Hello! I am writing to you with the expectation that you will not attack and judge me, but help me, who still wants, because the site is for help. I hope someone is competent, ie has experienced it. So ... Not long ago I met a wonderful man, perfect for me, but ... he is married. No wonder, but I had no plans with him, after a few longer meetings and outings I began to fall in love, I began to feel attracted to him. But still - he is married and in addition to what is written - he has a child. They are young as a family, but the difference in my age with him is big wherever you look. We have sex, I dare say I'm in love with him, but I don't know about him. He doesn't just look for me for sex, he looks for me all the time and loves the things that remind him of me, obviously. I arouse him easily. My question is- Do you think there is any danger of breaking up with his wife, because it's as if that's where things are going, she doesn't know, but she's been guessing for months and arguing ... so, is there a danger that he and his wife will separate and he will prefer me And if so, what do you think is the possibility?
Answers 19
Statistically, only 10% of divorces in Western Europe (there is no study for Bulgaria) are due to a mistress. 70% of divorces are initiated by the woman. The chances of him requesting a divorce are very small. Even after such a divorce, only 1% of men stay with their mistress ... this is a great ordeal that not every relationship can withstand. In short - the probability of a common future is small ... BUT, there is always one BUT - this does not mean that there is no such possibility. I myself am an example of this - I am married to such a man who divorced to marry me. The important thing is that the marriage itself has problems and the married people do not love each other for years - then your chance is great. The unhappy husband does not stay long with his wife even if he does not have a mistress. Don't force things. Just let them happen and don't rush the ultimatum. First be sure yourself, that you want to be with this man, then say "She or I." Now focus on the more important things in life - education, career, good job. Time will tell how things will turn out with this man. Good luck
to the question “is it possible?” the answer is “yes, it is possible”. another issue is that it is unlikely. number 1 is right, don't force things, let time show if this man is for you or not. but still don't wait too long. if the relationship becomes monotonous, does not develop, leave it.
but I had no plans with him, after a few longer meetings and outings I started to fall in love, Why on earth did you start dating him, even if you admit that you are in love after you knew he was married, every respectful woman yourself, will not allow you to become someone's mistress, that even the most brazenly ask us if he will divorce. Woman, take your mind and you're gone, aren't you a little ashamed that you can break someone's family with a child? Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying that only she will be to blame for their separation, he as a man should be responsible to his family, but you will be the main reason for their separation. Why are there people who marry someone and then cheat on them, are the problems with lovers solved? I sincerely hope this man gives up on you, takes care of his family, I very much doubt that you can be happy with him. Very few men prefer their lovers to their wives, I think he only uses them.
Let me just ask you informatively - is this your first time visiting this site and in general have you never heard of stories like yours? Yes, he would dump his wife and he would prefer you ... until the next one. If this step is decided at all (because infidelity can be a strong point for men, but making such difficult and fateful decisions - no). Nothing written at all tends to be in your favor, and in general nothing distinguishes you from the type of women I call in one naughty word. I don't know why you decided or thought that because of you the man would abandon his wife and child. Do you know that I work in a rather large office building, where the boss of a company has been in a relationship with his secretary for 2 years. It's no secret, they constantly move together, travel, etc. His wife is an incredibly beautiful, intelligent and classy woman, with a business no smaller than his own (respectively, he can't stand it because of his money). She loves him, he loves her too (I know this from their close family friend), the man just has a complex, they are both in their 40s and maybe he wants to prove himself in the eyes of his young secretary. And I know that he treats her very well, and we bystanders see him, but the man is just a classic in the genre - a wife and later a younger mistress. And she believes that once it is known, he will dump his wife and their child, but that will not happen. Stories like yours are written daily, some of which are more colorful. But for 99% of them, the ending is usually the same - tragic for the "other woman". Think about this word "the other" and you will find much more than you think. You are different for everything, no matter that you have sex with him. And how he will enchant you and how he will turn things around so that you think that "there was a danger of leaving his family" only he knows how to do it.
