Hello! I am 28 years old and I am in love with my friend's boyfriend. Old story. We worked together abroad for a while, and everything happened very quickly, not at first glance, over time, imperceptibly, things between me and him went in a different direction, I hid my feelings to the last, even though I knew he felt what I felt for him. , anyway. I returned to Bulgaria, and only then, at his insistence, I confessed to him how I felt about him, not even imagining that one day I might have to go back there again. Well, now I have to go back to the same place to work, and I'll see him again, with the difference that there are no more secrets, he's already a married man, that's the other thing that worries me too. I don't know at all what to think, how to deal with them, with him, I don't know how I will feel when I see him again,
Answers 15
What did he tell you after you confessed your feelings to him ...? It was a mistake to hide your love for him for so long!
God, how much sorrow there is in this world! But you women know how to do damage.
You have nothing to think about. You go to work and that's it. You behave like a man and that's it. And how do you know he's happy? Anyway, you forget it. You are just friends. It will be difficult at first, but you will get used to it. Time heals.
Women are strange creatures 3 Time pours out the pain, but the wounds leave to the end ... Well, who has crushed what, now it's itchy ... To think of the time.
I know, I'll itch and how, but I didn't want it to happen, it just happened, but the mistake is obviously that I confessed to him.
Abe, let's make an elephant out of a fly. Big deal! It is not a shame to have feelings, nor is it a shame to admit them! You didn't do anything wrong. If you think you will be harassed when you go to this job, you better not go! № 4, you seem to be the weird! What did the author think, that she fell in love? Egati nonsense!
Thanks for the comments, I guess a lot of people have encountered something like this, I don't want to turn my life into hell, especially where the work is really hard, to bother with thoughts about it, I just know it won't be tolerated, so I want to change my behavior towards him, at least not to see how much it hurts me, but I have no idea how to deal with him, he will definitely want to talk about my feelings for him again face to face, what to tell him , if I say that my feelings are still the same he doesn't know, I don't want to confuse him, now his life is on the right track, why should I confuse him, and if I lie to him, I have to keep this lie for about a year there, so I don't know how to deal with him - honestly or to lie to him again, which is better for him and me.
My opinion is that you should not ask for advice and opinions on the issue and I will tell you why: 1st you will receive different opinions and advice and this will confuse you the most instead of helping you, and if you accidentally decide to choose someone from the advice that people would give you, it may not be the right one and it will affect you and your future with this person even more negatively, and your second life is in your hands and it is best for you to decide which one it will be good for you and the situation that has arisen, you are the person who has to plan your future so as not to regret your past as much as possible, so think. Samokoveca
№ 8, yes, you're right, I made a decision, and it is to stay away from his life, I do not want to build my own happiness on someone else's unhappiness, I will not have a happy relationship this way, I will not be calm inside I know I will constantly my conscience bites, but the problem is that I don't think I'll be able to overcome it, especially when it's constantly in front of my eyes, I want to believe that in time everything will disappear by itself, but I don't know if it will happen, I just hope, I just want to look, and not only seemingly, but really overcome this feeling that makes me feel like some kind of intruder, but I don't know how to achieve it, how to become friends with him again, as it was in the beginning? Is it possible at all?
Well, to be honest, I think it's very difficult for this thing to happen, at least judging by my experience. It may be different for everyone, but in my opinion most people have not had a return to a purely friendly relationship, since there has been a more serious development of feelings. But you women tend to do such a thing, say (to remain friends) :) Samokoveca
Let's say it, but we say it because we want things to go well in our lives, in fact we don't have much choice, either friends again or lovers :), or enemies to the grave :) The first option is the most rational, or at least the least suffers.
I don't know, I have a love affair with a woman, she made me fall in love with her, the circumstances helped us to make it happen and she loves me (will) ... but for several months now things have happened that we are in different cities and it seems that this distance spoils our strong love and I feel that sooner or later we will part, and I do not know how I could accept her only as a friend after I had such feelings for her, and at the same time I do not want to I lose ... and for me it's very complicated in general.
I will ask him to talk, maybe if he convinces me that he has no feelings for me and I will stop loving him, I see no other way!
Well, it wouldn't be bad to talk about this topic, in order to finally clarify who, what ... etc., And to know for yourself what to do.
Hello again :) I find it a little strange to write here again in six months. Coincidentally, today I remembered that I posted a topic here and decided to continue my story for those who want to know how things are going with me. Well, I've already done five months abroad, I'm happy with my work and everything is going well. And the boy in question, in whom I am still madly in love, I see him every day, now we work in the same place, he did not tell me about this intention while I was in Bulgaria and honestly I got a big shock combined with a heart attack like him I saw at work for the first time :) We talked, he wanted to tell him in his face what I feel for him. I tried, but I couldn't, but I told him everything in writing :) It's still something! He was very happy, he liked that I found the courage to do it. I honestly expected him to stay away from me, but it didn't happen, on the contrary, we became even closer, in the sense that he was constantly looking for a convenient moment to flirt with me at work. I can't understand why he's doing it, I told him I want him to stay away from me so I can turn my back on everything, but he's doing the exact opposite, as if on purpose. I feel he has feelings for me, but I know he will never choose me over his wife. Everything is doomed, and he knows it, and so do I, but despite everything we are like magnets, constantly looking for our eyes, and comfortable moments to be together. I don't know how this story will end, but I'm pretty sure I'll be the one to cry in the end. It is really very strange this feeling, to love someone, your life becomes meaningful, you stop looking for meaning, you just enjoy every moment, you have a goal and a direction, but there is also pain, and that, as much as you want,