Hello, I'm a boy, 19 from the "big city" :). I can't explain why I'm not doing well in my relationships, obviously I have the problem, I'm wrong somewhere. I'm always nice, I've always taken care of the girl next to me, I've always been careful about what I say and how, because after all, women turn things around, and there's always something going on and on. And I attach quickly and easily, unfortunately, and after each separation I am overwhelmed with sadness, I feel parts of my heart break after each chick. Because, as I said, I easily become attached and get used to the person and everything fucks up. I recently started a girl a year older than me. We quarreled because I wrote to her when she had a fever and I was just worried. He told me we couldn't write to each other every day, etc. And there were no problems with that before the temperature rose haha we quarreled, he told me he wanted time, in order for her to pass, I calculated that 2 days were enough for such a small thing and I apologized to her 100 times, she didn't answer me, she didn't lift anything from me. And this for 2 weeks and in general I don't know if we are in a relationship or not, and I really like this girl and I want to be with her .. But alas, I'm obviously not doing something right :) As I said, I'm kind all the time , we laugh together, we talk to each other, we go somewhere and again dissatisfied :) I "suffocated" her and she didn't know if she was ready for a serious relationship. Do you think the reason is in me? Am I doing something wrong? And any ideas how to deal with this girl? I wrote everything, apologized, called, nothing. Apart from waiting for her in front of them, I don't know. And this for 2 weeks and in general I don't know if we are in a relationship or not, and I really like this girl and I want to be with her .. But alas, I'm obviously not doing something right :) As I said, I'm kind all the time , we laugh together, we talk to each other, we go somewhere and again dissatisfied :) I "suffocated" her and she didn't know if she was ready for a serious relationship. Do you think the reason is in me? Am I doing something wrong? And any ideas how to deal with this girl? I wrote everything, apologized, called, nothing. Apart from waiting for her in front of them, I don't know. And this for 2 weeks and in general I don't know if we are in a relationship or not, and I really like this girl and I want to be with her .. But alas, I'm obviously not doing something right :) As I said, I'm kind all the time , we laugh together, we talk to each other, we go somewhere and again dissatisfied :) I "suffocated" her and she didn't know if she was ready for a serious relationship. Do you think the reason is in me? Am I doing something wrong? And any ideas how to deal with this girl? I wrote everything, apologized, called, nothing. Apart from waiting for her in front of them, I don't know. ) I "suffocated" her and did not know if she was ready for a serious relationship. Do you think the reason is in me? Am I doing something wrong? And any ideas how to deal with this girl? I wrote everything, apologized, called, nothing. Apart from waiting for her in front of them, I don't know. ) I "suffocated" her and did not know if she was ready for a serious relationship. Do you think the reason is in me? Am I doing something wrong? And any ideas how to deal with this girl? I wrote everything, apologized, called, nothing. Apart from waiting for her in front of them, I don't know.
Answers 29
Most of our generation are not worth it. And some may not feel ready, not that they are not worth it. It depends. I started a serious relationship at the age of 19, before that I was a little scared of such proposals. It will happen, calm down. F22
You choose inappropriate chicks - beautiful and sexy I guess. You're an ugly fan to see if he escapes;)
Dude, you're just sticky ... and women don't like men like that!
I'm number 1, I'm referring to comment number 3. People are different. I love such nice boys!
Hello, a girl of 19 writes to you. Yes, as number 4 said, people are different, some girls like constant attention, and others do not like attention as much as space. Your girl is obviously the second type. And I fully understand her and I'll tell you why. I also dealt with a boy, and as he described himself, it was as if he were describing him. He, like you, cared for me, was terribly kind, roses, chocolates, and just like you, he bandaged himself very quickly, as he was attached to me. In general, I will not go into details. Yes, this is a unique attitude from boy to girl, I just repeat, every girl is different. At one time, as his constant attention gave me, I got tired of myself, in general, as a person, I got tired, I started to be irritated by his every move, his every word, just like you and you called the girl and he called me constantly, it burdened me even more and suddenly as I had feelings, they literally evaporated after he gave me all his attention. Another issue is that we talked, I explained to him the whole problem why I'm pulling and so on and in the end we are now friends, he does not deny that he still has feelings for me, but even as just a friend he continues with all the attention that maybe it means that he is such a person simply and even if I like everything in him, maybe this his attention makes me not want to be with him, so I have no personal space. As long as I've talked about myself that we talked I explained to him the whole problem why I pull and so on and in the end now we are friends, he does not deny that he still has feelings for me, but even as just a friend he continues with this all the attention, which may mean that he is such a person simply and even if I like everything in him, maybe this attention makes me not want to be with him, so I have no personal space. As long as I've talked about myself that we talked I explained to him the whole problem why I pull and so on and in the end now we are friends, he does not deny that he still has feelings for me, but even as just a friend he continues with this all the attention, which may mean that he is such a person simply and even if I like everything in him, maybe this attention makes me not want to be with him, so I have no personal space. As long as I've talked about myself
He obviously wants nothing more than friendship or has another! and with the constant calling and writing. things will not change. you push her even harder. reduce "kindness" because it is suffocating PS People are ungrateful! M / 22
Don't listen at all 3. You are a dream boy! Many girls dream of someone just like you - caring, loving, serious, polite. I just envy your girlfriend for having you, honestly. If he doesn't change his attitude towards you soon, look for another one. I know it sounds nasty, but there's no point in harassing yourself in a relationship where they don't appreciate you. You deserve love and happiness, not neglect. And remember that you are a dream boy. I wish you all the best! F, 21
In poker, the cards are visible after the 200,000 hand played. Write again after the 20th failed relationship, let's see if it really works for you.
