Is it so wrong to be really sensitive? I've been depressed for a few years, no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to get rid of it, I can't, I just can't. I behave normally, I please everyone, my boyfriend, my parents, my friends, I do what is required of me just so that everything is fine. And again, nothing is wrong, again, in the end I am guilty, I am "lying", "roaring", etc. I am afraid to show my feelings, I am afraid that I will be judged for them. They judge me for everything ... and everyone. No one is ever happy with me ... I want to run away, can't a psychologist help me ... I don't know what to do. I want to have enough money to get away without anyone knowing, I want to be alone when no one appreciates me. No one has ever been able to appreciate me, to appreciate what I do, how much I give myself to everything and everyone, I try my best to keep everything right and still I don't do things right. Whatever I do is still not enough ... I made mistakes that I regret and probably that's why it comes back to me, from 10th to 11th grade until now (19 years old) I'm not on my own, I fall into very serious depressive states and I can't get rid of. I cry all the time, everyone hurts me with their words and actions, involuntarily or not - that's right. And when I want to share, he responds with "ligla, roar, you're filming" and all their randomness. I don't socialize, I always try to be an outsider wherever I go. I'm afraid of what they will tell me about my appearance or something in general. I adore my dog, which I know is nothing new, but only she has never judged me for anything ... she loves me the way I am, and everyone else, even my family wants me to be different. Even they hurt me, even they insult me sometimes, they underestimate me. When I was a teenager, they constantly called me, my mother and her husband, scolded me for everything, shouted at me and insulted me, called me stupid, fat, stupid, etc. Over time, they stopped, now they behave a little more adequately. . That affected me, I know. And not only that, things from my childhood too. I know this because I have nightmares and dreams related to this and I am afraid, I just want peace and harmony with myself. These memories of both my childhood and adolescence constantly pop into my head every time I am angry / sad, thoughts come to me and I can't get rid of them, I feel very sad ... why did they have to insult me? Why did they have to hurt me like that with their words? My own family ... I love them very much, but I can never forget that. To this day I hide and do not dare to show my feelings, I hide somewhere so that I can cry without anyone seeing and judging me. Even if I'm crying, what can I do? Sometimes I can't stand it, people are cruel and don't understand me. I'm already holding back ... I'm not doing it in front of anyone and so they think that everything is okay and nothing has happened. But it's not like that, with each passing day I get into an even bigger hole .. I smile forcibly, laugh and please everyone by force .. I can't do that anymore, I need help. I feel like everyone is making fun of me behind my back and saying bad things about me because of it. I'm hiding behind a mask, but in reality I'm a roaringly depressed nothing. One nothing that just wants to have love and understanding, one nothing that wants a little attention and respect from their loved ones. They're not bad people, they just don't understand me, no one ever understood me ... and that's why I'm sorry, maybe the problem is in me, maybe I'm really lying and I don't deserve anything and no attention ... maybe it's true, I don't know ... I can't escape, I don't have money. If I had I would go as far as possible from everyone ... I need help, advice, a strong word, just some ray of hope that I will not die of depression and snot ... just so I pray .. for a little hope and attention
Answers 11
If you want an honest answer - yes ... It was worse for me because I was a boy, and it's even worse. But our people didn't treat me so badly, I just felt disappointed that I was like that, because they know that such people are not successful in life. You just understand that in this life, what you possess is quoted as negative qualities. Here you have to be impudent, unceremonious, look for interest, make money, be "popular". I have not been a slut or a roar, but I am seldom smiling, and always thinking of something that has affected me unpleasantly, whether directly related to me or more generally. I felt obligated to pretend to be happy and just "live my life," whatever that means. In the end, I broke expectations and made enough money to get away from everyone ... It's hard to isolate yourself, it's not very healthy, but if we have to compare it to living in a toxic environment, it's still better. I gave up looking for understanding and tried, albeit a little, to communicate at the level of other people's understanding. You have to understand that many of these people have become this in order to survive. In time, you too will accumulate hostility, awaken your instinct for self-preservation, and block to some extent the excessive sensitivity, empathy, you will close yourself and push even your true self out of yourself. Which is positive ... Until you have dulled yourself, you have the chance to realize the true face of this world. As much as everyone wants to be born in the most beautiful of all worlds, sometimes this is not the case ... to communicate at the level of other people's understanding. You have to understand that many of these people have become this in order to survive. In time, you too will accumulate hostility, awaken your instinct for self-preservation, and block to some extent the excessive sensitivity, empathy, you will close yourself and push even your true self out of yourself. Which is positive ... Until you have dulled yourself, you have the chance to realize the true face of this world. As much as everyone wants to be born in the most beautiful of all worlds, sometimes this is not the case ... to communicate at the level of other people's understanding. You have to understand that many of these people have become this in order to survive. In time, you too will accumulate resentment, awaken your instinct for self-preservation, and block to some extent the excessive sensitivity, empathy, you will close yourself and push out even your true nature. Which is positive ... Until you have dulled yourself, you have the chance to realize the true face of this world. As much as everyone wants to be born in the most beautiful of all worlds, sometimes this is not the case ... you will shut up and push out even your true self. Which is positive ... Until you have dulled yourself, you have the chance to realize the true face of this world. As much as everyone wants to be born in the most beautiful of all worlds, sometimes this is not the case ... you will shut up and push out even your true self. Which is positive ... Until you have dulled yourself, you have the chance to realize the true face of this world. As much as everyone wants to be born in the most beautiful of all worlds, sometimes this is not the case ...
