Hello, I am 27 years old, a woman and I am currently with my sister for a short time. She and her husband have two children, a boy and a girl. The boy is 17 years old and the girl is 14. My sister and her husband are extremely good, intelligent and well-mannered people, unlike their children. Most of the time when he speaks, the boy swears, almost every sentence ends with "fuck" and it is absolutely normal for him because he was from "minetown". His sister constantly speaks in a sarcastic tone and even she swears. The two are constantly at war, they insult each other every day and even fight, they have insulted their parents and me many times, but they do not reprimand them. They have no respect for anyone, "censorship", "respect", "apology" and "punishment" are words whose meaning they do not know. According to my sister's son, every dispute is resolved by fighting, I do not think it is aggressive, but rather slimy, and both are extremely spoiled. I tried to talk about it with my sister, but she refuses to listen to me, for her her children are the best and most obedient, and they just don't have any upbringing, and I don't know how to open her eyes to that, because at times they really overdo it.
Answers 7
It is not your job to deal with the upbringing of other people's children, it is time for you to create yours and bring them up as you see fit.
My opinion is that not everyone is fit to be a parent. This should be a privilege for man, not some free right, as it is now. And what I will advise you is to find a way to diversify and enrich your life so that you do not get into the movie what your sister's children are like. Apparently at the moment you don't have any goals and that's why you're a bit like an annoying 50-60 year old who has already raised her children and because she doesn't know what else to do with her life, and in the past she hasn't laid any foundations for her development. as a person, and she just got into the experience of being a mother and a housewife, she is drawn to take care of the children of her relatives, which is quite unfortunate.
Just distance yourself internally, the problem is not yours. Your sister's children are her problem and her concern. If you're there for a short time, it's good that it's not for long. Grit your teeth and don't mess with them, try to distance yourself and not deal with them. You don't write why you're there, but if circumstances don't force you and you're just a guest or something, leave. People can't be the way we understand and like them, but no one has to put up with anything from anyone.
It doesn't make sense ... Everyone slept very comfortably. The king is completely naked, but everyone "sees" his beautiful new clothes ... These people live with illusions. But that may make their lives bearable at all ... The case is hopeless. Your only useful move is to watch and learn what you shouldn't be and how you shouldn't raise your children with your husband.
Do you have children? I guess not. if there were, things would look radically different to you. I am not saying that what you are saying is not true or that their behavior is correct. It's just that you would know that raising and raising children is quite difficult and does not depend only on the parents.
You can not. They are not your children, and they are so old that it is too late for someone to teach them how to speak, when to give thanks, and why it is important to respect others. Besides, you see them for a short time, which is extremely insufficient. When my brother was 7 years old and later, he showed all his tricks in front of guests and relatives, because he knew that no one would shout at him or punish him at such a time. It wasn't much different at puberty. I myself remember that at the age of 16-17, when there were other people at home, I allowed myself to be up to 30 minutes late. Ours reflected that I was coming home later, but there were no special consequences. I don't know where my mind was, I can't explain this behavior to you, it was a kind of little rebellion. A small victory that will satisfy me at the moment. It's wrong, but my child's brain worked like that. Of course, the next morning was followed by a horse, but I didn't take it for granted. The rest of the time I was like a little bunny, not daring to say or do anything wrong. You can't raise these children and it's not your job to analyze, criticize and tell their mother. She herself is late. Minetown, Plovdiv? Yes, as far as I understand, it is a bit fashionable now to think that it is normal, once you are there, to talk to "Maina" ... In Sofia, they talk to "bate", around the Black Sea coast I hear "Chuek", "Brat". Anyway, in years to come, their minds will clear when puberty stops shaking them. I can't think of a brother and sister who don't fight. Visit them, then you will leave and you will pass. In time, you will have children of your own and raise them as you see fit. Keep in mind that in theory it is easier than in practice.
It is not right for people to accept you in their home, and for you to interfere in the upbringing of their children like an old mother-in-law. When you have children, you will raise them as you wish.