Number 3 - Didn't women like men to be persistent? Or I may have confused the cliché. You don't seem to know your mentality either, do you?
I guess you're the son of a single mother? Unfortunately, there is obviously no one to tell you that the relationship with mom and catching boyfriends are radically different things. See now how the scheme works, it's not that complicated ... 1) a woman typically gets involved with a man with whom she can't achieve much more than getting pregnant. The reason is that she wants a desirable, narcissistic, dominant "player" who knows "what women want." That is, he is poisoned, he knows how to create the necessary distance (catch and release), he creates the necessary amount of drama, etc. If the man does not play exactly the role that the woman expects, she is never sure, and still needs space, time, etc. 2) So, the woman has found a man, he has played the "romantic theater", she is already "in love", makes him children, and follows the stage of "falling out of love". With this comes aggression towards men in general, entering the role of victim, etc. 3) here you come. You have to be mom's "husband" that she never had - kind, caring, responsible, naive, constantly thinking about mom and her needs ... to the extreme ... I mean, your mother makes you the antithesis of the man she made you with ... 4) You have a choice - either to become a "mom's man", which is the type of men that women only think they want, but we talk often - or you will die alone, either you will be caught by a user who never is, and will never love you ... or you will become a narcissistic "player" and thus close the cycle of human reproduction ... Simply put - the woman wants the man from whom there is a need, and he is the one he cannot have. She wants attention, but when she's gone. She wants tenderness, but when she is not there. She wants responsibility, but when she has it. This is the paradox of emotions that are conditioned by need. And not that this does not apply to many men, but in principle the man is the more rational of both sexes and you can find a man who is more tolerable ...
From the author: To comment number 3 How exactly am I sticky? I don't want to see each other every day, or write to each other 24/7 and call each other? When you are in a relationship, isn't it normal to write to the person at least 3-4 times a day or to talk to you 1-2 times a day? After all, isn't that why you're in a relationship, to listen to the other person how his day went, to listen to you, to support each other if there are problems? And not just sex, dinners, coffee muffins and the like.
Beta. This is your behavior. You flatter yourself, you walk behind them, you lick them. No. That's not how it's done. Know your value. No one likes passive behavior, no one and no one. There is a difference between polite behavior and fatness. Guess what you're doing. Manifestations of character - humor, distance, confidence. And remember - not everyone likes you as much as you like them. The connection is a game - a game of economics: what you offer and what you demand. If you offer only good behavior, your value tends to 0. If you show politeness, humor, appearance, character and confidence, the price jumps sharply.
In two days, call a hundred times to calculate how many minutes you were looking for her. That if not suffocation, I do not know what it is.
I would be curious to hear from you in 2-3 years :) I'm number 3. And I wish you luck! :)
Don't bother. He doesn't like you and has no intention of being in a relationship with you. You will always meet someone who likes you, right? In the same way, someone around you who can't touch you can fall silent.
You just haven't found the right one
From the author: I am not the son of a single mother. I don't know my real father, but I have a 6-year-old father, so it has nothing to do with family. And no, I didn't call her 100 times a day as someone says in the comments, I called her max 2 times, morning and evening or just one :) And I wrote to her once a day, it's that simple. The most interesting thing is that she pretends not to see what I'm writing to her, but actually sees everything from the drop-down menu, but that's another topic. I don't think I'm suffocating her or anything like that, as I said until 2 weeks ago, everything was fine and I didn't give her enough attention to "get bored" of her :) But thanks for the compliments from some of the commenters, but obviously so it doesn't work, obviously you have to be rude, humiliate them and be rubbish in order to be liked. :)
I'm number 1 and 4. As you can see, all kinds of people write to you. And it's normal. You see different opinions and accept those who are close to your understandings and feelings. Some are heard every few days, others every day, others are heard, seen and written every day. I have been in a relationship for more than 3 years - we have been living together since the first day of dating, respectively we see each other every day. We write to each other and hear each other every day when he is at work. Sometimes we hear each other 5 times a day, other times not 1. I notice that women from other couples would like to be like us. You will find the right girlfriend, whether now or in years to come. Always be yourself. You are valuable, but no one has obviously appreciated you yet.
