This story is instructive, very serious and very long (which I apologize for, but it can't be short). It is aimed at boys who are currently in grades 8-9 and feel different from others, are closed in on themselves, do not communicate with their peers unless necessary, are not active in school and in their lives as whole. Even if there are no such people here, if you know such a boy, please let him read this story, or retell it to him, because I think that if he sees where his life is going as it is now, he will not continue to live it that way! I am a 31-year-old man and just as you have heard countless stories of successful men and women and considered them a good example, so I am a failure and my story should be a BAD example to show you what NOT to do. you do! My way down started when I entered high school. Before that I was more or less a normal boy. High school for many boys is a turning point in life because it overlaps with the onset of puberty and adulthood. If you do not take matters into your own hands, then it is very difficult, and for some even impossible. Let me tell you about my experience. I don't know for what exact reason, but towards the end of 8th grade, the beginning of 9th grade, I noticed that I became more and more indifferent to communicate with others in my class. The things they were talking about were dull and pointless to me. They went to cafes and pubs all the time, to ala-bala billiards. I did not enjoy smoking, drinking, or generally staying in such places. I was only interested in two things - philosophical topics and psychology and cinema and television. At that time, my family was very bad with money and we all went to take pictures as extras in various American productions, which then increasingly exported their photos here, because it is much cheaper for them. The problem was that even that didn't interest me very much to say, just some interest. In general, my interest in the world, for example on the ten-point scale, must have been 2. I was super indifferent to anything going on around me. Now I realize that this was some kind of defensive reaction against others who thought (rightly so) of a mansion. And when I pretended to be a nerd, I kind of gave myself weight. Except it's a double-edged sword, and as I pretended to be "heavy" I started to become a terrible lazy person. Towards the 11th, In 12th grade, I barely patched the grades and succeeded mainly because I had made a good impression on the teachers as a "good" child. However, I was almost always late for the first class, or I missed it, or I didn't go to school at all on some days when I wasn't in the mood. My mistake was that I chose the "easy" way. There are at least two solutions to each problem - easy and difficult. The easy one "solves" the problem now and immediately, but in the long run it creates 1000 other problems for you. The difficult does not solve anything at the moment, but in the long run it saves your ass not only from the problem you had in the beginning, but also makes your life easier in many other ways. I became apathetic to the world, instead of being 110% open to it. That should have been my reaction. But I needed someone to push me and remind me of this thing. I just wouldn't do it alone because it's a kind of detour to solve my problem. And that's exactly why I decided to write this confession here on this site - because I'm sure there are a lot of guys like me out there somewhere and they're "fixing" as best they can, which means they're sinking even deeper. There was no one before me to help me because no one knew me well enough to see the difference in my behavior. Neither my mother nor my father, nor anyone. Now you will ask, well, how can I open myself to the world. Well, it's easy. It's clear to me that you can't become super sociable with your classmates at once, but you don't have to. Fix your grades first. If, like me, you have reacted by becoming apathetic and uninterested in everything, start with the most important thing - your education. Fix your grades and don't tie the arithmetic mean 5, and try to be 6. 00. Anyway, you're not like the others to hang out with your friends all the time, you don't have a girlfriend, so you have no excuse to have something other than 6s in all subjects. Believe me, studying in high school is super easy. After high school, I worked for a few years because I failed the entrance exam, but then I tightened up and entered a few years later. It's 100 times harder to get a 6 in university than in high school. First, before reading for an exam, you need to get where - there are no textbooks, and if there are, they are expensive! To look for sources, to copy, print and only then. And you can't retell what you read, it's just a starting point for your reasoning. Nothing is ready for you. And you also have bills to pay and quarrels with these accommodations. In high school you live at home and mom and dad are responsible for these things, the textbooks are there for you, you read and remember. You have no excuse to have 5s !!! Once you become an excellent student and still have extra time, you can find a job and / or start participating in school initiatives. To be ACTIVE in a word. Staying at home and staring at the TV not only doesn't help you at all, it's harmful. Be sure to start a sport (if it is a team it would be better) in your free time. But even there it is important to demand 100% of yourself to train not only physically but also mentally. To train not to be satisfied with half results and to be the best version of yourself! Once you become an excellent student and still have extra time, you can find a job and / or start participating in school initiatives. To be ACTIVE in a word. Staying at home and staring at the TV not only doesn't help you at all, it's harmful. Be sure to start a sport (if it is a team it would be better) in your free time. But even there it is important to demand 