Hello, I have a relationship with a man of 4 years. and is 5 years older than me. At the beginning of our relationship, we didn't think we would be so attached to each other. He is my first TRUE love, and so am I. But it bothers me that he used to be a womanizer. He fell in love with different girls every day and treated them terribly. I wonder if at the beginning of our relationship he fell in love again in different while he was with me, he denies of course, but it torments me. He is a completely different person with me, kind, gentle, he tells me that I am different and that is why he has been with me for so many years. He was with the other girls for a week, telling me he didn't like anyone. So at the beginning of our relationship he wrote to girls, but not something to see, but common things. I personally do not like such things and he understood me. Now I very much doubt whether, when we went together he fell in love with different and then stopped or just stopped after seeing that I am different and serious. Do you think people change for the better when they meet the right person? He is out all day and I always have different thoughts in my head ...
Answers 7
Well, yes, it can actually change. Everyone can change, but only if he wants to, only if it really comes from within. However, we can't say anything specific about your friend because we don't know him personally.
It can change for the better. But what does good mean? What you think is right. And why is that? Did he fall in love before and now? These questions torment you. And you think I'm ... and he ... The fact is, he's been with you for 4 years. And he continues to behave well. So he wants to be with you. The question is whether you want to be with him. If you stop being jealous of him for everything and leave him a little freedom, a little personal space. I guarantee he won't dump you. But if you continue with this overwhelming jealousy, he will probably do it.
It does not change. As it was, so it will always be. The moment you turn the carousel of the gray everyday life, you will be consumed by everyday life, it will itch again and you will look for variety outside. First will be the harmless chats, you will be angry, he will be annoyed, he will prefer to talk to another who will not ask him to account, it will be a harmless flirtation, which will imperceptibly be infidelity, about which you may not understand . If you understand, then you are constantly on the alert, and this is not a relationship, but torture. You know from now on that you don't change a person and that bothers you. years, because you have been together recently and you do not part with the good. After another 4-5 years and the resistance, you will understand. Know your price and don't be humiliated to be in a relationship without trust and insecurity.
I am a woman of 32 years. My experience, unfortunately, shows that cooks do NOT change. They lie, pretend, play theater, become familiar ... This is the "change" for them - to hide from their partner what worries her. To learn to hide most of the habits, thoughts and aspects of their personality. Just because a womanizer has fallen in love does not mean that his predatory instincts are asleep. A fairy tale says that "a man is as faithful, as his options" ... That is - if there is a possibility of betrayal, he will change. Individuals with a strong value system are another "beer" ...
He will cheat on you one day. Men are like that. Don't you say you have children? For 4 years, except that you had to be married and have one child. If 2-3 years have passed and there is no development, don't wait until you are 40 and still think about children. For women, the clock is ticking.
We are not married and have no children, but there is still a thrill between us. Thanks for the comments and I hope people change anyway.
Well, everyone always finds his master .... However, do not underestimate the opinions of the people above - who plays his horse and walks in this craft ....