Author, no, do not be rude and do not humiliate. You are a dream for many girls, decent ones, not whores. Most are of the second type. But don't change, you will become part of the garbage, which is more anyway. Stay decent, different from the others, and you will always find your decent girl. You are different, in that good sense, and the different always stands out in the crowd. But have more self-esteem. When you are not valued, just leave to give a chance to enter your life the one that would make you happy. Ignore the haters here. According to them, it is obvious what they are and how much they have seen love ... Be happy and loved! Number 7
Never pray for love dude! I used to be like you. Now I'm 28, I thought that every girl should be won with attention, with respect, but alas, this is NOT the case nowadays. Then I started to get rougher in the chats, more insistent, sexier to send my member to ask them for pictures and things changed and I went with the girls. They want sex first, then the feelings. The better you are, the more they get on your head. I really liked my current girlfriend, I went to her at first as if she called me here and there, then I went insolently, drove her to them but NOTHING! She cut me off because I fell in love and that's not ok ... it's gradually after 10 days, as I had told her I was in love and she cut me again and we were supposed to be just friends, I sent my penis as if on crap, then she sent me nude photos of her and we only had to have sex, but gradually we fell in love and now we are together: D and sex was lame for 2 months because of me, but still stayed with me. Attention is ok, but women also want you to be bad with them sometimes, to dominate them sexually, to insult them, they don't always like the attention, they get bored!
So you stop dealing with her and don't apologize for being nice because you look like a fool. She's the one who owes you an apology.
Don't ask a woman for advice on how to behave with women, these are emotional creatures that are not affected by rational approaches. You have to know what to do to keep their interest, with this behavior most of you will not keep them without commenting on whether it is good or not. Just as garbage is not good to behave, there is a more appropriate description. But the idea is for you to respond to the tenderness that the woman, with certain right actions on your part, will dream of giving you.
Author, very clearly, it is quite normal to hear several times a day. My wife and I hear each other 5-6 times when we quarrel. But it is possible, if you are a bastard, to have more success with the specific one.
So as not to confuse you any more, I will only tell you: women are attracted to self-confident men who do not need to call twice a day. For writing - yes, it is normal to send 1, 2 messages, but it depends on what. If they are full of questions "what are you doing right now" or "when will we see each other" this is not very normal. It means that you do not have your own life and activities. It is natural for a mature woman to be annoyed by this. Step back a little, go out more with friends, do things that are interesting to you and besides having more topics to talk about, we will no longer depend on her and this will strengthen your relationship.
Not to be rude and humiliate them, but you have to follow the carrot and stick rule. Create a model and things that you tend to accept in the relationship and those that are unacceptable, for example to tell you that she needs some time to be alone or to tell you not to call me that you are very annoying, in such cases directly end the relationship. When the chick decides to break the rules and wants to force herself and lead the parade, then the stick follows, namely the deprivation of her attention ... Stop looking for her, write like a photo of another girl, go out with friends and so on. feel it and start looking for you again, but then you say that if this happens again for the second time it will mean the end of the relationship and who is from where. Whether you like it or not is the relationship between the sexes, who understands it and can adapt has success. And of course you have something to offer ... To be social, to have the authority and respect of the rest of the people around you, to be financially stable and serious about relationships and of course humor, this is very important no woman likes boring men. The problem is that some men are born that way and can't change, and unfortunately they are left alone without it depending on them!
Stop exposing yourself and raising your self-esteem in some league! Stop looking for her, if she calls you, don't answer right away, pretend you don't care. Women don't like travelers who run non-stop on their butts and are crazy about them. That's why I dropped the last one. It wasn't messages, it was a phone call, it even called my friends to look for me. Complete laughter. You are certainly not your boyfriend with the girl in question.
What are these comments that envied his girlfriend. They are not boyfriends, obviously, the girl tells him that she is not ready for a relationship and disappears for two weeks, she can sleep with two or three during that time, they call your boyfriend. Tttttts
From the author: I decided to take the last step, namely to leave her a gift in front of them. It was something modest, candy, a plush toy he liked and a card (written personally). E ended up blocking from fb after remarks like "this spills the cup" and the like. And I think that was all. I tried what I could, I gave what I could, I didn't appreciate it. This to today's women obviously :) If I were personally I would call right away, to be happy .. There is no such thing .. Block and this is because it is easier to run away without saying anything than to stand face to face with the man and tell him everything as it is. Valor and courage are required, however .. Anyway .. Thank you all for the comments, advice and compliments. :)
Maybe you're really suffocating her, or you want everything to be too fast. It has happened to me too - we have been walking for about a month or two, and some big plans for our future have started, some promises. It's a little scary, let things unfold naturally. You have to be confident, but not completely rude to her. If you ignore it, or pretend it means nothing to you, it will go away and you will be left alone.