Hello, dear people. I am an 18-year-old girl. I fell madly in love. Trite, but a fact. He was (and still is) severely depressed because of his ex-girlfriend. He is now in better condition than 3-4 months ago, when it was impossible to talk to him. When we talk and he sees me, there is no sign of depression, so I think I can help him overcome it. On the other hand, I don't want to be in her shadow for the rest of my life if he can't forget her. He says that I am the thing that makes him try to be strong, because we are close and we will certainly become more than friends. Please give me advice on what to do, because I really care about it. Thanks in advance! :)
Answers 6
I think you are his hope. Don't kill her!
You can never be sure, but there are two options or you will become very significant or not. These things take time to overcome and when you are not ready it is difficult. If you want it, fight for it, but don't forget to look around in time and see how far you have come, if there is no change you have no place in this relationship.
Tip: Don't bother! This boy is unlikely to truly love you. He will use you and throw you away. Such users are always attacking such kind people. They use them as a soul sponge and when they are relieved - hop, they dump and catch a new girlfriend who they really like. There is not a single "thank you" to receive in return. When you want to help him, make him a friend so that you don't suffer later.
"I don't want to be in her shadow all my life" - what nonsense? !! Such things sometimes take 2 years to get sick, maybe more ... Where are you in a hurry to forget her in 3-4 months? Are you aware at all of the mental traumas, the time to overcome them, the energy blockages they lead to and the ways to release them later? These 2 years are not some ligature or unwinding, but time for the psyche to heal itself. The dumbest thing you can do now is press him in any way. The fact that you revolve around him at all in the period when he has to be alone is a big enough mistake ... you could have waited at least a year with the dumps. But no, for you the young 3-4 months are almost an eternity, "a lifetime". No patience, no consideration, nothing!
My friend married a man who could not forget his former girlfriend. She loved him very much and thought she would help him overcome his suffering with his ex. Unfortunately, they are not happy. He will obviously never forget this woman. He also started drinking. I don't want to scare you, things may not be that complicated for you. Talk to him, find out - why do you want to live with a person who secretly thinks of another ...
Accept that there was another before you who left a mark. My friend had such a strong love before we met. I know about her, we've talked a lot, I see his gaze when he talks about that girl and I know that part of him will always love her. That who has not experienced such feelings, who has not loved at least once, we just have to keep going. That never stopped him from being good to me. He told me that he saw hope, that he was happy, that he was experiencing similar feelings again. He once told me that he had never compared us, that somehow there is a place for every person and two loves cannot be compared because they are never the same. I never forced him to love me or be with me, I never blamed him for his old love and I never pressed him for anything. I have one such memory, so I know it takes time and love. He is strong, he went on and I believe him because I see how he treats me and how emotional he is about our problems, and he doesn't like that type of person. At first I was cautious, I didn't believe it was over, even though it was a long time ago, but many times I was convinced otherwise. I just think it's too early for him to have such strong feelings, and you have to be careful and make sure he doesn't use you to forget.