Hello! How to deal briefly is my question? I know what my problems are: a child of divorced parents who will never receive their love and attention, therefore I am very self-doubtful and I still need an external affirmation that I am valuable, beautiful, valuable. When my friend talks about porn, I get sad, but I'm not like that, and that's just a normal conversation. I know I can't fill the void of not having a loving family, but I can't take it anymore. I tried to focus on different areas and activities, but I still come to the conclusion that I AM NOT. I don't want it to be like that anymore, I want to live normally without the excessive fear that I AM NOT. Maybe it's work, maybe my friend, but it's still NOT something and that's me. I AM NOT, I am whipping myself, how can someone want me like that, but this one is more. It's as if there is something that has to be for TO BE ME, BUT I AM NOT. How to deal with these things, where to find my value and get pleasure. Any detailed stories will be useful to me, but please I have done a lot of things and I still am NOT. At the age of 23 I have a job that I could say that I like and do with pleasure, I graduate with a specialty of my choice chosen only for personal reasons because it is humanitarian and I will not see finances from it, I communicate a little with people, but after all, there are some, I rarely do charity, here and there sports or photography, mountaineering, but my insecurity is disastrous for me. I need someone to constantly prove to me who I am, how important I am, etc., and don't tell me that I'm the only person. It doesn't work, I like to spend time with myself alone, but I am still unhappy and suffering from a lack of love. Where can I find it? What can I do to be confident or at least balanced, my fears, insecurities, lack make me a sad person.
Answers 9
It's not that you lack confidence, it's that you want to be the most important. And the most significant ones are not, or at least a few are chosen. Like the Queen of England, for example. Working with a psychologist would help you understand yourself. And one detail - every person is more or less dissatisfied and wants more and more.
Reflections as if you were 80 years old. Yours did the right thing, they separated because they were obviously not for each other. And if the model is better, I live with someone because of the child. Is this child who is not divorced parents happier? Does it grow in love? Or if they don't fight in front of him, then everything is ok. Love and attention do not necessarily come when two are together. They may be separated, be together and still not receive love. You are not the only one. Unfortunately, the units had a happy childhood. In most cases, we grow up with childhood traumas. Focus on your current life and relationship. Rethink the situation and you will see that things are not as you have instilled them. Tomorrow, if you are in a situation of intolerance, violence with a man and you are not happy, will you stay married only for the sake of the child. The masses do it, scandals,
You need someone to believe in you so you can believe in yourself.
It's not the problem in your divorced parents, it's in you. This has little to do with the fact that they are divorced. Yes, divorce can affect you, but you decide whether to let it affect you. I'm a child of divorced parents too, but I've never felt this way ... how to feel, you choose it yourself. Get it out of your head that your parents' divorce is the root of your misfortunes, because it is a huge illusion and lie ... all your misfortunes stem from your very way of perceiving the world and yourself.
I think you are a WONDERFUL girl who is different from most girls and that is BEAUTIFUL. Your story describes me to some extent, and I also like photography, mountaineering. We are similar in that we both feel insecure and communicate with few people, but my parents are together and despite their support, I again feel insecure, ignorant, unable - as if I do not believe. In fact, I do almost anything I do well, or at least I try to do so, but I'm still insecure. I don't know exactly what the reason is. Maybe confidence to some extent. Although it will be strange for me to tell you - believe in yourself, love yourself and rejoice. You have a friend I guess you love, you graduate with the major you've chosen, you do things, who you like - charity, photography, mountaineering. Taa ... I could hardly help you, but know that in this time of falsity (fake smiles, feelings, hugs, worries and fake people in general) you are VALUABLE, NICE and VALUABLE enough. I send you smiles and a warm hug :) M25
You understand that for a flower if it does not have enough favorable conditions it can not flourish. It's the same with you. Just go somewhere where people are happy. And since I am in the same condition, I think quite culturally to say goodbye and blow somewhere for less than 5 years.
I'm 26, male. I've been a child of divorced parents since I was 13, and I don't think it affected me that way. I'm not sure what you're describing is from the parents. And I feel like I'm the only one who isn't affected by my parents' divorce. I don't see anything so scary.
I think yours is depression and it has nothing to do with your parents. You just need an answer for your condition that is outside of you and that seems logical to you. I am a child of divorced parents with terrible problems with the second m7 father. In the end, I chose difficulties to motivate me, not depress me. At the moment I am a successful person with a serious income, a stable family with wonderful children and I am a confident person with self-confidence. For me, this is a psychological problem for you and you need to talk to a specialist. These things are treatable, but you have to try a little too. Do not look for the answer to everything outside of yourself. You control your emotions and it's up to you how you feel in a situation. Take responsibility for your own life!
You need a psychologist. The only problem is your self-esteem. Or find a boyfriend.