It Doesn't Last ... How Do You Improve Your Relationship With Your Parents?

   Here's how they manage - when you get 18-19 years old and finish high school, you take out with two suitcases and talk on the phone once a week. It helps and there will be no better child than you! I am so and I do not regret - I support myself since I was 18, I studied and achieved everything on my own. There is no one better than me for my parents. Try it too! Good luck

   Obviously you have a conscience and your conscience speaks - that's good. Start from there - have as a starting point the fact that your parents are before you - they gave birth to you (without them you would not be there). If you agree with this first, then ask yourself the question - why does my mother not like me? After all, she gave birth to me (her life was in danger because of you to have you) and she wants something good to come out of me, what am I doing to make this good happen? If you do not find the answer yourself in realizing what your mother wants from you and what you are doing to have agreement and love between you, then sit down directly and talk about these things. How she imagines your life and what she demands of you. Then tell her your point of view. Everything can be resolved this way, your views may not match, but the one of you who is wrong may have a solution in a favorable development for both parties. Usually both sides are wrong, so one should not judge anyone but oneself (for disobedience). By default, children obey their parents (and for life). Another thing, if you are a minor - let your parents decide what is good for you - you are just still in a period of addiction and still learning. You can talk to your mother about how she got along with her parents when she was your age. And something very important - never impose yourself ON YOUR PARENTS! It is an absolute mistake to think and almost look forward to "independence" at the age of 18. What is an 18-year-old girl or boy - a potential victim of the vortex and meat grinder called "civilization". There was a saying at one time "from the thorn to the hawthorn that it is taller" - not to be yours. Many such airbags then cried about the past life of mom and dad. You obviously love your mother, say that you don't want her to feel unhappy and you care when she is (unhappy). But also say that you can talk in a human way, without accusations, shouting, anger, etc. - with the cards down on the table, and none of you should forget that everyone is a human being and has nerves, limits and disadvantages. I think if you approach it this way and everyone is kind to the other, you will find a common language and God forbid you forgive each other's insults and sins and start loving yourself truly. May God help you. Many such airbags then cried about the past life of mom and dad. You obviously love your mother, say that you don't want her to feel unhappy and you care when she is (unhappy). But also say that you can talk in a human way, without accusations, shouting, anger, etc. - with the cards down on the table, and none of you should forget that everyone is a human being and has nerves, limits and disadvantages. I think if you approach it this way and everyone is kind to the other, you will find a common language and God forbid you forgive each other's insults and sins and start truly loving each other. May God help you. Many such airbags then cried about the past life of mom and dad. You obviously love your mother, say that you don't want her to feel unhappy and you care when she is (unhappy). But also say that you can talk in a human way, without accusations, shouting, anger, etc. - with the cards down on the table, and none of you should forget that everyone is a human being and has nerves, limits and disadvantages. I think if you approach it this way and everyone is kind to the other, you will find a common language and God forbid you forgive each other's insults and sins and start truly loving each other. May God help you. without accusations, shouting, anger, etc. - with the cards down on the table, and none of you to forget that everyone is a human being and has nerves, limits and shortcomings. I think if you approach it this way and everyone is kind to the other, you will find a common language and God forbid you forgive each other's insults and sins and start truly loving each other. May God help you. without accusations, shouting, anger, etc. - with the cards down on the table, and none of you to forget that everyone is a human being and has nerves, limits and shortcomings. I think if you approach it this way and everyone is kind to the other, you will find a common language and God forbid you forgive each other's insults and sins and start loving yourself truly. May God help you.

   Drop it so you don't care, and at the funeral one day - don't even come. :) Mother.

   Author, there is a reason for this situation. You didn't look for her, you complained about your mother. You don't live together - you said it - why, what is the reason, how old are you. You're also a vent, aren't you? And if you've thought about why he treats you like that, maybe you have a guilt that you don't want to realize. Maybe for her you are her closest friend, she gave her whole life and energy to you and she fought for you. You write that you don't live together - well, and did you look for her, did you want to share to make her happy or did you burden her only with tension, and she in turn did everything possible not to be deprived of anything - maybe she she fought to support you, but you were dissatisfied and had only demands from her and you are ungrateful for what she has done for you. Yes, some say that all parents are obliged and you did not want to give birth to you, it is her obligation, she had given or she had other claims. Think - are these your words? If your mother needed you - moral support, did she help you and did she give you strength, did you turn to her, did you go to the doctor with her, for example, did you both go with her to do something, just go to rest. Believe me, Author, it is not so difficult to fix your relationship! The hard thing is that you don't want to and you say - I'm hardened to her .... Do it and pay attention to your mother! Don't be sorry, don't be too late when you remember and your heart softens that you have a mother! Here in this forum I see only your disgust to your parents, which is unfortunate, how unfortunate is your writing ... To me you sound like an ungrateful child! Yes Everyone should have a personal life, but not at the expense of the mother! Because mostly ungrateful children write here, they want protection from the mother, and where there is a forum and it is written about the ungrateful children whose parents must have protection from you children. Do you think that if your mother reads what you have written, she will be happy - she will not be - because you wrote: "my heart began to harden towards her", how do you think she will feel? This is another disappointment for her! How do you think this will affect her mental health ... or do you not care and you are hardened .... Thank you my child! Thanks! Thanks! that it will affect her mental health ... or you don't care and you're hardened .... Thank you my child! Thanks! Thanks! that it will affect her mental health ... or you don't care and you're hardened .... Thank you my child! Thanks! Thanks!

