Hi my story is shocking and I am looking for advice. Basically, these things are not shared by everyone, so I decided in a neutral setting like this to express my grief .. My saga dates back 12 years ago, when my parents divorced, then I was 14, my father left my mother, having a relationship with another woman. Something was unlocked in my mother then and a series of harassment started on me .. this separately unlocked in me a series of health problems - on nervous grounds .. "Mother" decided that in Bulgaria she could not find a job and refused me from school and me I went to Greece, I was small and innocent, I started working and my boss was an old Greek, he started persecuting me, I told my mother that in Greece it was not my place and that I was coming home, and she started shouting and swearing that I had to sit there to make money, no matter what ... I didn't listen to her, the only good thing she gave me (unfortunately, it's morality), I went home. For a long time she didn't even ask how I was, if I had anything to eat here, etc. (here you will ask yourself where my father is in the whole story - the answer is that he dumped me with my sick mother and for 10 years was not interested. for me both financially and morally) ... Anyway, I finished school and enrolled in high school, my mother came back from Greece and started again harassment bit me to the bone, yelled at me .. not to mention the words and oaths and everything for no apparent reason ... she has problems with alcohol and nerves (my grandfather was a military man and a huge tyrant. from there she rolled I ask, her behavior does not border on normal, let alone maternal) .. I wanted to run away from her, she ruined my psyche, nerves and perceptions of the world, my distorted thinking became aggressive and I was afraid of not following her psycho model ... childhood traumas appear in adulthood .. As I mentioned above , I wanted to get out of hell and found a lifeline in a man, he has a similar to my story, but in a soft version and we found common ground (a man with a normal family and mother, would never understand me). I got married and then got pregnant, my mother directly and indirectly intervened and shattered my marriage, my psyche and hence my husband's ... I lost the man who really understood me, because of my childhood burden, now we are in divorce and I returned to the tyrant (I have nowhere else to go, the apartment is in my name, but she has the right to use to the grave and the situation is serious .. My question is - how to proceed with my mother and can someone recommend me a psychotherapist and family counselor. Thank you in advance for your cooperation and understanding!
Answers 26
It's like describing my freak, with the only difference being that mine doesn't lick alcohol at all. Otherwise she is the same lunatic. He ruined my life, he ruined my every relationship, he wanted me to be alone and unhappy so he could harass me. It's all one-on-one - oaths, threats, glittering eyes, roaring throats in a hysterical fit, fighting, biting, spitting, throwing on the ground when you can't, no matter what - it could be something very small. but to see her in front of people - she is the most humble, the most normal, the most loving, the most cherished, such a theater plays - she, the martyr who sacrificed her life to see me, and I was her. " protruded "8 means ruined /. Well, tell me what to think of mine - she was never beaten and bullied as a child, only a child was looked after and protected from work and problems. She is not an alcoholic, she is not a drug addict, she is not officially certified, she does not take drugs that affect her behavior. Tell me, what is wrong with her? !! Or is he just a demon, in a human body, evil, dressed in form, an energy vampire, obsessed or just undiagnosed crazy?
From everything I've read, I'm left with the impression that your mother thinks she owns you, that she has the right to command you, regardless of your age. You have to oppose her, you have nothing to be ashamed of, to file a complaint, someone said "Our children are ours, but they do not belong to us" and since you can't explain this to your mother, leave it to a psychotherapist to did. Do not sacrifice your child and limit his views with your mother. She must have been through a lot herself and wondered what to do, but that's definitely not the way to go. To threaten you with a knife, to bite, to bark, this is inherent in only one animal, and your mother is not like that! File a complaint, consult a psychotherapist about it, because this is not normal, COLLECT COURAGE, because your child will also suffer later if you do not take action now! Good luck, write how it went!
well yes it is not a good thing with the head
I can't understand people who have been bullied by their parents all their lives and then feel obligated to them in any way. Mothers are not schizophrenics but just vicious. You have to do exactly what you don't want to do. He made several recordings of scandals and threats and directly to the police. Either you drive her crazy and they send her to a mental institution, or you secure a restraining order, so it will have to be taken out by you. Forget that she is your mother, she has long since apparently forgotten that you are also a daughter.
It's not schizophrenia at all ... Obviously, severe childhood traumas, an uncertain future and despair mixed with alcohol become scary. Work, pay for accommodation and don't deal with it.
You return to your husband immediately. You cut off all contact with your mother. But all kinds. She is not your mother and she never was. To do what you want. It is big enough. Everything is in your hands. You also allowed him to break up your family. She doesn't have to know where you live or have your coordinates.
