Hello, I am 37 years old, I have been in a relationship with a woman who has a child for half a year. We live in different cities at a distance of 100 km from each other, for the first two months she hid that she had a child, I was sick that she was hiding but I realized that she was afraid of losing me. We see each other very rarely once a month and a half and only in us, I have not been to them yet. She looks after her child who is almost 4 years old and shares that the little one still suffers for his father and that is why he does not introduce us and this is the main reason why we see each other so rarely. Many times I offer to go to her town to see her for her lunch break, but she justifies that after that she will be very sick because of the little time we have seen. She still doesn't share with her parents and brother about me with the excuse that she is confused and that she has time for everything. I fully understand her and I know that for her the child is the most important person in her life, but I'm starting to wonder how long this will last? I want to start a family with this woman, she also wants us to have a child, but at times I suffer a lot, seeing once a month or two is agony for me and I still understand her. I just don't know what to do, I think I can't live without her, but I'm starting to think she has no intentions for me. Thank you!
Answers 28
Well, let's get one settled. ;) Hairlia to be. Dude - get married until she thinks;) Or you;)
To hide that you have a child? !? !! She did not do the right thing, if someone likes and appreciates you as a person, is not selfish and likes children in general, it would not be a problem. M34
How old is she?
After 2 months you found out that she has a child, and after two more you will find out that she has a husband, and maybe she will hide another child in her sleeve ... Like the hitchhikers - you wave a young, beautiful girl, you stop, and the young man also jumps out of the bushes :) Expect a lot more, and all the more pleasant surprises from her!
I don't care that she hid that she had a child so that she wouldn't lose you. Get to know her a little while you fall in love. Then you will be more aware.
Personally, it seems to me that this woman is not sincere and hides a lot more. One hundred kilometers are nothing and you can practically see each other every weekend.
It's complicated because you're not the classic couple, me and you, but rather me, you and your child, which makes things a little different. It's good that you know that for her the child will always come first, but you both need to sit down and decide if you have a chance to build a normal relationship or not. Because we see each other once a month, it's definitely not a normal relationship. So the next time you see each other, just ask her to talk about the future and how she imagines your relationship. And if it turns out that she doesn't look at your relationship the same way you do, accept it. After all, she is first and foremost a mother and, accordingly, at the moment for her the child and his needs are in the first place, but you simply cannot pass without an open conversation.
There's something rotten here, you know! I don't know if it's a marriage, what it is. But it's certainly not a clean job.
As a tip - live together for a few months, see if you will understand each other, because as you describe, you rarely see each other, and at the same time you think about children in a hurry. And the fact that she has a child is not a problem, rather for me the problem is that she avoids you or hides something else, she told you not to come on vacation and so that she does not get nasty, a full excuse. Open your eyes and if she is honest, sincere, good person, mother, housewife, grab her!
Um, you can't live without her, and you're 37.? This woman is much more secretive and obviously hides other things from you! It doesn't inspire confidence in me, and I think there's someone else besides you. Step carefully! F 37
Your relationship is in its infancy and she certainly did the right thing by not sharing about the child. There are so many perverts who can take advantage of her situation as a single mother ... I leave you to imagine the options yourself. The woman made a mistake once and could not meet the first person she met with her family. Take time. He has time for everything. Understand her. Support her. Show that you are a person who can be trusted and other things will sort themselves out. Success!
I don't think he should have hidden, this is a way to catch you, otherwise it couldn't have happened, do you want to be with such a dishonest person? I wouldn't be surprised if she has a husband with this rare sight! Where did you go, aren't there other women, don't score an own goal, because of one thing it's ... no, a large part of your financial resources and free time will go to someone else's child. For example, instead of having three children, you will have two, because you are already ahead with one, instead of having great first years of the relationship (sex, walks, travel), if you know what is with a child, I will tell you: the child is first of all, it obsesses in the morning, all day, in the evening and at night sometimes, you go on vacations and it starts roaring, grumbling, whims, getting sick, go to doctors and hospitals, are you crazy? And a responsible father tells you that!
The fear of how and whether you will marry her child is inevitably great, of course. But that's part of the way she has to go if she really wants to be with you and start a family. Visions once a month for a year, I can not call a relationship. For a real one, the couple must have known each other well enough, one to know what he wants and expects from the other, not to ask on forums. A woman in love would be happy to see her lover in 5 minutes and would not refuse him so many times, provided that he shows desire. I don't see any logic in hiding from her relatives with the excuse that she is confused? !! So either she's comfortable or she doesn't really know what she wants or there's something else you don't know. Do 1-2 experiments - go without telling her, call her, when you are in front of her work or in a restaurant near her. Tell her you had a way there and see how she reacts.
