Hello! I am 21 years old and I have never had a serious relationship. I have a problem with intimacy, both emotional and physical. I don't want to sound narcissistic, but I'm attractive and supportive. Men are often interested in me, but even if I like someone, I can't relax. I've never dated more than 2-3 people, not because I wanted to, but because I couldn't think of an excuse not to go. Meetings make me feel like I'm going to have a panic attack, I get nervous and I want to leave as soon as possible. This unpleasant feeling made me start isolating myself and avoiding meeting opportunities, not to mention commitment. For a moment I was almost deluded that a person can live fully and alone, but this is not the case. Sometimes the only thing I want is a warm hug and closeness to someone, but it seems to me, everything is more achievable than that ... and I don't know what to do. I have never touched a man in my life except for my first kiss which happened by force and then I did not repeat. I must be very wrong, but please don't judge me. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Answers 15
It all comes from the family you grew up in, especially the relationship with your mother. It will be difficult to cope without professional help from a specialist - psychologist, psychotherapist, as well as a lot of reading literature on the subject. Good luck.
Don't think about it, don't panic, it won't be like that.
You are afraid of being hurt, so you are afraid of commitment. You have to accept the fact that you can be with a man for a few months and then your relationship falls apart. You can say you're a little anxious when you have a date. Also, if you do not like a man, there is no point in going on a date with him, because you will not like to have an intimate relationship with him.
In general, I do not write here, but the text reminded me of myself some time ago and I decided to share my experience. I think you have to be more persistent, the anxiety will pass over time, you don't have to give up so quickly. I know it's hard, but it's the only way not to be alone. You know that it makes no sense to panic, you say that you are attractive, and from the text I read I understand that you are intelligent. The man you date must be patient with you, and if he is in love with you, he will be. I am also anxious and shy, but I found a person who did not give up on me after seeing my shortcomings and now I am happy, and before I felt lonely like you. Why don't you try dating a boy and calling a girlfriend? This will make you feel calmer. Good luck.
In order to want intimacy, you must also give it. Without communication there is no way. If you do not make an effort to change and be more open to people, you will not succeed. Seek help from a psychologist.
I'll tell you another story. I'm a man and I dated a girl the same as you, I knew he liked me, but he was worried ... And nothing happened. We lose both of all the work. I am also very lonely. I was even percussive now. Anxiety is a great enemy of love. Which, unfortunately, I have a little bit of in me, even though I'm a man. You just have to be attracted to both sides, relax and come across a man who will be afraid to kiss you. After the kiss, the barriers fall and everything goes very easily. But you should know that men also worry sometimes and women should predispose us as we predispose them. In general, a two-way process is ..
It's great that you realize and understand it. Meet a psychologist and talk. Often the reason lies in childhood, upbringing and parents.
I'm a boy of 20 and things are similar, but a girl like you sounds perfect for a serious relationship! I would love to help you!
Your story sounds pretty crazy to me, but I understand you perfectly in this whole thing. I also felt tense, ashamed when I was on dates with boys, and that's perfectly normal. Anxiety when I don't like the person and see that I am attracted to him. I was really sick. But that's up to experience I guess. Now I don't strain in such a way that I can definitely attract them, since they don't like me, I have nothing to worry about haha. Are you wondering if you are asexual? Because you say one hug and closeness to someone is enough for me and only that. I have also had such moments of thinking that this is all I need and nothing more. But I'm certainly not asexual because I'm attracted to boys. And often the first kisses are a failure. They are often very picky and inexperienced. And to normally have a problem with intimacy with someone because first you have to have trust, liking, falling in love and many things. Before physically attracting you. It's not just about grabbing someone, it's true. It's just that nowadays it's hard to find a quality boy who isn't just looking for a breakup. and not only wears pants, but has other qualities. You may just not get the right people. Or you really have a problem and you're asexual and you don't realize it. And that's why any intimacy makes you spin. Literally. F 24 Or you really have a problem and you're asexual and you don't realize it. And that's why any intimacy makes you spin. Literally. F 24 Or you really have a problem and you're asexual and you don't realize it. And that's why any intimacy makes you spin. Literally. F 24
what are these shy girls I do not understand! When I open Instagram, Facebook, the tube and everyone else, something completely different is seen ... Not to mention the ass on public transport. And they were even virgins! Where have you been? Show yourself to see you! Every man wants women like you ... How can a man not doubt the authenticity of the topic !?
Are you radina Most of you are so good, except for the former complex ugliness, which kills his self-confidence, forgetting what they were like before the operations.
It's obviously hard to get out of your comfort zone. You will find someone who will predispose you well and then you will feel calm. Or the other thing I advise is ... just write to each other, talk to someone for as long as possible before you see each other. So internally you will want to see him so strongly that you will not have patience (of course if you like the person and you have already talked about all sorts of topics late at night). Then there will be worries and a strange feeling in the stomach again, but after 1-2 meetings he will calm down and you will feel very good in his company. There is nothing else!!! It does not happen by force. Slightly lighter with small steps.
A serious relationship with a man is not a guarantee that you will feel better. I tell you from personal experience. :) It's a matter of luck, and today you can be lonely and reserved, but tomorrow you can have someone. Like you, I was frightened by loneliness, but then I realized that you can be happy alone if you know how to control your emotions.
I support number 1 - I think a psychotherapist would help you a lot.
If you are worried about going to more than 2-3 meetings, let's go to 2-3 meetings and who is from where! I'm serious - it will be more enjoyable than standing alone. And I have experience with panic attacks, so if necessary, I will help.