Hello! I am writing this to you in the hope of receiving advice and opinion, because there is no one to share it with so sincerely and to pour out my thoughts :) To start from the very beginning, I am 21 years old, good looking. I train regularly, study and work. So far so good. 1 year ago I ended a very serious relationship, which was with my first love, but things did not work out and we broke up. And now comes the harder part. I started a relationship with a very close friend of mine, and the arrangement at the beginning was just sex and nothing more. But with time and everything else, as it always happens, I fell in love, I tried to show him so many things and in the end I even told him, but he just doesn't want a relationship, he doesn't want anything to do with it. Anyway, I accepted him, and because I was so blind, I kept seeing him because that was the only way to be with him. Over time, I tried to find someone, I want to have someone next to me, to support me, to understand me, to respect me, but when things with a boy get out, I shudder and end all communication with him, just I can not.
I'm already really thinking that I'll be left alone after running, on the one who doesn't want anything to do with me. What's worse is that he actually tells me that he doesn't want and has no intention of sleeping with others while he's with me, he's jealous of me all the time, he explains to me, it's like we're in a relationship, which is ironic. I have already given up on being with him for something serious and I really don't know what to do, how to stop or how to win it. Please, if anyone has been in my situation to give advice, and even if not, again :) Thanks! but when things get out with a boy, I get numb and end all communication with him, I just can't. I'm already really thinking that I'll be left alone after running, on the one who doesn't want anything to do with me. What's worse is that he actually tells me that he doesn't want and has no intention of sleeping with others while he's with me, he's jealous of me all the time, he explains to me, it's like we're in a relationship, which is ironic. I have already given up on being with him for something serious and I really don't know what to do, how to stop or how to win it.
Please, if anyone has been in my situation to give advice, and even if not, again :) Thanks! but when things get out with a boy, I get numb and end all communication with him, I just can't. I'm already really thinking that I'll be left alone after running, on the one who doesn't want anything to do with me. What's worse is that he actually tells me that he doesn't want and has no intention of sleeping with others while he's with me, he's jealous of me all the time, he explains to me, it's like we're in a relationship, which is ironic. I have already given up on being with him for something serious and I really don't know what to do, how to stop or how to win it. Please, if anyone has been in my situation to give advice, and even if not, again :) Thanks! What's worse is that he actually tells me that he doesn't want and has no intention of sleeping with others while he's with me, he's jealous of me all the time, he explains to me, it's like we're in a relationship, which is ironic. I have already given up on being with him for something serious and I really don't know what to do, how to stop or how to win it. Please, if anyone has been in my situation to give advice, and even if not, again :) Thanks! What's worse is that he actually tells me that he doesn't want and has no intention of sleeping with others while he's with me, he's jealous of me all the time, he explains to me, it's like we're in a relationship, which is ironic. I have already given up on being with him for something serious and I really don't know what to do, how to stop or how to win it. Please, if anyone has been in my situation to give advice, and even if not, again :) Thanks!
Answers 6
Hi, I'm a girl your age. I have come across many times in situations where the boy gives me mixed signals, only now I have found a serious friend. What I learned is that if a man wants you and if he is a man on the spot - he will show it to you at any cost !!! It is difficult to find such people. My friend is younger than me, but he never pressured me and did not do various female numbers with mixed signals and such. Yes, at first other people told me about his feelings for me, I didn't believe, and even then I didn't want a serious relationship, but after I found out, he didn't deny, but kept looking for me, wanting to get to know me without pushing for relationship or even just sex. He was waiting for me. He respects me a lot, it's always been that way. And eventually I gave in and fell in love with him and now we are together. Before that, for many years, I loved a boy we had no relationship with, because he was constantly giving me mixed signals. I did not give up, however, but in the end nothing happened. He was ashamed of me in front of his friends, if he talked only to me he was different, but if there were other people he didn't seem to know me. And only now I wonder how I have been blinded for so long. But it was only now that I saw this different attitude. Yes, I've been with decent guys before, but the attitude wasn't like it is now, it's on a completely different level now. There are no restrictions, we have no scandals about nonsense and such. It is best to temporarily withdraw from all men and such, because the more desperately you search, the more it shows and things will fail. At one time I was desperately looking, but no one paid attention to me and I went crazy. Go out more with friends, maybe even alone, if you don't mind, focus on yourself. For 1 year I did not deal with men, sex or anything at all, I was just fed up with fleeting relationships or female men and eventually the right one found me alone. It just literally doesn't make sense now, these mixed signals are child's play.
