? I've lost my mind. Hello dear readers of the site. I would like to take this opportunity to express the problem that has been leaning over me for the last year or two. As I wrote and in the title I lose my mind in the literal sense. What do I mean? Just up until a year I felt wonderful. I was a senior year at university, I was showing great results I had serious dreams and ambitions. I allowed myself to set a lot of serious goals, and I was ready to fight for them.
Since then, it has been hard for me to explain what happened, but just when I go back, it's like I was reborn in another person. In the past year I practically ruined all my things I had been doing in my education. After I finished my happiness I had the opportunity to start working in a lot of places in my specialty. My craft is somewhat specific and after graduation the companies require at least a year of training in them to become a full-fledged employee and to start taking a normal salary. Even though I knew this since I was 8th grade, when I decided to study this and I dreamed about it a year ago, I had a slat in my head and I told myself it would not be another year to be without money and I started a vague job that only the one who did not apply for it did not take. This decision I took after I passed the interview and I was approved in the most desired and dream for work company. Now that I think about it, I can't believe what a stupid thing I did. A year went by, and I was going to take two times as soon as I could, and my salary would grow. I'd be working on what I always dreamed of. Just the last few months I've been in constant depression and I feel stranded. Of course I can try to apply again, but I'm afraid. I had to start and dumped them and I have no idea how they're going to look at me the second time. And the tide there is huge, after the tests remain a few and I'm sure they will remember me.
My second stupidity is that in depression and in despair I left the work that I had begun. A nice period just I was like a zombie. I was angry that I wasted such an incredible opportunity. I've ruined my dream for the last 10 years. And the moment I think of it again, I'm panicking. I can't believe this nonsense. I try not to think, but when I do, I get a heartbeat and my ears start screaming. Because of the temporary comfort, I ruined everything. Because of the state of despair in which I've fallen, I've become extremely aggressive. My girlfriend left me because I behaved with her terribly. I forgot her birthday, I was constantly bursting and I avoided it. I had a fight with all my friends and family because of my condition.
For some time I have been a little bit at least I am not so violent and aggressive, but I still weigh heavily on the mistake I made. At the earliest in half a year I will be able to try again because then the company will open their reception. Until then, I don't know what I'm going to do. I feel terrible. Depressed and desperate. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read my story, and I would be very happy if you could give me some advice on how I could help myself a little. It's very hard for me to be constantly feeling anxious, panicked, depressed and angry.
Answers 5
Try it and don't give up, you're alive and well that's the most important thing, chasing your dream before it's too late.. GOOD LUCK Buddy! 29m
You can help yourself by forgiving yourself. Stop eating yourself. Be a friend. Would you mind telling a friend a year what a mistake he made, or would you calm him down? What happened is done. Look ahead.
Hi I'm in a similar state. I understand perfectly. I've been struggling with these melenholic nonsense for years. The only advice I can give you is that you don't try to handle it on your own. To convince you, I'm going to tell you a little bit about myself, and you can decide for yourself. So far, nothing has been able to break me in spirit and mentally. I was born with two very young and inexperienced parents (under the age of twenty), and accordingly I was not cared for. They were always traveling somewhere. By my seventh year I had toured perhaps the whole of Bulgaria, but not in a good way. We were constantly fleeing from something (police, mutthree and the like), always sending me to one grandmother, second, aunts, etc. My parents took me very rarely. They both already had their own "families." It wasn't better in school. I was constantly changing my class, the city, and the children were not accepting me, which is normal. Later in time my father tried to rape me, and then he went to prison (not because of me). At ten I had to interrupt all contact with him. I didn't get along very much with my mother. I had to go to a new class again, I met again only a rejection from the children, which is also a normal reaction. I don't blame them, it's nature. Then I moved to live with my mother, but her new boyfriend was trying to shorten the distance with me. When she slept, he came to my room. He touched me a few times and kissed me on the lips, pretending to sleep and not waking up. It was awful! Next event. I was twenty-one. In one of my worst periods. Parting with a serious relationship, love stories and temporary income from 350 BGN per month in Sofia, my mother just kicked me out of them. There was no reason. She told me herself that she thinks