Your story is painfully familiar to me. I was 12 when mine was certified. The harassment came after she was discharged. I just finished 8th grade. Then I went to my father and managed to finish high school. I was in a hurry to get married and start a family so that she wouldn't lie to me that I would ruin my life. Thank God my husband is not one of the best but he eats and we live somehow, and the child grows up. From what I learned, however, I try to never be like my mother. I am often observed to catch if I have abnormalities. For now I am still normal and my child is happy. However, I am still ashamed of her and lie that she is not in good health and I avoid talking about her, but I cannot survive the inner pain. Although we are already big and I know that people will understand me, I cannot experience the shame and fear of my childhood. Not advice but a request to you, run away from it no matter how much it hurts. The pain will be greater if you stay. And your psyche will add to that of your child. Go to your husband's quarters. If necessary, certify her and then the police will forbid her to come to you. otherwise they will take her back to the insane asylum. They do not realize that they are ill, they do not even feel guilty about what they are doing to others. and there is no worst treatment, but in the name of your child there is salvation on your part. ignore her from your life if you have to and with the help of your husband who will help you the best because he cares about you unlike your mother who is a complete selfish person. Then visit a therapist and family counselor to overcome the pain. Do it please !!! Good luck Go to your husband's quarters. If necessary, certify her and then the police will forbid her to come to you. otherwise they will take her back to the insane asylum. They do not realize that they are ill, they do not even feel guilty about what they are doing to others. and there is no worst treatment, but in the name of your child there is salvation on your part. ignore her from your life if you have to and with the help of your husband who will help you the best because he cares about you unlike your mother who is a complete selfish person. Then visit a therapist and family counselor to overcome the pain. Do it please !!! Good luck Go to your husband's quarters. If necessary, certify her and then the police will forbid her to come to you. otherwise they will take her back to the insane asylum. They do not realize that they are ill, they do not even feel guilty about what they are doing to others. and there is no worst treatment, but in the name of your child there is salvation on your part. ignore her from your life if you have to and with the help of your husband who will help you the best because he cares about you unlike your mother who is a complete selfish person. Then visit a therapist and family counselor to overcome the pain. Do it please !!! Good luck and there is no worst treatment, but in the name of your child there is salvation on your part. ignore her from your life if you have to and with the help of your husband who will help you the best because he cares about you unlike your mother who is a complete selfish person. Then visit a therapist and family counselor to overcome the pain. Do it please !!! Good luck and there is no worst treatment, but in the name of your child there is salvation on your part. ignore her from your life if you have to and with the help of your husband who will help you the best because he cares about you unlike your mother who is a complete selfish person. Then visit a therapist and family counselor to overcome the pain. Do it please !!! Good luck
OH MY GOD! THIS IS NOT A MOTHER, BUT A DEVIL !!! Put it in front of the computer to read your post here and the comments. I hope you think about what she did to you! Find a way to live apart from her! Good luck darling!
You don't need a psychoanalyst. You take the child, the man and in another city you start from scratch. You disappear and cut off all contact with your mother. You will restore peace and peace of mind on your own.
She is looking for a way to go out, not to become like her from this harassment, there is no way to calm yourself while you are subjected to this. The child should not watch such aggression, because who knows what is happening in his brain and can be unlocked as he grows up. Success!
I don't know what morals your mother taught you, but depending on people's opinions, she definitely taught you. What is this nonsense - people would talk, you would be offended, etc., I was just angry when I read them. Come on, wait to ruin your life for good, ruin your child's life as well (you've already started and you're on the right track) and then roar on the forums again. Your mother is a selfish, nothing. He just wants to wipe all his secrets all his life in you. Because you allow it. If you really want to solve your problem, immediately alert all the institutions on which its solution depends. File a complaint, make notes, and forget what nonsense people would say. If you want to live. And if you think about your child. Your mother - as if she is not in the world. Don't tell me you have nowhere to go. If you really want it, you will find - at least temporarily with a friend, there are so many empty houses in the villages. As long as you wish with all your heart, and you will see that in exactly two weeks you can live with your child away from her. As long as you put all the blame on her. You are big enough and a lot depends on your decisions. You just learned to justify everything to her. Take your life in your hands, fix your husband and live with him. This will restore your life. The other is grumbling, whining, complaining and nothing that can really change the situation. You just learned to justify everything to her. Take your life in your hands, fix your husband and live with him. This will restore your life. The other is grumbling, whining, complaining and nothing that can really change the situation. You just learned to justify everything to her. Take your life in your hands, fix your husband and live with him. This will restore your life. The other is grumbling, whining, complaining and nothing that can really change the situation.
