Hello, I am a girl of almost 21 years with several failed relationships behind me. I notice that some people my age are already married, they even have a baby. I know that I am young, that they are a minority, and that nowadays many people take this step at a later stage in their lives, but I am afraid that I have not yet found a partner with whom to build the foundations for a family. I have other fears, I can't judge whether they are justified or not. All the women in the family had children aged 19-20-23 and I have the feeling that I am breaking the 'tradition'. My parents and grandparents stayed together, graduated well, had a good job and provided for the family financially. Now is the time to share that I am an only child, granddaughter and even great-granddaughter. All my childhood I prayed and wrote letters to my brother, which never appeared. My mother had 2 miscarriages after the age of 30 and gave up. I'm afraid it's not hereditary. I'm also afraid that some tests have found abnormal cells in my cervix. Later it turned out that it is not so serious for now, I follow the instructions of the doctors and I feel better, but I still feel like fear. I study at a university abroad, I study more languages separately, I work, I follow my dreams. I know that professionally it all depends on perseverance and perseverance and my desire for realization and I believe that I will be successful. But in personal? Whether I meet the 'right one', when this will happen, is all in the hands of fate. On the one hand, I know that I have good prospects, I am not a model, but I look good, I come from a nice and wealthy family, I myself am ambitious and motivated. From another, all my worries weigh on me.
A few days ago I learned that an acquaintance my age lives with her boyfriend abroad and is expecting a baby. This made me think about myself. I'm thinking of giving myself another 2-3 years to finish and meet the 'right' one and if I don't get together with someone I don't like, but I'm sure he is responsible and would be a good father. I have also thought about artificial insemination, but I realize that it would be selfish to create a child, depriving him of the love and care of a second parent. I look forward to your opinions and advice, and I will ask without condemnation, even if you do not agree with my reasoning. Thanks! I'm thinking of giving myself another 2-3 years to finish and meet the 'right' one and if I don't get together with someone I don't like, but I'm sure he is responsible and would be a good father. I have also thought about artificial insemination, but I realize that it would be selfish to create a child, depriving him of the love and care of a second parent. I look forward to your opinions and advice, and I will ask without condemnation, even if you do not agree with my reasoning. Thanks! I'm thinking of giving myself another 2-3 years to finish and meet the 'right' one and if I don't get together with someone I don't like, but I'm sure he is responsible and would be a good father. I have also thought about artificial insemination, but I realize that it would be selfish to create a child, depriving him of the love and care of a second parent. I look forward to your opinions and advice, and I will ask without condemnation, even if you do not agree with my reasoning. Thanks! even if you do not agree with my reasoning. Thanks! even if you do not agree with my reasoning. Thanks!
Answers 9
I agree with your reasoning, what can I tell you ... Your thinking is quite correct. Now is your best age to give birth, in terms of your body, and if you want that, what's better. Personally, I would help, if necessary :)))))
There is time in front of you, with a child it is not easy. What if later.
Don't worry, it's never too late to become a parent. Because you have to become a parent when you feel ready and responsible to give all the love and upbringing to your child, not under duress, etc. :)
You study abroad, but your reasoning is very naive, inexperienced and shows ignorance of elementary things. At the age of 20 you plan how you give yourself a term of 2-3 years, it was a tradition to be born at the age of 20 and in your family ???? Your mother had 2 miscarriages, but it was SHE and not you. It's like you grew up in a pot. I'm thinking of giving myself another 2-3 years to finish and meet the 'right' one and if I don't get together with someone I don't like, but I'm sure he is responsible and would be a good father. My mother had 2 miscarriages after the age of 30 and gave up. I'm afraid it's not hereditary. What you write is absurd.
Hello, dear girl, It is wonderful that you think about a child, university, career, etc. All this leads me to think that you are a serious and responsible person, but do not rush with family and children. Just because your relatives had children at an early age doesn't mean you have to follow in their footsteps. This is your life and you make decisions about it. You don't have a boyfriend right now, but that doesn't mean you won't meet someone soon. I advise you not to hurry! Let your future partner prove himself to you first and then start a family. It sounds ridiculous to determine the age and time period when you get pregnant - these things happen naturally. It is better to wait longer than to have a child from a man you do not love. Think about the child - he will not grow up in a pleasant environment and in a loving family. You are still very young, do not look at your girlfriends, because the child is a great responsibility, and in combination with education, it will be even harder for you. Take it as completely benevolent advice :)
From these tips you give her, that's why we are in a demographic crisis. Girl, if you listen to them, it will still be early until one day it is too late. Just choose carefully, because the child needs both your love and that of the father. The other important thing is that no matter how much you want a child and enjoy it, remember that it must develop as an independent person. Be careful not to suffocate him with your love or live your life through it.
* Author, relationship, marriage and children can not plan, it's not like university and work! I will repeat, but your reasoning is superficial and naive. You live as if it is the 19th-20th century, as if you are obliged to give birth and start a family. * Everyone can get pregnant normally or with in vitro fertilization, but it is not a question of giving birth to him, but of looking at him with love, in a family with two parents who did not get together for a child, but because they love and are devoted to each other. . * Everyone is destined for luck, the will is in your hands. Get down on the ground, please! Graduate, travel, explore the world, find your job and everything will fall into place. - Mary
Yes, give yourself another 2-3 years.
Never compare yourself to other people. The fact that someone, be it your own mother, gave birth at a certain age should have nothing to do with your decision when to have children. However, if your wish is sincere, then you are not too young at all. I got pregnant at 22 and gave birth at 23 and I can tell you that pregnancy and childbirth (although it hurts inhumanly) affected me very well. Both the body and the psyche. And the doctor who was degenerating told the nurse, "It's another 23 years old, see how her belly came right away." In one day I recovered completely.