Hello! I am writing here for the third time and it is more or less the same problem, which can be said to be a development problem ... I will try to be as short as possible. My wife and I have been together for 5 years (total boyfriends and married) and we have a child of almost 3 years. Last time I wrote that everything between us in our relationship and in everyday life is going well, except that we have sex very rarely. In 2019 we had sex 4 times, with the longest break of 7 months. I have raised the topic more than once and we always come to a conclusion about how tired we are, we don't have time, BUT we have to start doing it more often ... and so on until a few months. Now here some of you will think "The woman is still looking after a small child, taking care of the house, to be cooked, to be clean, washed!" ... Well, that's right, take care of the household, but I'm not the type men who let the woman do everything, I try to cook on an equal footing with her, to stretch, to vacuum, to look after the child, ie I help in everything, the difference is that I go to work and she doesn't, but the percentage of the distribution of household debts is about 60% for her and 40% for me. Also, we have grandparents who help the little one from time to time. My thought was that she was not one of the poor female slaves who cleaned and cooked and looked after children all day, and in the end, their husband wanted to eat and fuck. In some of our conversations about the problem, it was said that she had gained another kilogram after giving birth and was not feeling well in her skin. Although I hardly see a difference and find her as attractive as she was at the beginning of our relationship, she has instilled in herself that she doesn't look good.
Not that I stopped complimenting her, but once I realized that, I started, even more, trying to boost her confidence, but it didn't work. I have the feeling that she already has an old lady. Anyway, it didn't work out, I tried to motivate her to start a diet and sports, but she didn't find the strength and time for that either. Well, I drive my own diet and sports, because I have to waste this energy from sexlessness somewhere, and it's not bad for personal health. I tried to persuade her to start some work, to leave the little one with a grandmother more often, but it didn't work out. He also refuses to let the child still sleep only in the other room, and he sleeps very lightly.
Anyway, at the beginning of our relationship, we had sex everywhere, but at one point we started having sex only in the bedroom, and after the child was born we stopped there. No more sexual teasing, no more spontaneity, when I try to provoke something spontaneously, I get away with a joke, someone with an obligation or an excuse. I feel that this takes us very far emotionally. Physically, I don't feel very bad. In order not to lead to infidelity in 2019, I took her to porn and chicks. Towards the end of 2019, it occurred to me, perhaps on a pheromone level, not to attract her anymore, not to lose testosterone from the chicks, so that there is no spark between us and I DECIDED. I stopped watching porn, masturbating, and cumming. For 1 month and a few days I had not touched, except to pee and wash.
I arranged for the two of us to go, without the child, to a very nice hotel, in a very nice place for 3 days. Then I was even more disappointed ... I'll tell you why. After check-in, meals, spa and everything we could be distracted by, the evening came ... Now both of them in the big luxury bedroom, rested, clean, I started kissing more passionately and there was nothing left to fuck the good and quality sex I had dreamed of. Well, fuck, she had sex, but she found some absurd excuse that my beard pricked her and refused to kiss during sex (I've never shaved to the bottom in my life and it wasn't a problem before) . Anyway ... SEX BETWEEN HUSBANDS WITHOUT KISSING ... it became super dumb to me and I managed to finish only because I hadn't finished for 1 month, but the experience was rather negative. And she had the feeling that she had no desire for sex, but she was doing it out of some kind of obligation and she felt like she wanted us to finish faster. Well, I didn't comment on anything, I was hoping to relax the next day and it would be better. Yes, but the next day and the next day she was so relaxed, that before I went to bed she was already asleep ...: D And now it's funny to me, but then I fell asleep with tears in my eyes, wondering where we went wrong and why things got so fucked up ... After this break, I started with the checks again because I thought it was pointless for me to beware of a man who had no desire to have sex with me. I started to despair ... I don't want sex just because of sex, I want sex to bring back that intimacy in the relationship we had with each other.
Now after this story, some of you may think that she has a "tramp", a lover, or at least once cheated on me to have such an attitude. I hope you're wrong, I don't think there is such a thing, because in our free time we are almost always together, or she is with her grandparents, and we both have full access to our phones (yes, I allowed myself to watch the chats, as well as mine), but there is nothing suspicious, and nowadays infidelity starts from there ... I do not completely rule it out as an option, but in my opinion, the reason lies in her attachment to motherhood ... I have the feeling that in caring for our daughter, somewhere my wife's sense of being a WOMAN has been lost ... Maybe I'm guilty too, I don't know. But please advise me what else to do, because I'm exhausted ... Thank you in advance! Nice day! because I'm exhausted ... Thank you in advance! Nice day! because I'm exhausted ... Thank you in advance! Nice day!
Answers 49
Marriage without sex is doomed to failure.
My husband doesn't look after any children and we still don't have sex. The situation is desperate. In my opinion, we have come across asexual partners. From that moment on, I started looking for others for sex. When he doesn't want what to do. I decided not to spoil my family, and we get along well with other things. It's a bit like living with a homosexual partner. And I wouldn't be surprised if they're latent homosexuals. Because I don't know otherwise how a person can last so long.