I don't think you have a chance. Seek your happiness elsewhere.
You say there is danger. Since you're afraid of getting divorced, why are you pushing there. The age difference was big, and the sex was great. However, I couldn't figure out if you wanted him to divorce and be together, or just like sex. What will happen to the child? Will you take care of him when he is with his father? Apparently not, because for you his father is just sex. In my opinion, you are an unscrupulous woman who doesn't care about having sex. What about thinking?
From Atora: To numbers 4 and 7- I do not enter the site for the first time. Do not judge if I am a woman without scruples, do not judge my actions, because you do not know my motives! I asked for advice, but if you can't be helpful with it - don't try, I'm judging my actions enough, even though I have reasons to do it. I went out with him because I was free, and he was on vacation, his wife at work - boredom in general. We went out for a drink and he's not the first man I go out to talk to. I came out with pure intentions, but I fell in love after a few meetings ... And about whether I'm afraid that I will ruin someone's family - if the woman was not neglected everywhere, if she did not make scandals only and if she did not constantly deny him sex, yes, then I would be careful with my actions, but he himself told me how she has been neglected since they had a child, how many scandals she raises, she doesn't let him breathe and refuses him sex. Therefore, I do not feel guilty, I can not keep a man like that. Especially when she realizes that he has a mistress, she should be more careful and catch his attention, not raise more scandals. I want him to prefer me to be with him, and I don't feel sorry for his wife, she is to blame ... THE ONLY thing that makes me feel guilty is that she has a CHILD. I only see him as a factor. Thanks to the others :) what makes me feel guilty is that there is a CHILD. I only see him as a factor. Thanks to the others :) what makes me feel guilty is that there is a CHILD. I only see him as a factor. Thanks to the others :)
If he really prefers you to her and the child and is such a daredevil - there is a possibility. But if it is not like that at all - there is no probability !!! But look, it's a different matter if his wife finds out about you and prefers her freedom to her husband. Then she won't, her husband will run to you.
Even if what you want happens, you will still not be happy. Then suddenly you will start looking for some things that are taboo. In fact, I won't be surprised if this currently impossible-shared and devoted "relationship" attracts you so much, not the person himself. Of course, your questions are stupid enough to be answered: Will you part with them? - Time will tell. But does he love me? - Probably his wife also claimed that he loves. But will we be together? - How long, until when, is it known, isn't it known ... But is that what I want? - Do you know what kind of fly will enter your head tomorrow, it is rather known, although it is relative. I have always given you answers about labile and fickle people, as I think you are.
Hey, women are insatiable, selfish beings. How can you ruin a family, at least if you were just an adulteress, and you ruin a family, it will weigh you down for the rest of your life, leaving one mother and one child, alone and without a father. Be happy with this thought, all your life, it will shine on you a lot.
from №7- It is natural for men to spit on their wives to put the other in bed. You may have heard people say - the first donkey, the second queen. What does neglected mean? It is very easy to listen to one side and draw conclusions. I'm not judging you, author. It is God who will judge you.
Why do you fall victim to such selfish users? He will make a parallel relationship with you, postponing the separation from his wife until he can, your years will flow, at some point he will turn to another naive person and so on. Don't sacrifice your youth and life with such people - once they get there, to lie to their wives and risk their families, they will do the same to you.
Author, this man can tell you many things to get you in his bed, many men take down stars in front of married women, but few men tell the truth. I doubt that's the way it is. I wonder a lot when men have time to date other women without their wives knowing. Instead of dealing with this man, don't you have another occupation?