100% of yourself to train not only physically but also mentally. To train not to be satisfied with half results and to be the best version of yourself! Once you become an excellent student and still have extra time, you can find a job and / or start participating in school initiatives. To be ACTIVE in a word. Staying at home and staring at the TV not only doesn't help you at all, it's harmful. Be sure to start a sport (if it is a team it would be better) in your free time. But even there it is important to demand 100% of yourself to train not only physically but also mentally. To train not to be satisfied with half results and to be the best version of yourself! Be sure to start a sport (if it is a team it would be better) in your free time. But even there it is important to demand 100% of yourself to train not only physically but also mentally. To train not to be satisfied with half results and to be the best version of yourself! Be sure to start a sport (if it is a team it would be better) in your free time. But even there it is important to demand 100% of yourself to train not only physically but also mentally. To train not to be satisfied with half results and to be the best version of yourself!
Answers 22
I am the same as the author!
You're right somewhere, but I wonder now, at 31, after realizing all this, did you achieve anything special? (I'm not picky, I'm just asking, because in order to keep your story reaching so many people, it has to end somehow with "yes, I realized my mistakes, I changed and now I have a family / children / a good job, I feel satisfied." because it sounds like a farewell letter, nothing more)
Um, author, you're trying to tell us that if we're congested, at least make the most of our time developing and working on ourselves. I'm also a kind of mansion because I don't like cafes and discos, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't go out with friends because I don't have any. I watch people gather, celebrate, no one invites me anywhere ... I have no social life. I do sports, music, I study school materials, I graduated from high school with honors, now I'm a student. But even though I'm not apathetic to the world, that is, I'm working on myself, that doesn't make me sick. I still remain the same traffic jam ...
Forget the most important thing, though - to tell them to look for girlfriends at this age. In order to reduce / stop the cravings, which has a bad effect on motivation - the body, knowing that there is a way to deceive it and get your dose of dopamine easily, will prefer the easy option instead of stimulating your brain to want to communicate with people and mostly with girls. I say this as "excellent" - I graduated from high school with honors, university with 5. 40 (for a while!) .. I have a good job, but my social life is bad, especially my girlfriends. Let's say I have some acquaintances, I go out from time to time, I communicate ... but things don't work out with women. I know it often happens with "excellents" that we look unattractive in the eyes of superficial muffins (who are the majority of girls) ... so it takes more time to go in search of thinking girls.
What is the meaning of this story? To show someone the right path, which only in your opinion is right? And I am exactly as you were, as there are probably thousands of children in this country at this time. And what? Is it better to go to pubs, pretend to be a fitness maniac, playboy, drink, smoke, just to be like everyone else? God, that's not what I want. I don't want to be part of this disgusting mass ... of losers. I don't want to be a part of this story. Yes, the real losers - the limited boys and girls for whom life is paramount. I don't want to be like that, and I'm afraid of becoming under the pressure of our idiotic society, which tolerates what attracts more and more additions to the table. How can I have something to do with my classmates? They're complete idiots listening to chalga, failed guys, half criminals, for them, fighting and violence is the solution to all problems, they pretend to be heavy, they drink, they smoke, some people shake ... how is it possible for someone to think that this makes you a person, how can someone respect you for that? How failed the one who respects you for these things ... I just can't imagine, and I don't want to. I don't want to believe that we live in something like this, honestly. And now, when September 15th comes again, with each passing day it becomes more and more dull to me that for another year, every day, every week and month I have to put up with these retarded **** offers (with an apology), to them I listen to the chalga, the stupid conversations ... this is the personification of horror for me. And I don't want it ... not at all! For this, I will advise readers to do the opposite - do not change. I don't know what the author didn't like in his life, but that doesn't mean the same thing will happen to you. Don't do it
Author ... you turned 31, as I read! It's not time for you to think about school anymore, grades and being the best in one way or another is too stressful, and life in our time is already extremely stressful! Don't you know that the educational system in Bulgaria is one of the most crowded and complex (which is to the detriment of a peaceful childhood)! Don't talk nonsense to children! For the sport you are right, let there be any sport and let them at least learn to write competently! From there, who has the capacity for more, let him be first, second or who decides :)
It's as if I wrote it, but years later. Author, a big THANK YOU for your openness. Now I will be in 9th grade, I am closed in on myself, I don't have many friends. I will try to fix the grades, and then I will train. I will not leave things like that! :)))
The story is not finished? Where exactly did you fail? Some assessments do not matter. What exactly happened between the university and 31 years?