she's spoiled me, and I have to start doing it myself. I moved out in a couple of weeks. I didn't break. I fought again in my life! This is a small part of my inept life. It's really ludicrous... It is also ridiculous that, at my best moment, when I lived with my friend, I made four thousand a month (with this story, no matter how strange you are, I'm not a prostitute. My profession allows such income and is completely legal, moral, but also difficult), I lived beautifully. Everything's all right. For the first time everything was fine and then the depression attacked me.. Well, I'm not strong enough to do it alone. If you believe that you have more power than me, and fate has made you more, try! I can't believe that if you try, you're going to make it worse. I've been trying alone for a long time because I thought depressions and melancholy were for the ligics, and I wasn't. It's worse. Much worse. I'm extremely inadequate right now. Fail everything I have. I have no friends, I have nothing. The only thing you can help yourself with is remembering that life is a wheel that spins. I can vouch for that. For my short experience, I can tell you that everything is really changing. You don't know what's going to happen to you tomorrow. Literally one day you will wake up with a burst of energy and you will wonder why you're blowing yourself up for crap... But to do this, we have to work on it and not give up! Don't try to do psychic experiments. Go to psychotherapist. Or do I know... Whatever you think will help you. Maybe talk to someone you know will understand you. But have, considering that antidepressants, alcohol, drugs, walks, holidays, excursions, etc. N. Do not help! For this will advise you only people who have never felt depression, about walks and hobbies I want to say, I hope anyway for alcohol no one advises you! Lol! About the antidepressants. They do not heal, according to my observations, but are a very valuable resource that helps you not to kill yourself and keep you alive until the problem passes. It's a max! And remember, if we can survive this, nothing can stop us! That's what keeps me motivated. Because if I can live with this, then nothing will be on my way and I will be stronger than ever and most average people. If that doesn't make us stronger, there's no one! Good luck to you, to me and to all who don't stop fighting! I hope my comment helps someone.
Man, I'm in the same situation. I can hardly give you the proper advice, but at least you'il know it's not just you:) By the way such mistakes every or almost every person does in their lives. Some even constantly repeat them, but do not care! In fact, nothing so tragic has happened. It's a job. Yes, it's true that you need money, but life is not just working and gaining money. As long as you don't have credits, it's not as tragic as you imagine it. Your big mistake is that you made your girlfriend run away because it's bad for yourself. And I, like you, as a disciple, had some dreams about what I wanted to work and how to develop my life in the future. Maybe not as specific and realistic as yours, but there were some. I graduated higher and I ran into the reality, the stakes and the cliché to sound. I found a job, then I changed it, but I stayed in the same field of activity. I found the right place for me, with the exact people. I didn't was getting a lot of money, but I was happy. And I don't know why I recently decided I'm not comfortable, and I have to leave. It was a mess in my head because I didn't have a specific explanation why I didn't want my job, and I didn't know where the wind would take me afterwards. I started another job and it's much closer to what I dreamed of once. And my paycheck got up. But I do not feel satisfied, but rather sick! And I'm angry! I wake up every morning and ask myself, "Are you an idiot? Why did you quit your job (the old one)? What is this nonsense you're doing? ". Every time I look in the mirror I feel contempt for myself. The worst thing is when you make yourself sick. It's the worst thing about getting yourself screwed up. I have no explanation, I can't even understand my thinking when I've made that decision. An explanation I actually have. It's the Depression! She, on the one hand, kills your dreams and goals. On the other hand it makes you super cautious-every little obstacle you see it as something very frightening and instinctively you run away from it. Such an obstacle in this case is the ability to work, albeit briefly for a little money, until the main goal is reached. Just this condition makes you think in the super short term, ie. To satisfy your current needs, not to think in perspective of what you want from life. Why is there depression? There are three factors. First, the natures of the individual. People who are conscientious, intelligent and sensitive easily develop depression. Second, the subjective way of life. And the third-diseased society and the insane country we live in. How can you help yourself? Emmy first appreciates what you have now. Look at things in a spiritual way and stop "the company this... Company that ". Try to get back the things you've lost and persevere what you've got.
And the parents or the relatives, where were they not pointing you??? And they're guilty! So the adult role is to correct the child when he's wrong!