Is It Worth Forgiving Him?

Hi, I have a 3 year relationship I am 18 years old. However, not quite normal. To start from the beginning ... before the beginning of the relationship he caused me a lot of problems, he threatened me with 2 words, I started with him by force. However, after a while I became attached to him. And for the first 2-3 months everything was normal. Then the problems started, he was very jealous of me, he limited me from almost everything, I ended my relationship with all my friends, I had no personal life. I spent every second with him. I even neglected my parents because of him. They constantly warned me that the worst would happen, but I did not listen to them and lost their trust completely. Many times we broke up, he went abroad a few times to theirs even now he's there, and he makes scary movies for me while he's there. Only to be happy, I agreed not to leave the house for 5-6 months. I thought of his happiness before mine because I loved him so much. However, he constantly judged me for my past, accused me of things I had not done, I could not justify myself with anything, even though I had evidence, because he did not believe me. We argued about it constantly almost every day and it came to the point that I finally ruined my health (fear neurosis) and I am currently consulting a psychiatrist (I have fainted many times because of his nonsense). 4 months ago he did not reflect me at all, I prayed to him like a dog, to be everything as before. It didn't bother me so much that I begged him for a little attention. He allowed himself to do so because he knew that I would always return to him, as I had done many times, and he believed that the end would never come. I kept telling him that everything was coming back and that day would come when I wouldn't care, and he will pray. "He didn't take it seriously. To this day, I've caught him many times (in infidelity), but no matter how much we fought, I kept quiet in the end because he somehow got away with it and turned things around in such a way that even I ended up guilty." However, a month ago, when he was in UK, we talked very seriously and finally agreed that we would not make any mistakes and we would not talk about the past. I told him he was praying again, I was just waiting for an excuse to get better, but he thought I would take the first step again, but now for 2 weeks I don't care about him at all and he begs us to get along. He writes to me every day and tells me that without me time passes hard and that even because of me he will return from abroad. At the moment I'm great without him, I have a company where I have a lot of fun, I can't even think of him. In the meantime, I don't care now, my question is (is it worth forgiving him?) I think about it so much because we still have 3 years to go. thanks in advance