I personally have a theory that a man who has not married for 35 years has a problem. Either he is a whore who is afraid of commitment, or he is an idealist looking for some ideal woman who is only in his dreams, or he is a mold, or he simply cannot communicate with women, he does not know how to approach the dumps, etc.
In how many months will you find out that she has a current husband or another lover, along with you ...
"... but I'm beginning to think she has no intention of me." Author, very likely! A meeting for a month and a half? !! I am convinced that many relationships between people in different countries have more encounters. At 100 km. it is perfectly normal to meet at least three times a week. This one is lying to you very seriously - my opinion!
Number 15 - Fuck your theories, are you perfect huh?
I don't know how you think about children with people you haven't lived with. You don't know each other - it turns out that you've seen each other several times, and everyone can pretend to be as they like once a month and a half. Live with her and the child and then decide if you want to start a family with her. Personally, she is suspicious to me - she hides from the child, she hides from theirs, she doesn't want you to see her ... or she hides something, or she was brought up in some furious patriarchy in which “parents and children are your relatives and love is finds under the road and over the road ”. Why is he hiding you? She is afraid of what the child and her parents will say? Would she leave you if they didn't like you? Why did she divorce her husband? Are her parents the cause? You need to have the answers to these questions in order to be able to adequately assess what kind of product it is and what awaits you if you live with it.
In defense of number 15, I will say that I have one such colleague with a longtime girlfriend whom he does not want to marry. Why? Because his mother told him that he and his father are his family, and love is under the road and over the road and there is no need to marry strangers. They are heard every day, including picking her up at work meetings to explain to her what she is doing with our work terminology (meaning she is giving reports around the clock). He claims that he was very family-oriented and for him this means to mom and dad, not to his wife and future children. Then tell them that there is nothing wrong with such mother's sons who do not want to get married, so as not to cheat on their mother with strangers (nothing that by her logic she is also a stranger and is under the road and over the road).
Number 15, number 18 told you very well and I also join his words. According to your crooked theory, those with marriage are ideal, and others without marriage are wrong somewhere. And how many are divorced !? Very much! Where with children, where without. And how many of those who get married actually have a happy marriage? Not many. Do they feel better than others who are not in a hurry to get under the wreath yet? The ring and a signed piece of paper in the ritual home are not a guarantee of happiness and understanding in life. I am a single man over 35 years old, dating a like-minded working, smart and beautiful woman without marriage. :)
I'm a woman and I'm telling you - drop the trickster, wondering who to sell to! As far as I know such mentors, their goal is one - to shake someone's "legacy" and claim that he is responsible for what another has done. If you're stupid, you're wasting your time!
As long as he hides that he has a child? How much can a 4-year-old child know that his father is gone? Because I was such a child and I only started at 5 and I realize that he is not there. The child is a key moment in a woman's life and to hide it is, to put it mildly, stupid. Your wife tells you. Something tells me she's not alone. Meetings 1 per month are strange. She wanted to tie you up and then "serve" that she had a child. Many women become mothers, but it is good to have interests in addition to their children and other topics of conversation. Otherwise, their life is a big bg mamma mess, and behind conversations only for a child lies the fact that a woman has no interests and intellect. But since in Bulgaria this has become normal for the newcomers - what were they called "moms" no one even dares to tell them, because they are also offensive, except infantile and stupid - most.
Dude, give up. These hide-and-seek games and excuses are ridiculous. I had a similar relationship with a similar woman. The lady is 37 with a child of 4, the father was a beast, he made a lot of it ... I've been hanging around for months, hiding for weeks, making up excuses ... It turned out that he was just spinning a whole bunch of guys ... today with this one, one day with that one. He's just having fun. She didn't pick me up and hide, then she called and ... she loved me. Just don't bother. Such women do not like. They only complain and make sacrifices, but they are ordinary whores, thirsty for gifts, entertainment and sex ... She was very smart, besides being nice-looking, she was also smart and educated. He didn't go to work and posted highly intelligent posts on Facebook all day ... photos. It was offered to the whole world. There was an army of "worshipers" explaining how unique it was, princess, miss universe .... etc etc .... Another failed whore playing ... I would like to be useful to you, but I know you will not listen to anyone. You will build illusions and justify it until you see the bitter truth and the bitter end for yourself. Currently, my ex-girlfriend is alone again with her child, pregnant and ... I strongly doubt that she knows exactly who she is pregnant with ... Such women are inescapable. They cry pitifully and want protection, give hope to a whole team of suitors. They hide and disappear because they don't want anyone to understand that they are meeting several people ... He dumped me because he realized that I can guess what he is doing to them. It just disappeared, evaporated ... The image of a lonely and defenseless woman-mother in need of a serious and responsible man cracked ... She ran away before the truth came out. I know you will not listen to me, let alone believe me, but you will see the bitter truth for yourself. Besides being a liar, she is also an ordinary whore. I say this with regret, because something very beautiful and valuable could have happened between us. At least I want you to know more quickly what it's like to be free. I have no doubts. I am fully aware of what you are dealing with, but you have not experienced it and you will never believe it ... There are women who are not worthy of feelings and attention. Yours is one of them. I hope it doesn't hurt you and then you suffer for months or years ... Good luck. Come to your senses. who are not worthy of feelings and attention. Yours is one of them. I hope it doesn't hurt you and then you suffer for months or years ... Good luck. Come to your senses. who are not worthy of feelings and attention. Yours is one of them. I hope it doesn't hurt you and then you suffer for months or years ... Good luck. Come to your senses.