Hi friend, I understand how you feel, because I've been this way too .. (It may sound strange, but there are girls like that). And I think that if I had not shown this apathy as a protective reaction from the world around us, I would now be "light years" ahead in my development as a person in our earthly existence. Now I'm ordinary - average - mediocre ... or whatever you want to call it. But I think there are chances for people like us. We now think that we are too old to seek our true calling. But part of me strongly believes that this is not the case, that our path of growth does not end after high school (indeed, it is much more difficult, but we are people who inside can not be satisfied with the little , with the ordinary, with one ordinary survival) .. There are many people, who have reached their peak in their lives and at a later age: material and spiritual satisfaction in one. It's just that people like us have been tormented by the fact that we are internally different and that has pulled us back. I don't always manage to think positively about my future, but I try to be positive. You are probably aware that through true and sincere positivism everything is achieved. I wish you the courage to be yourself to discover what will make you truly happy. I also wish it on myself. Good luck. I wish you the courage to be yourself to discover what will make you truly happy. I also wish it on myself. Good luck. I wish you the courage to be yourself to discover what will make you truly happy. I also wish it on myself. Good luck.
... or instead of going crazy like crazy, tighten up and find a girlfriend. With the Author's advice you will only get around the problem, but this is not his solution. To be happy you do not need lots of friends, you need one who understands you only with a glance. You can always change, as long as you want. It is important to have the desire and know what you want, the rest will be fine.
Author, I am your copy !! I am a 15-year-old boy for the 9th grade. But my passion is computer games .. 2 months ago, just when we finished, they bought me a gaming laptop, since then I haven't left us !! When I get out of bed I inflate the chalga to the hole and start the game. I'm not interested in girls, for me most of them are ... For me the day is 3 things 1. playing 2. eating 3. sleeping
Haha, interesting story!
From the Author: Thanks to everyone who read the story and to those who commented, thank you even more, because that's how I get feedback on how you perceived it and whether it helped someone or even just someone stopped and thought about things for five minutes ... :) Of course, I can't be right about everything I've written as advice (that even for half). Advice is something very relative, and if one helps one, not only does it not work for another, but it also hinders him. For example, nowhere did I mention young people looking for a FRIEND, I wrote it partly from personal experience, partly from my logic. If, say, a boy in 8th grade is closed in on himself, it means that he is interested in himself and no one else. This boy has NO NEED (at least not realized) to have a boyfriend at the moment. In order to find a girlfriend, he must climb at least one step up in his development. If he still decides to find a girlfriend without developing, then his girlfriend will be on his level (lazy, angry at the world, a closed girl who is a copy of the boy) and so they will both pull each other down and will not allow development. But it is almost impossible for such a boy to find a girlfriend who looks like him, because this phenomenon in girls of this age is very, very rare. Looking for a girlfriend with such problems is like putting on a tie without a suit! The friend comes after you have laid the foundation. And in many cases, if you have laid a solid enough foundation, there is not even much to look for, the girls really come alone. By number 2, it sounds very Hollywood and it's really nice. But to have neglected life right in its most important part and then to realize it is useless, my friend. At least for most people. Do you know how IMPORTANT puberty is? This is the turning point in the life of every boy! If you start badly from then on, then go get well. There is a way out, but it is many times more difficult and slow. My life is not good at the