I'm a girl of 18, 12th grade. My best friend and I have had arguments only about small things, but we always get along and we don't have scandals. After all, we are a lion (I) and a scorpion (she), so there is opposition to two strong characters. However, we have always been one behind the other, these are 5 years of friendship and countless moments - both good and bad, always shared. I love her like a sister I don't have! Recently, however, she erupted against me for something very stupid, for which I do not feel guilty at all, but she is trying to impute to me. Here's what exactly. She liked a boy and told me about him shortly before the holidays. He told me who he was and I know what kind of product the boy is, some kind of downloader. He looks good and polite, but he makes sweet eyes on absolutely every girl to raise his ego. He had written to me a few months ago. Romantic words compliments. I realized that he wrote to at least 5 others at the same time. We live in a medium-sized city, so most of us know each other. Last week, after the holidays, I decided to warn her. I showed her the chat with him. I said what I think about it and my opinion of it in general, so that it does not sink seriously. Instead of accepting this, she thought I was nervous. She accused me of being tactless in showing her a chat with someone she had feelings for, and that in this way I had killed my complexes on her, compared myself, and tried to make her sad. Bullshit! I told her she didn't know what they were blabbering on about, and I was just being honest, and she told me that if I cared, I would have shown her the chat as soon as she told me, not just now, and I almost did. just to upset her. She removed things from our rank quite ostentatiously and moved to another alone, on purpose. I thought it was a temporary insanity and I apologized, I called her after school, but she didn't pick up and didn't answer, but she looked at my messages in vain. For a whole week, I'll see what happens today. One is empty and restless without her. But where is my fault? And no, before you think she's jealous, she's not. It's just that she's always of the opinion that everyone is against her and gets into dramas, but she was bullied as a child by classmates and that's why. I don't envy either. But I don't realize WHY get angry about such an illogical thing and how can I get it back? This is an 18-year-old girl, I don't know why she makes a scene for me for such nonsense. He could just say, "I wasn't happy he showed me the chat." So to be honest, I'm intolerant, and if I had kept quiet, I would have been a liar.
Answers 14
Don't apologize to her. So you kind of admit that you're guilty and she's right, she's not. You did what you could, from now on leave her, if she realizes, she'll look for you. Don't be humiliated to look for her anymore. If she could not understand the service you are doing, it is her problem. Let her sip the boy's potpourri and find out for herself what you mean.
I think YOU are right
Because she saw a chat about the boy she likes taking down her best friend. I have such a friend as yours, sorry I HAD * such loads and I don't need heart, I'm better off alone.
See. Don't take it personally. This is about her, not you. And she's not even mad at you. There are just people who do not want to get out of their delusions. This is their choice! You also chose and acted honestly and frankly. Be proud! And her? Leave her. Do not explain and apologize - for nothing. You are not at one stage. If you "catch up", you will still be together. But remember - often early friendships do not last and people move away. They just go in different directions. But it's not sad! Then we have a chance to meet people with whom we can enrich each other. I met my best friend in her mid-20s. We both have families and we don't "suffocate", but we have a relationship I don't have with another person! I am talking about true and pure friendly Love! Smile! :) Ж32
In your place, I would do exactly the same. I understand you very well. You hold on to this friend of yours, you want to protect her. You did very well to show her the chat. If you hadn't done so, you would be complicit in this downloader's games. I guess you've already explained to her that he wrote to you, he called you, and you just want to open her eyes, because love always blinds you. Give her some time. Maybe he should rethink things. I understand that you are offended and you feel that at the moment her attitude towards you is unfair, but do not explode, do not show that you are angry. Because that will only make things worse. She'll think you're doing her a disservice. Be kind and be willing to listen to her. I hope that things will get better between you. Write when there is a denouement. I wish you to get along very soon!
You really acted unethically. You showed private, intimate correspondence to a third party. Your action is tactless, what does it matter if he took you down half a year ago? Isn't it trying to work for you at the same time? Your behavior is obsessive, allow your friends to make their own decisions. Grandpa Torbalan
And why didn't you tell her right now with the chat, and you waited so long? I think it hurt her. She's probably insecure about herself, and so she felt sorry for seeing you talk to you about this boy for so long, and suddenly you show her how he took you down - if she's complex and insecure, she's felt humiliated. And the scorpions are spiteful, so she may have played you forever.
There is no need to apologize. F, 26
Author: Today the drama continued. I had to chase her to talk because she spent Monday and Tuesday in the other office and didn't want to talk to me. I explained to her that I had shown her the chat so that she would have one thing in mind and protect her, not stop her. She started shouting at me that I was narcissistic and I wanted to lower her self-esteem, otherwise I would have shown things in a softer way and I was complex. Her words hurt me a lot, but I apologized again. In the end, she told me that she needed time to think about the situation, she felt betrayed. Thanks for the comments otherwise, waiting for more advice! I don't want to lose her.
Grandpa Torbalane, what are you calling now unprepared ??? Ethical, unethical, what is ethical, to keep silent that you know a person like a stripper or to say to yourself, and who wants to fuck his head?
9, now enlightened me. Judging by your comment, I understand that the thing that really irritated her is that she thinks you're trying to make the boy a complete murderer, and so it turns out that no decent boy will look at her, only murderers. This intervention of yours obviously looks like that in her eyes and it is obviously quite complex. I don't think she would have a good friendship with such a person, and no matter how much it hurts, leave her alone. If he realizes and looks for you, well, if not - even better. You don't need such a "girlfriend" who will whine and be affected by every second word you say.
He projects his own feelings on you: "complex" so on. She obviously feels less attractive around you, and that has completely nailed her. It will poison you every time it feels that way. I don't know if you need such a girlfriend ...
It's obvious why you're angry. You show her that this boy has shown interest in you. And apparently he hasn't counted her yet. And at the moment she feels ugly, uninteresting and so on. In reality, in time, she will realize that she is not angry with you, but rather that she has become naughty, that they have taken you down. Leave it, it will pass at some point. And if she's waiting for you to drag her after her ... let me have your girlfriend too. You didn't do anything wrong. Only in these years, you do not realize that people are trying to help you, but you accept it as a personal attack. Find other people to hang out with. She will come alone to your door.
The author: Yesterday we went out and got better. She thought I was comparing myself to her, and most of you were right. But she's not a bad person, and I don't think she's guilty. I am glad that we are in a wonderful relationship again and I will be careful how I present such things to her. Thank you very much! This week has been difficult for me, and so has last.