I'm incompetent, I even did very well with school and everything in general. I just lay a lot on my parents, grandmothers, etc. And now I'm trying to change, but it's hard. I mean, I'm aware of it and I'm trying to change it, and this girl may not even be able to realize it in years to come. People have become very vulnerable and the truth does not tolerate them at all. And on the other hand very vicious, for I am convinced that they have put enough malice in your reproaches to tell you what a wretch you are, that you spoke so to the "poor girl." The truth is not appreciated, my friend, but you did the right thing, that's what I wanted to say, even though you expressed yourself in your own way. If you really care, and it wasn't just your anger, you can try talking to her next time and normally. She may have been aware of certain things (which sometimes have to be said in the tone in which you spoke to her). Now, even if she is "angry" with you, she will need you as a strong figure in her life. You can be her friend, make her read something, take her somewhere.
Yes, it is not your duty at all, but you can try to help this child. to tell you what a wretch you are, that you spoke to the "poor girl" like that. The truth is not appreciated, my friend, but you did the right thing, that's what I wanted to say, even though you expressed yourself in your own way. If you really care, and it wasn't just your anger, you can try talking to her next time and normally. She may have been aware of certain things (which sometimes have to be said in the tone in which you spoke to her). Now, even if she is "angry" with you, she will need you as a strong figure in her life. You can be her friend, make her read something, take her somewhere. Yes, it is not your duty at all, but you can try to help this child. to tell you what a wretch you are, that you spoke to the "poor girl" like that. The truth is not appreciated, my friend, but you did the right thing, that's what I wanted to say, even though you expressed yourself in your own way. If you really care, and it wasn't just your anger, you can try talking to her next time and normally. She may have been aware of certain things (which sometimes have to be said in the tone in which you spoke to her). Now, even if she is "angry" with you, she will need you as a strong figure in her life. You can be her friend, make her read something, take her somewhere. Yes, it is not your duty at all, but you can try to help this child. even though you have expressed yourself to her in your own way. If you really care, and it wasn't just your anger, you can try talking to her next time and normally. She may have been aware of certain things (which sometimes have to be said in the tone in which you spoke to her). Now, even if she is "angry" with you, she will need you as a strong figure in her life. You can be her friend, make her read something, take her somewhere. Yes, it is not your duty at all, but you can try to help this child. even though you have expressed yourself to her in your own way. If you really care, and it wasn't just your anger, you can try talking to her next time and normally. She may have been aware of certain things (which sometimes have to be said in the tone in which you spoke to her). Now, even if she is "angry" with you, she will need you as a strong figure in her life. You can be her friend, make her read something, take her somewhere. Yes, it is not your duty at all, but you can try to help this child. he will need you as a strong figure in his life. You can be her friend, make her read something, take her somewhere. Yes, it is not your duty at all, but you can try to help this child. he will need you as a strong figure in his life. You can be her friend, make her read something, take her somewhere. Yes, it is not your duty at all, but you can try to help this child.
Author, you were extremely rude. And not only because you scolded the child who is not yours, but also the mother did not ask you to take part in the upbringing of her daughter. You also insulted her mother directly in front of the child. No child is happy to be insulted by his parents, and in this case there was no reason. The woman and the kenefi to wash, earn their money honestly, do not steal, do not kill, do not cheat, do not lie ... It works a prestigious profession, but someone has to do it. Do not belittle the work of others, whether they wash bowls, kenefs, rooms, whether they are in the field of manual labor, production or are directors of a bank, for example. It is unlikely that by insulting her mother (the only parent who supports her) you will win the favor and respect of the child so that she can hear you. If you want to motivate her, first talk to her mother and what, how, why, etc. Then, if you can't find a common language with the child, read a book on the subject. We do not find hot water. It was discovered before us and we can learn from the experience of others. The same goes for parents. It is not a shame not to know something and to look for information and read other points of view and approaches.
I don't care how an educated, high-income person shares a house with other people? !! Calling her mother a rag is, to put it mildly, rude. I follow the rules of the site, otherwise I would write you what I honestly think.
Life was nasty, people were nasty, the brutal reality. Apparently I am one of the lucky ones who meet wonderful people on their way, have wonderful colleagues and family. Life is as you made them! As long as you dramatize. And the mother who cleans kenefi, if she had invested in herself and her education, would not share a house with people like you now, and her back would not hurt. And you, author, don't get confused where you don't care.
Now you can achieve 2 things: To scare her ... by yourself and by men like you. Believe me, teenagers do not remember "wisdom", but shouts and insults. If I yell at you that you're lost and that your mother is useless, EVEN THAT IS, I guess I'll be punching her. When you say something to someone, think about how the person will accept it. But you can also succeed! Unfortunately, not what you want. To scare her from "reality" and the girl to start chasing some impossible goals caused by sick ambitions. It is bad if he catches up with them before it is understood that there are more things in life than having a career, having power and taking selfies from an expensive German car. I know people who have been intimidated like this - they can't stand failures, even if it's not their fault at all and they are not calm, unless they don't have huge amounts in their accounts and they don't have a promotion waiting for them ... Just be careful! Yes, you will hardly care about the girl in 10 years, but still think about what and how you serve it.