   Yes. from such parents who feel their children are burdened and psychologically far away. When it starts muttering, your phone battery drops and that's it!

   And have you ever tried to understand why your mother behaves like that? No? Well try it! How? Be direct! Ask her! But without screaming / crying. Try to ask her calmly. Maybe he has some problems and he blames it on you. Try to understand!

   №5, who said that children are a burden? They are just ungrateful! Why don't you ask the author if she knows anything more about her mother, how she is, how she feels, if she needs anything, her health and how she is? The best mothers, the ones who have given birth to 4 children by different fathers / I'm talking about Bulgarian women with claims ... yes they are real! / Their parents support them all their lives, they only have claims, they have never worked - they are and they have money. The children are locked - because she has a job / Friday, Saturday and Sunday - at a party with the workers or at fairs and holidays .. / what they do there- No, I don't know, but it is a fact that their children consider them much more - than a caring parent, a parent who has given himself the mud under his fingernails to make their child succeed. The child thinks that everything is a given and does NOT even thank! This is the living truth, unfortunately ... №3, you are right !!!

   I completely agree with №7.

   Forgive her for her mistakes as she forgives yours. When he is looking for you, he needs you. Just look at her not as someone who is obliged to be perfect, strong and everything you want, but as you look at your friends - I'm sure you forgive them a lot of things :) Everyone has setbacks, your mother does not exception. Age does not always create confidence in people. You are already big, accept her as an ordinary earthly person and try to understand her, to talk to her as someone else would.

   Run away from anyone who tries to blame you. You can't run away from your parent, blood doesn't flow. But it's good that you've started not feeling guilty and moving away emotionally from your mother. When we do not get along with someone, we move away, this is a natural reaction of the body for self-preservation. Not bad, that doesn't mean you're cold, closed to her, you don't love her - nothing like that. In order for the relations to improve, there must be a desire and aspiration on both sides, it cannot happen unilaterally. That is, each of the participants in the situation / in this case you and your mother / must take their share of responsibility and together you both decide to be in harmony and to understand each other. Otherwise, as long as everyone blames the other and refuses to take responsibility, it doesn't work.

   If you are not dependent on it, my advice is not to get closer, but to distance yourself gradually ... my parents to be like that - day by day they poison my life more and more and I am waiting for the moment when I will go somewhere far away ... because of them I have not had self-confidence all my life and I threw myself at the first one I met ... but he turned out to be a thorn in the side of a hawthorn ... run until she crushes you mentally

   Guilt is an expansive concept. I didn't read how old you are, but in general they wrote it to you, if after the age of 18 you are with your parents and they pay you, it means that you have to respect them for that. I knew a woman who was 30, living with her parents, and with a child by a man. In addition to paying for everything in them, in addition to taking care of everything and giving pocket money to spend. To all this, she responded in disgust, constantly spoke against them, and on top of that she was ungrateful to say the least. I don't know why, but to some extent yours sounds like an excuse to me and it looks a lot like it to me, despite the heartbreaking moments. In general, one should solve one's problems and not grumble, if only grumbles, then it is an excuse. Accordingly, if you consider someone bad and unworthy to talk to you,

   Dear girl, your case is not unique. There are women who bring their children failures and setbacks in life. It's just that yours is one of them. But remember that everyone chooses their own path in life. You have to show her respect and take care of her if she needs food and shelter. From there, whatever called called. My mommy is the same - I should have been grateful to her all my life, she sacrificed herself for me ... exactly the same story. Now we see each other once a week, for exactly two hours and then - each on his way. I shop for her, so she's not hungry, I pay the bills from time to time and that's it! I have no other obligations to her! But it took me years to get used to the fact that the closest person in this world just can't stand me! And for many years to realize that it is not my fault, because no mother has the right to behave like that with her child. Accept the fact that your mother is such a person and distance yourself from her as soon as possible. You can't imagine the wonders of the distance - knowing that if you go too far, you'll play it like a dirty kitten, it will take into account to some extent what it says. Good luck, darling!