Hi, I want to apologize in advance for the confusing text I'm considering writing. I am very depressed and I do not know at all the purpose for which I will share my story. I can say for myself that I am a woman with a very low self-esteem that I have gained over the years. I am approaching my 30s engaged to a man of about 2 years. The first day I saw him, I said to myself, "God, how arrogant and beautiful he is, I have no chance with him." I have never dealt with beauties, I have never taken them off and waited for something from them. I just know the place on the bench and so on. However, it so happens that handsome men want a relationship with me. My ex was also a handsome man, but I won't talk about him. With the present, things started quite as a joke, he started to take me down, things started slowly. Anyone who's seen him tells me he's handsome. I mean, it didn't bother me at all, I loved it. Despite its difficult nature, with many compromises on my part, this relationship continues. For me, beauty has never been a priority, I am above these things. I've always wondered why he chose to be with me. Just looking at us from the side, in a photo, in a mirror, somehow I don't suit him. I have a feeling he deserves something better. I am quite ordinary, I do not stand out with my face or body. As a person I am honest, I know I don't like to brag, but for the people I love I give my heart and soul. Maybe that's why he's with me, I know. Lately I notice more and more often that the chicks stare at him as if he is alone and I am not there at all. I even started to envy him, I don't know how to describe him. Against the background of his person, I do not notice. I was jealous of him, I did circuses, he watched girls, but to some extent he rightly looks at them. Then I wonder why he is with me then? I don't ask him my stupid questions anymore and I control myself because I don't gain anything. I don't know how to fix my self-esteem people. We live abroad in a huge city where there are millions of beauties every day I see them. I know that I will never be that cool chick that everyone admires. I will remain invisible for life. I just wanted to share and make it easier for me, I know that these are white things and there are much more important things in life. It's bad to feel like a duck every day and be tied to a swan. that I will never be that cool chick that everyone admires. I will remain invisible for life. I just wanted to share and make it easier for me, I know that these are white things and there are much more important things in life. It's bad to feel like a duck every day and be tied to a swan. that I will never be that cool chick that everyone admires. I will remain invisible for life. I just wanted to share and make it easier for me, I know that these are white things and there are much more important things in life. It's bad to feel like a duck every day and be tied to a swan.
Answers 14
He is with you because he himself has low self-esteem. Most likely he was with a few classmates before you and they did him a disservice with other men, so he stopped at you - he wanted security :) an unwritten rule of regret is that who has less opportunities makes most compromises in the relationship.
Glad they still want goodies.
Emmy men always take ugly ducklings for serious relationships because they are afraid of the beautiful and get complex. And if the ugly ones get to someone and squeeze him by the neck, there is no release, to beat them, to humiliate them - they do not move from there and crawl at their feet. With the poisoned beauty they know that they can't kill their complexes and crush her, that's why everything alive hates beautiful women so much. It's good that you're not mean. Usually, the uglier one is, the more vicious, sarcastic and manipulative it is. What misunderstandings have I seen next to acquaintances ... He hides and doesn't brag on Facebook like everyone else brags about boyfriends, they don't get out of them, and does she squeeze the leash, intrigue, manipulations, slapping, being angry with other women and breaking stands. What are these men doing to themselves because of some complexes ...