moment. I don't have a family of my own. I have no girlfriend. I'm doing something I don't like, and I could do more. Up to number 3 You're not a traffic jam at all. That you think so, yes, to some extent makes you so, my friend, but believe me you really aren't. Congested are people without motivation, without purpose in life, without friends without anything - a complete package. With this confession, I am trying to tell the readers of the site - that being congested means being an absolute hole, and not just not having friends. Many, many people have no friends, but that does not make them failed human beings. It doesn't even make them unhappy, unless they themselves feel that way. See, if you want to have friends and you don't, that's a problem. If you're happy like that, it's not - it's just. Look, in high school I was just that - FULL HOLE - poor grades, no side interests, no friends, no ambition not to mention that I was extremely thin to be a really complete set . I'm not saying that the education system is great, I'm not saying that the school environment is great, but if, IF someone there who reads these lines has been or is going to this hole to become a FULL HOLE, he MUST do something, no matter what. It is preferable to start with the assessments. It does not matter whether these subjects that are studied are important or meaningless, whether system is overloaded and so on ... It is important for such a depressed boy to concentrate his energy on something. And why isn't this thing what he has to do anyway while he's a student - to study ?? And the other thing you say - where is this effort, even if we are perfect, there is nothing perfect. Well, if you have reached the state of a FULL HOLE, with a little effort (to raise the average success by one unit, to talk to the others a little more) 90% I guarantee that you will just calm down that here, you can be better and you will be satisfied only with this and after no more than a month you will return to the FULL HOLE level again, because you will say to yourself "I have proved to myself that I am better, but it is more convenient for me to live, that's it. my choice, I'm not dumb, I've chosen to be dumb. "Kind of. I have walked this path and I know that the way out is not by taking just one step in the right direction, and thousands not to stop. Otherwise, it is very easy to return to the starting position. It's just that in such a situation only perfectionism helps. As if you run 800 meters and fall somewhere on the track. In order to finish AT LEAST WITH THE GROUP (not to win !!), you have to break your ass by running! That's what I'm talking about - tighten up in high school, because it's like an uneven stretch of track where it's much easier to fall.
Don't listen to him, this little man will interfere in my life. Do you know how pleasant it was for me at school? Nobody was looking for me for anything. At school I sat on the last desk without anyone next to me and slept all the time, when I got home I slept again I generally slept my life but I was napping on my hat even at work I slept and again no one was looking for me by the way and I'm 30 and I haven't thought about whining about the past.
Come on with these superficial muffins. The superficial muffin finds a superficial muffin. The like attracts the like / universal law /. That is why those who meet and find each other are like faces. And who are left alone ... we have lessons to learn.
I will tell you that I did not like the topic so much that the beak tried to inspire self-confidence and courage of the so-called traffic jams or there as you call them. I myself do not think that I belong to this group, but I was extremely interested to see the point of view of those who are ridiculed daily for good and bad and it is somehow intriguing. Or maybe I didn't understand something from the whole argument above, but I still prefer to read it as publications, rather than which idiot who fucked up which idiot.
Drive it to me on computers and games and the like, at the same time let your peers take off their boyfriends, and when you turn around and turn 31 and see that all your peers are already married, you will tell yourself what happened, but it will be later, the years and the time you can't go back, only the pain and suffering of being alone will remain.
