Hello! My story is as follows: I am a single woman of 25 years and a year ago a new colleague came to my workplace, who is 13 years older than me, very smart and kind. At the beginning, when we met, we just greeted each other out of politeness when we met in the office, but I noticed that he had very quickly found my profile on social networks and sent me an invitation for friendship, which I accepted. Time passed and we started writing to each other, he called me first. We wrote to each other mostly at work and it was always outside working hours. After a while, we started writing more friendly, not just at work. We also spent a lot of time working together. He kept coming to hang out with me as a child. We discussed topics that were interesting to both of us, we shared some issues and we started getting closer, but we did not go to meetings outside working hours. When he didn't see me during work breaks or when I had to leave early, he always wrote to me after work and asked me where I had been. He also defended me in disputes with colleagues. He was always on my side. I thought he was a good person and somehow a friendship was just forming between us. But suddenly, as we wrote to each other, he kept complimenting me, he kept telling me how nice he was to me, how hardworking I was and how I always did my job well, he told me that I was good, beautiful, smart, charming, great, amazing and a bunch more like that. Of course, it was good for me to hear such things, and I began to look at him not just as a colleague, but as a man with whom I could have a more serious relationship. We kept writing to each other, but I did not have the courage to take a step forward and waited for him to take it. At one point it happened that we wrote to each other at any time, and when I happened to write to him in the evening, sometimes he would back off. I thought he wanted time for himself, in which there is nothing wrong, and I avoided looking for him late. But he always found a way to look for me, again at any time. Then he pulled away again, then he looked for me, I looked for him, and he pulled away again, and this thing happened over and over again. I didn't know anything about his personal life and I started to think he was engaged or married, and he knew I was single. After another withdrawal, I asked him directly. He said he wasn't committed, he just wanted time for himself, as I thought. However, the story of the retreat was repeated, and then I asked him again. Then he said he was engaged and we agreed to remain friends. However, he continued with those compliments and writing at all times. He wanted to stay with his girlfriend, to continue spending time together at work, to write to each other, but he was worried about being at any time, because it was not right for such a beautiful girl to write to him all the time. In the end, after all the conversations, we agreed not to write to each other all the time, or if we write to each other only for work, but I can't understand what's going on. I know some of you will probably tell me that I'm imagining things and that I immediately thought he wanted to have something to do with me, but wouldn't any other girl in my position think the same thing? What could be the reason for his behavior? What advice would you give me? How do I proceed from here? Please people who will pick on me, just do not write. Thanks in advance.
Answers 10
I wonder and yeast every day and I can't believe my ears. Abe, sun, don't you have such a sense of things? What he does is find a branch if the current one breaks. Wasn't there a female intuition, did what happened disappear? I do not know en masse became 20-25 years old stock them and tie at 35 are not men thick emphasize men your age? Abe fellow men where have you been? Can you let your uncles (mostly in a relationship or with a family) steal and humiliate young girls while you sleep and wait, even anger catches me. See soul advice from me personally. Leave it alone Do you work together first if things don't work out (possibly in the distant future) you will have to watch and avoid each other every day, second sooner or later as you continue you will sink you have nowhere to go and you will suffer, not you deserves. And one more thing there are enough articles in this wonderful site with similar situations and there you can see the outcome of what happens. Always the same
Abe people, ask someone at the beginning, find out if he has a girlfriend / wife, otherwise you just waste your time and what comes out he pumps his self-confidence, he has a reserve, and you hope, no sense.
I counted the word "write" 12 times. That is, your relationship with this man is entirely epistolary. You write to yourself. I don't understand why mature people prefer this form of communication, instead of just talking, but I may not be up to date with modern ways of communication. And to your question: you are worried about a relationship that practically does not exist. The fact that you have exchanged opinions on social networks does not even make you friends, let alone anything more. If this person wanted a different relationship, he would have taken the first step a long time ago and, believe me, it would not have been through the computer. My opinion is that the man does not show any special interest in you. You probably entertain him in some way and he unloads by drawing in one order or another.
№3, the author mentioned that they often spend time at work. The relationship of the person in question does not seem to me to be in its heyday, and his colleagues may know that he is committed and not so comfortable at work to express his emotions towards the author. However, if he lives with another woman, he will hardly be able to date. I don't think you force things. Just let it work, and don't hide your hopes.