I had such a relationship with a woman with whom the first 1-2 years of hellish sex literally raped me, but after the second year of the beam, she stopped and admitted that she did not have those feelings as in the beginning, when she did not feel that attraction as in the beginning she could not. to relax, she didn't want to lie to me that way and we broke up. That's why your wife refuses for me, she just doesn't have the thrill that she had in the beginning, her everyday life and has conquered her, the monotony, so don't be surprised, women are like the weather - today sun tomorrow rain
Here is my advice: DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN UNDERSTAND WHO CHEATS YOU WITH. And then judge your future with her. People are very resourceful, and there are ways on the Internet to delete conversations, delete yourself, write incognito windows, download and delete a specific application all the time, use emails that no one else knows about and more ... Don't worry, You haven't met a late-realized nun, but an average Bulgarian ... That's life ... and women.
Well, we are with two and I use sex as a kind of relaxation, but I still have to invite my husband. Besides talking, go somewhere together one night, sexologist ...
You know the standard answers. No one will tell you anything new. We hadn't had sex in over a year. At some point we got better, but now again. She doesn't seem to sleep much. I've never understood this with my lovers in my life, but my life has reached just such a moment, now it's funny to me how far I've come. I don't have a mistress, but I warned her that there was still some time to make amends, otherwise I would. It's a pity, but this is the situation. And I have fallen asleep with tears in my eyes, more than once, I understand you. The bad thing is that it happens to people like us, where we do things in the household as a whole, we have provided food, bills, we behave well and everything is correct. If we were some kind of clowns, slapping them or walking whores left and right, our lovely women would probably walk on our asses, but hey, I've never been that kind of person. It seems to you that you are not. Try talking to her, but seriously, if that doesn't change, you'll leave or find another one. Too bad for the kids, bro, but we're 30 years old (I guess around that age), fuck, with our own wives if we don't have sex at that age, an absolute shame!
Is it possible to have bad breath? Or another unwanted body odor? Some people like me are very sensitive to bad smells. I remember in high school how aroused I was by a girl from the other class, until one day we passed each other and I smelled disgusting feces, it killed all my sexual interest in her and 10 years later I can't even remember her face. In my opinion, a good scent is the most arousing in the world, when I see a beautiful woman, I immediately think how nice it smells.
She is married to a psychologist. The child of 3 years must sleep alone so it is right. Sydney talked to her without getting out. Heavy man and you need sex if she wants to solve problems to do so, if informed consent and open marriage. And the other one has to work, staying home in the 21st century is disastrous. We live in a dynamic time. At 4 o'clock, even social contact is very important. Sure, she has her point of view, but you sound like a dream man to many women.
Hello. It says a man who has not had sex with his wife for more than 2 years. The difference with me is that we haven't had this turbulent relationship you told me about in the past. Before, sex was generally an obligation on her part. Eventually we got to do it once a week because I insisted a lot. Well, we did it that way, but it was insulting to me because there was no desire in my wife, and I even felt dislike, and in my insulting mood I once decided that it was better not to do it at all. Well what can I tell you, the result is there. For 2 years and something ... What are my conclusions: -It doesn't matter that you help at home and who does what. Don't interfere with that here. You can't expect sex because it helps you. -In no case do not be angry and do not show insult, especially to grumble and shake how unhappy or invaluable you are as a man. Women don't want grumblers, and strong men. -You are in a much more comfortable situation than me. You have contacts, though. You could try to give her pleasure, but without inclining it to sex. Look at her as a person, massage her, caress her, in general, try not to force things. Look at her as the woman you are meeting now, introduce yourself to her and give her time to feel and desire you. -Do not expose it to people near and far, do not seek support, the problem is between you and you both have to solve it. -If you really love her, show it to her. But as you know, she will enjoy it. Just think of her, you know her, you know what she needs, be by her side, but just as she enjoys it. -Take your chances to be able to be close to this woman, but be close so as not to hurt her. -Don't go out in the evening / night, offended or not " There is nothing to decide with a party or with restaurants. Be by her side, no matter how she treats you. -Don't overplay, don't try to manipulate her, force her, set conditions, be a worthy man and show your love. In general, be a man and truly love her. What does it mean to love? You can search for the Hymn of Love, read it, it's short, but think about it well, every word. Know that your situation is not rosy, but it can get worse ... If you do not want it to be so, you have to change what is up to you. Don't try to change it, try to understand it. She probably doesn't need much sex, especially with you. You may have hurt her in the past. See what she needs and help her. Don't think about sex, think about her and her good. I believe that such thinking will pay off. There is nothing to decide with a party or with restaurants. Be by her side, no matter how she treats you. -Don't overplay, don't try to manipulate her, force her, set conditions, be a worthy man and show your love. In general, be a man and truly love her. What does it mean to love? You can search for the Hymn of Love, read it, it's short, but think about it well, every word. Know that your situation is not rosy, but it can get worse ... If you do not want it to be so, you have to change what is up to you. Don't try to change it, try to understand it. She probably doesn't need much sex, especially with you. You may have hurt her in the past. See what she needs and help her. Don't think about sex, think about her and her good. I believe that such thinking will pay off. do not try to manipulate her, force her, set conditions, be a worthy man and show your love. In general, be a man and truly love her. What does it mean to love? You can search for the Hymn of Love, read it, it's short, but think about it well, every word. Know that your situation is not rosy, but it can get worse ... If you do not want it to be so, you have to change what is up to you. Don't try to change it, try to understand it. She probably doesn't need much sex, especially with you. You may have hurt her in the past. See what she needs and help her. Don't think about sex, think about her and her good. I believe that such thinking will pay off. do not try to manipulate her, force her, set conditions, be a worthy man and show your love. In general, be a man and truly love her. What does it mean to love? You can search for the Hymn of Love, read it, it's short, but think about it well, every word. Know that your situation is not rosy, but it can get worse ... If you do not want it to be so, you have to change what is up to you. Don't try to change it, try to understand it. She probably doesn't need much sex, especially with you. You may have hurt her in the past. See what she needs and help her. Don't think about sex, think about her and her good. I believe that such thinking will pay off. What does it mean to love? You can search for the Hymn of Love, read it, it's short, but think about it well, every word. Know that your situation is not rosy, but it can get worse ... If you do not want it to be so, you have to change what is up to you. Don't try to change it, try to understand it. She probably doesn't need much sex, especially with you. You may have hurt her in the past. See what she needs and help her. Don't think about sex, think about her and her good. I believe that such thinking will pay off. What does it mean to love? You can search for the Hymn of Love, read it, it's short, but think about it well, every word. Know that your situation is not rosy, but it can get worse ... If you do not want it to be so, you have to change what is up to you. Don't try to change it, try to understand it. She probably doesn't need much sex, especially with you. You may have hurt her in the past. See what she needs and help her. Don't think about sex, think about her and her good. I believe that such thinking will pay off. You may have hurt her in the past. See what she needs and help her. Don't think about sex, think about her and her good. I believe that such thinking will pay off. You may have hurt her in the past. See what she needs and help her. Don't think about sex, think about her and her good. I believe that such thinking will pay off.