to number 5 - I understand you so well .... and I'm terrified in the same way from 15. 09 .. how old are you? :)
From № 5 to the Author: "If, say, a boy in 8th grade is closed in on himself, it means that he is interested in himself and no one else. This boy does NOT NEED (at least not realized) to have a boyfriend at the moment. "And have you ever thought that he might be gone, because he doesn't think anyone would understand, and that's the way it is?" What motivation can an exemplary boy have in a class with retarded retarded classmates, superficial people? Why didn't the time come for him to meet the girl who would love and support him? Is there a specific level of 8th grade, why do you mention it with such specifics? Should we have 4-year-old girlfriends? Why do you think so superficially? I'm sorry, but that's a stupid point of view. I was closed in on myself, grades 7-8-9, you could say, and ...? Why does it somehow seem to me that you are trying to instill in someone that their life would not be possible to be wonderful just because they are different, even though I may not consider myself different, I'm just trying to be, not to be part of the 'table' , the superficial and limited mass of retards, which it seems to me that you support somewhere, you tell people to be like them, you don't criticize them. What do you think about the limited creatures like playboys (because they use 'traffic jams'), muffins and so on ... traffic jams? Why do I have the feeling that somehow you secretly wanted in those years that you didn't like in your life to be like them ... limited, primary? And since I know you'll think I'm a 'congested', desperate for life ... apathetic ... at least according to your confused criteria, let me add that my success is very good, I like to study, even though the environment doesn't allow me to do it fully ... and yes, I have a girlfriend, that's such an important thing for you. I have with me a wonderful, amazing, unique, beautiful, infinitely smart, true being who loves me and I love infinitely much, who supports me in everything I can talk to for all eternity, to share my days ... someone to respond to me with understanding. And I continue to be as I described myself! And I wouldn't change, at least as long as this creature I love, I adore ... the only creature in the world whose opinion I care about and I would change because of her ... she understands me, and she just tells me not to change. What could I not like in my life? What's wrong with it ... do you think ... maybe I'm trying not to be an idiot ... a 'traffic jam' ...? That looks wrong to you, doesn't it? To № 18: On 16.
Author to n19 "Have you ever thought that you may not exist, because in no way do you think that someone would understand it, and this is to some extent so?" To think that no one would understand you is arrogance and arrogance. - that you are so unique and unrepeatable that no one in the world, or very few people, would understand you, which of course is not the case. No one is that unique unless they are an alien. :) Arrogant people find it difficult to find friends or boyfriends because they consider themselves more than others and put an invisible barrier in front of the rest of the world, do not let people get to know them, even if they want to. "Is an 8th grade level specifically, why do you mention it with such specificity? Should we have 4-year-old girlfriends? Why do you think so superficially? I'm sorry, but that's a stupid point of view." but where did you read that? I haven't written anything about girlfriends (boyfriends), especially that someone had to find something to do with it. Don't you read any of the people's comments ?? There are similar ones, but not in the confession. I think you're wrong. Tell me where you saw it, give a quote. Thanks. "Why does it somehow seem to me that you're trying to instill in someone that their life wouldn't be possible to be wonderful just because they're different, even though I may not think of myself as different, I'm just trying to be , not to be part of the 'mass', the superficial and limited mass of retards that I think you support to some extent, tell people to be like them, don't criticize them. What do you think about limited playboy creatures (since using 'congestion'), muffins, etc ... traffic jams? Why do I have the feeling that somehow you secretly wanted in those years that you didn't like in your life to be like them ... limited, primary? "I don't instill anything in anyone, my friend. I say if you continue with an EXTREME behavior anyway, this and that can (and most likely will) happen. I say it from the point of view of experience. I'm not talking about people who are weak with communication, but strong in something else. I'm talking about complete sloths and last holes in the kaval, as I was. I was bad at everything. I "instill" in such people that their lives can not be wonderful, because it is so - pure and simple.If you are bad at everything and do not have the desire to change - what are you? Not to be part of the table because you are just different or because you do not want, there is nothing wrong :). But when you define the behavior of those different from you as decadent and unacceptable and fiercely criticize them, that's not good. And I'll tell you why. The fact that some people live their lives according to their own rules should not confuse you, as long as it does not harm you and hinders you. Let the people go where they want, listen to whatever music they like and dress as they wish. This