Well, it's not "wrong", but as you can see, it's very painful. Being "very sensitive" in Bulgarian means that your ego is very big and you can't break it. You take things too personally, and at the same time, somehow without feeling alone, you consider yourself to be something very significant, valuable, perfect, almost the center of the universe, and hence your disappointments from others. Do you want to have a lot of money? Everyone wants ... And what did you do to achieve it? Do you just "please" everyone around you? It doesn't happen that way ... Not to mention that the constant pushing and offering makes people think that you don't have any personal desires, interests and claims, and your biggest dream is to serve them. And that's how they treat you. Do you want to be appreciated? And who did you evaluate? And in general, to be appreciated, he has to invent and do something himself. Something for others to slap on the forehead and say to themselves, "Hey, thank goodness! How come we haven't thought of it before?" Otherwise, indulging and serving others is perceived by them only as help, not as something that should be appreciated. Do you judge the janitor for sweeping the stairs? Or the garbage man for dragging the dirty and smelly buckets to the truck and then putting them back? Naptiv - you probably even look at them with contempt, for the fact that they have not studied and have not found a better job ... Psychologist? Maybe a person like you should be thrown somewhere in Africa, without clothes, food and running water. To fight for a year or two for his purely physical survival. To learn to be grateful for every new day he is alive. Learn to work alongside other people against hunger and the elements. This will drive out all your "devils". Otherwise, your depression will get worse. For the things you do, you expect rewards that you will never receive. The moment you realize that you are nothing more than the most fallen tramp, and that no one owes you anything but kicks in the ass, then maybe some process of improvement will begin ...
There was a similar topic some time ago and the author was advised to retire to a convent. I don't know if you'll like it, but I think it'll be fine in your case. You don't need money - they provide everything for a modest life. You're 19, so you don't need parental permission. Just decide where, go and share with the abbess of the chosen monastery what you want. Success!
I have a very simple cure for you - stop pleasing everyone and stop getting excited about their opinion of you. You are the most important. When you're 19, get out, if you haven't already, and get them one. They insult and crush you, and you love them and want to please them. That's enough, you don't owe them anything. If they hurt, stay away from them - you have every right. The worst thing in this world is to please everyone and think that their opinion is more important than their own. Tomorrow, when you have a family, how will you break up - with mom and dad, with your husband, with the children, at work? When I look at how they treat you, you parents can immediately delete them from the list and see them 1-2 times a year.
3, Come on, enough nonsense, it's still a teenager, save your nonsense at least for the children ... Nowadays there is nothing sacred, everything is so corrupt, at most to make her a maid to sweep a tourist site ... I if I could, I would become a monk, but the reality is that there is no place for such in modern life ... 4, It's easy to say, but if your nature is to be an empath, it's not that easy. It's like making an egoist act alturistically ... It doesn't work. Loneliness is the only solution, unfortunately, or more practically - limiting the people you communicate with. If they don't influence you well, if they are selfish - out, and get well .., Look for an environment that suits you, no matter how difficult ...
Thanks for 1, 4 and 5! I really felt better after your support, albeit anonymous and virtual! I feel calmer knowing that there are people who understand. :) Thanks again! A 2 I will not comment at all, complete nonsense, but I do not intend to explain to an anonymous, stranger and explain how wrong you are in your assessment of me. Thanks for the feedback though. Number 3, the monastery is not a suitable option for me at all. I am of the opinion of number 5 on the issue.
Number 4 gave you the most useful advice. Find a job and act. You don't have to show how sensitive you are because of people like number 2, because they get charged by it. Think now: do you want people like number 2 to charge thanks to you? Meet new people actively.
It's not at all a question of whether it's wrong or not, you put your problem very stupidly. It is NOT healthy - neither for you, nor for those around you. You didn't like №2's comment, but he / she says a lot of true things there.
Exactly number 2 hit right in the top ten, no matter how much you don't like it. Precisely because you have a very large and "sensitive" ego, you reject the simple fact that the problem is in you, in your low self-esteem, in your attitude of sacrifice, and in your expectations that others owe you when you please them. Indulgence is a kind of manipulation, so you think you will get good treatment and even love, but it does not happen. Pleasing everyone, it is as if you are publicly declaring that you do not have a gram of self-esteem and, accordingly, those around you do not respect you. There is no way to respect someone who does not value and respect himself. The truth is that no one owes you anything, and if you understand and accept it, then things may change.
number 2, I catch that while you wrote this comment, your member was erect. In the sense of "except assholes." And if you're a woman, I suspect you're a cleaner who's ashamed of her job, and you think everyone looks at you with contempt because you haven't studied and you haven't found better work. Well, that's in your head, sorry. number 2, go to Africa to solve your personal problems and do not allow yourself to vent your anger on fragile 19-year-old souls, because there is nothing lower than crushing the weaker ones. Of course you said the right things, but you could have said them the way number 4 said them - tactically and culturally.
Dear girl, it strikes me that you have become a "comfortable person". Nowadays, everyone quickly gets used to the amenities, takes them for granted and does not appreciate them. My advice to you is to stop this behavior of yours - clearly express your opinion and wishes. Love yourself and accept that you deserve good treatment and the right to a normal life. Do something to feel good in your own skin and go fight life. Darcy