FROM THE AUTHOR: I have an occupation - I study medicine at Sofia University as a forensic doctor and I think that I am not a hypocrite and what else did you call me. At least for these years in this world I learned to read and write, if nothing else ... I asked without emotional outbursts, the site is not for criticism, I said that I do not need one, I asked for advice if something would happen and if so possible according to you how much! I care about my career, my friends and my family. I take men as a joke, unless they prove that the given individuals can be serious. I rarely like someone, and when I like them, it's strong for a long time. I respect your opinion that I am easy, unscrupulous, pathetic and what not. I didn't go out to dinner with this man to go to bed with him afterwards, but to meet someone and I didn't pretend to be a woman or a man or a child ... I'm just lonely and I wanted to talk to someone. This, that this is the case is a completely different matter that cannot be criticized by people who have no idea. I have offered so much information that you can understand what it is about and the answer to which question I expect from you. There are many details that are not clarified, but I do not think I will clarify them because they are between us. I asked for an opinion, not a critique. Thanks to everyone who answered, no matter how. As for No. 13, I'm an atheist. My views are based on science and if I believe in anything, it is my own strengths and feelings. For me, God is a fabrication of weak people who have nothing to rely on and someone to trust, people who have no one to blame or have, but do not want to blame themselves for their own mistakes, and in good times they are also so weak to say that THEY have achieved something ... Anyway. Maybe I'll get what I deserve in some way, but let's not interfere. Who can be useful on the issue, let me try. And as I said - the profession is important to me at this stage, and men not so much, but to get to a site for revelations, in which I never asked questions, but only gave answers and advice, so there is something that excites me . What excites me is that for the first time in years, but I've been falling in love for years and I have an awful lot of suitors, which I'm not proud of, because there's no point in having them when they don't make you happy, and these suitors don't do it at all. I see them. For the first time I feel what I feel for the married guy X and it made me think why him, what would be our chances, etc ... many things. I will NOT leave the child without a mother, I will not allow it. And no,
I will write to you as a child of divorced parents. Our people cheated on each other ... My father was constantly texting other women while my mother was in the same room. Of course, she finally understood. They fought a lot. I can't tell you how I felt. It was awful. And now, as I write to you, I'm crying. It doesn't matter that 4 years have passed, it still sucks. At first I think about suicides, running away from home and other stupid things. I was strong because I've been used to nasty things since I was little, I didn't do this nonsense. But won't this child do it ?? Put yourself in his place. How will you feel? If you have at least a little soul, I think you will think about the child and talk to this man, telling him what you felt yourself, putting yourself in the child's place (if you did). You better look for love elsewhere. He has already started a family, don't fail him.
I have a job - I study medicine at Sofia University as a forensic doctor and I think - Most people with this profession, while studying and stopping, leave love in the background, because this profession is one of the most difficult. But I don't think anything good will happen to this man.
All adulterers (both men and women) to justify their heinous betrayal present their own husband / wife as bad / bad, present their marriage as hopeless, believe that they have reasons and excuses for their adultery. Usually when they start their affair, the adulterers try to tarnish their legal partner in front of the lover and present the smallest flaws in such a horrible way that people start to sympathize with him / her and even justify his / her actions. When a family is destroyed due to such an affair, the adulterers pour sludge and mud on their victims with even greater fervor. I have experienced it on my back and I know what it is about. I am a man of 30 years and what you lovers are doing is cruel and inhuman. You break up families, make children cry and believe it or not one day you will be responsible for everything! Think of the innocent children's eyes and the tears in them caused by your instincts and your immoral actions! If nothing else, at least for the sake of the children, move and stop! If you don't think about your boyfriend's husband / wife, then think about the children, because they are not guilty of anything. Even if a marriage is in a severe crisis, it can be saved, but infidelity kills it.
... Everything that I see or hear in the performance of my profession or outside it, and that should not be told, I will keep it a secret and consider it sacred. This is part of the Hippocratic Oath. But oaths are one thing and actions are another. What normal mother would give her child to another woman to be looked after by her mistress. What to think ...
№19, so you will foam until the moment when you do not fall into the situation of "all adulterers and abominable traitors"! Then you will sing the same enthusiastic song, but with the opposite sign! As a final result - if you have a mind in your head, you will learn NOT to JUDGE PEOPLE, because you do not know at all who cares - what handles him from the inside and harasses him to act anyway ... Remember my word!