I am 19 and I have had a hard time finding good friends all my life. Before I went to kindergarten, I was shy, but from first grade onwards, it wasn't my fault. In elementary school, there was always someone to make fun of me for something. In high school, I hoped things would change, but even then I was closed in on myself. I waited for someone to talk to me first. I thought I had good friends I could always count on, but maybe I'm wrong. I always find intriguers and those who sometimes avoid me without knowing why. I asked some people and they didn't want to tell me the reason. I no longer have full confidence in anyone. It is very difficult. This even hinders my motivation for a successful and exciting life, as I planned. I may eventually leave home and live a nomadic and independent life. I didn't need anyone. I don't want online dating, I want an opinion. I will be happy if people who have gone this way answer me.
Answers 7
You are not alone. I want to tell you that it's better to be alone than to be with some geeks or intriguers. Have hope and be good and fun.
Hello! I want to tell you that I feel the same way. Nowadays, money is simply the basis of almost every value system, and it is very difficult among so many materialists to find one, even a true friend, for whom the spiritual is more important than the material. But I believe that everyone finds their place where they feel happy. So don't stop believing that you will find a real boyfriend or girlfriend. Success!
From the author: I know that there is a soulmate for every person, but it seems to worry me more that the problem may be in me, without even knowing what it is.
Author, writes you a man who experienced the same thing as a young man, my opinion changed when I read 5 times / to understand it / the book "how to make friends and influence others". The fault is in ourselves, we want people to be interested in us, without us being interested in them. Every person in this world depends on someone being interested in him. If you succeed, learn, listen and take an interest in others without bothering them with yourself, you will have the most friends who would be ready for anything for you. Our educational system is lame there, it does not teach us how to communicate. "You can make more friends in two months by genuinely taking an interest in others than in two years by trying to get them to take an interest in you." that the people you talk to are interested hundreds of times more in themselves, in their own desires and problems, than in you and your problems. For one person, his own toothache means more than a catastrophic famine in China that has killed thousands. The pimple on his neck preoccupies him with more than fifty earthquakes in Africa. "
I have been on this path for many years, the reason is in me - I am very capricious in the selection of relatives and I do not feel comfortable among strangers with whom we have no common attraction. It is not only me who likes them or only they like me, we need reciprocity, otherwise it is torture and a waste of time. We need to make a dating site more demanding like us. But there are also people who are better off alone.
To number 4: in other words, you have to be closed in on yourself, right?
Until №6 No, it's not like that! The very phrase "self-contained" means limitation, even lack of contact with people. And this is about stopping people from bothering with your pimple or problem with your girlfriend and dealing with their problem. Read the book and you will understand. It's not about being silent, but it's also a mistake to give unsolicited advice. "You can't teach a person anything. You can only help him find it inside." Galileo Don't talk much. Be careful not to be misunderstood! Intriguers and people who avoid you just already know too much information about you, about your activities, about what you think. They have their problems, you burden them with stories about yourself and your activities, so they avoid them. Just listen without interruption, listen with interest and you will see that your problems are much smaller than human ones. Imagine, whenever you want to tell something about yourself and your thoughts, it's like the people around you are confectioners in a cake shop, and you tell them about the car business! Would they like to hear your story? No, many more would like to hear a new recipe of a French confectioner for a carrot cake. But they listen to you, already thinking bad things about you, they need one or two more such stories and you are out of the next outing.