Well, if there is sex without marriage, obviously there is marriage without sex. Instead of asking here, ask your wife why she doesn't want you? What don't you like anymore? This for weight, fatigue, etc. are frivolous reasons in my opinion. This is a question between the two of you.
A marriage without sex can only take place if you are both asexual. Otherwise there may be, but it will be torture for at least one. From everything described, it is clear that your wife * does not * want to have sex. It is quite possible that this reluctance is specific to you, as the refusal to kiss speaks. Women accept kissing as something even more personal and intimate than sex, and an expression of love. When we don't want intimacy with a man and we don't love him, kissing him seems nasty. Or when we are in love with another ... Author, you have to find the reason your wife doesn't want you anymore. There are several options, but for me they usually always come down to one - she doesn't want you anymore. Is there a desire, a way is found. And when something interferes, the desire becomes even more obvious and strong. For me, many men confuse their approach in such situations. They start to please, to try to "deserve" sex with gifts and pampering, or to "predispose" the woman with excursions. We women are like you, you have to arouse and seduce us, not buy us. Make this woman see you as a man. For starters, get the child out of the bedroom. First, it's not good for him, second, she's so obsessed with him and herself with care, third, she's holding him like a shield against sex with you. She'll shake, but there's no way, you have to remove her shield. She'll think you're doing it to push her even harder for sex, but you have to stop raising the topic altogether. This way she will both stay disarmed and she will not know why and you will confuse her. Then, pay attention to yourself. You say she's gained weight, and how are you? Do you maintain your appearance? If not, start. If so, start doing some new things again. Buy new clothes, start training something. Find interests outside the family, start going out nowhere without a detailed explanation. Let her know that even without her, you still have life and options. Finally, bring order and discipline to the home. The child is only the first step. Women instinctively look for men who know how to discipline and control, because these are qualities that a father needs. Therefore, you need to have specific criteria for what is happening at home and to defend them with a firm hand and composure. The trick is to make her lose ground and realize that nothing is safe for her, and you're not just a gadget. If even then he does not see you as a man and does not want you, the cause is lost. Make sure the child is well and take care of how to arrange your life without relying on it. The child is only the first step. Women instinctively look for men who know how to discipline and control, because these are qualities that a father needs. Therefore, you need to have specific criteria for what is happening at home and to defend them with a firm hand and composure. The trick is to make her lose ground and realize that nothing is safe for her, and you're not just a gadget. If even then he does not see you as a man and does not want you, the cause is lost. Make sure the child is well and take care of how to arrange your life without relying on it. The child is only the first step. Women instinctively look for men who know how to discipline and control, because these are qualities that a father needs. Therefore, you need to have specific criteria for what is happening at home and to defend them with a firm hand and composure. The trick is to make her lose ground and realize that nothing is safe for her, and you're not just a gadget. If even then he does not see you as a man and does not want you, the cause is lost. Make sure the child is well and take care of how to arrange your life without relying on it. The trick is to make her lose ground and realize that nothing is safe for her, and you're not just a gadget. If even then he does not see you as a man and does not want you, the cause is lost. Make sure the child is well and take care of how to arrange your life without relying on it. The trick is to make her lose ground and realize that nothing is safe for her, and you're not just a gadget. If even then he does not see you as a man and does not want you, the cause is lost. Make sure the child is well and take care of how to arrange your life without relying on it.
Just because you don't have sex doesn't mean your wife doesn't. If you can do without sex, drive like that, and she will find a replacement. People get together because of sex, and when you remove it, what's left is just tearing your nerves!
Apparently for some reason you hate her.
