My relationship with the lady in question is very strange, there is nothing sexually physical between us, but there is some platonic sexual attraction. I have a wife next to me since 2016, my husband is from 2018. I love her, she is extremely attractive, my type (not that I have a type, but I am definitely attracted in every way), I want to have children from her. We have a sex life, a lot of common themes and interests, we complement each other, we do different things, but somehow I don't feel a desire, an initiative from it, we are like robots. It's just lame. And the fact that she is very straightforward, accurate in every way - a Capricorn woman in other words. It has its principles and strictly follows them, it does not go beyond the borders. I'm quiet, but a lot of emotions are raging inside me. I am a Scorpio (I believe somewhat in astrology, so I mention, the three of us meet stereotypes, the other woman is Sagittarius). I'm 28 years old. I work in a big company where there are many different people. I don't even know many of them. I rose to the level of a manager, I like my job. I met more people.
A woman with whom we didn't even communicate much, but we know each other vaguely, recently added me to her friends on a social network. She is a single woman, working in another department in a high position again. I knew almost nothing about her. She immediately started writing to me, friendly at first. And I behaved normally. At one point he wrote me something very perverse. That from the first day she saw me she wanted to "wipe" me. I was just "wow". And I cut very clearly. My friend trusts me and doesn't dig into my phone, like I do into hers, but you've always been faithful. I didn't want to pass it on. The irony is that I'm jealous and would make a problem, if anyone treats her like that. Anyway. I explained to my colleague that I was married and had no intention of behaving more decently towards her. She paused, then continued to write to me that I was very sexy, that I had a perverted look and a cool body, that she was aroused when she thought of me. And somehow the thought made me feel good too. I explained to her that we could only be friends, but we agreed to write sexual things, a kind of sex chat and nothing more, no nude photos, just conversations. She doesn't even attract me ... She's taller than me (I'm 1.75, she's 1.80), she's plump, she's not an ugly woman, she's beautiful, light blonde with blue eyes. I usually like a little shorter than me, brunettes, more gentle in appearance. I'm not superficial, and I'd give another one a chance, but I'm just saying it's not a woman, which I would usually fall for and that my wife is physically more attracted to me. However, this woman is driving me crazy. She is very perverted. Very sexual, passionate. What things is he just telling me. It makes me feel like a man and rapes my fantasies.
My wife is not like that, she even rarely compliments, we are more like friends on her part. But I love her very much, she's just like that. I wouldn't cheat physically, it's not like I miss sex. But I lack passion in him. I don't even watch porn, it doesn't work for me at all. Before I watched, I even felt guilty about it, I'm so loyal to the woman. However, this colleague, let's call her, acts as an aphrodisiac for me! I have no intention of sleeping with her, I will be disgusted with myself if I do. But every night I wait for my wife to fall asleep so we can correspond with the other, and I masturbate while she talks to me, as she does. She certainly wants real sex, but I won't give it to her. If you want to believe, I don't want it. But the idea, the fantasy excites me. The other day, for example, he wrote to me in detail how he wanted to put me in a service toilet, make oral love to me until it was over and my knees didn't hold, and then have sex until my lower back started to hurt and she between my legs. He called it an extragalactic sensation. It's just that the words he uses and the pictures he describes excite me. We don't meet often at work, but when that happens she sends me air kisses, looks at me, but doesn't try to do anything, because I told her that if she tries, we stop everything. This is a fantasy. The bad thing is that I no longer want real sex, I only masturbate in our conversations, plus it can't go on forever, and if the woman finds out - she will kill me. What to do? Have I sinned and is this infidelity?
I do not intend to really do it, my colleague suggests that we have an affair several times, but I explicitly refused, I have already told you. Everything is so perverted. I never wanted to do that before, I was blind to other women and such perversions. But maybe I am attracted by the difference that the colleague is the complete opposite of my wife. I do not know what to think. And by the way, I don't want anything but a sex chat, and she doesn't want anything serious either. However, I feel wrong. Is there a way out? I don't want to ruin my marriage. Should I stop right away? And what if the other woman posts the chats or sends them to her wife ... I don't believe she does, because she doesn't want anything serious and she wanted it to be secret, but if it's because I'm pushing her away in life and not I want to take that freak? And I will NOT sleep with her. I don't even want to live. Has anything like this happened to you?
