Hello, I never thought before that I would have to share my problems somewhere anonymously, but here that one never knows what life will bring him! So I start with my story, making sure it is more concise so as not to bore you with unnecessary details. For almost a year and a half I have been working in a restaurant, which is quite popular for the city where I live (Smolyan). When I started working here, I noticed that the other colleagues are quite close to each other and generally constantly make jokes and jokes with each other. In the beginning it was difficult for me to fit into the situation because in principle I am not a very sociable person, I am not so relaxed in front of new people, I always try to pay attention to how I behave, what I say to make a good impression. So over time, I got used to my colleagues and they got used to me, we got to know each other and I can say that I relaxed in front of them. Ever since I started working there, on my first day at work, I had an indecent offer from a boy who works as a driver-supplier of soft drinks to a company that loads our goods. The obscene suggestion was that he asked me directly if I wanted to be pushed into the truck. Of course I refused, no one has been so direct in my 20 years of life and I was definitely outraged. He kept coming every day and every time he made some hints to me, for example one time he came while I was helping the woman who was cleaning to wash the windows and he suggested that he was looking for someone to wash his in his apartment as well. The turning point in the story, however, came one night when he came as a guest of the restaurant and I had to serve him, everything was going well, until finally, while we were settling the bill, he didn't ask me if I wanted to go with him to the tavern "Bulgarian" in our city and that this was not a meeting but just to drink something and relax from the working atmosphere. I thought about it, but I wondered why we didn't go. We had a good time and as a result we had a tradition every week to go with company from work.
Over time, we began to become close, I had purely friendly intentions towards him, but he clearly showed his sympathy for me, bought me roses, took me from us, then sent me away, he really behaved extremely well. He invited me to a few meetings, and I decided it was right to give him a chance, because you never know where something unexpected might come from. In time, I began to realize that I was not indifferent to this man either, and he had managed to melt the ice walls, which surrounded my heart and so began our relationship. Almost immediately we started living together in his apartment while his brother was abroad, and when he came home we moved to mine. We have been together for a year and three months, and the problem is that he is already starting to talk to me about marriage and children, how he imagines the two of us with three children playing around us. Yes, I would like a family one day, but I'm still young, I don't feel ready for this step. And he presses me. Even the last two times we had sex, he purposely ended up in me hoping I would get pregnant. He knows I'm not ready, but he says that the moment the "miracle" called pregnancy happens, I will love the idea of the little man. However, I did not tell him that I started taking contraceptives because I was afraid of his reaction. I tell you again, I don't mind being a mother and having a husband, but after 4/5 years, when I'm 25/6, I don't know why he's so fast, even though he's not elderly, we have a two-year difference. So my request is for advice, how to act in this confused situation and what will be the best solution? Thanks in advance!
Answers 6
Drop it. Nothing good awaits you with a person who does not comply with your opinion. Marriage is not a joke, it is not like living with someone for a few months. You tell him No, and he says: but I want to. With this type of life, your life will not be flowers and roses. A woman with 23 years of marriage ..
It's unbelievable how many naive and stupid girls there are, honestly.
Men who don't want as many children as you want. And when you get 35/6 years old and you're still unwilling, you'll wonder if you can order a child. It is easier to look after children at a young age. I will greatly envy your current husband.
Well, how do you feel! I have a girlfriend whose friend got her pregnant in the third month of their acquaintance, she didn't know. She gave birth to 20, he is 5 years older than her. She wasn't ready. But he did, he also talked about a memorable engagement and wedding, even though they didn't have much money. And she was worried, but now she doesn't regret it at all, they want 2 more to have a little angel after that, one after the other. In my opinion, 25-26 years is also the best age. But now I am 22 years old in a nearly 3-year relationship, my friend is 23 years old and we have been trying for 4 months. Rather, we have 'gone with the flow'. We talked last night and he said he didn't feel completely ready. His biological clock has called, and I just want it to be from my man, and the thought of it is wonderful. I think you need to talk with understanding, to tell each other everything!
Darling, run, that's all I'll tell you! I'm not saying that all men are the same, but my ex-boyfriend, just like you, we spent 1 and a half ... and we're not much older than you, he also talked about how he wanted marriage, children and I don't know what, but with that difference, that I wanted too. So the "man" in question was trying and on the 2nd month of them, the hop "miracle" happened! He saw the test positive and in less than 1 week he was already talking about abortion !!! I was shocked! It ruined my nerves despite the doctors' recommendations to protect myself physically and mentally. Every day pressure, harassment, nerves to get rid of him, because he suddenly realized that he was not ready. And one day, just out of the tension, she became what she was and I had a miscarriage. I was physically healthy according to the doctors, but from all this tension this is how it happens ... The gentleman grabbed his hammer and I never saw him again! So my advice is to take your pills, to talk very, very seriously with him and not with 2-3 stories and if he doesn't understand a word to go and get pregnant with someone else when he becomes such a father !!
It's disgusting, it's disgusting with the contraceptives behind your friend's back. What your friend wants from you is the most natural and legal thing on earth. There is nothing better and more sacred than a man wanting children from the woman he loves. And you, I predict you, will shed bloody tears for this insensitivity and cruelty of yours. But there will be no one and anything to comfort you. It was early for her ... But it is most useful for the fetus to be from a young mother, and not from an in vitro grandmother, or some other fabrication. Egoists rob themselves, remember that. Burn your mind, because tomorrow will be late.