Your mother definitely has a mental illness. This behavior is not typical of normal people. Run away, darling, talk to your husband again and do your best to get together when you love him and he is your support. And for your mother, go to the nearest psychiatric hospital and consult what to do / Or pay a consultation with a psychiatrist to advise you how to certify her, given that she can not be controlled and is a threat to you, even if only with mental harassment. Good luck dear, you are obviously a valuable person, take your life into your own hands and write here from time to time!
Instead of abandoning your mother - go to the doctor, there are specialists - psychologists, psychiatrists - help her! It is easiest to read to blame - even if it is a trauma from her childhood - will you leave her like a dog? Go to the doctor - no matter how late you or others here think - it's easiest to pounce, look around and have fun and scratch your tongues. Don't think this woman is feeling well- No she's not feeling! Take her to the doctor or go first and seek help - A friend in need is known! And not when there is some inconvenience to leave him like a dog - here I have read such statements. The next spit, but you will be one of your children in time. So act - you say yourself that there is a reason - but help to overcome it. Know that we are all mentally ill - some with one, some with another, and those who do not admit it - are the worst. Egoism - which during socialism was interpreted as a vice - is now interpreted as an advantage. Shamelessness too. Take care of your child, look after your wife or go back to him - pay attention to your mother - she is also a person, but a sick person and needs help, help her.
I agree with number 13. Every word is like pure gold, in the post of number 13. What you do today will come back to you tomorrow. The wheel is spinning. And let's not forget that mental illness is inherited. So the position of a disgusted daughter is stupid and short-sighted. Many people take care of their parents, there is a 17-year-old boy who takes care of a paralyzed mother. They are alone in the world. And I wash and wash and decide and walk with the cart. So all the minors who are disgusted by the "open wound" are unfortunate because they doom themselves to it. Watch your husband, but don't abandon your mother like a dog.
Hello to all who commented on my problem, thank you very much for the objective opinions! To Ms. / Mr. "comment 13", I will say the following, I always felt sorry for my mother during the period of my maturation, I was careful with her ... I tried to give her up alcohol and make her go to neurologist that she has a problem with the nerves .. she refuses, according to her there is no problem, her only problem is everyone else and I (she has no contact with other people except me, no one communicates with her and she does not communicate with anyone .. ) .. she is a built man of 63 years, can I make her realize her problem by force ... or do you think I should stay, sacrificing myself and most importantly my child, fighting with windmills ... trying to help her I ruined my life-that's enough .. the sacrificial lamb will not be my daughter .. this woman does not distinguish between good and evil .. her life is coming to an end, and my child's is just starting ... and having to choose ... I cut off my mother, as she did with her own - throwing her out on the street in a homeless shelter and later my grandmother died of grief in a nursing home (yes but unlike my mother my grandmother was a saint and was inseparable from my mother and look what she did to her ... and unlike my mother, I'm not like her, I have a heart and that's why I'm on this hall, but enough sacrifices, for a man who can't understand them and doesn't deserve them ..)! If I share everything she has done to me, you will not believe that such a person exists ... as she did with her- throwing her out on the street in a homeless shelter and subsequently my grandmother died of grief in a nursing home (yes but unlike my mother my grandmother was a saint and was inseparable from my mother and see what she did to her ... and unlike my mother, I'm not like her, I have a heart and that's why I'm in this situation, but enough sacrifices for a person who can't understand them and doesn't deserve them ..)! If I share everything she has done to me, you will not believe that such a person exists ... as she did with her- throwing her out on the street in a homeless shelter and subsequently my grandmother died of grief in a nursing home (yes but unlike my mother my grandmother was a saint and was inseparable from my mother and see what she did to her ... and unlike my mother, I'm not like her, I have a heart and that's why I'm in this situation, but enough sacrifices for a person who can't understand them and doesn't deserve them ..)! If I share everything she has done to me, you will not believe that such a person exists ...