Answers 36
I answer the question from the title. It's not infidelity, but it shows - disrespect for the person you're with and shows that you, as a family man - don't cost much.
Well, it's simple: if your wife doesn't agree, it's infidelity. You know, there are all kinds of people - more open or more conservative. For some it is not a problem for their partner to break up, flirt, have group sex, etc. Honestly, it will be a little difficult to explain that these are just sex chats. Why write if you don't want anything more? Why would you write such things to a person who does not attract you? The very idea that the other side is a person who doesn't really arouse me would kill any desire to write works with a sexual context. If they were to be completely innocent. If you want so much, at least find a babe to please you or just drive him to porn. And it is best to sit down and get along with your wife, regardless of the end result.
You won't be able to fool us into not wanting to fuck her, no matter how much you tell us. (just count how many times you repeated in your text that you don't want to have sex with her) But your real problem is that you can't deceive yourself either ... When I start, I'm interested in a man who doesn't attract me. I don't explain myself to him at all. I cut it and I don't do it. If you really wanted to be exactly with your current wife, you wouldn't explain to this and any colleague at all that whether or not you are engaged, married, etc., that whether you love your wife or not. .. at all, but you would not explain yourself and your personal life at all. You'd just tell her something like, "If it's not something at work, don't bother me," period.
I just answer the title - yes, it's infidelity. You may not have seen each other physically, but emotional (mental) infidelity exists, and if you start from there, it's likely to continue to the physical part. Think about it, if the person next to you sleeps with you, but thinks about another, is it right? No, and he said you felt wrong. You will not feel wrong if you do something right. Or maybe the woman who writes to you intends to separate you (even if she doesn't), and if your wife finds out about your "dump" and decides to break up with you, the other woman would gladly want to replace. My advice is to think about your priorities and maybe there is no other way to use your time.
If you put so much dirty energy into your relationship, everything would be fine. If I were in the place of a woman, your suitcases and the door!
I envy you, I'm 25 and I have a relationship with a very nice girl, but things are very lame with me .. the thing is that she has to do everything and wants to command me, but I also listen to her because I'm a fool .. but now I start to like it and that's exactly what I'm looking for like you .. a relationship with a stranger and intimate, just look at things and something more than that came out .. I would advise you to move forward boldly;) and once again thank you
Wow, I would pollinate her by now. No matter how much you repeat - "I would not, I would not" it is clear that you want, just if your wife turns in the wrong direction, her argument, her misunderstandings at home will not blink. And if I find out that mine is writing to someone like that, end, ie this is most likely waiting for you too, so be careful!
Things are going to divorce, but it is certain that you will hardly catch the predatory slut. You will remain single for a long time, but on the other hand, I think that's exactly what you need.
Just the fact that in your mind you have "sex" with the woman in question, regularly, on top of everything you are waiting for him and looking forward to it, is absolute infidelity! It doesn't matter that there is no physical contact!
Author, you look a bit like these women who constantly explain how money doesn't matter, but only go out with rich men. Your job is the same. You seem to have the perfect woman, but you are waiting for her to fall asleep to write to another. And to write a hundred times that you do not want to sleep with a colleague will not change the situation. You have taken this path. It is only a matter of time. It is better to stop any contact with the colleague, because in time it will be too late.
