Hello, A young man, 23, who has big disagreements with his family about the meaning of life, writes to you. To begin with, my relatives are elderly people and I am their child, they love me very much, but they also cross a line. For them, the meaning of life is to have a wife and children. This is the most important thing, only for this it is worth living. And I want to have children one day, but not now, I don't feel ready, neither in life, nor financially, at all. They tell me, don't think so, we will take care of the children, we will help. I ask them - should I make these children for you or for myself Their answer is - that because of us, of course, you have to make us happy with grandchildren. They keep saying - this acquaintance has grandchildren, he became a grandfather, that grandmother ... We want too. A friend got married and they immediately - he has already succeeded in life, he is a few steps ahead of you. And they keep pushing me. They also tease me that if I don't get married by 25-6, I will never find a wife. I am told not to pursue a career and business, money is dirty and that is not the meaning of life. I wanted to go to a brigade in the USA 2 years ago, I didn't go because of them, because they told me that if I went to the USA, they wouldn't survive it (they are big Russophiles and hate everything American). Of course I didn't go (although I really wanted to), if something happened to them, I would never forgive myself that it was because of me. And this constant insinuation about the meaning of life, about the woman and the children, has already begun to weigh on me. We have talked a lot on the subject, but no, they have some beliefs and they burden me with them. I'm already starting to think I'm not the wrong thing. So, is this the meaning of life? Work from 9 to 18, woman and children up to 25 and so on until the End.
Answers 9
Your parents want you to have a quiet life. They themselves are not used to taking risks and therefore do not want you to start your own business. This is the case with many people born before 1989. Then almost every one of these people expects foreign investors to appear from somewhere. The meaning of life for each person is different. It is best for you to discover for you what the meaning of life is. If you ask different people they will tell you about the meaning of life, but this will not apply to you.
I understand your parents, I understand you. On the one hand, every parent wants to have grandchildren, because in every normal person there is an instinct to procreate. You are the only child and therefore their only hope to continue their name and genes. But being a child is their problem. That's why I plan to have 3-4 children in case some of them decide not to start a family and children, which is becoming more and more modern, unfortunately. On the other hand, I understand you too, because at your age I also thought about education and going out with friends, not about getting married and having children. It's not bad that your parents are more family-oriented, nor is it bad that you have ambitions for something more. You need to find the golden mean in communicating with them. Tell them that for you, the meaning of life is to have a family, but you want to develop first, so that you can provide good conditions for your future children. Kind of, you have to reassure them that one day you will give them grandchildren, but not as fast as they want.
I understand your parents, I understand you. On the one hand, every parent wants to have grandchildren, because in every normal person there is an instinct to procreate. You are the only child and therefore their only hope to continue their name and genes. But being a child is their problem. That's why I plan to have 3-4 children in case some of them decide not to start a family and children, which is becoming more and more modern, unfortunately. On the other hand, I understand you too, because at your age I also thought about education and going out with friends, not about getting married and having children. It's not bad that your parents are more family-oriented, nor is it bad that you have ambitions for something more. You need to find the golden mean in communicating with them. Tell them that for you, the meaning of life is to have a family, but you want to develop first, so that you can provide good conditions for your future children. Kind of, you have to reassure them that one day you will give them grandchildren, but not as fast as they want.
You let yourself be manipulated and blackmailed. At 23 it is time to set the priorities in your life, otherwise you will not get out of their care until 40. Go to the United States, you will see the world, you will make more money and you will harden yourself in the fight against difficulties. Nothing will happen to them, they will get used to it. Travel, if you work, get a place to stay, generally detach yourself from their influence. After all, your life is yours, let them watch theirs. Sometimes it is best for yourself to be more selfish and not comply with their desires.
The meaning of life is to live it and be happy. This includes family, work, friends, entertainment, travel and whatever else you can think of. I fully understand you, because at your age my family and children were seen somewhere far in the future. Besides, it is normal for a person of your (and any) age to want to travel, to work, to earn money, to see the world. After all, the world does not end with the neighboring city. However, yours are older people with different understandings and it is normal for generations to clash. It is normal for their generation to get married early, live with their parents and repeat their lives. However, it is up to you to set a healthy limit to stop dictating your life. That they would not survive going on a brigade to the United States is nonsense and pure emotional manipulation. Not only will they experience it, but they will get used to it, that you are an adult, your life is yours and you do not make decisions in it. I will not comment on their political beliefs, they are theirs, as long as they do not impose them on you. Also forbid them to talk to you about marriage, when you decide, you will introduce them to your future wife. Let them know that in this way they are not helping you, but imposing harassment. In general, it is high time to set some reasonable limits, otherwise you will be forced to live their life, which I guess you will not like.
