My last relationship wasn't very long, but it was probably doomed. Drugs were involved, so was the distance. In the beginning it started lightly (on my part). But gradually I fell in love, fell in love, fell in love! And how could I not, as with this man I was totally myself, in my best light. We had no problems, we both felt great. I shone and the people around me saw it. Gradually, his problems began to appear. He was disoriented, confused, constantly hesitant about very serious things like work and study. I gave incessantly - I encouraged him, I tried to show him the right way, I was kind but also critical. I wondered what he was missing, I wanted to give it to him. At first I underestimated the drugs. But then it became more than clear that these things seriously hindered his life and development. I was very angry, that my boy, a handsome, good, and truly intelligent man, is failing. During this time I studied. I told myself that if it was written, we would shorten the distance. I wanted to be with this man, I dreamed of sharing my life with him. I felt an inner need to give myself completely. In the end, I ended it. He explained that he could not meet my expectations for a serious long-term relationship at this stage of his life. We both have feelings, but I thought that was not enough. I am a woman, I still want security, and one day a family. There was no other woman, for sure. Either the problem was in me or in him. So ... I still love it, I still wonder if it's okay. I miss him, I'm interested in what's going on in his life, etc. From time to time I even wonder - was I wrong, if it wasn't for the distance, would it have been different Maybe absurd, and perhaps valid questions. Sometimes I dream of meeting him again in time and this time there will be no obstacles ... I gave a lot, really, and I wanted almost nothing. I have no interest in any man, but I am lonely. I find it difficult to trust and I am cold to men. Any advice or comments on the situation? :) Ж23
Answers 3
See dear life is in front of you ... be firm and persistent .. let the past remain the past :)
I feel the same way my ex and I broke up for almost the same reasons as yours. I'm still thinking about him and I want that "right moment" to come when we can get together and everything is fine. I kept thinking that when more time passes I will forget it .. yes but no .. and these clichés about the past and I often use them but in reality to achieve a result is much more difficult. I really BELIEVE that to move forward the best way is to turn your back on the past and I did it, but with my ex I can't achieve it ... it left too much of a mark in my life. You're not the only one I can tell you .. I live my life .. I try to meet others, but it doesn't work. I'll tell you what I'm doing - I live and secretly think about it, I don't tell anyone and I hope that one day I will stop ..
From the author: Thanks to number 1. Hello, number 2. I did not expect to meet anyone with such a situation. :) The reason we still have a hard time going through all this is that this is not a "typical" separation. There is no exhausted relationship, no quarrels, no infidelity, no disappointment or anything else. This secret hope will not go away from me soon, I feel. At times, it may seem silly and insane from the sidelines, but only I know how unique and special this relationship was to me. Regarding the lesson learned - I hope we have mastered it. :) I will be happy to leave some way to connect, if you want I will leave.