I am a woman, divorced ... for other reasons, but this was one of the main ones. There is no advice here, I'm sorry, it's not you who has to make an effort, it's her. I understand her somewhere, only one thing made me very suspicious, why didn't she want a passionate kiss? This makes me think that there is someone, even if he does not want to have sex, kissing, oral love are also options to play with you, for your own sake. You can't be so selfish, talk to her, but in detail, name things by their real names. Explain what you like and who you are, explain that you are human, you need an emotional bond that leads to sex between a married man and a woman. Sex unites, opens, diversifies, there is no stress, it is easy to fall asleep and the day with it starts pleasantly. anyway I won't get annoying. But if he doesn't have a lover now, he'll find a job when he starts, both you and she need to be wanted, but if she doesn't want it specifically from you ... I'm sorry :) Just be careful not to grumble, talk like a friend, honestly! (Do you read books? If you read, buy Sylvia Day's crossfire series and give it away now for February 14) :) Good luck, boy!
Why don't you just be completely honest with her? If I were, I would show this story to my husband. There are many possible reasons for both guessing and not guessing, only she knows what's in her head. She may feel ugly and these thoughts may deny her sex, she may have a lover, sex may be naughty to her ... I know ... Caused as much as you want. Only she can give you the answer. Show her the story, be honest, tell her it could ruin your marriage, be honest about your feelings. You seem like a decent man and man, I don't see the problem in you, so it's time to find out exactly what's going on. I'm waiting for an update for you to tell us how the conversation went and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you to solve the problem. Success!
Yes, it is possible.
Her libido has dropped. Pregnancy has a strong influence on this. Does she even want to fix this? According to the described conversations - she does not care at all and does not care. She's fine right now, but if she cares about you, she has to do something to fix her libido. In this case, a couples psychologist could help, did you suggest? Simply explain to her that you do not feel good in such a marriage, this is a normal need and if she does not want to work on her problem, there are 3 options: you accept a life without sex, you both agree to open the marriage or he just ends.
Ehh guys I'm explaining, explaining, but who's listening to me. Women marry to give birth and have their backs behind them. Don't think they do it for love. First, they show their best side as they tie you up. But then they are physically invincible to their husbands. However, do not think that they are not having sex.
I understand her completely and after the birth of my daughter we were in your situation. My point of view is that she is ashamed of her body after the birth, at least I was like that, but mine did not fail to tell me how bad I am and contribute to my rejection, and I can say that for a woman crying two children I look good 50 kg with the difference that my belly is not tight and my breasts too, but .. it is fixable Separately and may experience fear if the birth was unbearably painful and if she had stitches and the other option she just gave herself to the child and she is not interested in anything intimate with the person next to her. Give me a little more time and if it goes on for a long time straight and say directly that the married will end, because this is waiting for you if your intimate life does not improve.
Up to 10 they trained well! The fact that sex is not important can only be said by a person without a prostate - ie. - a woman. For a man, it is extremely important, not only as an experience, but also because a man's hormonal balance is regulated by glands that women do not have. Reduced sex leads to a decrease in testosterone, and this is liked by many women - a man who is meek, hardworking, caring and dedicated. To see the resemblance to a stingy ox that is only expected to be strong behind the plow? Sex is a biological necessity, and while for women it is only a means of satisfying their need for a child, for men it is not. Confirmation are the hundreds of posts here for women who, the moment they receive what is important to them - marriage, child or other, stop having sex, which simply means that for them it was just a means. so that, do not give harmful advice to the author. He is a normal man, watching him really try, and gets in return indifference. I would advise him to put the cards on the table - they have a problem and his wife is part of it. If he does not want to be part of the problem, but part of the solution, take it into his own hands. Because there is a decision in which she may not participate ... There seems to be truth in the fact that sex is the price that a woman pays for marriage, and marriage is the price that a man pays for sex :)
I am a boy of 25 and I will write this page down so that I can read it in the future when someone asks me "won't you think about family anymore". This, as well as other similar pages
Most of my colleagues who gave birth returned to work the second year because the money for motherhood is greatly reduced. At home they cook, clean and do everything themselves, the men help them with shopping only. We also work on Saturdays. I've talked to them a lot - they used their motherhood to learn a new language, a master's degree and develop some skills at home to help the family one day. I am currently pregnant, studying Spanish online, cleaning, cooking, making a plan of how I will act one day to find a better job. Your child is 3. So, in general, your wife has been sitting at home for 4 years, and motherhood is an excuse for her laziness. I would go crazy in 4 years at home. I don't know, you don't write that she has any interests - to read, to develop. To want to work. I don't believe you are rich, how long does she think she won't work? Of course, that there is some work at home, but .... Your wife is very relaxed, if she is among people, she wants to play sports, to be wanted But she is lazy sitting with them and no sex, no maintenance, no nothing. Well, you can't live like Scott.
22, and why don't you write down as an example "Is only my wife cool"? There are examples in both directions, but apparently the other direction causes you the discomfort that it is not always what you have instilled.
FROM THE AUTHOR: Thank you all for the answers and advice! It will suit most of you individually tomorrow because I have a lot of work to do today! You are awesome! <3
For me, you are a slipper man who cannot solve his problems alone !!! If you can't find a solution YOURSELF, there are no recipes for one HERE!
Numerous excuses on her part, and none is the real reason. He keeps the child with you to make excuses, not because he is worried. Apart from being absurd in themselves, they are not valid reasons for not having any desire for sex. The most telltale fact, though, is that he doesn't want to kiss you. Why? Because such women like someone and only want to kiss / push with him, etc. Accordingly, it remains to find out who is on the other side. Honestly, even if you don't sleep with someone, things are going to divorce, because the lie itself is a betrayal of you.