"I know some of you will probably tell me that I'm imagining things and that I immediately thought he wanted to have something to do with me, but wouldn't any other girl in my position think the same thing?" yes and I immediately thought he wanted casual sex. "What could be the reason for his behavior?" - you pointed out the reason yourself, it remains to take the trouble to learn the details of his relationship, but not from his false mouth. "How do I proceed from here on?" - have fun, study men, be observant. You will meet many more such scattered specimens in your life - learn to recognize them, it will be of great benefit to you when you already have a serious person next to you, because such do not give up even when they know that you are married with children, etc. Last but not least I want to say that I have 2 acquaintances, on one the ex-husband is 12 years older, on the other with 13, on one the marriage has lasted 3 years, on the other 5. I am sure that now you will be given many examples of happy couples with such a huge (in my opinion) difference, but I do not believe it, she said "She always came to hang out with me as a child." - Well, your child for him, he can manipulate you as he pleases, an ice cream, cotton candy and you're ready for any games. If you still don't understand what I want to tell you - you have nothing to do with such a person, I will touch you! - Well, you are a child for him, he can manipulate you as he wants, an ice cream, cotton candy and you are ready for any games. If you still don't understand what I want to tell you - you have nothing to do with such a person, I will touch you! - Well, you are a child for him, he can manipulate you as he wants, an ice cream, cotton candy and you are ready for any games. If you still don't understand what I want to tell you - you have nothing to do with such a person, I will touch you!
Zorlem you push yourself into the clutches of the played whores, and then you wonder where you came from.
To the person number 5 - How to learn details about his relationship? I have no mutual friends with him who are close enough to reveal details to me and know that this will not reach him. I tried to find out something only from his profiles on social networks, but I can only guess .. The author
Author, I'm number 5, you don't even need to know the details of his relationship, the very fact that the gentleman weaves in two looms is enough for his total playing. By details of his relationship, I meant that it may not be just a relationship, but marriage, children, etc. It remains to read here the topics written by women who have agreed to play the second violin. Even if the gentleman is still a bachelor, you should still think about why he was left alone until that age, are you the luckiest to meet the valuable man who knew you would show up and has been waiting for you all his life. The problem for both women I wrote about was that their husbands were used to yelling and didn't stop even after marriage and a child. The choice is yours, but it seems to me that you let yourself be led by the nose, stars will come down for a while longer,
Back to №5 / 8 - It may sound weird, but it's annoying. I don't know if this is just some initial impression of mine or if it really is, I can't say for sure. He didn't get anything from me except normal human treatment, he didn't take my stars off. For several months now, my relationship with him has become friendly, but in a strange way pleasant. And when I began to doubt that he wanted anything more, and he backed away a few times, I decided to ask him directly what was going on, precisely because I didn't want to be a second violinist. Why did he even tell me he was tied up, when he could turn me on his little finger? I can't know anything for sure anyway, because I don't have any friends with him that I can trust. And if he wanted casual sex, wouldn't he try harder to get it? Whether he's engaged, married or just engaged, he can always say they kept him at work, which happens often, and do whatever he wants outside the workplace without his girlfriend knowing about it. He shared some of his not-so-serious problems with me, but he never touched on his love life. Is it possible that there are some problems he doesn't want to talk to me about? Thanks for the comments!
