Hello, a 31-year-old man writes to you. As can be seen from the title, lately I feel terribly lonely, I don't even find meaning in such a life anymore ... It is true that sometimes a person needs to be alone, but it is also true that a person is a social species by nature and as such, each individual needs a social circle around him. And I don't have it ... I usually live with my brother, but most of the time he's with his girlfriend (which is understandable and I don't blame him for that) and in the evening, when I come back from work, I don't even have anyone to talk to. , to share something of the day, to complain or praise. And then depression hugs me tightly ... I'm not a person who likes noisy, crowded places, but I'm still young and sometimes I want to go out. But I don't even have anyone to go out with on Friday or Saturday night. I know a lot of people, but I would say that I don't have friends in the true sense of the word - I don't even have a single person to whom I feel I can share everything. People rarely look for me and whenever they need something I can give them (I don't mean only material).
At school, I had a company where I was an outsider, the person that others made fun of. My father died when I was 14 ... I know that I am not the only person with such a fate, many people have lost a parent, but I have always been introverted and my father's death closed me even more. I don't talk much, but I can be a very good listener. However, I have no friends who want me even as a listener. My mother, at the cost of a lot of effort, often almost impossible for her, tried to provide the best for me and my brother, so that we didn't miss anything, but I still think that I missed my father's support and advice a lot. I started a new job 4 months ago, because the previous one bothered and strained me a lot, I had pretty good reviews for my current employer, which gave me hope that at least something in my life would change for the better. Alas, these hopes turned out to be in vain - and my current job is quite busy and tense, squeezes my strength and definitely does not make me even a little happier. Of course, there is a woman involved in this whole story. I met her about two years ago and immediately liked her. After I started getting to know her, about a year and a half ago I started falling in love with her. I never told her that ... In the beginning she was looking for me a lot, we talked, we laughed, it was very nice to be together. There was never anything serious between us, but I had a feeling that we can tell each other everything, I began to think more and more often that she was my man, whom I had been looking for so long. But, as it suddenly appeared in my life, so imperceptibly it disappeared ... At one point, for no apparent reason, it stopped looking for me, it greatly reduced the communication between us. I often think that she just used me when she needed me and now - when she doesn't, I don't need her anymore. However, she doesn't want me to believe it ... We haven't communicated in any way for more than 3 months and yet not a day goes by that I don't think about her. This is my story in general ... I'm not handsome, but I think I'm decent looking, I'm tall (most women like tall men), I'm not overweight, I'm slender, I have a good education and a relatively good income. But this loneliness really oppresses me a lot, it kills me little by little ...
I feel used, isolated and rejected by everyone. I no longer know what to do to change that. The worst thing is that I have no one to share everything that torments me, so I am writing it here. I don't think I can get any advice here either, I'm not looking for it, because I don't see how anyone could help me with any specific advice, I just needed to pour out my thoughts and feelings somewhere. The text seems to have become quite long and I thank everyone who took the trouble to read it! that I can get some advice here too, I'm not looking for it, because I don't see how anyone could help me with any specific advice, I just needed to pour out my thoughts and feelings somewhere. The text seems to have become quite long and I thank everyone who took the trouble to read it! that I can get some advice here too, I'm not looking for it, because I don't see how anyone could help me with any specific advice, I just needed to pour out my thoughts and feelings somewhere. The text seems to have become quite long and I thank everyone who took the trouble to read it!
Answers 17
Author, you should have shown the woman in question that you were interested in her. You would lose nothing. She probably backed off because she decided you only liked her as a friend. From what I read, she was obviously not indifferent to you ... be more confident, women do not like indecisive and always hesitant men. Try contacting her. Just ask her how she is, don't be in a hurry to tell her anything at first. If you renew your contacts, tell her how you feel. And the ones they are looking for only when they need to - play them. They are not your friends, but users. You don't need people like that in your life.
You write about the girl that she was looking for you a lot in the beginning and then she stopped looking for you. And in the meantime, were you looking for her or were you always waiting for her initiative to take the first step? Because if you weren't looking for her first, she might have thought you were seeing her just to fill your time with her (and that's not pleasant for a woman at all). She may have thought you weren't seriously interested in her. Look for her. Show initiative. Not everything can come from one side. It has to be mutual. Don't wait and wait, but act and create opportunities for the things you want to happen to you. Success!