is not your job. You set a boundary between yourself and others. I am such and such, others are worse than me and blow it. Others are neither better than you nor worse - they are just different. And if you can't exemplify different people, then you're no better than a racist or homophobe. I have not used the word "congested" anywhere, you read some other articles, I think. And I didn't want to be like the others, I just wanted to be able to communicate with them, but I never overcame myself. Look, dude, communicating with someone with different views from yours doesn't mean becoming like him, it just means being light-hearted and not prejudiced against others. Someone can be a "playboy" and still be a decent dude, so what? "And because I know you'll think I'm 'stuck', desperate for life ... apathetic ... at least according to your confused criteria, let me add that my success is very good, I like to study, although the environment doesn't allow me to do it fully ... and yes, I have a girlfriend, this is such an important thing for you. "I dare not give definitions to people I don't know, but because you are so annoyed with me, and you leave second comment - I'll tell you. I don't consider you "overgrown" or desperate for something. You're just an angry young man. Who you are angry about is in question. I don't know myself, the world. It is obvious that you have gathered a lot of negative energy for such a young age, which is not good as you look at it. Again, I haven't written anywhere about a girlfriend whether it's important or not. Either you read "between the lines" and misinterpret what I wrote, or you read something completely different, I have no explanation. Give a quote to see what you're talking about, please. That you enjoy and enjoy - I'm very happy. This automatically raises you one level up from complete failure, as I was. I didn't do anything in high school, and that's exactly what I was - nothing. You are fine, you have ambition, you have energy (although negative), you have a girlfriend to share with. I'm not saying anything about you. In my story, I talk about really complete failures, morons and lazy people. There may be few people like that, but there are. And because I have experience as such (horror!) And I consider myself a sufferer and I want to help them not to continue with my mistakes. It seems to me that you are very attached to your girlfriend and as much as I do not want to sound reproachful to this, I will tell you not to trust her 110%, as you do now. She is (I guess) the only person who really understands and likes you and that's very nice, but you're so attached and in love with her that if you break up at some point it will be a terrible blow to you and you may not you never recover. It's like putting all your money in one number in the casino. If it falls - perfect, great! But if not? You lose everything. Be together, enjoy your company, but don't have this girl as your only loved one. Especially now that you're 16. At one point, she may think you're super interesting as you are special and mysterious, and then she can beat your clown. Such are the girls and the women.
"14. Don't listen to him, this little man will interfere in my life. Do you know how pleasant it was for me at school? Nobody was looking for me for anything. when I got home I slept again, I generally slept through my life, but I was napping on my hat, even at work, I slept and again no one was looking for me, by the way, and I'm 30 and I haven't thought about whining about the past. " to have some life to interfere in it - well. But sleeping all day in the figurative and literal sense is not life, but something out of the ordinary. Worse and existence. And it's not a presence. And the fact that you don't "whine" about your past, I accept it, but not only that, but you even describe it almost as heroism - this is already wrong! I hope you're * slow with this comment. And man,
I liked the topic. And I thought about the mistakes I made during the most important years - those in my teens. Then you lay the foundation of your life - as behavior, as communication, as a person. When in these years you are not sufficiently aware, when then you do not clear the vices in your character - then it becomes very difficult. I, contrary to the author, studied a lot then and it gave me a lot as a professional development, but in communication I got seriously stuck - I did not go out, I did not have fun, I did not feel the need to be among many people, I did not have a boyfriend or look for. And now - at the age of 28, I am not a sociable person, unattached, without any flair for relationships, for people at all. I had the opportunity to develop in another direction, but then I made my choice this way. But I think there can be further development, life constantly teaches us - for good or for evil - this is our life it is this uniqueness that is indigestion of other people. I think that if a person makes a "dissection" of life so far and brings everything "on the table" - both good and bad - everyone owes such a balance - he will see that his life is a series of choices that he himself he did and did what he wanted - and if he did what he wanted - then he was himself. I have personally learned that I have made the biggest mistakes when I let someone else decide for me or I did something just to please someone else. I agree that we must be responsible to ourselves - every action has consequences and when you act you should not close your eyes to it. Whatever it was. The future is before us,