Child, will you allow me to address you like this because you are younger than my daughter. I'm number 5/8, but that's just for the record. It's hard for me to explain to you what I see from the side - I couldn't explain it to my daughter, or to you? My daughter had also fallen in love with someone from another city, he also denied his relationship at first, but then confirmed that there was one there, but she was in a third city. I have never used such techniques in my relationships with women, and I cannot know why other men use them, much less why they are attached to their wives. With you, the situation is more complicated because you see this man every day and he has the opportunity to manipulate you - in my opinion, one of the manipulations is his feigned shyness, the other is to make you a cat, but at the same time not to let you get too close. the third is not to take down your stars because he knows others have done it, and you may not bite. I am a pragmatic person, let's leave the reasoning aside and approach your case purely mechanically (I will also say about my daughter's case) - you are 25, he is 38, quite hypothetically if you have a child tomorrow (because no one creates a relationship) with the intention to separate), after 19 years you will be 44 and he will be 57, you will somehow do the prom, then there is a study, and with it your parental commitment does not end. Now tell me, how do you imagine things? The daughter spent almost a year in vain expectations, she could not answer a simple question "If you get together, who will leave his job to go to another in another city?". It turned out that there was a boy for her, about her age, about her status, more or less why he wants from life, more or less a man with whom they fit in, and what they will build is a matter of time, which they both have more or less equally. Yes, I know that there are dozens of examples of successful relationships with a similar difference to yours, but I do not believe in fairy tales, but in my eyes - I mentioned to you about the two women I know. I believe that you will meet the right person, but before that you have to shake off the heretical thoughts that a 38-year-old man is alone because he is just shy - to see him, I will not believe it, and even if it is true why you is such. I know that thinking alone doesn't work, but at least try to think and don't let the pink glasses determine how your life will go from here on out. Of course I will be happy if in a year you overthrow me, and after another 5 again, after 10 I dare not think. more or less a man they fit in with, and what they will build is a matter of time, which they both have more or less equally. Yes, I know that there are dozens of examples of successful relationships with a similar difference to yours, but I do not believe in fairy tales, but in my eyes - I mentioned to you about the two women I know. I believe that you will meet the right person, but before that you have to shake off the heretical thoughts that a 38-year-old man is alone because he is just shy - to see him, I will not believe it, and even if it is true why you is such. I know that thinking alone doesn't work, but at least try to think and don't let the pink glasses determine how your life will go from here on out. Of course I will be happy if in a year you overthrow me, and after another 5 again, for 10 I dare not think. more or less a man they fit in with, and what they will build is a matter of time, which they both have more or less equally. Yes, I know that there are dozens of examples of successful relationships with a similar difference to yours, but I do not believe in fairy tales, but in my eyes - I mentioned to you about the two women I know. I believe that you will meet the right person, but before that you have to shake off the heretical thoughts that a 38-year-old man is alone because he is just shy - to see him, I will not believe it, and even if it is true why you is such. I know that just thinking doesn't work, but at least try to think and don't let the pink glasses determine how your life will go from here on out. Of course I will be happy if in a year you overthrow me, and after another 5 again, after 10 I dare not think. which both have more or less the same. Yes, I know that there are dozens of examples of successful relationships with a similar difference to yours, but I do not believe in fairy tales, but in my eyes - I mentioned to you about the two women I know. I believe that you will meet the right person, but before that you have to shake off the heretical thoughts that a 38-year-old man is alone because he is just shy - to see him, I will not believe it, and even if it is true why you is such. I know that just thinking doesn't work, but at least try to think and don't let the pink glasses determine how your life will go from here on out. Of course I will be happy if in a year you overthrow me, and after another 5 again, for 10 I dare not think. which both have more or less the same. Yes, I know that there are dozens of examples of successful relationships with a similar difference to yours, but I do not believe in fairy tales, but in my eyes - I mentioned to you about the two women I know. I believe that you will meet the right person, but before that you have to shake off the heretical thoughts that a 38-year-old man is alone because he is just shy - to see him, I will not believe it, and even if it is true why you is such. I know that thinking alone doesn't work, but at least try to think and don't let the pink glasses determine how your life goes from here on out. Of course I will be happy if in a year you overthrow me, and after another 5 again, for 10 I dare not think. and in my eyes, I mentioned to you the two women I know. I believe that you will meet the right person, but before that you have to shake off the heretical thoughts that a 38-year-old man is alone because he is just shy - to see him, I will not believe it, and even if it is true why you is such. I know that thinking alone doesn't work, but at least try to think and don't let the pink glasses determine how your life will go from here on out. Of course I will be happy if in a year you overthrow me, and after another 5 again, for 10 I dare not think. and in my eyes, I mentioned to you the two women I know. I believe that you will meet the right person, but before that you have to shake off the heretical thoughts that a 38-year-old man is alone because he is just shy - to see him, I will not believe it, and even if it is true why you is such. I know that just thinking doesn't work, but at least try to think and don't let the pink glasses determine how your life will go from here on out. Of course I will be happy if in a year you overthrow me, and after another 5 again, for 10 I dare not think. but at least try to think and don't let the pink glasses determine how your life goes from here on out. Of course I will be happy if in a year you overthrow me, and after another 5 again, for 10 I dare not think. but at least try to think and don't let the pink glasses determine how your life goes from here on out. Of course I will be happy if in a year you overthrow me, and after another 5 again, for 10 I dare not think.