I read it ... It's a pity that the site is anonymous .... Otherwise I would be happy to meet and become friends ... At least to have someone to write to and why not go out, but alas ... F28
I'm sorry about the situation you're in. Yes, I have no advice to give you, I will only wish you success in the future Girl, 15
I am a woman with the same story. Work, home and home and work. I am antisocial, my communication is very difficult, I can't relax in front of strangers and that weighs on me. I have no one to share with, no one. I'm tired and I want to change, but how? Where can I start when there is not a single person who can get into my situation, understand me and be by my side, regardless of the fact that I am a social invalid ....
Oh my goodness. I don't write many comments, but in this case I feel obligated. How can you let yourself get here. You are a markedly depressed person and are currently depressed again. People don't look for you because people generally behave that way. I have dozens of friends and acquaintances and if I wait for someone to call, I have to wait. They are looking for me mostly for sex, but this is still the result of a built relationship. Over time, I made sex friendships. Some time ago I didn't have one and since you don't have built-ups, of course you don't want to have sex with anyone. You are looking for love. But how will you find her with this low self-esteem. Tighten up a bit At 31. Don't think like a grandmother, be more relaxed. When one refuses you, the next. This is a process. When you gain experience, things will happen on their own. I'm in a serious relationship and I hit a top womanizer. Do you think that if I had no experience, the most beautiful and the most poisoned in my environment would stop at me. Never. I don't even look perfect. I have cellulite, a few extra pounds, and against the background of so many models and women with perfect figures, I sometimes wonder how he liked me so much at all. He carries me in his arms. Everything happens with experience, time ... you are currently working against yourself.
Sign up for speed dating. These are meetings with people. You have 5 minutes to talk to everyone and if you fall asleep, you exchange phone numbers and see each other. Try a psychologist. I guess you push people away without realizing it. You can work with the psychologist on the problem. Sign up for dancing. Many women go there and every man is seen as a treasure. You will not give up. Everything is fine in this life. Be bolder and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Be grateful for everything you have and be proud of what you have achieved. Success! And write what happened.
Hey, I'm also 31, not that they look good to me because I play sports and I don't have bad habits, but I'll tell you where the key to what you're looking for is. Just do not look for happiness in someone, but enjoy the simple things - that it is sunny, that the sky is blue and the grass is green. Be positive and you will see how people will want to be in your company. If you have a good income, just travel. I travel all the time and have traveled to dozens of countries. This will give you countless topics to talk about and will radically change your relationship with women. I say it from experience, I'm not very handsome, I don't have much material things, because I spend almost everything on experiences and travels, but women, as immodest as it sounds, adore my company, because I'm not limited like 99% of other men who speak. only for his old BMWs and some pub. And before they didn't even notice me to tell you, women love adventure, the unknown and adventurous men. Do you think that a smart woman will prefer the company of an old man who knows only three topics - fitness (although I train), the old BMW and Big Brother or someone who can tell her what is happening in China, Japan, Peru and Brazil for example? You need a start-up "capital" - I personally traveled alone for 1 year, doing all sorts of extreme things like skydiving, ballooning, bungee jumping, paragliding and I was in Asia, Australia and South America, both interesting and inexhaustible topics. for a conversation. Facebook or Instagram (although I don't have Instagram) are also in your favor - I can't think of many cases in which after adding a girl she doesn't write to me almost immediately with a question like - wow, how much do you travel, where are you? was where you want to go, etc.
A "male" story only written by a woman who introduces herself as a "male". I realized long ago that this author is capable of all sorts of creations. She was introduced from the earliest teenager to 30 years old and, as in the case now, enters the role of a man. And why not, you have to make him incapable of a normal relationship with a woman. A 31-year-old man, even if he is really clumsy with women, he will not sit and shed tears in sites like this. Such despair is inherent only in women. And the most "crazy" man can find a company to kill free time. You see, for a woman without male company, her life is very sad, and she can really feel painfully desperate.
