The ex ... how which one? !! That great love is in question. For the one who comes once in your life and changes everything to the core. It's been years ... to be more precise, about 5 since we broke up. We were together for almost 2 years. I can't describe to you what I went through with this girl, but there were things I will remember for the rest of my life and in my last breath I will think of her and whisper with all my might ... I love her! That we are divided - it is clear. It is clear that other people have passed with me and her. Last night I dreamed of her once again. All these years I dream of her for some period of time. Just to mention her name, to hear it, or to think of something to do with it and that's it. I know she will visit my dream again next week. I dreamed all kinds of things, all kinds of situations with her. Since we reunite, in our various moments together in the past, to new and strange newly created stories. The last one was how we were arguing about the fact that I wrote to a girl I met for 3 years. after we broke up with her. I have the feeling that my dreams show parallel universes in which she is still mine, that we are still together. Or maybe the dreams show us moments like: It could have been if nothing else had happened. The butterfly effect, you remember. It's been a long time. I keep dreaming about her, thinking about her, and I shouldn't.
It's not good, because I have a serious girl next to me with whom we will soon live together. I shouldn't, because I'm hurting myself and the girl next to me. Love is something very strong and big, when you experience it in shock doses and if you overdose ... you become like me, my dear reader. You gave your life for a relationship, a series of how brave, so many stupid decisions in the name of love. The only thing that really makes sense. The bad comes when you don't read that "overdose side effects" page that says pretty serious stuff. I have the feeling that I will never be able to overcome it. That I will never forget her and that even if I get up at the age of 80 ... she will always be in my thoughts and in my heart. If I had 100 other lives after this one, I would look for her to the last, even if I couldn't be with her, I would travel light years just to be able to see her for a moment. This is not poetry, this is not a poem, this is not a novel ... this is my love for a girl who changed my life so much that she became my life. Love one ... the only ... unique! * I secretly hope this "letter" reaches her, to read it one day in a secure and uncertain future and to know that somewhere there is a man who will love her to the grave, and long after him, because my beloved ... death will not stop me from loving you and I'm looking for you, to see you for a moment, to smile, to shed a tear and that's enough for me. As long as I know that everything is fine with you and that you live a wonderful and dignified life. Now let's go back a bit and go back to the starting lines. What do you think, my dear reader ... you hardly clicked on this topic by accident. I know that you too ... whether you are a boy or a girl, a man or a woman, you have such a person deep in your heart and you hide him from everyone and deny him every time they talk about him, hear his name or other direct connection. him with you. Share your pain too, or help a stranger ... me. There is hardly an elixir to forget, there is hardly a way to stop thinking about it, to dream about it ... but you have been through all this. I wonder if I should go to a psychologist anymore, although I consider myself quite advanced in this field, but a side opinion, it is never too late. Apparently that's why I'm writing all this ... I need it.
Answers 15
Everything is overcome friend anonymous (strange as the latter may sound; e). Like you said you have a serious relationship, it would be logical to concentrate on it, you probably think I don't understand you when I write it, but it's not. I know what you're going through, and that's why I'm sure you can get over it. The scheme to remember why it didn't work seems ineffective only until a time later, when a few years passed with me, I realized how much it helps (the "scheme"). Dreams show only your worries, your thoughts. Nothing more, don't concentrate on them. If you really have no doubt that you only love her, look for her. If there is a serious reason why you can't look for her, share her ... But it's not very fair to your current girlfriend, as he said, you hurt her ... women (unlike many men) feel when they are not for you this love you are talking about. Good luck though, I hope you organize your life somehow and don't bother about it ...
OK! Fine? I know it's never that simple, but you've been together, fighting. You say you would do anything.
And why did you break up, when the love was so great?
Once you accept your ex for your great love, you should realize if you did the impossible for her to have her for yourself. If the impossible has not happened, only then do you come to terms with the present. Because great love is almost impossible to leave, the other is likeness and illusion of happiness.
I get upset with dramas with exes ... there are reasons for them to be there and when I look at you, you're still whole, you're not dead, you can live without her, you've slept with other women after her, so you've moved on. Or are you so in love but unfaithful to your great love? it's funny ... and I don't know why men are more likely to be so pathetic in love. No one is so memorable and irreplaceable, and great and wonderful ... a woman as a woman, there are many like her ... your head tells stories, and your brain listens to it ... but you are wrong in what you think . you talk like a drug addict, and drug addicts are weak-willed people. watch your life so that you don't miss this girl with whom you are now and then to read posts about her ....
create a secret profile on Facebook or where you wrote at the beginning or on a video site or somewhere on Skype or all three. She may need you to look for her, but she's afraid to look for you. Look for her again as a stranger but to be her friend. Don't show up and find out what's going on with her. Don't show her pictures. It is not made of a woman, however. Just look for a contact and write secretly. Don't think of your new girlfriend, but look for what you love, man. You only live once. I am sorry for such a direct statement. Go boldly without fear. Maybe she needs you too.