Smart and powerful men do not marry. For a man, there are exactly 0 reasons to stay in a relationship where there is no sex. The woman is not averse to me to talk to her on topics that excite me (and not her). You only need a wife for sex and children, but if sex stops, this woman is superfluous. I don't care how selfish or selfish it sounds! On the 5th day without sex, I start to tremble and I feel sick. I don't have to put up with this unless she's sick or something. So I would solve your problem with an ultimatum. In general, I think men have become great cowards. Civilization is built by strong and brave men who are selfish in the first place, which may not be OK for others, but at least they do not fall into such a pathetic position to pray for sex. I was in such a position for a short time, I did not pray, but the woman did not take much initiative, as if it were an obligation.
BY THE AUTHOR: First I want to thank the creators and the people who support this site! This is a wonderful confessional through which everyone, by telling their story and receiving advice, reaches their inner truths. Thanks also for the fact that 20 people responded and gave an opinion on my already rather banal topic. I will try to answer each of you, thus answering to myself where the problem is and what its solution is. NUMBER 1 - Yes, I agree that a marriage without sex is doomed to failure, especially at this age of 20 to 50 years. We are almost 30 and if we do not have sex now and there is no such kind of intimacy, what is left for 10-20-30 years. That is exactly why I am looking for a solution to the problem. NUMBER 2 - I'm not sure I came across an asexual partner, because in the first 2 years of our relationship, we were even quite sexual, but at the moment, as you say, it's like living with a homosexual partner, or I would liken it to a relationship like a brother or sister, or very good friends. We also understand almost everything and live in sync with almost everything. I still can't accept looking for another for sex, I hope before we get to this point, we have solved our problems in the bedroom. NUMBER 3 - This with the disappearance of the thrill certainly plays a role, but the thrill disappears after the first year, at least with us it was, but then, another level of sex began, when you know your partner perfectly and know exactly how to you give him pleasure, as he gives you, when there is no more shame between you, the thrill is no longer as in the beginning, but you are much more attuned to each other and things are transferred to another level. At least before the child with us, things were at such a stage. But then, as is clear from my story, they became quite extreme, with 4 times a year sex. NUMBER 4 - I really hope you're wrong and I'm still running away from these thoughts that he might be cheating on me. The old people told us not to chase, that we would get caught. I leave this scenario in the background, and if so, sooner or later it will be understood. If in the end it turns out to be infidelity, we will just break up, without drama, without driving, without revenge. I am not such a person, I strongly believe in the influence of karma in human life, and that everything comes back when the time comes. NUMBER 5 - I also feel very calm and relaxed after sex, especially if it was nice. And to go somewhere, I described it in my story above, and because of the still hidden problem for me, which I am looking for a solution to, it turned out to be a failure. I have not yet thought about a sexologist / psychologist, and we do not have unnecessary time and funds for such a service, but I do not rule it out as a possible option to save the marriage, if I do not find another solution. NUMBER 6 - Yes, we are obviously in similar situations ... And I do not see in my wife especially cares that we do not have sex. He lives normally, his daily life goes well, and I was fine for a while, but then the tension started to build up and I don't know when my glass will overflow. I will try to talk really seriously with her on this topic, because as I mentioned, our conversations on the topic somehow pass by the way and we seem to agree that it is good to have more sex, to be more intimate, and then old song new voice. Good luck to you too, I hope things get better! NUMBER 7 - I exclude this as a possible reason, because I support myself very much and hygiene always comes first, both for me and for her. And we have been together for 5 years ... NUMBER 8 - The child sleeps in a separate crib, it's just in our bedroom. But yes, I am of the opinion that he should already be in the other room, it will be better for both the child and us. For an open marriage and no word, we are just not that type of people. For work, I agree that it is good to work, not so much for money, but to be distracted by this motherhood and this monotony. This is one of my actions that I have taken in the direction of solving the problem, to convince her to start some work, and be it, as you say, at 4 o'clock, some light work, just to have variety. NUMBER 10 - First I want to thank you for the comprehensive answer, I appreciate it. With us so far, sex has not been mandatory, but last time that's exactly how I felt about her. I don't expect sex at all because I help my wife. I help her because I think it's right and I'm brought up that way, not to have sex. I am absolutely not angry with her, nor am I shaking and grumbling, firstly because I am trying to understand her, secondly because I know that I will be unattractive in her eyes. Otherwise, I sought advice on this site because of its anonymity, because I do not want to ask relatives and acquaintances for advice, because this is something inside the family that needs to be decided and it will not be fair in my opinion to go out. Thank you for reminding me of the "Hymn of Love", I read it, but a long time ago, and it's very nice. Maybe you're right here, more and more often I forget to show her my love in that romantic way, either because of the hectic daily life or because of our obsessive way of life. I will take this advice from you and try to fix it. I hope for you, things will improve, you sound like a person who feels things. NUMBER 11 - That's right and I think they are frivolous reasons. I am asking here to see the different points of view, but that's right, this is only between us and I have to ask the question firmly to find a solution together. NUMBER 12 - Yes, I definitely realized that the problem is already quite serious after giving up and kissing during sex. I, too, have always considered kissing to be something very intimate and personal, which is exactly why I felt terribly unwanted last time. And I am of the opinion that if there is a desire, there is a way, and if there is no desire, there is an excuse. Now I am looking for a solution to the problem. One approach, as someone said above, is which you say is wrong. The other approach is the one you offer. I completely agree with the child, but she has become like a mother eagle and it is quite difficult to touch her in this area. Otherwise, yes, I play sports, I support myself, in general we both look good, there is no lack of female attention to me from the outside, and if she had more social