This is the meaning for many people, but with this pressure, apart from being gay to make you, I don't know what they will achieve. I have no words for them to be so limited and narrow-minded. Don't listen to them at all, poisonous work. You don't have to give them grandchildren. Neither now nor ever. Some people do not want children, do not have them and are happy. When they want children, to adopt toddlers or to become a foster family, to get better at all, you don't have to think about their problems. If only they had given birth to many children in the past, so that now at least grandchildren can come from somewhere, and not only on your shoulders! They will help, I know how much they help ... That's why my mother sees her grandson only on holidays, because she is under a lot of pressure to help. If they continue, bring them a gypsy and tell them you love each other!
It is very dangerous to follow someone else's idea of happiness. In the end, you are left with the feeling that you are brutally deceived.
Your parents control and manipulate you! If you continue to comply with them for everything, nothing good awaits you. Separate yourself and stop giving them an account of where you are going and what you are doing, now is the time for you to understand what makes sense and joy to you, to pursue your dreams. You don't have to make them grandchildren, look after your life and when you decide to start a family - then.
Your parents interfere a lot with you and will interfere with you even after the wedding. And no woman will tolerate being confused. And nothing will happen to them if you go to America. Your life is yours, live it as you see fit, because you will compromise for them, you will marry for them, then you will regret it. Not to mention how much money you will need for the family. One virus and BGN 200 are in the pharmacy. Prepare for large electricity bills, fixed contingencies, buying clothes every month for a year. Car, apartment, your wife will also want this and that. The expenses start from the pregnancy, until the birth you will spend 1000 BGN for examinations, then another 1000 for childbirth, if she wants not to give birth like the gypsies. If there is no breast milk, the formula is BGN 20-30 and lasts for a few days. Diapers are 6 per day for a minimum of 2 years. Do not list all types of strollers until the child walks normally and does not get tired. Then it starts with scooters, rollerblades, wheels. Raising a child is not for people who do not make money at all. So go to America, raise money and don't count on two adults helping you raise a child. Grandparents really want a grandchild, but when he shows up, you can't leave him and help you, because they have to pick him up, change his clothes, wash him after every meal, diapers, etc. things that the old people don't cope. And your future wife may not agree with their upbringing and may not want to leave it to them. Or maybe the plan is for you to bring the woman to them. In general, it smells like conflicts here, if you don't put things in their place from now on. Then it starts with scooters, rollerblades, wheels. Raising a child is not for people who do not make money at all. So go to America, raise money and don't count on two adults helping you raise a child. Grandparents really want a grandchild, but when he shows up, you can't leave him and help you, because they have to pick him up, change his clothes, wash him after every meal, diapers, etc. things that the old people don't cope. And your future wife may not agree with their upbringing and may not want to leave it to them. Or maybe the plan is for you to bring the woman to them. In general, it smells like conflicts here, if you don't put things in their place from now on. Then it starts with scooters, rollerblades, wheels. Raising a child is not for people who do not make money at all. So go to America, raise money and don't count on two adults helping you raise a child. Grandparents really want a grandchild, but when he shows up, you can't leave him and help you, because they have to pick him up, change his clothes, wash him after every meal, diapers, etc. things that the old people don't cope. And your future wife may not agree with their upbringing and may not want to leave it to them. Or maybe the plan is for you to bring the woman to them. In general, it smells like conflicts here, if you don't put things in their place from now on. that two adults will help you raise the child. Grandparents really want a grandchild, but when he shows up, you can't leave him and help you, because they have to pick him up, change his clothes, wash him after every meal, diapers, etc. things that the old people don't cope. And your future wife may not agree with their upbringing and may not want to leave it to them. Or maybe the plan is for you to bring the woman to them. In general, it smells like conflicts here, if you don't put things in their place from now on. that two adults will help you raise the child. Grandparents really want a grandchild, but when he shows up, you can't leave him and help you, because they have to pick him up, change his clothes, wash him after every meal, diapers, etc. things that the old people don't cope. And your future wife may not agree with their upbringing and may not want to leave it to them. Or maybe the plan is for you to bring the woman to them. In general, it smells like conflicts here, if you don't put things in their place from now on. And your future wife may not agree with their upbringing and may not want to leave it to them. Or maybe the plan is for you to bring the woman to them. In general, it smells like conflicts here, if you don't put things in their place from now on. And your future wife may not agree with their upbringing and may not want to leave it to them. Or maybe the plan is for you to bring the woman to them. In general, it smells like conflicts here, if you don't put things in their place from now on.