Well, that's a horror. These feelings. This is hell. Hell, punishment, at least for me. For example, I will not poison other people if I cannot stop thinking about a person. But this is life, people have to deal with it, no matter with a psychologist or not. I guess you have jobs, occupations and other interests. If a person does not have a job, it gets worse, sometimes worse, because when he has nothing to do - he starts thinking even more about this former. I can't explain why we are like that and why all this is, and in the end the body should only reject this image when it will no longer enter your life. He only hurts you.
I understand you better than I want to. In fact, I understand you so well that I want to scold you because I could have written your lines, and that thought infuriates me. I carry the same drama, but I don't show it publicly (nothing that we are anonymous here). Now all the verses, love novels and musical ballads seem very meaningful to you, but not strong enough and clear about the feelings that are inside you. I'm a little sorry for you, as I said, I could have written your lines. Because he wanted us to tell you about our love and because I really don't want to be crucified and declared the only lunatic on the site, I will tell you not my story, but my feelings. Let's both go crazy. I can't know that there is an individual like me here and let him be dramatic alone. I experienced the strongest love, and I was small. In fact, I was a child. At the time, I didn't believe it was really love. I denied my feelings and did not talk about them in front of my relatives. It was a small, dirty secret. Not really a secret, but definitely a taboo subject. During that period I had become very productive, everyone saw the change in me and several times a day I heard that I must be very, very much in love. People, I was more than in love. I haven't used drugs, but it must be something like that. My eyes had changed so much that I could see it in the mirror myself. I was shining, moving through the streets like a little sun. That's how I felt, that's how I was told I looked.
I wasn't just happy, I was kid-happy. This (yes, I'll call him this) man made me bring out the best in myself. I didn't have brakes for years, and my gas was pushed to the bottom. No wonder I crashed into a wall at breakneck speed. We knew him very well from day one. We drove each other crazy in every sense of the word. We have never had the perfect relationship on screen. We fought over "hello!" Only where we both liked it. Did I mention we were fragile ... just to remind you. We challenged each other every day. He made me outdo myself. It gave me purpose and direction. He became my muse. He turned me into a fighter and a winner. It made me love adrenaline, stop being afraid of anything, become bold and open to the world. Awaken a beast in me that I did not even suspect. No one was able to hurt me except him. He hurt me, I hurt him too, but we both fed on those feelings. I would say that he knew me better than my mother knew me. We didn't need words, we knew each other very well from day one. We acted like a spark and gasoline. We were explosive together. If there was a balance in a normal couple, we didn't even have simple boundaries. What harmony do you have !?
We were Nirvana and that has nothing to do with reason. We always played games, which today seems infantile and funny to me. I wouldn't play with another person, I really don't like that, but he makes me different. We chased each other. I love you - I don't love you, Go sit down, I hate you - don't leave. I hated him, but from the bottom of my soul. Not his personality, but the fact that he was like the root of a long-lived tree in me. I hated that I couldn't stop loving him. I never liked him as a person. He is something strange and different from everything I know. We are both alike and very different. We look alike to understand each other without words. We are so different, that we should always expand our worldview together. It annoyed me that he was like me. It annoyed me that he wasn't exactly like me. And I didn't care, because I carried it in my heart ... I carry it in my heart. It can be anyone, but no one has the right to name it. I was furious at the idea that there are people who don't see how great he is. I am still infuriated by the idea that he is misunderstood. I am angry that his other relatives are restricting him and stopping him from doing stupid things. The one behind me was balancing him. I am grateful to her because I know she will keep him alive and well, but I hate her for putting him in a cage. The irony is that he thinks the same things about her. She is gentler than me, kinder than me, calmer than me. She doesn't argue, she doesn't challenge him. These things make her a better choice for him. He told me he missed fighting. As ridiculous as it sounds, I miss arguing with this man.
I miss experiencing everything I felt then. I still carry it with me. I will always love him. I have to surgically remove the feeling that his heart is beating next to mine in my chest. She is good, you can ask him to stop driving fast and he will stop. I would never ask him. If we're going to die, let's die together. I knew he would do the nonsense himself, I preferred to be there. I don't think he would do anything stupid while alone with her. I have never hated his new girlfriend, on the contrary, I respect her a lot and I just want to kiss her. She did something I didn't have the strength to do. Gather him, tame him. I don't mind him being happy with her because, well, he's happy. I don't mind her coming after me. I'm glad it's her. I think I had the opportunity to get it back. We last wrote to each other about 3-4 years ago, then his relationship was young, and he was still fighting quietly with his beast tamer. I didn't want to bring him back to me. I felt he would be better off with her. If I was gasoline, it was water. He needs peace and she will give it to him. I think that's when I gave him the blessing to move on, and maybe that's when he gave it to me. We said many things to each other.
For example, that if you give a part of your heart to someone, there is no option to get it back or use it for another person. Exactly these words have been my mantra for 4 years. The second time I will not love like that and the second time I will not suffer like that. This with love sucks, but this with pain is great. I was with others after him. It happened naturally. My first love remains buried in memory, I feel it as a distant dream and only then I was able to move forward. I found a second love. No less beautiful, but much more balanced. I lost her too. It hurts, but not half as much as it hurt the first time. My first love and everything related to it is constant. It is enough just to remember and kill every other feeling in me. During my next relationship I had forgotten, but after the separation I remembered. It came to me a little retrospectively. My first love acts as a direction and a lifeline. I used to live with the idea that we would build a house, watch 1-2 huskies and argue that his work was related to travel.
