I don't know how you got here. I am a 19 year old girl. I fell in love with a man 20 years older. We met quite by accident and as soon as I saw him I felt the attraction to him. The truth is, I'm afraid to let anyone in. I'm afraid of relationships, of intimacy. Maybe this is due to the fact that my father is an alcoholic and I have never had a strong male figure in my life. I am aware that I cannot wash my hands of this fact and blame the circumstances, I just had to grow up very quickly. I have always been more closed, thinking, analyzing. At the same time, I am disobedient, meticulous and painfully sensitive. For as long as I can remember, I have a certain 'ideal' for the man I follow and look for. Well, this man is the complete opposite of everything I ever thought I wanted. The man in question and I became friends for sex. He is also a loner, strange person. He was my first. I tried twice to separate from him, but the passion I feel grows stronger every day. I feel weak, trying to keep the walls around me high. I didn't want to fall in love, it happened without even realizing how. I backed away, we didn't hear from each other for a month, I didn't respond to his messages. I am aware that the problem is in me. I'm flawed - I can't fall in love with a man my age. Out of frivolous passion, this man became my breath. I dream of it every day of God. Everyone. I keep thinking about him. I know I'll screw things up if I reveal my soul to him. I also don't want to end our relationship for sex. I am so confused. I am writing here because I want someone else's point of view, someone to look at the situation as a bystander. What to do? I don't think I have a chance at any serious relationship with him, but I feel more and more attracted with each passing day .. Any opinion will be useful to me. Thanks everyone, in advance !! Love !!
Answers 6
You didn't write anything about the man himself. Is he smart or stupid? Is he a good person or is he bad? Being 20 years older than you doesn't automatically make him a bad person. Of course, if he only uses you for sex, you should definitely end your relationship with him, but you haven't written anything about it. If you think he's a good person, you shouldn't let the big age difference fuck up your relationship.
When you don't have a chance for a serious relationship, drive with the frivolous one. Take care of your uncle, haven't you agreed to be friends for sex? In simple words, the man is a young pussy in the avant-garde and that suits him perfectly. You think about your future - how do you see a man on the verge of old age, for example, at the age of 10?
Isn't he serious? Something can happen. It's weird to be alone at this age, maybe you did well, and you may always wonder what it would be like if ...
You are both single, why not become a couple. You don't say how he feels about you.
Girl, 20 years old. you have no future older than you! Orient yourself to the younger ones.
There is no way to grow up and become experienced without practice. If someone tells you this, know that he is either lying to you or to himself. Indulge in the relationship, and without it it will not last long. And to continue - there are such couples, why not. Things do not happen with violence, and with self-violence. They happen with experience and outliving. Now you are enslaved to some prejudices, ideals, morals, and some nonsense in general. Learn and grow. In 5 years you will be in a different mind. Life is what happens while we make other plans. Just like in your case.