Hello! The story is briefly as follows .. I am a 21-year-old girl, and he is 37. We work together, at first there was nothing, but recently started jokes like "I'll take you soon", looks, constant search .. We rarely write, but he always starts first. They started telling us that we were a nice couple and that we should be together. There was a gathering from work and he decided to take me, we went together, we sat next to each other, we even danced a few times. It was nice, I felt the thrill, he kept telling me that I was very nice, then he sent me (nothing happened, but I always expected to say at least something more) .. He is not married, he has no children .. obviously he is worried too maybe from the years, maybe I scare him too, because I'm more withdrawn, shy and I haven't had a friend until now (he doesn't know that) .. It is clear that he is more experienced in every field than me and that makes me take a step back. What do you think of such a big difference? And does he feel anything for me or do I suggest? PS: Once he invited me to their house for coffee, he said he had no plans and not to worry, but I refused .. he did not like it, but his behavior towards me did not change .. he works in 2 places and is very busy and I always want more attention
Answers 16
You want more attention, but you refuse the invitation :? Do you know what you want?
16г. it's not small, moreover, after 10 years this difference will be very obvious, now not so much, but then you young chick in front of the TV with brandy, NOOOOO has a Noooo, if the person deserves a lot and you fit in every way can try
I strongly advise you to find a person who is close to your age. But now I'm tired of lecturing you on why. Topics like yours are very chewed already. Search and read if you wish. Of course, I will also tell you that you are an adult and therefore you can do whatever you want with your life.
What worries you about the difference? 16 years is not much. Don't hide from him that you are a virgin. If you wait until you're 30 and then look for a man next to you, you won't find him. Judging by your words, he is a gentleman and a realist.
In my opinion, the problem is not in the years, but in the fact that he is your colleague at work. If you work in a place where you are happy, it is not worth risking starting a relationship with a person from the same job. Then, if your relationship fails, you will only interfere with your workplace. There is a very nice saying: "Don't shit where you eat!"
Personally, in my opinion - do not get involved. Whether he feels anything for you is debatable, but he would hardly refuse you if you took the initiative. The point is that your difference is not small at all, and if we hypothetically imagine that things happen between you and grow into a relationship, this difference will be felt in every way (I'm talking, of course, about a long, serious relationship).
In my opinion, age is not a big obstacle. My parents are 17 years apart and they are still together.
It will break your heart because you are preparing for a serious relationship, and he directly invites you to their house to remember. When I imagine you, you will definitely see the huge difference, and your family and friends will be shocked. Imagine that you are dating your girlfriend and her 22, 23 year old boyfriend. They will have nothing to talk about at all. Sometimes it's a bad coincidence - but a decent man doesn't stand alone. Keep that in mind!
My best friend and I hardly go out anymore because she is pregnant and our topics of conversation diverge. This is not an excuse, but it is like an answer to number 8. My mother also knows, she said she doesn't mind, but she is hardly the happiest .. I want to have a serious relationship, but I have a lot of worries about whether I will manage, my inexperience the Author will frighten him
Precisely because of inexperience you will score an own goal. Not that anything, but how are you sure he has serious intentions? Some are direct, while others are tactful in order to entangle them. 37-year-old man - Either he is a big gambler, or the problem in his relationships is his fault, or it did not happen to women. I'm getting old again - you're small and he's mature for a family. Given his age, he knows very well what you can offer him. Very few older men fall in love with little ones, in most cases choosing them as lovers or boyfriends to scratch their egos. I will tell you one thing: Be careful !!!
No, your inexperience will not scare him, on the contrary - manipulators and complexes are looking for people full of insecurity and possibly inexperienced. Therefore, they mainly target people who are drastically younger than them in years. And your worry about whether you can handle it the most will excite him more. ;)
I am a woman of 24 and I have a child by a 37-year-old man! He kept telling me how I hadn't grown up, he was humiliating me, he was always right, he wanted me to be like him, he didn't ask me anything, he did everything on his own. I broke up! Don't get in trouble! There's something rotten about not getting married by that age. And if he does, it will only be to have children!
The author invited me to visit them for the second time, talked to my boss to fire me to be with him .. I went, but all the time we talked about work, his pet and such common things .. did not ask me anything more personally, nor came close to me .. at least on departure he decided to take me. The next day - nothing .. barely 2-3 words told me at work. When asked about the night before, he replied ... "Who am I to make her happy?" Quite nasty words ... Is it normal? He's a big man after all, what is this thing? Let's say he uses me, but for what?
From experience, I'm 33, she's 21, yes, it can't be called a striking difference, but 12 years is not a small amount. We had the best relationship with this girl, both for her and for me. Our years were not a reason to separate at all, but we kept only good memories of both. Just as two people with a difference of 2-3-4 years can be separated, so with a difference of 10-15-20, it is not decisive
Author, you can see for yourself how fickle and strange it is. One day he is kind and gentle, compliments, and the next cold and reserved. And now imagine it in a serious relationship - it will be a real torture. You will worry about where he went wrong again, what bad thing he told him, and the reason is himself! And the reason he is alone is there - a clumsy character, chaotic, erratic actions and you never know his next move. Look for a man around your age with whom you will not worry about your actions and you will be yourself, because he will like and appreciate you! And this uncle, not knowing how to earn a wife, to stand alone
'talk to my boss to fire me to be with him ...' - wow, man, what kind of boss is this? What is this job? Where did you end up? (rhetorical questions) So as an adult, if you want to be fired for some reason, you have to talk to your boss YOURSELF, not some man, as if you are not a person, but some property. I suspect your environment is not okay at all. I hope the topic is made up.