Until number 13, don't try to instill in her a sense of duty, in this life no one owes anyone. As a mother, she had to raise her child in the best possible way. And after she reaches a certain age to leave her to fend for herself. What does this woman owe her mother, NOTHING. Do you think that she did not try to talk to her and help her or she just let her life develop in such a disgusting way ... The author of your letter is very sad, you lived as no one should live. The only thing that didn't really make me angry is that you put people's opinion over your child, because if you don't take some action, he will grow up like you, UNHAPPY. Don't you think that the neighbors see your suffering, do not hear the screams and do not see the scars on you. Do not you think, that your child tells his friends what's going on with you, and they in turn tell their parents. You left the father of your child, with whom you obviously lived well, to return to this AD. My father is a drunkard, just like you I gave thousands of chances, I wanted to know my granddaughter, but unfortunately this will not happen. I say his because I have already come to terms with the fact that he is a person who refuses to help himself and has no desire to change. Such is your case, if she does not want to be treated, there is no way to force her. If she is certified, you will take her to a clinic, and she will come out even more angry with you. Draw her a long m ... on and live your life, accept that your CHILD should be happy. Accept that you have to be calm. Give your husband back and give him love, because he and your child are the people who deserve it, not "YOUR MOTHER". Change your phones, locks and disconnect from it. If he continues to harass you, file a complaint with the police. THINK ABOUT YOUR CHILD, AND THAT IT SHOULD NOT LIVE YOUR LIFE.
Ms. / Mr. "comment 14", as I feel you are like my mother, angry at the whole world - criticizing and judging people, you do not see your own problems ... I did not see anything in common between my problem and this one, which you gave as an example (a disabled woman, cared for by her daughter), you wanted to say something, but you also don't know what exactly .. and about the mental illnesses that are inherited (my question is "is my mother schizophrenic" ), supposedly this is not diagnosed, so neither my mother has a proven problem, nor I inherited .. except that you are looking for a quarrel and looking to hurt, otherwise I did not see that your advice is useful and relevant! Don't worry, as you and 13 say, "everything comes back, life is a wheel" ....
Eeeeeh to the author, to the author. Why do you even ask, when you yourself have decided to dump your mother. But something deep inside is biting you, and that's your conscience. You want everyone to shout like clappers - "Come on, dump your mother." And you, with a cheerful step and fanfare, to slam the door to the "bright future" ... God will punish us. You can't build on someone else's misfortune, you can't just. Such are the laws of life and the laws of God. Well, do you wonder if these external manifestations are also internal ones? probably in her soul, she loves you, she probably doesn't want to do that, but some imbalance of substances in her body makes her behave like that. The body is a very smart machine, and if something doesn't work well, problems start. So it is with your mother. And there may be a preparation just a stone's throw away to make her meek, like a lamb. Not to mention that if she is registered, she will receive free medication, she may even be hospitalized ... It's so simple, when she has a crisis, call an ambulance, tell the doctors everything. From there, they begin the healing process! Why do you allow yourself to be affected by an external manifestation? This is not your mother, this is her illness. Just as diabetics are pale, just as blind people run into everything, so your mother shows signs of illness. tell the doctors everything. From there, they begin the healing process! Why do you allow yourself to be affected by an external manifestation? This is not your mother, this is her illness. Just as diabetics are pale, just as blind people run into everything, so your mother shows signs of illness. tell the doctors everything. From there, they begin the healing process! Why do you allow yourself to be affected by an external manifestation? This is not your mother, this is her illness. Just as people with diabetes are pale, just as the blind face everything, so your mother shows signs of illness.
Wow, № I haven't read 18 bigger nonsense than yours. So this young woman has to sacrifice her life for a mentally ill alcoholic. My mother can live up to 99 years - the author of how old she will be then - at 79 - and when her mother dies she will still get on with life as she wants? !! It is very easy to pretend to be moral and sublime behind the monitor, but is it really so. If you have been subjected to this systematic harassment for years, if your own family is almost broken, and your child lives in a threatening environment - would you still be blabbering on like crazy? !!
Author, nothing is over yet. Look for a way to save your marriage. Talk seriously with your husband and promise him that you will end any relationship with this woman. Change phone number and not? open the door if he is looking for you at home. Keep your distance from this alcoholic. If you are right that your husband understands you, etc., he will give you one last chance. Look for your father, too. You don't know exactly what happened then. I don't believe he just dumped you like that, he didn't have a chance to get parental rights as a man, your mother then dragged you to Greece and in fact you only know her "truth". I'm sure if you look for your father, you'll find out more about the whole truth. If you yourself are not like your mother, you can save your marriage. If not - woe to you and your poor child, because I do not see that you have provided him with a childhood other than your own.