Don't bother not because she has a child, but because she is a liar. A man who lies and is not sincere always remains so. She grew up in such a family and will always be so. You cannot change such a person. Maybe that's why she's a single mother. Don't bother. At the ideal age to look for a woman already for a family. Tip - NO LUGGAGE. I am 33 years old, married with a child, we are waiting for a second. I know at our age who is divorced - we are 15 girls from my class, only 1 is divorced, which was the biggest "haimana" in school. She slept with half the school plus the physical education teachers. So you have chips to cut so you're divorced at our age. Come on, at 50, you may be tired of blah blah. Besides, in our country it's just that usually the real father doesn't pay alimony or it's funny. You will have to look after / feed someone else's child. A woman who has already separated from the father of her child, remember that she also has high expectations of the man and is ready to separate easily once even the father of the child has eliminated her, usually because of nonsense and everyday life. It is rare to actually be a victim of domestic violence or something like that. Your chances of staying with you are not great. Still, if you were honest with me from the beginning, I would advise you to try, but not like that. A person who is not honest / lying will just waste your time, and now it is important for you to find a woman for a family. ж34 Your chances of staying with you are not great. Still, if you were honest with me from the beginning, I would advise you to try, but not like that. A person who is not honest / lying will just waste your time, and now it is important for you to find a woman for a family. ж34 Your chances of staying with you are not great. Still, if you were honest with me from the beginning, I would advise you to try, but not like that. A person who is not honest / lying will just waste your time, and now it is important for you to find a woman for a family. ж34
Author - do not listen to number 27 - it is a pity that she is a woman, but speaks with such malice about other women and generalizes. If her husband leaves her tomorrow and she cries on the forums about how no one wants her, then I will advise her to read her own comment. On someone else's back and 100 sticks are few. People are divided for a variety of reasons, and just because a woman is left alone with a child does not mean it's her fault. I personally have such a girlfriend - her husband just dumped her because of a younger woman. If I were you, I would sit down and talk seriously with her - tell her that you have serious intentions, you are ready to accept the child and you want to know what she thinks. If he keeps dodging again, it's clear he's hiding something.
From the author: Hello again a month and a half after I posted the topic, I have not been with this woman for two weeks now, her lies were endless. For seven months I listened to How on the first weekend when there is someone to look after her child, we will go somewhere together, but two weeks ago she chose to go somewhere with her colleagues on the weekend. I got angry and started digging in Facebook and I was shocked she had a job with her "ex-husband" and they worked together almost every weekend, the other shocking thing I found was that she does not live 100 km from me but 300 km. At the moment, there is only one wish in my head and that is whether to contact her "ex-husband" to know what she is doing or if it turns out that they are not together at least to know the truth about their separation, because she makes it a complete loser and that he did not support her while her life was in danger. I'm almost sure
At the moment, there is only one wish in my head and that is whether to contact her "ex-husband" to know what she is doing or if it turns out that they are not together at least to know the truth about their separation, because she "If you are often left with the impression that people think you're a fool, show them you can be nasty!" In this "relationship" and several meetings, did you have any intimacy at all? For talking about her husband like that - at least my wife has a similar attitude: I harass her ... So, this one explains to you how bad her "ex" husband is, how nothing works. She explains to him how much she loves him. She also explains to someone else how bad her husband is ... And he had allegedly found the ex.
Author, Don't Film, Dude. Don't investigate this psychic, she will make you "chase" her or "suffocate" her. Number 27 told you super accurately. Liar. If someone lies to you, run with 300 and don't turn around. Hey dude. Are you a masochist? !! What are you digging up the profiles for? You want to make sure it doesn't work? It doesn't work. Don't expose yourself to asking your ex and so on and so forth ... This is an exposition. Miserable work. Don't you have dignity ??? Fuck ... Stop it. There is no point. 28, you are not completely right. 27 is absolutely right. Don't be afraid, if the man dumps her, I will take her :))) I fall in love with a sincere woman instantly, if she wants to have 5 children;) I'm glad she has the right women. I greet you from the bottom of my heart. Author, head up. Fucking motherfucker and crazy motherfucker. You will meet a real woman who will be sincere with you and will love you. It's just not her. She forgot it.