I'll tell you something that's true, but you won't like it at all. I hope you have the sense to understand me correctly and to really think. You tell us you want understanding, love and respect. I understand, everyone wants the same things. Do you give them to yourself? Do you show understanding, love and respect for yourself? Because, not that anything, but for a long time you continued to put feelings to a person who has clearly told you that he does not want a relationship with you. You know each other, but you still made the arrangement for privileged friends. You can't convince me that in the beginning you didn't suspect that you would end up in love and alone. The words you used tell me that you had at least a little doubt about the end of your story. And why did he do it? In the beginning it was not love, you had no emotional motives. Something else, which I didn't like at all in your story and I won't spare you, you run away yourself when a man wants you to go out on dates normally and have a real relationship. You say you can't and I believe you because you don't sound ready for a new relationship either. At least not a real relationship. You're not stupid at all, I don't make such hints to you and I don't think that about you. I think you are very confused and have not given yourself time to go through your separation. I don't think you understand and love each other. You know? You have no problems with love or men at all, you have problems with yourself. I sincerely advise you to stay alone and think. No one can do you any worse than what you are doing to yourself right now. You let some guy play you like a puppet. Is that what you think of yourself, do you respect yourself so much? Some man uses you for sex, although he is aware of your feelings and then goes with the trick to make you jealous and pretend to be worried. Don't be attached to his nonsense at all. It is very clear that he will be jealous. He doesn't do it out of love, he does it because he likes you to fall for him and you like him. And does he even have anyone else to sleep with? You can't be impressed that he sleeps only with you (that's what he says) if he doesn't have the option to sleep with others. Where did you go to analyze uncovered words? I see that you have more or less a sober idea of the situation, and that is why I am telling you all these rude things. I guess you need to hear it from another person. Tighten up. Be alone until you feel ready to be with someone. It won't take you a lifetime, you won't die alone in a secluded house with 10 cats in the yard. You don't need a man, you don't need a friend right now. You need yourself to get a little in rhythm and clarify with the one in the mirror. Don't cling to mold like a straw drowning man. This one of yours is not reliable. It offers you nothing, it gives you nothing essential. Remove it like a wax mask. You pull sharply, shout and roar, then pass by and wear dresses without pantyhose at will. As long as you continue to sleep with him and love him with your ears, you will still feel bad and you will always be angry with yourself. And this will be repeated many times, if you keep going upside down in similar relationships, the end of which began before the beginning. I can't blame you for anything, I understand. I was not in your situation, but I also loved and after the separation I was not on my own. I fell in love with people who didn't deserve a look. I hurt myself because I didn't love myself and I didn't think for my own good. Nor are you stupid, nor should you blame yourself for not feeling well and failing to get together on time. It happens to everyone. We have our moments, we are human and it is normal. With you, the situation has reached this critical level and you can only start thinking about yourself from today and stop doing nonsense.
First fix your spelling and then admire the boys.
Man was created to look where he could not. Where it is forbidden. Where he is denied. The ego is attracted to this.
I just want to congratulate number 2 - this is the best and most meaningful comment I've read in shared. net for this year, and maybe in general. I'm absolutely delighted. I hope the author reads and makes sense.
The terms "just sex and nothing more" are either nonsense or a pretext. The thing is that, in essence, sex is the highest stage of the relationship, of love, and not, as they say lately, that sex was not an occasion for dating ... It is the end, not the beginning. Look now where you have taken her - no fish, no cancer, no joy, no sorrow. Try to ignore him for a while, he may come to his senses. Or there is another option - you tell him openly: "Look what, for me things have deepened, so either we will make a serious relationship (respectively, a family in perspective), or bye. Think for a few days and give me an answer!" more risky, but you will quickly clarify the situation, which can otherwise be turbid for months and years. And just wasting your time and missing out on potential opportunities.