Number 19 I'm not saying to stay with his mother, but at least to help with the hospitalization and to be registered. He can also control it remotely if he wishes. It is not necessary to "bae over her head around the clock". That's what I wanted to say, no one wants the "poor young creature" to be enslaved by "this old witch-bloodsucker" .... There are thousands of options - to go to psychiatry, to tell about his mother, to tell how the disease manifests itself and, to ask for a doctor, to come to her home. To call an ambulance when her mother falls into a crisis. Who has a desire - looking for ways. But people like you, number 19, are too busy with their arrogance as great. You are funny. You are blind people who lead blind people and sooner or later you will fall into a pit. No one has failed by leaving their parents in trouble. And this woman is in trouble.
I found this, I hope you find it useful. A quote from Dr. St. Haralanov: • What is the issue of the treatment of schizophrenics - are there any legal measures for their forced placement in psychiatry or should it be done voluntarily? - There is special legislation that requires patients to become dangerous to themselves and others in order to be able to take coercive measures. The relatives suffer the most from this. When they see that the disease is developing, but the patients refuse treatment, they do not know what to do and in most cases wait until the psychosis develops and the situation becomes unbearable. Involuntary treatment of a patient who is not aggressive or autoaggressive, even if psychotic, is not practiced. The reason is in the so-called protection of human rights. To the extent that psychosis prevents the patient from understanding the need for treatment, formal compliance with his will is, in fact, rather against his interest, because in the end he is again forced to undergo treatment, but at a later stage, when the condition is greatly aggravated and more difficult to treat. But such cases are relatively rare. In case of aggression, compulsory treatment is regulated. It can start as a matter of urgency, and the decision to continue it is made by the court. After the start of therapy, the psychotic state is quickly controlled and in most cases patients become critical within a few days. Then assist in treatment. Of course, the treatment of schizophrenia is not just compulsory. Today, coercion is an exception. If there are concerned relatives, the patient can be persuaded to try drug therapy and when he feels better, he continues to be treated voluntarily. Problems arise,
AUTHOR-Thank you all for the moral help you give me! And on "21" I will say that I do not experience myself as "the poor young creature", but I seek advice and help and one of the people who helped me is "19", which you are so eager to attack ... it is obvious that you are commenting on the problem me with open malice and you pick on me and everyone who tries to help me, defending "this old witch-bloodsucker" (I quote you verbatim, your irony is quite inappropriate)! I am a literate person and I understand the picture I am in, but I am very interested in you (the humane and "man of God"), for whom you present yourself, how would you act placed in my situation - you would hardly follow your advice. You obviously have your life drama, judging by the negativity you approach,
Author, you obviously need people to flatter you and encourage you, do what you set out to do. But you yourself are filled with a lot of bile, even though you are only 26. My first comment, you did not like and started calling me that I am "like your mother" "That I said nothing", I said, but there is no one to hear ... As it was said in a movie, everyone has the right to make mistakes, God be with you.
Truly a touching story. I myself had found myself in such a family with similar problems and because I chose to close my eyes in the hope that everything would resolve itself, but alas ... we came to a divorce quite quickly. After a while I recovered from everything I experienced and went on my way again. I remarried and now I have a happy marriage. But from time to time I meet my ex-partner and honestly I feel sorry for her. I see how she is ruined, how lonely and angry she is with the whole world and how she continues to look at me with hatred ... I am very sad that I did not try to help her, maybe she would change. But the regular scandals, fights, the incessant insults to me and my family, the infidelities (which I found out later) had simply broken me mentally and I did not have the strength to fight for her, my marriage and my health at the same time. If you want an opinion ... run and don't look back. There is no chance for this woman to ever change, she is able to turn her back on everything and everyone just to be "satisfied" with her favorite company, alcohol. I don't think she's schizophrenic, or rather an alcoholic. From everything you have written and from everything I have experienced, I have come to this conclusion. Therefore, my advice is to get rid of this woman faster, look for a therapist so that he can help you professionally, as well as your child, and don't even think about this woman anymore. Fix your life, move on. Good luck!!! From everything you have written and from everything I have experienced, I have come to this conclusion. Therefore, my advice is to get rid of this woman faster, look for a therapist so that he can help you professionally, as well as your child, and don't even think about this woman anymore. Fix your life, move on. Good luck!!! From everything you have written and from everything I have experienced, I have come to this conclusion. Therefore, my advice is to get rid of this woman faster, look for a therapist so that he can help you professionally, as well as your child, and don't even think about this woman anymore. Fix your life, move on. Good luck!!!
Your father is to blame for all this. She has also suffered a lot. Call him to the end, don't leave him alone. Let him see what he has done. You both (you and your father) need to help her.