Hello, dear people, I need advice. I'm not sure anymore that the man I'm married to is my TRUE partner :( Even when we were boyfriends there were moments when I thought very seriously (I doubted) that it was HE. But I kept telling myself that I can't always everything is pink and without thorns, and yet I don't understand why this question of my heart still weighs so much on me - is it HE And isn't it too late to look for his answer :( Well - he's a good man, care for me, respects me, loves me, wants me, helps me with the housework, we have the same moral values, almost nothing refuses me ... you will say the Perfect Man! But - very often it happens that we speak different languages, he he just doesn't understand me, he doesn't anticipate me, he sticks to his opinion and it's hard to convince him otherwise, I don't want to imagine that one day he won't pay attention to our children at all. Lately, I often ask myself which part of it I fell in love with, but I can't find an answer. I have no thrill for him. Maybe our period of falling in love is over and now it's normal to be like that, I don't know. However, I wonder if I REALLY love him. Doesn't a man forgive everything when he loves? !! And I can't forgive and forget so many things ... they just accumulate in my heart. Now that I think about it, I never seem to have had "butterflies in my stomach" because of him, even when we first met. I'm afraid to even think that I have confused the feeling of security with love. And realize it only now? Is it possible? What to do with my life ahead? I no longer want to live in doubt - IS HE or not. Is that love, or is it just not love? Lately, I often wonder which part of it I fell in love with, but I can't find an answer. I have no thrill for him. Maybe our period of falling in love is over and now it's normal to be like that, I don't know. However, I wonder if I REALLY love him. Doesn't a man forgive everything when he loves? !! And I can't forgive and forget so many things ... they just accumulate in my heart. Now that I think about it, I've probably never had "butterflies in my stomach" because of him, even when we first met. I'm afraid to even think that I have confused the feeling of security with love. And realize it only now? Is it possible? What to do with my life ahead? I no longer want to live in doubt - is it HE or not. Is that love, or is it just not love? Lately, I often wonder which part of it I fell in love with, but I can't find an answer. I have no thrill for him. Maybe our period of falling in love is over and now it's normal to be like that, I don't know. However, I wonder if I REALLY love him. Doesn't a man forgive everything when he loves? !! And I can't forgive and forget so many things ... they just accumulate in my heart. Now that I think about it, I've probably never had "butterflies in my stomach" because of him, even when we first met. I'm afraid to even think that I have confused the feeling of security with love. And realize it only now? Is it possible? What to do with my life ahead? I no longer want to live in doubt - is it HE or not. Is that love, or is it just not love? Maybe our period of falling in love is over and now it's normal to be like that, I don't know. However, I wonder if I REALLY love him. Doesn't a man forgive everything when he loves? !! And I can't forgive and forget so many things ... they just accumulate in my heart. Now that I think about it, I never seem to have had "butterflies in my stomach" because of him, even when we first met. I'm afraid to even think that I have confused the feeling of security with love. And realize it only now? Is it possible? What to do with my life ahead? I no longer want to live in doubt - is it HE or not. Is that love, or is it just not love? Maybe our period of falling in love is over and now it's normal to be like that, I don't know. However, I wonder if I REALLY love him. Doesn't a man forgive everything when he loves? !! And I can't forgive and forget so many things ... they just accumulate in my heart. Now that I think about it, I've probably never had "butterflies in my stomach" because of him, even when we first met. I'm afraid to even think that I have confused the feeling of security with love. And realize it only now? Is it possible? What to do with my life ahead? I no longer want to live in doubt - is it HE or not. Is that love, or is it just not love? they just accumulate in my heart. Now that I think about it, I never seem to have had "butterflies in my stomach" because of him, even when we first met. I'm afraid to even think that I have confused the feeling of security with love. And realize it only now? Is it possible? What to do with my life ahead? I no longer want to live in doubt - is it HE or not. Is that love, or is it just not love? they just accumulate in my heart. Now that I think about it, I never seem to have had "butterflies in my stomach" because of him, even when we first met. I'm afraid to even think that I have confused the feeling of security with love. And realize it only now? Is it possible? What to do with my life ahead? I no longer want to live in doubt - is it HE or not. Is that love, or is it just not love?