With respect to your wife, but I have no good opinion of Capricorn women. Your relationship is still fresh. You are a scorpion and you yourself say that you are looking for passion, but your wife does not. And the passion for the scorpion man and devotion are very important, as is sex. You will continue to search for passion, even if it is not the new one. She is an archer, which is a fiery sign. I am writing these things because you wrote that you follow and are interested. I am a lion woman. In recent years, only scorpions have been attracted to me. I never pushed myself to them, they were like hypnotized, because I put passion into everything and it shows. One was quite in love with me. This plump girl understands why she is chasing you so hard. No, it's not infidelity, you're just missing something seriously with your wife. But this one also turned your head quite impudently. The scorpion in love explained to me that if you were in a couple and kissing another you were pure infidelity. The truth is that if your wife finds out, she will feel uncomfortable. Stop if you can, but I don't think you're safe from this happening again. Still, you and your wife have been dating recently, it's been three years and you already lack passion. It seems to me that in a year or two this will become a more serious problem for you. I am in such a relationship now and it is a problem, I am even considering separation, but my relationship is much longer. The only real passion I had was with a scorpion man, and I think he was with me. You talk about giving a chance, you mention the three. I hope I'm not wrong, but it seems to me that you were in a hurry to get married. And yet you and your wife have been dating recently, it's been three years and you already lack passion. It seems to me that in a year or two this will become a more serious problem for you. I am in such a relationship now and it is a problem, I am even considering separation, but my relationship is much longer. The only real passion I had was with a scorpion man, and I think he was with me. You talk about giving a chance, you mention the three. I hope I'm not wrong, but I think you're in a hurry to get married. Still, you and your wife have been dating recently, it's been three years and you already lack passion. It seems to me that in a year or two this will become a more serious problem for you. I am in such a relationship now and it is a problem, I am even considering separation, but my relationship is much longer. The only real passion I had was with a scorpion man, and I think he was with me. You talk about giving a chance, you mention the three. I hope I'm not wrong, but I think you're in a hurry to get married.
"At one point she wrote me a surprising thing very perverse. That from the first day she saw me she wanted to" wipe "me" - that's how it started, she took you for a carp that will soon bite. The story is made up, a man in a serious position would not waste his time writing camps!
"Literary" exercises of a chikiboet.
No, of course, what infidelity. Your wife and she are chatting with someone, don't think she's frigid. That is why there is no initiative from her. But you can't be said to be cheating on you, can you?
Girlfriend or wife last? ;) Is the spirit still provoking with provocative topics? However, on the topic - if you are the OK woman next to you to "do" them the same and you understand that it is "allowed" then it is not infidelity. Otherwise it is. G31
You are the next one who wants the writers here to play the role of his conscience, as if he doesn't have his own. And on the condition that you realize how you would feel if your wife did the same. I understand you, like a sex scorpion, you're in love. But if you no longer even want sex with your wife, ie it has started to affect your marriage, it's time to stop. Tell this beauty that your wife has begun to feel something and you will have to stop it. And that it's better for her too, because she won't waste any more time with you, but will find someone to fulfill her fantasies. If necessary, change jobs. You love your wife and know her well. Try to diversify your sex life in a way that she likes.
Without reading the topic, I will only answer the title - No, this is not infidelity, but if your girlfriend finds out she will be angry with you and may break up with you. Answer yourself- Would you like your wife to write such things to another man? You better stop from a moral point of view. I wrote such things to a girl. My friend never found out about it then, but I still feel guilty. This is my opinion
The author: Well, maybe I'm aroused by the other woman, as I said, because it's the complete opposite of my wife, as a vision and as a character. I didn't make up the story, I added the details so you know what kind of woman writes to me and what exactly she writes to me that I didn't start first, but just how her perverted brain works. Who does not believe, I will personally send him our chats and my profiles. That's why I'm writing, I want to get out of the situation. As for my wife, she has been my wife recently. Exactly one year (we got married on April 10, 2018). I still can't believe we took that step. I am to blame for the situation. I plan to tell my colleague to stop doing this, just as I will accept things. And yes, she is so direct and cynical, not so much me, but my wife in general. She liked me, she followed me. Other women liked me too, I maintain my appearance and they find me nice, but no one has chased me so far. Maybe I just felt more wanted.
