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Injured And Cautious Or Disinterested?

By pink13199 July 15, 2020 19 answers Last updated July 15, 2020

Hello, the whole story is as follows - a year ago I met a boy who is 4 years older than me and in the first moment I felt a strong attraction to him, like those moments when you are defeated by the combination of human qualities against you! We met at an event where he was part of the organization. We were constantly watching who was hiding their eyes from whom ... We talked for a while and I had to leave because I live in another city. Later it became clear that we are from the same city.

 

And so in a few months, we saw each other for a few hours at the events he deals with and there we talked when he could, always smiling, friendly and a real gentleman! There were also sudden meetings in which we managed to talk at length and we couldn't stop, some of his friends were surprised how we communicate so much and they can't separate us!

 

He invited me and his friends to a bar, but before that, he had said that he was with them and wanted to see each other and that he would travel and there was no way we could talk, no matter how much he enjoyed it! We don't write to each other regularly, but when we see each other live it's super calm and cozy! He has been very hurt and has been through a lot of things and currently does not want connections because he has decided to dedicate himself to his work and projects and does not want unnecessary drama, although the things he shares on one of the social networks are quite strong, romantic and make you think! I like to see each other live and talk and have a good time and I am in a period when I want to achieve some balance of mine and I understand it! Maybe because we are excited about the same things and this gives me hope for something further positive development!

 

He doesn't pull away by hugging or touching him, sometimes he even holds me in his arms more .. I think he has sympathy, but not great faith.
What can I do ... wait and not press something on him or be bolder and take the step?

How do you feel better? Thanks in advance, Smile :)

Answers 19

1
luna_luuvz answered · July 15, 2020
Take the step. You lose nothing.
2
yeiseq answered · July 15, 2020
It plays you from a distance to prepare to put it on you without being burdened by the consequences of relationships. Wow, I'm hurt, I can't find myself, but I'm a terrible dude, let me put it on you a little, and you can always hope it "changes" for you. There is such a movie as if someone is hurt and doesn't want another person for a week. After that amok, if someone with qualities appears ... it just blows you away. Now ... if someone just shows up ... you play him injured and with the regret card you enter the cave. About what to do depends only on what you expect.
3
sysysweet answered · July 15, 2020
Quite a nasty situation. To stop this torture - stop communicating outside of office. If he asks, tell him directly what the problem is. If he likes you, he'll ask for a connection, if not, he'll keep muttering.
4
derek_meyer answered · July 15, 2020
Up to 2 ... I don't think that's exactly what things look like, because there are others he deals with, I think so and he's never been rude or impudent, he's just more defensive, and we have a relationship somewhere for a year, why to wait so long, so I think he thinks things over and is more withdrawn so as not to get scalded again .. I believe a little in the signs after we always come across by chance or not "there is something :)
5
melikeitxxxx answered · July 15, 2020
It is obvious that 2 has no experience with women, he is annoyed that someone shines on him. It is possible that this version is confusing, but I think he is afraid of you. Quite logically, there will still be a bunch of requirements for it. He runs away from the so-called "mass woman".
6
sofia_river answered · July 15, 2020
He has no real interest. Look for another.
7
camilitasu answered · July 16, 2020
Bro, you make me very happy! As always painfully honest and straightforward! Thank you for writing here! To the author: Make no effort. Drop this one, lie to you, manipulate you and it's not worth it.
8
goodtimes4750 answered · July 16, 2020
Number 2 is right. We have listened to how fainted and bitter a man is to the point of fainting. Women believe in the tale of Beauty and the Beast and how we can change and save a man injured by the world. That he will become his former essence and will be infinitely grateful to us. But this is just a fairy tale. In reality, this is called male manipulation. Both injured and avoided by women, he keeps in touch with you. Whatever he has experienced, once you have known each other for a year, you should have been closer for a long time, even if you are together. He has told you from the very beginning what he does not want, you stubbornly believe in the other. The truth is, he may not want a relationship with you. It is unlikely that if he appears, everyone will pull. He may be nice to him, but he really doesn't want to have a relationship with you. You're wasting your time.
9
chillfeel answered · July 16, 2020
In general, I rarely share an opinion, but here I think he is right.
10
luxius6969 answered · July 17, 2020
As much as I don't like my little brother, he is right and I support him.
11
kim_starx answered · July 17, 2020
Injured, offended, abandoned, oh, poor thing! And another rush to comfort him in her arms and to restore his faith in love! A plot for a Turkish TV series. Eventually, someone will roar abandoned, but it won't be him.
12
dittzyboixxx answered · July 17, 2020
Thanks for the comments, obviously I really have unrealistic expectations, I just think that everyone has some periods and they are affected differently ... but gentlemen are very rare and that attracted me ...
13
lil_crystall answered · July 18, 2020
folks, isn't this your soap opera? What does scald mean, author? If he's not in love, he can't get burned, and he obviously has no serious interest in you. One piece in more or less will not hurt him, he tells you these things so that you do not have hope if you happen to push or have sex. Gentlemen meet when they want to attract you, then when he plays his cards he becomes an average man.
14
daddyy_d answered · July 18, 2020
I'm pretty sure he's afraid of high standards. Many men try to stab each other and not commit because we have financial problems. If you do not have high requirements for it, you will certainly get a good connection.
15
kasandracummz answered · July 18, 2020
I think the man is doing the right thing. If he chased you, you would pull away. So, do not jump to conclusions. If the man is not a little manipulator, he will be a fool. Do you want to deal with fools? The easiest way is to cross out one chance - so you don't risk anything. But ... who plays us, who beats us, right? .. Therefore, these categorical advisers from above are not right. Be patient, don't press him, but give him light targets so that he can trust you that you won't play with him to pump up your ego. In principle, both sides must take equal steps to each other.
16
jennylsteve answered · July 19, 2020
If you ignore it, as some advice, you will surely lose it. He has already fallen and will not fall into the trap a second time. The tactics of outwitting lead to a dead-end - keep that in mind.
17
bannedprincess answered · July 19, 2020
№8, you vomited a bunch of prejudices and prejudices: Both hurt and shunned by women, and kept in touch with you. But that argument! ... That he, being injured, did not swear to become a monk ??? Do you even use your brain for its intended purpose? Obviously, the man did not want to throw himself headlong into the abyss, and if he wanted to, he would be someone. He waits, orients himself in the situation ... - normal.
18
stephanieblu3 answered · July 19, 2020
Author, everyone is a gentleman until he puts you to bed. Then his mask falls off. There is no such thing as a period, it has long passed with you. So you can hope for 3 years for something to happen. There's no point.
19
do_it_hard answered · July 19, 2020
In one of the conversations he had told me to be bolder and to still be smiling and positive, that he was pleasantly surprised by my attitude towards him, but it was summer. Now, in recent, albeit rare, meetings, I have again been respectful and focused. So I think there is some sympathy and I decided to write to you for advice. And from my husband's point of view, the logic was interesting. Thank you most sincerely and looking at most opinions is that it seems pointless, but other supporters, I think I do not expect anything or think so much! Whatever happens, will happen! Thank you for the written opinions and for making your life smile :)
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