contacts, there would be no lack of male attention to her. And I don't say that because she's my wife and I like her, but she really is a beautiful girl. I will seriously consider whether to accept the advice from you, because it sounds reasonable to me, to find some side activity, to go out more often with friends without giving an explanation, to feel that only the family is not important to me, and I have other interests as a person. Yes, they both, especially the little one, will always come first, but I have to do it, that my wife should stop thinking that "I'm tied to her in a towel." NUMBER 13 - I really hope you are wrong, but if so - everyone is on their way! :) NUMBER 14 - I hope not, I have not given a reason either physically or mentally. NUMBER 15 - I absolutely agree with everything, and we definitely need to talk in detail, not just from rain to wind. And yes, I don't miss sex as much as I do emotionally. Physically, on my hand for 5 minutes, no matter how tense I am all day, I do it, accumulating more, but this emotional connection that there is between two people when they have passionate sex, I can't get it from masturbating ... NUMBER 16 - I agree, I will reveal to her absolutely everything I think and feel as I did in front of you, hoping that she will be honest with me and we will solve the problem together! I will write the development of course! Thanks! NUMBER 18 - I agree, and I think that pregnancy and then motherhood play a very strong role in our situation. And of the three options you have listed, the first two are unacceptable to me, so either we will solve our problems or sooner or later this marriage and this relationship will end. I haven't offered her a couple psychologist, but I have it as an option if nothing else helps. NUMBER 19 - Well, until now I was wearing pink glasses, optimistic about marriage, but we will live and see, my opinion may change. NUMBER 20 - Yes, and I mostly attribute it to that, precisely because of that, I do not blame her in any way for her appearance, on the contrary, I compliment her. And for the birth, it wasn't hard, even soon after the birth we resumed our sex life, but the problems started a little later and I don't think it's physical but mental. NUMBER 21 - Yes, I will definitely put the cards on the table and we will look for a solution to the problem, and if there is no such, there will always be this solution in which she does not participate, but this is at the bottom of my bag of solutions, because we have a child again. And the last sentence is quite accurate, in certain situations. Will remember it! :) NUMBER 23 - There is truth in your words, albeit roughly speaking. That's why I'm trying to get her to start working. We are not rich, but money is enough for us to live normally. And she is not lazy at all, but she just seems to be absorbed in this life, which she has been leading, as she said, for almost 4 years. NUMBER 22 AND 24 - 22, don't use my story as a negative example and really read what 24 recommended to you. I mean, that my relationship with my wife is something like in the story "Is only my wife cool?", we really understand each other very much, we agree on almost everything, we have developed intuition towards each other, we work in sync to maintain a healthy and happy family. And here comes this problem with sex, or rather the lack of it, which is about to ruin and destroy what we have built together as understanding and trust. That's why I'm looking for the solution ... Have a nice day and a wonderful week everyone! Thank you again! And I will keep you posted! And here comes this problem with sex, or rather the lack of it, which is about to ruin and destroy what we have built together as understanding and trust. That's why I'm looking for the solution ... Have a nice day and a wonderful week everyone! Thank you again! And I will keep you posted! And here comes this problem with sex, or rather the lack of it, which is about to ruin and destroy what we have built together as understanding and trust. That's why I'm looking for the solution ... Have a nice day and a wonderful week everyone! Thank you again! And I will keep you posted!
Another TV series. Am I just not believing in such fabrications? It seems too crowded to me, so hotel, so spa. Nonsense! So I will remember how many times a year, how not, in a week I can remember, but in a year. What can a young couple do if they don't have an intimate life. What did they marry? No, no, either the 21st century is a century of stupidity or, I don't know, a desperate story.
We also don't have sex regularly at home. Over the years, less and less. Recently 3-4 times a year. We both have no desire. Basically my husband. But lately, so have I. And why? Because our sex is boring, too short, uninteresting and unsatisfactory for me. So ask yourself - was the sex between you good? You like her, don't you? Does it end during sex? Are you interested in her desires during sex? My husband has never been interested in what I want in sex. He knows the same thing and has been doing it for years. He accused me of being frigid and therefore not having orgasms. The important thing for him is to end it and that's it. That's why over the years I just lost interest in sex with him. What's the point of "drooling" me for 5 minutes? BETTER TO SLEEP? ARE YOU SO? THINK ABOUT IT? TO WANT YOUR WIFE TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU, HE MUST GIVE HER PLEASURE. REAL QUALITY SEX. Then the thrill will return.
The author, your wife needs female company, possibly people who go out and live. To lift her spirits a little and get her out of her routine. To go to a concert, a theater, a bar - to have the opportunity to look at something different from her life. You will not help her. Women need to go out, talk about men, about sex, about a little stimulus and motivation. She is too engrossed in the role of a mother. I am a 39-year-old woman with 3 children, I work full time and I like to go out and have fun.
Hello author. I shivered at the subject. Of course, marriage is possible without sex, and the fact that I have experienced it proves it. But think about where that leads. Of course until parting. Scenes from a movie will sound to all of you, but it's true. 14 years of marriage, 12 of which without sex, none, because, according to her, she is afraid and hurts. Of course, he fixed me with his hand, his mouth, but full sex was missing. Most of the time I drove her to dry, check and porn. I haven't even thought about infidelity, because it's up to my conscience and I loved it very much. There have been many conversations. With bad with good and so on. I even said she would die a virgin because she was a virgin. After 12 years of trying and talking, she was inclined, and we did it, but we did it quite rarely and apparently she didn't like it, to put it bluntly, "she flakes her seeds", and I'm quite sexy and talented, I would say normal in every way. I lost all interest in her, and that led to a divorce. And now I can't describe how I feel at the age of 37, divorced, without children, with severe depression and lost youth. So if she doesn't want to change things, I think you should split up. Everyone deserves happiness, and in this case you do not feel happy. Good luck.
