Hi my story is as follows. 8 months ago, working in a company, I met for the first time with this one of my colleagues. Of course in appearance I liked her immediately, but I had no intention of trying anything, because in general I am quite ambitious and had a lot of side commitments and I thought that a relationship at this stage could rather hinder me. . The second factor was that the age difference is quite large. Or so I thought quite naively then. In the process of work and the limited contacts I had with her, she began to like me more and more as a person with qualities that I personally appreciate very much. With each passing day, I began to realize more and more that I had met my ideal for a woman, and realizing this, unconsciously came love. Over time, I was able to figure out that she also has a boyfriend (of course), which was an additional factor that wouldn't allow me anything. Being held hostage to feelings and circumstances, I began to consciously avoid her and try to minimize my relationship with her (work). In order for the picture I am trying to paint in front of you to be complete, I will have to describe, albeit subjectively, what her attitude towards me was. I'm sure that from the very beginning she made an impression that I like her as an appearance, yet in this respect every woman has enough experience / instinct. Soon after I began to avoid her, she sensed it and also deliberately avoided me. I may have been crazy, but I had the feeling we were playing some kind of cat and mouse game.
At first I deliberately made our breaks diverge, then I noticed that she was doing the same. All sorts of hypotheses about her behavior began to spin in my head, from the fact that she didn't like me, to the fact that maybe I was wrong and she wasn't what I thought, she was just playing with me. Of course, when there was a need to communicate for work, we did it, when we talked we talked not only strictly about work, but there were also jokes, as there are in every company. After a while, she started looking for contact with me, with no real reason to do so. She usually asked me one or two questions and left, which made me think she had more positive feelings for me. Back to me. After the shocking discovery that I am in love at this very stage of my life, and for a person who is committed, my life has become a literal hell. I had to see her every day and remind her, that I am in a situation for which I have no solution. On the one hand, if I do something after I know she has a boyfriend, it will be immoral, and on the other hand, I had a lot of projects that were started but unfinished and I risked going to the movies, as I did later. After a while I decided to solve the problem permanently as just a rage quit. In fact, one day I just told the boss that I wanted to leave immediately, he told me to think and the next day to tell him if my decision was final. The next morning I confirmed and had to wait for my documents to be drawn up, promising that I would be free to leave once I received them, even though my day was working. The rumor spread and apparently reached her, because for a period of 2 hours I had the feeling that she did everything she could to talk to me and give me a chance to invite her on a date ... But I fool, I didn't do anything, of course.
After I received my documents, I just left. As soon as I left, I was struck by the cruel truth that this was the end, without even having a beginning. I got on the subway, but I had the feeling that I was suffocating, that the road between the stations was endless, so I got off and started wandering aimlessly around the Borisov garden. It was a nice autumn time, people were walking, children were playing, and I was walking like a dead man among the living without direction. Shortly afterwards, a heart appeared on the back window of my car, of which there could be only one artist. I have to admit that I was thinking of sending her the biggest possible bouquet of flowers, but I kept wondering what the point was and what it would change. Anyway, I kept telling myself, she has a boyfriend, and I already realized how stupid I had been with this rage quit. More than 6 months have passed since that autumn day, and I have not stopped thinking about her for a day or dreaming about her at night. Realizing that the real success is the shared, I dropped everything. I am no longer excited about the big things, as before, I would even say that I am indifferent to them. I exist, but I don't live and I can pay the price for thinking that I understand the important things in life. If you are still with me after this rather long post, firstly I want to thank you for your time and patience and secondly to ask you as women: Is there hope? Do you think that despite the fact that she did the right thing, and I did not, it made a negative impression on me in her. Do you think that one day, if we meet by chance or not, she will even recognize me? In conclusion, I just want to add, that I usually do not share my personal feelings with a wide range of people, even a few on forums, they were anonymous, but after 6 lost and suffered months I need at least a little hope and advice to move forward. And just to add that she also no longer works in this company. Thanks for your time!
Answers 13
The same story happened to me with small differences. I was in your place (in love) and I didn't have a boyfriend. And he, like you, began to avoid me and looked at me badly .... I also began to avoid him, because I had already sunk to my ears. After I left the place in question forever, he did not look for me, which means that apparently the Chuvash were not mutual. Your story really touched me, and I don't think the girl was indifferent to you at all, she just didn't dare look for you out of respect for her boyfriend, especially if she had a long-term relationship with him.
