Hello to everyone who reads my story! I am a girl of 13 and I want to share with you what is bothering me and I will be very grateful if you give advice on the problem! Why am I like that? I have asked myself many times why I am so good? I help people, and when I see that they don't appreciate it, I keep helping some who care about that job for me with an apology, and then I'm sorry. Just someone who insulted me until a few days ago or a person who doesn't sleep for me suddenly decides to come and be nice for a while and ask me for something and I can't refuse, but my question is why not can i ?? Maybe I'm stopped by the fact that one day everything will come back to me and I'm afraid that if I don't help in time, I may need help, but then there will be no one to help me. Is this bad? What to do?
Answers 6
You are afraid that if you do not help people, they will not like you. So, reading your writings, you are not very popular among your classmates, in which, by the way, there is nothing wrong, and I was. Perhaps the few cases in which they communicate with you are when they ask for something and the rest of the time they ignore it. So, if you stop and help them, you will completely lose human contact. My advice is always when you are in a situation to choose yourself or the other person, to choose yourself, except in very exceptional situations when you have to save a human life applied. Now, I'm not saying that you have to sacrifice your life for the life of another, but that if you don't respect yourself, no one will respect you. Your time, your money, your feelings and your desires are most important.
When I was younger I was direct with everyone, I didn't care who I was talking to, I just stood my ground. Things have changed dramatically in the last year. There are many occasions, none of them seem real or sufficient. I became soft, too good. I always want to be useful, sometimes to the extreme. Honestly, it affected my self-esteem. I feel overwhelmed, but I just can't stop being good. It exhausts me. If anyone has found the balance in this regard, I would be very grateful to hear two or three words.
Number 1 is right and he wrote you a very meaningful comment, author. Listen to it and strive to fulfill it. It will be difficult at the beginning, but then you will see how you will feel more confident and have self-confidence. Understand that you are nothing below your peers. ж30
If you think that if you help now, in time you will be helped and you are quite mistaken.
Number 3, the balance is in what I said in 2 is to combine with wisdom. That means making a reasonable judgment. To judge whether your kindness and in what order is useful in this case. If you see that a person you have done good to is ungrateful, should you continue to do him a favor? What are you teaching him like that? That he can be spoiled, ungrateful and still be pleased? It should not be so. Help people who you see are worthy, need, appreciate it and are grateful for it, so you will feel wonderful from your kindness and not as you are now - exhausted from use and for people who do not appreciate it. The other is that help is offered when it is needed or when it is requested and not constantly.
There is kindness, there is kindness, and there is simplicity. You can look up the difference in the dictionary. In any case, in order to protect people like you from "user wolves", it is imperative that they seek advice from their family - not from a friend, but from the family. If the relationship is not good, then from a relative you trust. If this is the case, however, it can get to the point where someone abuses you in a sense, using your innocence. Don't hate this quality - it's very nice, and it's an honor - but the world is not made by and for people like you. That's why you need protection. Just promise yourself that you will not take any step before you ask for advice.