As the title implies, this is a person I find hard to forget. No, not to erase him as a person. I am a girl of 20 years. I broke up with Him (22 years old) days ago ... I can't shake the bitterness in my throat ... I've been crying for days and I can't think of anything else ... Now you will tell me "it's normal at every separation so be it, and it will pass. " But not. I will try to summarize things. We walked for almost 6 months. This was really the One, the One I wanted and with whom I felt more than complete. Our relationship was quite unexpected, it all started quite spontaneously. Before him I had 2 more connections, but there is no question of comparison and superiority at all. There were no things that made me happy, or at least short-lived - thrill, chemistry, love, indestructible friendship, respect. He (M.) was the man. It wasn't perfect, but I couldn't ask for more, I didn't need to. He is a very busy man, working almost all day. Although we are from one city, our visions were not very frequent, not to mention that I study in another city, finish 2nd year soon ... and return to our hometown twice a month at best. Our relationship was going pretty well, I would say, but only when we were face to face. Caresses, attention, etc. spoke for themselves. When I returned to the city where I study, ... our contact was, as you can guess, on Skype, and there were constant misunderstandings. We could rarely hear each other on the phone, his work is dynamic and takes all his attention. It was hard, especially for him. Somehow I had the patience and the will to wait. But it obviously reflects the expression "eyes far-heart far" ... breaks of at least 2 weeks of invisibility clearly hindered him. at the beginning of the relationship he said that he had a very strong thrill towards me, he started to get very attached, but after the first 2 months of walking there were several disputes and quarrels, which obviously pushed him back. Then we broke up for a while, but then he decided to give us another chance ... and I think he did it out of regret, because I barely survived a few days in depression. I gave him time to clarify with himself how he felt about me. and when it came to this last separation, he admitted to me that things weren't going well, he didn't feel like it - he looked at me like a super close friend, he couldn't fall in love. it broke my heart. remembering the way we made love, the way we looked at each other and caressed each other ... everything I had just dreamed of and had the illusion that it was mutual .. I know, that the reason is not another girl, because he is an honest and direct person, he told me things that hurt me, but I know he is not lying. Let me mention - before me he had a long relationship with one that made his life black, with infidelity at least. But he was in love with her. I've heard him say that probably because of this "blow" he is afraid to fall in love again. But I don't believe him. One does not decide when to squeeze in love and when to let go freely. It comes and does not ask. Talk to me a lot of things last time, sorry I don't know what ... and what of it can he reasonably put together my broken heart? It wasn't a relationship like the others, this time I was really in love (I still am) ... my pillow is soaked with tears, every night and morning I fall asleep / wake up torn .. My friends say that he didn't deserve me and didn't appreciate me ,, as soon as he fell in love with such rags as his ex, and I, who gave love and affection for him, looked at me like a friend. It's hard for me, even now I'm pouring ... I ask you for advice and opinions ... to some extent I wanted to pour out my grief through this story ... If you have any questions for more clarification of the picture, ask. Thanks in advance...
Answers 4
Hello lovely girl. You know, I'm very sad to read your story and I don't want to tell you something nice, but in your case it's best to forget about it. I tell you this from personal experience, as a person who has gone through a much bigger hell than yours, and I know that the best thing is to just keep going. I know that for the moment your life seems meaningless without him, but it is not so, on the contrary - given that in the beginning he behaves in this way with you and does not respect your feelings, you have nothing to expect from him. Whatever the reason (and there is one for sure, but don't bother to guess and dig into it at all, because you'll only hurt yourself even more), there's no point in continuing to think about it. Leave him, don't look for him, no matter how difficult it is for you, and if he really has feelings for you, he will call himself and explain everything to you. If not - remember "All evil is for good" and no matter how cliché it is, this is a lesson for you that will open your eyes in the future and make you much stronger. Good luck from me and I hope you will be happy soon :))) I wish you with all my heart!
Why do you need someone to be complete? This is not HE, as you think. There is NO HE and SHE or if there are they are in ourselves and are the basis of the illusory images that we build for someone and because of which we fall in love. Falling in love is a lie, see love is something else, but you hardly feel it right now. Love yourself and you will not suffer, do not look for yourself in another, you do not need a mirror to find yourself, then you will know what love is!
From the author: Thanks for the opinion and understanding, Number 1. Number 2, I do not try to look for my mirror image in the other person. I just felt with all my senses that he was what I wanted. I hate to make parallels and comparisons with past relationships, but in this case, as I said, they can't be compared to this one. For a moment I did not feel hesitation in my feelings for him. And he didn't give me a reason to feel insecure, unstable, etc. If we just parted temporarily outside the city to go to school, Skype communication was difficult. We also looked at each other on camera, but he didn't have enough. He couldn't fall in love. Well, how to do this job, especially the last two months it was hot and I could not go home for a long time. You can't fall in love from a distance. Everything is in direct contact. It hurts me that when we started arguing about something, it was as if he was giving back and every little obstacle was moving him away from me ... As if he wasn't being talked to, he didn't want things to be clarified. Otherwise, the rest of the time she's a sweetheart .. I still don't understand how a smut who has been spinning his finger for years (it was his childhood love) deserved to be in love with her .. And I, as much as I am dedicated and conscientious, dogs me ate. As if I don't cost more than a girlfriend ...
Yes! There is a huge difference between falling in love and love, but they can be compatible if the former passes into the latter! If you don't want to - stop, if not - unhealthy sex and it will fix the job! Then the rest of things will go in the right direction!