As I read this topic, I think of an old joke. Wife to her husband: "Honey, we haven't had sex in a long time." He replies, "Confused pronouns, darling. You haven't had sex in a long time." In order not to want a woman to have sex with her husband, there is always a reason. Here are a few: She's in love / Fucking someone else (keep in mind here that even an emotional attraction to another man may be the cause, it doesn't have to be sex); Her husband no longer attracts her (He does not maintain a good appearance, he is fat, he has lost his job and he is rolling around the house); She is bored, she does not have sex (it still requires some effort, especially if you do not lie like a dead cow all the time). But let me tell you, dear men, if a woman holds on to her husband, she has sex with him at least once a week. And no routine, no commitments, nor can headaches change that. Draw your own conclusions.
Up to 30 Not everyone is you.
From issue 4 Author, the story you described contains all the hallmarks of classic infidelity. You don't have to hire a detective agency to find out the truth. Go to a psychologist and present the story you wrote here, answer a few more questions that will be asked and you will hear the opinion of an expert! Like I said, your wife is not a nun, but from the other league ... I don't want to offend and qualify, but you will see for yourself. You look very kind, patient and soft and believe me, these qualities women like, but do not tolerate ... it's hard to describe! With a woman, if you stay soft longer, she will give it back to you! You have a great love for her, but since there is no one to give it back to you? Then what kind of person do you have against you? Woman - wife? No!!! Understand that you are alone in this love affair.
You've become a slipper, author. Look at the side of a man who, like a beggar, begs his wife for sex and caresses. Fulfills all the desires of the woman, and like a dog waiting for alms! Look now as a man I will tell you, there is no such possibility for a normal married woman to have sex 4 times a year with her husband. Your wife is cheating on you 100 percent, rest assured, she can't even stand you. You tell her directly that such cohabitation does not suit you, that you already think about separation, since you are no longer intimate and close, you cannot live with her like some roommates. But you have to be extreme in your actions, don't even go home for a few days, turn off your phone. Your wife needs to understand that she can really lose you. Stop helping her, go out alone, you say and directly there will be SEX with you or without you.
I have a friend from the age of 3, we have a age difference, I am 19, he is 29. We had sex regularly, almost every day until we were out of breath. And for some time we do it rarely, 2-3 times a week. He told me that I was tired of him, but it was normal for him, because everyone got tired of him after the first time. And I call myself, is this mine normal? I give him everything, front, back, blowjob more often than sex, I have a small narrow vagina, like a porn actress. Looking at me, he doesn't care if she's dressed or wearing make-up. I like sex even though he never kisses me when we do it .. Sex is 10 minutes, even though he beats me up I feel like he doesn't want me .... Workload, we scold her, we fight. Sex is very important to me and I do not want to cheat .. I want to be with him, even though he pushes me into other people's hands. When he pretends to ask me, he tells me to go to another ... . I am very angry with him, but ... I don't know, it weighs a lot on me, I feel unnecessary, like a woman, and I cry in the evening when I am rejected and I feel humiliated!
# 39 Now it remains to say how much you love him and the drama will be complete. If you want improvement - take matters into your own hands and stop this farce, this is not your man, nor does he love you, so he does not show elementary concern.
AUTHOR, my situation is the same, but we don't have children yet. We have been together for 7 years, getting married a few years ago, but this scenario is present anyway. I have gone the same way, I am still looking for a solution. I have explained all this. We talked to her, she doesn't tell me any reason. There are such people. I have asked many other people, it happens with a lot of families. It strikes me that you are a relatively literate, well-defined modern person. That is quite a similar situation as mine. Maybe this is a stereotype? It is a pity that there is no way and where to talk. Do not despair, a solution will be found. For me, it would be the following: To have a discreet relationship with a person who would impress me, to be in a similar position, to have something to lose like me. To be sensible and intelligent, so that there are no feelings, but to have sex from time to time, which will strengthen our families.
I don't know why they didn't publish my opinion, but it described quite precisely what the medical and mental reasons for your wife's lack of libido could be. I will not write it again, I will only recommend that you take your wife to an endocrinologist - examination of the thyroid gland and pituitary gland. You can also supply it with herbs suitable for depression and hypoxia. The most likely cause is impaired brain chemistry.
I understand you very well, my friend! Many years ago I had the same problem with my wife. And I had problems with your audacity for porn. I thought what not. We didn't have such phones then and we couldn't keep track like now. In the end, the reason turned out to be quite trivial: the neighbor downstairs ... He once offered to take her to her mother on the way. Why walk? Then they happened to see each other again in the city. Then they drank coffee. They shared different things. Then they slept. I went to work in shifts then - how much does it cost you to go upstairs? So I was tormented for 6 years until I calculated it, but in fact they told me in plain text. I couldn't stand it anymore and I was my mistress then. She fell in love with me and one day told me everything about my wife. It turned out that only I did not know. Look for the reason nearby! No one comes from the other side of the world to fuck you.