Look, I know you did it with good intentions, but you went a little too far. And honestly, you're not the father of the girl in question that you care so much about her future. It's unlikely that what you said will have any positive effect, in cases like her sobriety comes only when you face life. When mom is no longer on the line to take care of you while you watch nonsense on your laptop. When it suddenly turns out that all the bills and expenses are on your head, and no one hires you because you have neither knowledge nor skills, then you begin to realize, but it is often quite late and the salvation is to catch the first work, no matter how hard and nasty. There are many such people, both men and women, but it is simply not possible by force. There is no way to make them think. So there's no point in ruining your relationship with her mother, after all, the girl in question will not be affected by your words. And one day she will suffer the consequences of her laziness, but as I said, you are not her relative, so this is not your problem. Watch one day when you have children to teach them to work and the strangers leave them, they have parents to take care of and take care of them. As long as her mother hasn't tightened her eyes, she obviously doesn't realize what a "bearish" service she is doing to her daughter with her excessive pampering and tolerance for such behavior. One day they will both regret it, but ... it's none of your business! to take care and worry about them. As long as her mother hasn't tightened her eyes, she obviously doesn't realize what a "bearish" service she is doing to her daughter with her excessive pampering and tolerance for such behavior. One day they will both regret it, but ... it's none of your business! to take care and worry about them. As long as her mother hasn't tightened her eyes, she obviously doesn't realize what a "bearish" service she is doing to her daughter with her excessive pampering and tolerance for such behavior. One day they will both regret it, but ... it's none of your business!
You quarreled correctly, but some of the arguments are inappropriate. Telling her that she has to study so that she is not like her mother and the like is infinitely uninteresting and banal for children. Telling her to study generally doesn't sound good and specific. Emphasize that she watches repetitive silly videos, and she could watch something much more interesting and useful. And the other important thing is to focus in some direction, and not to flood it with videos to fill the time. If you are going to watch movies and news in another language in order to learn it.
I wholeheartedly wish you and those who support you to have children as soon as possible and wherever your children go, it's so hard for them to quarrel with various fathers, uncles, aunts, any negative ones like you. complexes ...
I didn't mean to comment, but number 19 annoyed me! The author's children cannot be accustomed to, because with such a father they will not be the dregs of society. Author, I don't know if it's right that you said this to the girl, but I'm glad you thought it! True, your father was demanding, but that's actually nice. While growing up, one is not always motivated enough, and it is a crime not to invest in one's education while young. There is time for everything. I understand you very well, the collapse in education is ubiquitous, it is a global trend, not to comment on why, etc. If it is not for the parents to take responsibility and work with their children, including by personal example, the children sink irreversibly. And what about the daughter of a mother-hygienist? There is no shameful job, but the mother has such a level. And there must be cleaners, right. Author, I'm sure you'll be a great parent. Not exactly like your father, of course, but with great responsibility to the next generation, ie. to the future. Success!
It doesn't really matter what you said, because you're not a father either, but I congratulate you on that. That's exactly what parents should do. If you ever have a child like her, do the same.
And why don't you stop boiling your nose where you don't care ?? When you have your children, talk to them as you know, it's not your concern, girl, look after your wife and your family, just pour your mind
You didn't do the right thing! Apologize to the girl and, and explain calmly in more appropriate words, what you really want to know!
Don't interfere where you don't care. “Your mother washes kenefi? "As you are the great good morning, do not think that life can bring you there. In 5 words, your story is how your father was rude and tactless, but in spite of everything you have become a man and you have. Big deal. There are many times more people who are from normal families, who also achieve everything on their own and become successful people, keeping the HUMAN in themselves. Geeks like you (without apology) who call children and insult women for their profession are clear to me. A pathetic story. One never chooses one's family, but one chooses what one should be. It's not your father's fault for who you are, it's your own fault that you got to the bottom of pouring your anger on a child for something you DIDN'T. E. YOURS. WORK. You lack basic upbringing. For things like “when are you going to get married, when are you going to have children, what you will do, what you will study, how you will realize yourself ”, etc. It is NOT TALKED if a person does not raise the topic. People's personal life and choice for this is called PERSONAL because it is not your job and does not affect you directly. You do not know at any moment how a person feels and experiences and whether his words (even involuntarily) would not affect him badly. The fact that a teenager eats and watches on the phone is enough to unlock the aggression and complexes of your age (and to the point that it comes to "your mother washes kenefi") should tell you only one thing - you are pathetic. And no. This fact is not someone else's fault. It's yours. Only yours. Candy You do not know at any moment how a person feels and experiences and whether his words (even involuntarily) would not affect him badly. The fact that a teenager eats and watches on the phone is enough to unlock the aggression and complexes of your age (and to the point that it comes to "your mother washes kenefi") should tell you only one thing - you are pathetic. And no. This fact is not someone else's fault. It's yours. Only yours. Candy You do not know at any moment how a person feels and experiences and whether his words (even involuntarily) would not affect him badly. The fact that a teenager eats and watches on the phone is enough to unlock the aggression and complexes of your age (and to the point that it comes to "your mother washes kenefi") should tell you only one thing - you are pathetic. And no. This fact is not someone else's fault. It's yours. Only yours. Candy
It's not your job what this kid does. And as someone mentioned above ... You have hardly created anything, you know what, you live with a bunch of other people, so obviously you know everything about each other, so you give your mind ... And to insult the mother of a child not the best approach. You're just mean. If you wanted to help, you would sit down and guide him in a very friendly way ... Like a dude. But you are not.
It's not bad that you took him out, as long as you're honest with yourself and aware that the reason for your outburst and anger is that you're really unhappy with your life, and not so worried about the girl's.