Answers 6
"Even when we were boyfriends, there were times when I thought very seriously (I doubted)." I'm afraid to even think that I have confused the feeling of security with love. "Author, you made a decision with your mind, not your heart. It's too late to leave. You have responsibilities, children, and at the moment it doesn't matter who your partner was. As for the other things - I can calm you down. Even couples in love often have misunderstandings and problems. It's just part of living with someone. There can never be perfect harmony between two different personalities. Try to understand your husband. I read books about the differences between men and women, because men perceive the matchmaker a little differently, they express themselves differently. I don't believe that my children are cold, it's just that in our society it is not customary for men to take care of very young children in public places. When your children are at least 5-6 years old, then fathers begin to play a greater role as educators. This division of roles in the family is not bad, because only with tsunamis and gunas sometimes it does not work. Good luck and happiness otherwise, author - if you want your husband to understand you, the easiest and fastest way is to first understand yourself and try to understand him. Eva Good luck and happiness otherwise, author - if you want your husband to understand you, the easiest and fastest way is to first understand yourself and try to understand him. Eva Good luck and happiness otherwise, author - if you want your husband to understand you, the easiest and fastest way is to first understand yourself and try to understand him. Eva
Thanks for the comment, Eva! Except we don't have children yet - I'm talking about children in general. That's why I feel uncertain in the future whether it will be so cold with ours as well? !! I read a lot of books about the relationship between men and women, but sometimes it is not so easy to put the theory into practice. However, you are right that I must first understand myself (which is what I am trying to do) in order to be able to understand him as well. The author
Author, I don't know if you realize, but falling in love and love are 2 different things. At first glance, we do not notice in our partner or rather do not attach so much importance to the shortcomings that everyone has. However, falling in love, no matter how long it lasts (from several months to several years), inevitably ends. Then, if it does not grow into love, alienation, indifference, and in some cases even hatred occur. That is why, when a person truly loves, he accepts the other with all his weaknesses and shortcomings (I'm not talking about striking things like breaking, physical violence, etc.). You say you have no thrill for him. Well, it's normal for the passion to fade after years of living together. Create your own comfort, do things you like. Have your hobby, your interests, read books. Besides, to have true love, you must first have true friendship, mutual trust and respect. Pay more attention to the things that connect you and make you happy when you're not fighting. In a family, scandals are necessary from time to time to survive. There is no house without smoke. Overcome difficulties with more patience, suppression of personal ego, mutual forgiveness and gratitude to each other. Say the words "thank you", "forgive", "sorry", "sorry" more often. No one is perfect. Your husband has wonderful qualities, concentrate on them. You make a typical confession about a woman: "he doesn't foresee me" or as some women say: "I give him signs, but he doesn't understand me". Author, we do not understand men by signs and premonitions. We have another psychology. Many women fall right into this trap, namely to rely, that the man will understand them with female intuition. There is no such movie! Be honest with each other, talk, give in, forgive each other. Don't ruin your family. I'm talking seriously! Entering such a film, in which you get into it, will make you feel unhappy and dissatisfied with your marriage, and the step towards its destruction after that is small. If you think that your problems and differences are very deep and accumulated over time, seek help from a family therapist. Take care of your family and leave the ligatures for "butterflies in the stomach" and things like that. Tomorrow, God forbid, someone will appear who supposedly understands you, supposedly supports you, time will pass and you will fall into the same pattern again. But there will be no going back, only pain, suffering, a broken family. Remember that children suffer the most from the madness of their parents! You ask what made you fall in love with him. She answered herself: "Well - he is a good man, he takes care of me, respects me, loves me, wants me, helps me with the housework, we have the same moral values, almost nothing refuses me ..." appreciates the most real thing when you lose it, but it's too late. Finally, I will end with a truth of life. Smart people learn from their mistakes, wise people from the mistakes of others, and stupid people are doomed to repeat the same scenario. I wish you to be one of the wise. Look around you and see how many women and men have ruined their lives because of falling into this very trap of thinking. PROTECT YOUR FAMILY AND HUSBAND. GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD YOU THINK THIS IS NOT YOUR MAN. LOVE IT - LOVE IS ACTION! Smart people learn from their mistakes, wise people from the mistakes of others, and stupid people are doomed to repeat the same scenario. I wish you to be one of the wise. Look around you and see how many women and men have ruined their lives because of falling into this very trap of thinking. PROTECT YOUR FAMILY AND HUSBAND. GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD YOU THINK THIS IS NOT YOUR MAN. LOVE IT - LOVE IS ACTION! Smart people learn from their mistakes, wise people from the mistakes of others, and fools are doomed to repeat the same scenario. I wish you to be one of the wise. Look around you and see how many women and men have ruined their lives because of falling into this very trap of thinking. PROTECT YOUR FAMILY AND HUSBAND. GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD YOU THINK THIS IS NOT YOUR MAN. LOVE IT - LOVE IS ACTION!
If it was HE, you would know the man, and you would not ask yourself this question. Or maybe it's a momentary crisis. However, beauty does not happen by force. TT
Sweetheart, men are straightforward, hints, hints if you do or rely on their intuition to remember are a lost cause. Better, if in doubt, try with someone else, so you will know for yourself what you like and you will be convinced that what you have is best for you.
When you catch him in adultery, you will have no doubts. He thinks soberly and because of some butterflies and insects, he doesn't do nonsense. Separate for a while, at least for a few days otherwise you and he will go crazy. And let me tell you - children are by no means angels. Do you have one or two roaring young children at home, knowing that things are difficult for a man. Not every man knows how to express his love for children / especially when they are very small annoying and snotty /. Personally, I think that motherhood has exhausted you and you need attention because your children take it all away. And they take it from him. If you have an option, go with him for two nights somewhere in a hotel, in a nearby town or hut.