Up to 45 bass I give that while you cheated on your wife and it never crossed your mind what she is capable of and what she is doing behind your back. The guarantee that you did not allow a word to be said about her, that you felt guilt in your eyes, was almost a saint. My thought is that not only you but an awful lot of men make the same mistake. They embark on extramarital affairs and think that if you see only they are unfaithful and their wives are "holy water not drunk". I was on the verge of embarking on such an adventure, I didn't do it because I know the wife of the candidate lover and she is capable of a lot, she just hasn't understood it yet. I told him to stay alert, I did not gather the strength to betray my husband, but sooner or later she will do it in a way and with a man he least expects. Well that's it, you have to expect everything from everyone!
Author, share if you find a solution. And for others, our situation is not rosy.
Abtora, is there a development?
FROM THE AUTHOR: I don't have time to go into details, because at the moment I have other worries on my head, but in order not to keep you in suspense - WE STILL DON'T HAVE SEX. And not only that, there is no intimacy between us ... We enjoy spending time together, going out as a family, having dinner together, talking about how our day went, watching movies, not arguing, going to bed together in one bed, me completely naked, she half-naked ... AND WE SLEEP! In the morning we drink coffee, laugh at various topics, help each other with the household and the child, I go to work, she goes out from time to time with friends and the same thing, every day. Abe we are generally like brother and sister or like BFF (Best friends forever) :) Have a nice day!
He is possible, but he is absolutely unhappy ... Give me an idea of deliverance, that I am not one of those who cheat, and I would not hurt my child with circuses and divisions ... (it is a pity that there will be years of agony and grief before he finishes high school ...)! So far, everything is at my expense, but even my patience has limits ...
Well, I don't understand why when you sleep together, she is lightly dressed ... Doesn't she allow you to hug her, you can caress her ... If I had such closeness with my wife, I would be happy, because she doesn't he lets me in on you at all, and you ... like you have a chance to get closer. Are you looking for such closeness. Even if there is no sex, why is there no intimacy?
I follow the topic from the moment it was published and I keep wondering what kind of people there are on this planet. I do not understand how marriage or ordinary cohabitation can turn into pain and almost agony. I do not know with what mind people / men and women / agree to live with a person thinking that in time they have the right to become just roommates and deprive him of any intimacy and tenderness. Who and what gives them this right? I am a 33 year old woman. married with three children, from 13 years. I am with my husband. We have had difficult moments, we have experienced a lot. In addition to the three pregnancies, I have had two miscarriages. I haven't always had sex, but every night I go to bed with my husband, say "good night" to him, kiss him on the forehead and fall asleep in his lap, even with his back to me. The children were babies, my grandmothers or babysitters didn't help me, but we have always found time for a little tenderness. Otherwise, what is the point of being together, regardless of whether we are angry, offended or in trouble. We also go to bed lightly dressed, the clothes do not interfere when there is a desire. Personally, I can't turn around and fall asleep knowing that my husband is completely naked next to me, no matter how tired, depressed or stressed I am. Not that I'm bragging or anything, I'm just wondering how a woman can not give intimacy to the man next to her, the man with whom she created her child, for so long. I understand a day, two or a week, two, but this with the months without any touch comes to me more. I don't think asking a little attention from the person you decide to share your life with is some form of selfishness. Author, I don't know what advice to give you. I have an acquaintance like you, his wife and I have roommates and good friends, in front of people are the perfect family. His wife, the same as yours, forgot that she lives with a man, they even sleep in separate rooms. His decision is to cheat systematically. I will not justify it, but he hardly came to this choice easily. You say that you are firmly against infidelity, obviously you will not go to infidelity to destruction. I think you should seriously consider continuing this relationship. Children grow and we grow old, time does not wait for us. You will surely meet a good woman who appreciates you and shows it to you every day. Success! I think you should seriously consider continuing this relationship. Children grow and we grow old, time does not wait for us. You will surely meet a good woman who appreciates you and shows it to you every day. Success! I think you should seriously consider continuing this relationship. Children grow and we grow old, time does not wait for us. You will surely meet a good woman who appreciates you and shows it to you every day. Success!
Personally, I dream of just such a relationship. I myself am A-sexual and every time my boyfriends have endlessly annoyed me by insisting on sex. When they gossip and you become one of them, nothing ... to watch them humiliate me has become even worse. And for me, it was that I didn't feel good in my skin. And lastly, I gained a little weight and when I have sex I gasp and get tired. Especially if it's summer and I'm sweating a lot. All this is super anti-romantic to me. However, I also wanted to have sex once a week, for example. I think that so often it is normal on a hormonal level and does not harm the rest of the more important part of life, in which we go to work, look after children, etc .. 4 times a year, however, is absurd. And that with the beard ... similar things have happened to me with women who did not give 5 money for me and stayed with me for fear of loneliness or simply because they have no other alternative (of course a tramp). The moment they found another phallus and blew 300. All 8 of my boyfriends cheated on me and none showed any signs. Subsequently, I explained their hostility to me. I'm sorry, but you really need to talk SERIOUSLY. Not because of the missing sex, but because of her dislike of you. This is actually the problem that leads to sexlessness. but you really need to talk SERIOUSLY. Not because of the missing sex, but because of her dislike of you. This is actually the problem that leads to sexlessness. but you really need to talk SERIOUSLY. Not because of the missing sex, but because of her dislike of you. This is actually the problem that leads to sexlessness.