Rage quit ??? Aren't you 16? You do not love the colleague in question but you are obsessed with her, nothing will come out and you will still struggle, find a new job and a girlfriend. When you should have invited her to a meeting, now you can't chase her, women have their respect.
Call and call immediately !!!! He's not with you now ... you don't work in the same place ... so there's nothing worse than that. It's very stupid not to even try. In the end, if he says no ... you will know and it will pass someday. It's agony now, because of the thousands of questions in you. And just to add that having a friend is no reason for you not to tell her how you feel about her. The decision is hers. It would be immoral to be consciously in the role of a lover. Maybe you're not indifferent either, maybe he doesn't want to stay in his current relationship ... or maybe he doesn't ... you can't know if you don't try! As a woman, I can tell you that running away is definitely not a man's act and, as you know, does not solve the problem. Woman 38 years old
There may be hope. I have had similar cases, but I left before I brought them to an end and I never understood ...
Being committed means nothing. There are many women who are bored with their relationships and just drive it on inertia until they meet someone else. I think you could have been a little more friendly with her. And you even left without a word. F31
Man, I don't know what advice to tell you. You fell in love, but you didn't really have any relationship with her. You were afraid to even invite her to a coffee, what do you expect, for her to come to your neck and tell you that she loves you? The next time you fall in love - go ahead. Even if they cut you off, at least you'll know you tried /
You had to tell her about your feelings. Women love brave men. If he had told her, things would have turned out differently. Even if I didn't like you, you would have stood out in my eyes if you had confessed to me.
Call her, ask her to talk, and if she agrees and admit everything. It may be too late, it may not be, or you may be mistaken about her feelings for you. But be sure to clarify things for yourself. Better to be rejected than to think about it all your life and wonder what if ........
You've filmed something ... Get a little into reality. And one piece of advice from me: don't ask women how women get off.
The woman was looking for you, you ran away as a puberty ... No woman wants such a coward next to her ... at least if you had talked to her more, she would have shown herself whether she liked you or not. We women don't bite and we often show up when someone interests us. And when this someone runs away like a girl, it's clear what the job is ...
Find her right away and talk to her!
Are you crazy, young man? I am a woman of 45 years. I once witnessed a conversation between a friend and his son. The kid was in your situation and said to his father about a girl: "But she's busy!". The father replied, "Son, this isn't a toilet, it's busy! This is a woman, boy, act!" I couldn't say it better. I was not just "busy", but married when my current husband attacked me. He didn't leave me alone until I finally sank to my ears. As a result, we both divorced and took a deep breath. It wasn't until we finished this job that we realized how unhappy we had been in our previous relationships. We were simply reborn. The question is how to act from now on? You don't care about the lady's friend in question. If she loves him so much, she'll just ignore you. But if their relationship has run out (they also suggested this hypothesis to you above), they will respond immediately. Just don't really act like a teenager, go and find the girl! PP We are waiting for a report on the development of the drama! I bet things will work out! Leaving work was madness, by the way.
From the Author: Hello, thank you for your support and advice. Further development of the saga. I actually met her about 5 days ago at 1 stop, I recognized her and she didn't do anything to me, but at least I realized that she remembers me, which is good. The problem is that she lives in the summer in a villa and I have no idea the exact address. But thanks to most of the positive feedback from you and the last situation at the bus stop, I think I will act. For this purpose, I have released a little intelligence to determine the exact address, I think to send her a poem and her favorite flowers enough information to find out who I am without becoming too cheeky. I'm not sure if that's enough or not, but here we are gathered to conspire anyway, and I'm a team player, I comply with the opinion of the team. Share if this topic is no longer in existence. Until №11 We live in quite confused and uncertain times. Blowing fins is a well-known story from personal observations, to pretend to be more than you are, because you are not strong enough to be what you want to be, but you live in a fictional and false world in which your charm evaporates after 5 days and it is just as necessary for the other party to begin to feel that "I think something is serving me" is NOT a sign of courage. Everyone can lie, and people lie most often when they are afraid. Being afraid to look the truth about yourself in the eye is not courage. Check and see for yourself that BG leads in the number of "cohabitations", and for this there is a reason to be sure and they are not only economic as you will probably think. If I'm writing this at all and I'm in the movie I'm in, it's not because I'm scared, but because I value the person I am writing about, precisely as a person above all else. But still thank you for all the feedback. I will write about the development of things, if they are in a positive direction. If I'm not going to be in Borisova, again ...