After him I live in honor of dreams, hopes and love. When it's very difficult for me, I feel bad and I can't recover, I suddenly think of him. I know what he would tell me and I say it to myself. That's how I deal with my problems. When I argue with someone, I also think of that person. He told me directly everything bad in me and everything good. I live by his words, teach me a lot. He gave me more and more intangible things that will always help me. It made me grow up prematurely and with such valuable lessons. I can cry out of gratitude right now. 4 years ago I had a choice whether to suffer or to be grateful and I chose gratitude. I did not struggle with my feelings, I let them live in me. They don't have the voice they once had. They will always matter, but I will never bring them to the surface again. I control myself, I control them. I told myself that if it was really written for us, we would find each other someday. I imagined that I would meet him in a small cafe in Germany. Because I don't want to set foot in Germany, because I'm not going to find a sheltered cafe there ... because he wouldn't be sitting in a cafe. But, we are, it must be in the least probable place. I believe it was our destiny to meet and learn something. I believe that if we were destined to die together, we would somehow get there. I learned not to think about him.
Sometimes I dream it, Author. Different situations, but it always tells me something meaningful and real. I do not dream of a parallel universe, I dream of a friend. First of all, he was my friend because he knew me very well and accepted me with everything bad in me. If you think you're crazy, you're not. You loved and I think I understand how you loved. It's just time for you to leave that love behind. Let your feeling live with you, let it be a lesson and an example for you. As you decide, but accept that it is not your future. If I have to think about my love, it will continue to grow with each passing minute and I will never be with another person. I can't miss my whole life because of the past. Let me tell you, I never want to meet the man I wrote a whole novel about a while ago. If I see it, years will collapse in seconds. I wish he wasn't there. If it shows up, I won't be able to even look at anyone for a few more years. We used to give ourselves freedom ... we didn't part, we gave ourselves the freedom to live normally. There was no way we could live normally with each other, we just acted abnormally. We were toxic, explosive, horrible ... it's intoxicating, but it's not right. With it we can only eat in plastic plates, because the glass ones will be broken, to raise psychopaths, because we can't make normal children, to travel constantly, because we are not meek and calm together, to watch huskies, because they are a bit like wolves ... we can build a house with it so that we are both happy with the property.
We love each other perfectly, the problem is that we have never experienced only love. We took the whole palette of possible feelings and sank. I still feel everything I still carry it with me, but I no longer choose it every morning. I wake up and choose not to be next to that person, to meet others, to go out, to work ... to have a boring life so that he can be calm, alive and healthy. Because his new girlfriend will keep him alive, calm and healthy, and I will ruin him and confuse him only with my presence. Once a relationship is over, it's for the best. Remember it and move on.
Never, ever start relationships with decent people if you have not overcome your deficits, including feelings for your ex. It's not fair, the new "partners" certainly feel like substitutes. No one needs an emotionally broken person to hang out with us. But, provoked by this topic and by conversations with friends, I have a question for men - is it true that that love, the great one, comes to you only once?
Tell her everything you wrote. Once you live and you have to be with a person you love.
Drama and history - okay. However, when I read "overcome", "traveled" and the like ... I fully support the girl in her choice not to be with the author.
To think, dream, etc. means that there is something unfinished. You did not close the page, author. Or there is something left unsaid, something unfinished, that's why the subconscious is dealing with it. Or you can imagine that you will dream of her when you hear the name of the lady in question ... Maybe you repeat, well, I will dream of her and here you are, dreaming of her. If there is something unfinished, do not start something new, do not waste the time of the person next to you, if you do not really love him. You're just wasting her time and yours ... Lola
Mostly women write here. Men solve their own problems. Sometimes you get comments from men, but as far as I can see they give you authoritative advice to cut your balls and listen anonymously to the life of the poor girl! It's all over for her a long time ago and dreaming of your failures is a nightmare that you obviously want to experience live! Surely happiness does not dream, but lives! The lack of balls only helps if they are going to give you prostate massages!
Never start a relationship or sleep with another person before you feel sorry for the previous one. Yes, you may need sex, you may like one, but will you be able to love it? Especially if somewhere in your head is still the former, and you do not find her attractive? Let's not say that this new one is just so that you are not alone and have sex, but really want the previous one. And let your new relationship fail because you are emotionally unprepared for it. Sex is one thing, new feelings are quite another. It happened to me that my ex immediately rushed into other relationships, and then looked for me, telling me that I was still a thrill. So who needs this? To fuck a new person because you're selfish and you want sex. To lie to yourself and the new one is the great love. I have always given myself time to shake as much as necessary. Sex was not my priority. You enter into a new relationship with a pure heart,
Five years? Forget it! Once you are separated, then you are someone who no longer excites her and you are not the great love. Stay where you are tolerated and do not dig, because from two chairs, you will eventually bruise your ass by shaking yourself on the ground. Women are not simple and it is really the one who stands next to them, not the one who remembers to exist when they appear to him in a dream!