I am in exactly the same situation. He is handsome, very sociable and ambitious, and younger than me. I am crushed, with low self-esteem, as I have heard many times from others: "nothing special" or "undeveloped personality". Many girls and women look at it, some take it off in front of me without even blinking. There are also unattractive, but others have a very nice appearance. He himself is a "connoisseur" - he likes to watch, is interested in women, and watches a lot of porn with specific actresses. For a person with low self-esteem, this is downright torture. Ever since we've been together, 5 years, I've lived with the constant feeling that I'm not good enough, that I'm not getting up. To tell you the truth, I can't wait for this to end - just to catch someone else or get tired of me, whatever, just to break up. I tried many times to end this relationship, it is harassment for both of us, but after a few days we meet again. I have no idea why he comes with me, what he loved and liked. All I know is that people with such a problem should not be in a relationship. In order to create a relationship with another, you must have a solid foundation on which to stand - self-esteem, self-confidence, trust in the other, etc. All the things that are missing here. Of course, this did not happen overnight. As she said herself, low self-esteem did not appear like that. These are many years in which it has been undermined - by parents, classmates, friends, boyfriends, life situations, by yourself. The truth is, I don't know what to advise you. I guess most of the comments will be that if he is with you, then he appreciates you or it is normal for him to look and be interested, he is a man. but this is very easy to say and very difficult to believe when you are so burdened. And, frankly, that's the price of dating a handsome man. You need strong nerves and self-confidence to deal with all the interest. The stupid thing is that it wasn't an end in itself for me to catch up with a handsome man, he took the first step. A little later I realized that it was too high a ball for me, but empty love. I let things go on their own, I got used to crying and feeling bad about myself, and at the same time I didn't have the strength to put an end to it. I just hope the initiative comes from him ... it may sound awfully sad and pathetic, but that is the situation. I don't recommend it, of course, but I have no idea what else to do. I tried in every way to raise my self-confidence and mood - from changing hairstyles, sports, etc. to develop their hobbies, training, etc. It reminds me - what do you do? Are you good at it, do you like it? I think that work / hobbies can distract you from the depth of appearance and raise your self-confidence, if you do well in them. Maybe some volunteer activity - landscaping, shelters, etc. This would give you a sense of usefulness and significance, and distract yourself. For me, it has an effect - small and short, but better than nothing.
If I was with him I wouldn't be jealous of them at all, if he chose to be with me then he finds me with enough self-confidence even though I'm ugly;)
I am a man. My (ex) girlfriend thought I was handsome. Honestly, I don't know exactly why, when I look in the mirror I don't see myself as such. I'm just ordinary, neither beautiful nor ugly. She was jealous of other women. Come to think of it, I don't even know why, I haven't felt other women drool over me. To some extent, male beauty, seen through women's eyes, I think, is quite subjective. Whatever you think is beautiful, other women may not see it that way. What he sees in you - well, you're probably not as bad looking as you think, and your attitude towards him is also important. It is appreciated.
Honey, you said it yourself, for you beauty is not the most important thing, you are above things. Maybe that's why he's with you. Because being beautiful and attractive, he sees how he attracts only the superficial, and your relationship is on another level. You are obviously firmly on the ground, a conscious and modest woman, so raise your head. Beauty is temporary and transient. At the age of 45-50-60 you will not live with the sex appeal of the other, but with his personality, so be proud that you have outgrown the others :) F, 25
The author and № 4 - I don't know what you look like, but your problem is not so much the appearance as the low self-esteem. Very few people of both sexes can be called truly beautiful, most are averagely neither beautiful nor ugly. You're probably like that, I don't think you're that ugly. Depression, jealousy, low self-esteem is the price you pay to have a handsome man by your side, I also think like №4. You have agreed to pay her, the alternative is to leave them and look for less attractive men. You won't do it, no matter how naughty you are. Your men are also unlikely to leave you, because you are just as comfortable as a pair of slippers, they are not tormented by jealousy, you are not capricious, arrogant and vain like most beauties. You have resigned yourself to being the passive side, to suffering, as if it were a kind of masochism. What kind of love and relationship is something that does not make you happy, but makes you suffer and wait for the other to end it? You let someone else make an important decision for your life because it makes it easier for you. Well, live then and wait.
7 And you are of the heathen, aren't you? And Grandma knows that everyone is attracted to beauty above all, as much as you want to pretend to be funny. You see how the leagues of the beauties, both men and women, run. And you see, when they are in a relationship with the beautiful, how they behave - they brag, show off, take pictures, pamper them like perinez, sex is different. And with the ugly ones, they keep skating and trying not to show up much, much. They are with them as if they were with their mother / father, and sex is very modest, obligatory and does not leave that exciting emotion on their faces and behavior as when they are with someone who attracts them.
Yes, number 3, there are few fools to wash with their wife's beautiful laughter, because the great beauty is in a hurry to take off her pants on the first one she meets when something gets dirty on her husband. On the other hand, if she is more withdrawn, they will constantly sniff her under the skirt when to stalk her and fuck her behind the back of the cuckold. That's why darling number 3, no one is happy to constantly turn to see less to have his wife. That is why you are the beauties for lovers, mutres and chantonies.