Your question is incorrect. In practice, you are not cheating, but when your wife finds out, you will become tall 155 because your head will fall. Not that I expect much thought from you, but it is useful for your height to realize what you want. I will make it easier for you, because I see that you are very difficult - the babe will fuck you, and even without this fact, when your wife understands, who are we doing? When your partner kicks you, you fall into the paws of the person in question. Do you want this? Okay, you're going to fuck for 3 years like the world, you're going to drain your body fluids, then? In the meantime, there will be other seducers who will want to show you how much they have learned from porn.
Capricorn is not a boring zodiac sign. Dear author, this zodiac sign can hide your hat in every aspect. The problem is that you men are not enterprising enough (I'm not talking about everyone!) To ignite the slut in a woman. I am a Libra. Scales, calculations, wanderings, worries and a bunch of other things. I've always been almost a tree in bed, I've been giving away, but not what I really can. With my husband, it's like I'm a different person ... Everything is different, and my husband is different ... And yes, it's infidelity. It doesn't always have to be physical to have it. If my husband writes intimate things to another, it's a complete goodbye for me, without thinking. Today Easter eggs, tomorrow bed performances. Let's not forget that my partners and I were once strangers, friends ... colleagues ... or "So for the chat" ... My advice is to finish this and talk to your wife, that some things are not very okay. One truth is always better than a thousand good lies ... Good luck! A. A
If you didn't drink next to me in the evening ... I would have dumped you a long time ago.
"Infidelity" in what sense? Your thoughts are already with another. And they are there because consciously or not - something in your current relationship is lame, missing, etc. Is this infidelity? Or an opportunity for a new relationship, which, if realized and more successful and satisfying than the first, will awaken it, and not the current one? We want to frame things, for example one thing is either "infidelity" or "infidelity". But this is not the case. It's all probabilities. Random or non-random :)
I do not intend to read the topic, I will only tell you from the title - no matter what you wrote, YES, IT IS BETRAYAL! And you better stop it in time, if your wife finds out, she'll give it back to you. That's how we Capricorns are. ;)
Well, answer only one question. If the roles were reversed and you found out that your wife was writing dirt with a colleague, who "is not her type" and with whom "she would not sleep". How will you feel? Well, if it sucks, think that with these "innocent" conversations you're doing just that to your wife. For me, sometimes emotional infidelity is even worse than physical infidelity. Because the physical, if it is a one-time, not a parallel connection, I can justify. You got drunk, the hormone hit you ... I'll forgive you. However, if I find out that the person next to me shares the most intimate dreams and desires with someone other than me, it will hurt me a lot! It turns out that you do not have a strong enough relationship with your wife to admit your deepest desires in bed. Whether he will fulfill them or not is another question. However, if you need another person to talk to on this topic, your marriage is not going well. I will share something with you. I'm divorced for this very reason! For years, my husband chatted with other women, as if only as friends. Until provocative photos began to arrive, which he had foolishly forgotten to delete from the family laptop. Well, I couldn't stand it and the scandals started. He was sorry, he wasn't going to happen again ... but I didn't trust him anymore! And if you go on this road once ... we finally got to the point where he had given his personal phone to the "girlfriend" in question and she called him without any shame at any time, including in the evening. Well, I already had more and asked for a divorce! I don't even know if they slept together or not. And I do not care! The fact is that emotionally he was closer to her than to me! And he shared things with her, which, in principle, you should not share with anyone but your spouse. So think carefully about where you are going with these "innocent" conversations. And you may have them as a joke, but you don't know how the other party looks at things and whether it has seriously set a goal to divorce you and start a relationship with you.
Fictional stories again ... And if it's still true - if you had blocked it in the beginning and you wouldn't have gotten this far. For me personally, this is infidelity. When you write such things with another woman, it is more than obvious that you want to do them with the woman in question. You have two options - you block and ignore your colleague and as if nothing happened or you continue to write to her, but you leave your wife for someone who still has little respect for her.
I, as a straightforward Capricorn woman, will tell you - yes, this is an emotional infidelity and I think it is less infidelity than the actual one. It's just a matter of time. Subconsciously, it's as if you don't love your wife. You say yourself that you are jealous and you would not like it. Put yourself in her shoes and decide how you would proceed from here on out and whether this is really the right person for you. It's not fair to the girl. This is my opinion. Success!
