For years I have been wandering, for years I have been looking for an answer that will allow me to breathe calmly. In short, I have been in a relationship for years, but the person next to me is not the right one at all. My first love is and probably that's why I stick to him like a straw drowning man. I admit, my life without him would have been much easier, and it was, in the period when we were separated ... but I failed. I came back because I felt terrible, I could do anything he didn't want to do, but ... why did I? That's what I thought then. And he, he replaced me ... with the excuse that he wanted to make me come back. It worked out for him, yes, I couldn't stand the sadness. Months after we got together I was so happy and I said to myself "I won't do it again". I turned the world upside down so that we could be together again, at the cost of our freedom and our future. I still have these thoughts in my head, as before we parted. I want to have a future, but we have different views on life. He doesn't study, he works as a salesman and that suits him, and I want to study, I want to work, I want to realize myself, I want to have a future. However, I know that if I leave him, he will roar like a wounded tiger again, he will tidy up a nice circus for the purpose of manipulation and I will come back again, because he knows that I love him very much.
I often wonder if he still loves me? When we argue and he tells me he can't stand it, I ask him what he's doing to me? But I don't get an answer. I don't know what to do. I have the feeling that he wants a maid who can only make money, not study and carry it on her back, crush her mentally, and hold her tightly in her paws. I haven't received any male attention for years and I only notice it now. Looking in the mirror I do not see myself. I just see a man with tousled hair, red eyes and dirty clothes, it's not me. I feel guilty about doing something he doesn't want to do. He has told me many times that I look like a whore with certain clothes, cosmetics, etc ... and now when I put on my make-up I feel like a whore and I feel guilty. That's right, is the guilt I feel justified at all? I don't know ... I'm very confused.
Answers 3
Another story about mental harassment, a male manipulator and a female victim already addicted to her abuser. Talk girl, talk to family and friends because you urgently need help, do you understand it to get away and make your life meaningful!
It's not your fault again. See the man often does not want you to achieve more than him. He wants to snatch more money and command. You have to clarify what you want and do it without the option to go back! Either you stay with him and start a family or you move on.
You seem to be a smart girl, but you haven't understood the most important things in life. That everyone forges his own destiny, that if you do not respect yourself, others will not respect you, that there are no irreplaceable people in this life, that in the center of your world you stand, and not someone else, that of two people, one always loves and accordingly suffers more, and the other is left to be loved, that guilt is the most destructive and murderous feeling. Your only fault is with yourself. You have a mind, but you lack character, and without it you cannot have the future you want. Apparently he dominates and manipulates you and will continue as long as you allow him. Do you feel bad and do you want to feel bad? Answer this question. If you want it to be so, then you are a masochist. Don't be fooled that you can change it once you've gotten here. This status quo suits him and he has no intention of changing it. Let him do it, but with someone else. The longer you linger, the harder it will be to push yourself out of its gravity.
Especially if he makes you a child. If a relationship does not bring you happiness, end it! No matter how much it hurts, it is experienced. If you stay with him, it will still hurt. The choice is whether to stay with the past and the eternal disappointment or to develop and move forward. You decide. Invest in your future - prepare and follow. At university, you will find yourself in a different environment, with other people, and you will break away from its influence more easily. From him you can only "take" the ability to be selfish. Success! stop it! No matter how much it hurts, it is experienced. If you stay with him, it will still hurt. The choice is whether to stay with the past and the eternal disappointment or to develop and move forward. You decide. Invest in your future - prepare and follow. At university, you will find yourself in a different environment, with other people, and you will break away from its influence more easily. From him you can only "take" the ability to be selfish. Success! stop it! No matter how much it hurts, it is experienced. If you stay with him, it will still hurt. The choice is whether to stay with the past and the eternal disappointment or to develop and move forward. You decide. Invest in your future - prepare and follow. At university, you will find yourself in a different environment, with other people, and you will break away from its influence more easily. From him you can only "take" the ability to be selfish. Success!