Look, author, I also live with a handsome man. I've never been with a more handsome man - it's in my eyes. Half of my friends also see him as handsome, but the other half appreciate him more for his other qualities. Once we had coffee with his ex-wife and when I refused to order a cake, I involuntarily said: "With such a handsome man, one must be careful with the waist ...." She just stared at me. And just as spontaneously he said: "Who? Is Anton beautiful? Are you crazy ?! I still can't believe that a chick like you is ready to marry him!" Here is an example of the fact that we do not have an objective self-image. In the eyes of my husband, I am a "beauty", at least she treats me like one and constantly emphasizes it to acquaintances. Looking in the mirror, I see only a pleasant-looking woman, but nothing else. So - love looks with different eyes. A more conscious man does not put a woman in clichés. He sees in her the whole personality, discovers her charm in her movements, in her smile, in her gait, in the way she even eats strawberries ... Of women whom I consider absolutely perfect, my husband looks back, they don't impress him, but is intrigued by ladies, whom I find completely unattractive. And vice versa: men he finds impressive, I would not notice them at all. Don't bother with nonsense, dear author, love the person next to you, enjoy your life together, everything else is irrelevant. The strength of personality is what attracts both sexes. which I consider absolutely perfect, my husband looks away, they do not impress him, but he is intrigued by ladies, whom I find completely unattractive. And vice versa: men he finds impressive, I would not notice them at all. Don't bother with nonsense, dear author, love the person next to you, enjoy your life together, everything else is irrelevant. The strength of personality is what attracts both sexes. which I consider absolutely perfect, my husband looks away, they do not impress him, but he is intrigued by ladies, whom I find completely unattractive. And vice versa: men he finds impressive, I would not notice them at all. Don't bother with nonsense, dear author, love the person next to you, enjoy your life together, everything else is irrelevant. The strength of personality is what attracts both sexes.
Author, physical beauty alone means nothing. I used to think that beauty is at least 50%, but it's not even that much. My strongest love so far has been with a girl who for at least a few weeks has made absolutely no impression on me. He won me over with his kind, warm, and humane attitude, and he turned my head so much that I had lost my mind over her. Come to think of it, all my love affairs after her have always been with girls who didn't impress me at first, but had a good and warm attitude. Years ago I had the opposite. Along with common acquaintances, I met a nice, intelligent and very decent girl. Even now I can't find any disadvantages for her, neither in appearance nor in character, even our interests are very similar. Good, but there is no relationship, there is no closeness between us, accordingly, she has no feelings. So you may not be attractive to someone, but you may be the whole world to your friend. Besides, I'm telling you as a man, I've never liked make-up and naughty women. I love ordinary girls dressed simply and unobtrusively.
Author, you can only be glad to have a man by your side. There are no ugly women, there are drunk men. :))) After 30, almost all women are ugly, or directly all women are ugly as sex. Even among animals, males are much more beautiful than females .... peacocks, pheasants, lions and more. So it is with humans, but nature has created attraction and the masculine instinct to ensure the continuation of the human race. That's why men see female "beauty" as early as puberty, but after a while they realize that she was cheating and that there is nothing beautiful about a woman. Renaissance artists painted the female body because it was easier for them, because it is quite rounded, consisting of a lot of fat. The male body is much more beautiful, built of muscles, the embodiment of male strength. That is why well-groomed men with exquisite relief are beautiful and desired by women. If your husband is still with you, then there is something he values in you, and be sure that it is not your beauty. Beautiful women, as you call them, are mostly unhappy and men don't want them as wives, they just want to fuck them and throw them away afterwards. Even those with a flashy appearance (salon beauties) do not radiate sex appeal, but waxy coldness. Men only want them to introduce themselves to the public, but they do not tremble in anticipation of sexual experiences! Such women do not have stable families and cover their misfortune with false pride, demonstrating independence and female independence-self-sufficiency! Once the woman chosen by the man respects him, as a man, and accepts him with all his shortcomings, then the man will reciprocate. Do not forget, that the man is the head of the family and stands higher than the woman and the other members. Feminism is the main culprit for women's misery. The woman can discuss her problems with the man, make suggestions, but never get into a heated argument with him, because she will always be the loser! Greetings!
Isn't your view of yourself a little distorted? Once you like beauties, you may be more attractive than you think. Maybe you need to learn to love yourself more in order to feel happy with what you have and not to create your own torments.