Feeling lonely is awful! Nobody understands you, and the place next to you is always empty. Then you understand that there are no eternal friends, only people with great hatred. You realize that it's all up to you, and that no one will lend you a hand. There is no such thing as luck, sometimes life is like an impossible game! Everyone chooses how to feel, and I'm tired of being unhappy! It's time to be happy, I'll say goodbye to my unfortunate fate!
Answers 4
You are a real Nedyalko Yordanov, you were a soul !!! :-)
You don't bring the rhymes yet, the only thing that happened to you was "unfortunate-unhappy". However, if you started writing soon, that's fine. Otherwise, there are a lot of things that need to be corrected to become a good verse. Success!
Here you are learning: (I have no pretensions to be a poet ...) Loneliness ------------ Loneliness pulsates like a hot bullet in my forehead. She sang her wild songs next to me in bed. Hidden in a dark corner, she fills my day with sadness, but I once lied to her - I dreamed you were next to me: We carelessly ran along the beach - undressed and long-haired, and then we even threw a sparkling wave to carry us. After sunset ... we walked quietly, you - huddled next to my shoulder. We talked about the stars we only know ... In an old seaside restaurant, nestled in the silent rocks, we dined by candlelight and played samba with zeal until dawn. We came home in the morning fresh. Captured by the night's excitement, we started with a tender kiss and kissed madly. Then - I remember through the fog - we barely made it to the shower in the hot water bath, and then slept all afternoon. The next day we happily went with you to the mountain amid the murmur of playful streams - cool fresh among the greenery. We walked among the wonderful landscapes with flowers and herbs in the young grass. We picked mushrooms in the forest, sang songs ... We prepared our lunch on the fire. We turned down a dark path - we came to a cave, when ... among a rumble of rocks we fought with a dragon, we found gold in one of the holes! After the battle - torn and wild with a paraglider from the ridge ominously, we flew among the gray clouds but a storm turned - we walked. A torrent of madness poured from the heights, thunder struck us from the side of the road - it tempered us, scorched our hair ... then I felt it was a dream ... I woke up. Loneliness was raging next to me, but he laughed at me again, and then - giving way before dawn - he boiled again in a dark corner.
Comment number 2 - you did not succeed with the understanding of rhymes :) there is a relative rhyme in one place - terribly empty. And in the last verse she has decided not to rhyme with - feelings-happy. The work is very good. There must be some remarks somewhere, but I haven't looked. I liked it and just wanted to make a little adjustment for commentator number 2. :)