Number 20, by your logic, his wife is not with the right man, and from what he wrote, he is not with the right woman. I doubt he took the initiative with her.
I am a man and according to the very fact that hiding from your wife is infidelity. The easiest way to answer yourself is to ask yourself how you would feel if she secretly wrote dirt with another man. Whether or not you've done your job is irrelevant to the trust placed in you.
Ego perversion, if this was true as the author says! He has been married for a year and he can't do it anymore if he doesn't write with some patchwork and shine while reading her dirt! And his wife thinks she has a husband! Sorry, author, but you're real rubbish! Very disgusting! And yes, it is infidelity, lies and betrayal! You neither love nor respect your wife. Otherwise you wouldn't be chatting with someone unskilled, but you would cut her off and tell her NO, find someone else! You are very guilty in front of your wife. I hope the jester beats you when he finds out and finds a decent man, not a pervert like you.
Come on, admit that you want to make it crooked :) I have good news and bad news for you. The good thing is that you can have sex with a colleague. The bad thing is that you will have to divorce. The choice is yours.
It's simple - if there is no infidelity and nothing wrong at all, then there is no reason not to share it. If you are worried about sharing it, then something is wrong. The criterion for infidelity is not whether you sleep with someone or just write to him. If your partner does not agree with something and you still do it secretly or openly, then it is infidelity. And now every couple decides for themselves what they can and can't do. For some, even sex is not infidelity, and for others, any flirtation is infidelity. I wrote only on the title, I have not read the topic.
From a man with almost the same story !!! Enough moralists! . It is clear that it excites you, take the moments, it will run out and it will stop anyway. Don't try to stop right away, because you will come back to her again. She will write to you, and it will begin again. Relax, enjoy life, as long as you have this conscience ... Only moralists write here, and who knows how much they have a clear conscience ... But be very careful not to get caught, be very careful. Don't stop, it will stop and run out, the time has not just come.
33, it is not a question of moralism, but of elementary respect and sincerity towards the person with whom the author has chosen to share his life. Things obviously incomprehensible to you. You may enjoy it and think that if you are not caught you do not hurt anyone, but there is no such film. The fact that you do not have the dignity to admit what you are not exporting is indicative enough that you do not care about the woman next to you, but for some reason you are comfortable sitting with her.
First you have to understand that she doesn't like you, she also likes that you are a manager. Because she is greedy and immoral and pursues personal gain, regardless of the consequences for others, she manipulates sex, in this case virtual, imaginary sex. Her idea is to catch you for herself, because you are a manager and she has made her accountant and that is why she is playing this whole scenario, she has already almost entangled you in the web. In the beginning you were seduced by her interest and attention, and now you feel guilty and justify yourself with your wife. If you want to save your relationship, end this farce immediately and forever, block it from everywhere and forget this story.
№ 33 - Everyone has an opinion and can say it freely. The comments are therefore. It doesn't matter if you agree with them. It is moral values that protect a society and a person from disintegration. And as you can see, no one here writes Enough already ku-vi and kur-ari.
Author: I felt guilty until recently, but when I saw my wife's phone was full of pictures of some naked men, rather male prostitutes (in other words, actors and models), given that she has a nice man next to her. Since she can watch, I don't regret writing to myself. I told her I didn't like it and she deleted them, I also told her that our sex life was at the bottom and I didn't see any initiative from her. So if she wants to look after men, I want to go after women and everyone in their path. Interestingly, she understood the problem and simply said that it was because of the busy everyday life. In the evening we had the greatest Easter sex since. As for the other, just to insert, I am a manager at the lowest level, and she is much more successful and takes double my salary, so it was not for money. But I told her we were stopping. It was a momentary weakness. If he wants us to be friends, well, if not, everyone on their way again. And she agreed to a nonsense-free friendship. In the end, things settled down.