In Search Of Yourself

   Sit down, calm down and read carefully. You have nothing, you are experiencing the most normal thing in the world. I graduated from school two years ago. I am now a sophomore. The first year we all experienced several depressive periods in which existential topics were discussed during the big holidays. I am not antisocial, but I am very selective for the people around me. I can't communicate with everyone, I stick to my environment. I have very small conversations, but I like serious topics about feelings and life. She called me a typical woman, but that's the way it is with me. For this set of reasons, I discussed your topic with most of my colleagues long before you published it. I want to tell you that 80% of students go through nostalgia for the school years. You stand and suddenly all the changes hit you, and you feel like meat in a mincer. I understand it. You find yourself in a new city, a big city. Your traffic comes in more, you don't know the streets, you have no contacts and you study a specialty that you don't seem to understand. The university is not like the school. The apartment / dormitory is not like the home. Being responsible for yourself is not like your mother cooking, washing and cleaning for you. You have a feeling that you know nothing and you can't do anything. Well, that's right. Just as you're not doing great right now, I'm not doing well. Many other people felt the same way. You go through a period of adaptation that even awareness. It sounds easy to say you've paid your bills. When you're left alone and paying your own bills, you realize it's not that simple. You have to make money on these accounts or at least go to withdraw them if they are sent by parents. Then you need to take the time to think about the schedule in advance. Then you get on a bus / car / foot and move to the place where you have to pay. You wait in line, it's your turn. They ask you questions, the first 2-3 times you look like a calf on a train and you can't even assimilate the question. It's bad, that's right. I was the bottom. Believe me, there are rarely such anxious and disoriented individuals as me. For a while I lived in the delusion that only I was so bad. Then I realized that we are a whole group of disoriented students who are still learning how to pay their bills. But, listen to another point of view. Sooner or later you will learn all the everyday things that your parents know. It's better to feel stupid at 19 than to feel stupid at 30. At the age of 19, I called my mother to ask her how soup was made. I could bake and fry, but this soup shortened my life. Something so simple seemed impossible to me. Then I roared, but it wasn't because of the onion. To this day, I laugh out loud at this story, but then it wasn't funny at all. Everyone starts from somewhere. The school years are great, because then you only have the typical dramas of the teen years on your head. We cannot be students all our lives. You can't enroll as a failure in life for a year as a student. It is normal for you to take the time to find your place, and sometimes to feel inexperienced / stupid / funny. Calm down. Some people change 3 specialties until they find their own. You are neither a child nor an adult. What do you expect from yourself? What do you want from yourself? Lower the bar a little. You may have made a mistake with the specialty, but this is not detrimental. Your life will not end, you will not die from this mistake. People enroll in higher education, give up, enroll in other things, and that's not a bad thing. Everyone makes mistakes, and when you are 18-23 years old it is almost mandatory to make a series of funny decisions, which then make you sick. Tighten up and get out of this hole. Go to a psychologist, talk to relatives, read books, train, buy glasses in order to break them in the wall. Do whatever you think will help you come to your senses. Let me tell you, I'm not proud at all, but once I really took a glass, broke it and I was so relieved that I can't describe it to you in words. It was completely infantile, but then my anger passed and I was able to make my decisions adequately and fix my mess. People don't always understand me, but I've learned to understand myself and follow my own path. It doesn't matter what people say, what they think, what they tell you is right for you. You are the MAN. You are the basis in every sentence that relates to your life. If reading helps you, read. If running helps you, run. If you want friends, talk every second. Do what you want and you will succeed. In that case, even if you make a mistake, you will still sit down and congratulate yourself on your courage and move on. You have to be happy with what you have done. If you are not satisfied, do not make the same mistake a second time. If you don't like something right now, change it. If you think it's just a period, go through it. There is no situation without a way out. You are not bad. You didn't kill a person, you didn't steal a car, you didn't participate in a money laundering scheme. You're just 19 years old and it's hard for you ... it can't be easy for you, you're one of the people who thinks a lot. Well, I'm one of them too. There are frivolous people among my acquaintances, they seldom fall into difficult dilemmas and always get back on their feet quickly. We can't all be like them, we are destined to pour water on ourselves. Well, well, we take out the rag, dry it, walk slowly and everything is forgotten. Clarify with yourself, pamper yourself and then make general decisions.

   Find a girlfriend and the world will look different to you. When a person is in love, everything makes sense.

   At 19 you are neither boys nor girls, but MEN and WOMEN.

   As I read your comments, I began to miss those student years: - When the excuse for not working was going to lectures; - When there were real friends and we always found an occasion to go out for a beer - (after an exam, lectures, etc.); - When my parents were healthy and positive people; - When the rooms were cheap and staying in them was pure romance; - When I had time after preparing my lectures, to play on the computer; - When I first discovered horror movies that exist as a genre :) Eh ... children ... And now - pills, depression, surgery, loneliness, working 12 hours a day for a minimum wage with 2 higher educations ... Eh. ..children ...

   Don't worry, friend! Everyone has been through such a period. It's called growth. When you are a student, you can't wait to graduate, to turn blue, to be big and independent, and of course, at some point, your wish comes true. However, you suddenly realize that it is not as good as it seems from the outside. Yes, your mother does not grumble when to go to bed or learn biology, but on the other hand you have to fight with life alone. And then you realize how much easier it was for you before! And you normally get depressed. You'll be fine, calm down. And I don't want to pay you, but it will get worse in the future. Now your main duty is to go to lectures and take care of yourself, and imagine that one day you will have a wife, a child, a mortgage, a job you may not like, payment bills and not to mention more how many responsibilities. So don't blow your breath, well, enjoy the relative freedom you have at the moment. Now you think that you are heavy and sick, and when you turn 35 you will have nostalgia to remember your student years. As for the specialty you are studying, but if you don't like it, now is the time to change it. When you're 19, you're probably in 1st or 2nd year, so you better finish your year and think about how to prepare for the new candidate campaign. And this time, choose wisely, not just "something to have a university degree." so you better end the year and think about how to prepare for the new candidate student campaign. And this time, choose wisely, not just "something to have a university degree." so you better end the year and think about how to prepare for the new candidate student campaign. And this time, choose wisely, not just "something to have a university degree."