Hello :) I am 30 years old. and I'm the same with the difference that I'm a girl and ... I work a lot. I communicate with many colleagues, but only colleagues, and most of them are older and there is no way something can happen. I've dated a few guys, but most consider me a girl for sex, not a relationship. I recommend that you join Facebook groups with similar interests or, for example, if you are a fan of series such as "Game of Thrones" (for example, I am a passionate fan of thrones, and I met 1-2 people, but that's it, nothing more ). Or if you have any other interests and hobbies. If you are looking for someone to hang out with, just say;) I'm there.
The author: 3 months later the situation has not changed much. I try to instill in myself that I am self-sufficient ... But the days pass one after another in loneliness and I don't feel much different than before. On top of that, I often got sick. Two months ago I had an eye infection and I was quite worried that I might lose my sight in one eye. Fortunately, everything seemed to go wrong for now. Even in those moments I felt even more lonely, except for my brother, I had no one else to support me. I love to walk in the mountains - it is extremely calming and somewhat distracts me from negative thoughts. But I'm still alone there, and sometimes I want to share the joy of the walk with someone ... Thank you very much for the comments and support! To number 10: My story is completely real and behind it is a very real person (my grace). The choice of whether to believe in it or not is entirely yours ... Up to numbers 3, 5 and 11: I would also be happy to meet you, but unfortunately the site is anonymous and does not allow it.
Salsa. They will grab you like warm bread!
I am a man a little older than you and it can be said that your story overlaps a lot with mine. It was the same pain for me - loneliness and as if only loneliness. I couldn't think and I didn't want to do anything else because I had no desire for anything. A friend pushed me and I signed up to dance - Salsa, as someone advised you above. Well, I was somewhat pleased because it cheered me up, but my hopes of meeting a girl there quickly evaporated. Some came in pairs (boy and girl), others were engaged, others I did not like, and those who liked me seemed to be a very high ball for me. My biggest problem was the lack of a person to travel to different places, go out in the evening and generally spend time together. Over time, things seemed to start to work out a bit - I started going out with friends from time to time, I started looking for all sorts of groups to join for some group activities, etc., but I didn't get to them. Because I was dealing with everything in parallel and with various applications and dating sites, I came across a girl with whom we went out on a date, we liked each other and now we are still together. I still don't know what will come out and I'm in no hurry to rejoice. My idea was to try to expand your activities outside of working hours and on weekends. Try to meet as many people as possible and if there is an opportunity to go out with them or do some things together. In my experience, it was easier with women than with men, but I never got to the point of mobilizing everyone I could - I met my girlfriend and everything else was left in the background. I also stopped dancing.
Hey, people, and here's a way to meet. It is very simple and you do not break any rules. One of you posted a link to a video on YouTube or ViBox7, which he really liked. The other goes to the same video and there you write everything you want. I, on the other hand, wrote an e-mail at several intervals inside the parliament, and it was sent to me. And the girl found me.
The author: It's me again and nothing has changed for so long. I'm in love again, and it's still not shared. I don't know anymore, I don't find sense ... I feel so invisible ... If I want to grow up to 3 meters in height, people will still not notice me. A simple example - today I sneezed and none of my colleagues even said "Cheers" to me. Yes, I know that these are simple things and I should not draw conclusions from them, but they make me feel even more inconspicuous. I tried to contact some of the women who wrote to me above, but the moderators did not post my comment. I'm thinking of going to the mountains and throwing myself off some high cliff. So at least my semblance of life will end in a place I love.
Author, no matter how difficult it is, if everything foretells that you will be alone for a while, stay. One can really get to know each other, see what is really important to you, whether you have so far pursued the right goal. Believe me, years ago I felt the same way, it was awfully simple, then for the first time I got very drunk, I had no choice but to forget for a moment.
Author, most people are only interested in themselves and how others see them. Don't take it personally. It's difficult, but that's the situation. Find quality literature, a nice bar and go there to read and drink a little whiskey. In time, people will accept you and this is a new social environment, and you will have topics for conversation - literature. He is not necessarily looking for a wife, but for friends and an environment. It's good that I'm not a man ... (((She will appear on her own, calm down, you are young, men become much more interesting at a later stage. Go easy.