Hello! I'm here for my girlfriend. She is 18 years old (me too) and is very shy. She does not communicate with almost anyone, she is constantly at home and is very shy. When I invite her for a walk or coffee, she constantly refuses and stays at home, and if I accidentally manage to take her out (with her mother's help), she doesn't talk at all, she doesn't care about anything and all she wants is to go home. at home. When we go to the store and the saleswoman asks her something, she doesn't say anything and I have to answer for her. She does not communicate with boys at all, there are a lot of boys who like her and want to meet her, but she pushes them away, avoids them and if she meets them somewhere she bows her head and runs straight past them. Once we went out for coffee (I asked her to come out for at least 2 hours) and two boys from my class also sat with us. I talked to them, I tried to include her in the conversation, but she was just playing a game on the phone. So far she has not had a boyfriend and does not even like anyone. The parents are great anyway. They let her go everywhere, they want her to have fun and live her life. I have known them for years and I know that they have never hit her or even touched her in any way. I'm worried because at school they started saying she was a lesbian and they might soon start making fun of her, and she won't stand it! What can I do to help her? Thanks! I'm worried because at school they started saying she was a lesbian and they might soon start making fun of her, and she won't stand it! What can I do to help her? Thanks! I'm worried because at school they started saying she was a lesbian and they might soon start making fun of her, and she won't stand it! What can I do to help her? Thanks!
Answers 13
Ask her directly. I don't know how you are friends and you don't know each other. And, in general, how do you communicate with her?
I was like that too. I didn't reveal myself to people, I had 1 best friend - S. I was just worried about not revealing myself. It's like a defensive reaction, because the girls in the class didn't know what friendship was and just talked behind their backs and surrendered. My then n. D. P. she was as shy as I was. We just hadn't revealed ourselves yet. One day one of the new students was mentally harassing me. He was constantly insulting and yelling at me. After 2, 3 days I managed to gather courage and tell the class. It turned out that the new girl envied me. Then other things happened. I signed up for a club. I performed there and found new friends, most of whom study at my school. Another new girl came in sixth grade. I will call him B. Now I was with my best friend B, C and another girl - T. With them little by little we share interests. Over time, I had a lot of fun with them and knew everything about them and they about me. I overcame many obstacles with them. Then I revealed myself and realized that these were my friends. They support me and do not use me. I gained confidence. I no longer cared who I was or what I was, because my best friends liked me with their quirks. However, C and T have yet to be revealed. For me, revelation is to discover who you are and to be yourself, to be open to the world without fear. Your girlfriend is shy. He doesn't talk much and doesn't go out. He must be afraid to reveal himself. No problem. A lot of people are like that. It has closed. You don't have to help her, "speak" in front of people. Let her handle herself, be more independent. That way she will learn to handle dignity and confidence on her own. Make her go out more and have fun. You can go dancing together or others. Be with her in difficult moments in her life, such as the harassment she seems to be subjected to by hearing that she is a lesbian. Maybe he is afraid of people's opinions or something. For example, I'm confident and I don't care what people think of me. Whatever the reason, talk to her. It seems to be very special. I wish you luck. There is time for everything.
I suggest, if something worries her or she is tense, to listen to music, read different books, watch movies or create
Your girlfriend is just an introvert.
What's there to do for her, man? The girl is fine, she just doesn't like people, that's all. Her parents are pretty stupid when they let her go to chalgoteki (they probably let her), but the fact that she doesn't walk is pretty good. And you are a big simpleton if you want to make an antisocial girl - social. Because of people like you, 95% of girls between the ages of 16-20 go to chalgoteks. Go to a social muffin and let the girls find you.
To number 1 - We know each other from children and how I communicate with her ... a little difficult, but it is very important to me! To number 5 - I do not know you, but you are not the person who will call me simple and call your parents stupid. I want to make her a little more social because in this state she can't defend herself at all and talk to strangers, even to school teachers! To number 3 - She's been like this since she was little and I didn't notice that she was tense for anything. He does not like to read and watch movies, and rarely listens to music! To number 2 - I tried to talk to her, but she just doesn't listen to me! Many thanks to all From the author
"He doesn't like to read and watch movies, and he rarely listens to music." It could be depression. I'm just making a guess.
Whatever happens, don't leave her. There is a problem but this does not mean that it is abnormal. She is shy and ashamed of her very much. It feels bad. It's good that you're thinking about her. Always be her support. This is exactly what God wants from us - to help each other. When you find a boyfriend, just don't forget her. Have pity on her. Coffee is not a good idea. There, people are artificial and give the impression that everything is fine, that they have the gift of speech and can always talk a lot, and that makes them poisoned. And when your girlfriend sees this and doesn't fit into this environment, she burns out - it's a defensive reaction. Take her to the movies ... warming up at the zoo. At the disco in any case.
To number 7: She's always been like that since she was a child. Sometimes I invite her home to watch a movie just the two of us and she refuses again. From the author
From No. 7 to the author: There is also chronic depression, more often it begins during puberty, but it can also be in early childhood, it is genetically set. A characteristic sign is that there is no favorite activity. Other signs are lack of energy, fatigue, lethargy, but they can be hidden, because "are not acceptable".
To number 8: I would never leave her. In fact, I currently have a boyfriend of about 2 months and I want to meet them, but she is ashamed. We went to the cinema 2-3 times (at my insistence) and I think she liked it, but every time I offer to go again (only both) she refuses!
To number 7: It seems to be as you say. How can I help her? From the author
From No. 7/10: Unfortunately I don't know. Depression is due to reduced levels of serotonin in the brain, read on the subject, but I really do not know and can not give advice on how it can be helped. And there is no way to know if your girlfriend has this problem. In principle, it is obvious when a person has no energy and does everything by force (not just communication, but absolutely everything) and when he only worries.