I feel powerless people, I watch my brother ruin before my eyes, he is two years older than me, but obviously something did not work out in his life. His social life is lame everywhere, he is 22 years old, and he has almost no friends, not to mention a girlfriend. After the end of 2011. he started drinking a lot, he didn't even go to his prom, but after he got his diploma he started drinking a lot every day. There were no fixes, the daily drunkenness was just the beginning, then it started with the scandals, and finally it ended in the district. After another spectacular performance, my parents decided to send him to a psychologist, he spent a year and a half. Apparently the psychologist was of some use, my brother stopped drinking, started studying and entered with one of the highest grades at the university where I also studied. And so 2013 started learning, as if there was some light in the tunnel, the first semester took it with honors, even took a scholarship, but the second semester started again with old stories, constant drunkenness, last month he had not sobered up for three weeks, this is not normal. Eventually, I realized that his colleagues found him to be one of the most intelligent and smart on the course, but they also began to be impressed by his alcohol problems. Now, in the second semester, his success has dropped dramatically, they even left him on correction in two subjects, but when I look at him, he doesn't care much. I talked to his former classmates and acquaintances, later I found out that in school up to 10th grade he was physically and mentally abused, then something happened, he started drinking, smoking, fighting, shaking and walking in brothels. I shared everything I learned about him with my parents, they were shocked. Afterwards, when you think about it, he is obviously the loneliest person I know, without friends, we tried to help him in any way, but this help is as much as he allowed us. I've tried to get him out with my friends, but things don't work out. About three months ago, I tried to introduce him to my good friend, who is a decent girl, and he threatened me in front of the whole family and in front of her that he would break me to pieces if I tried to do such "nonsense" one more time. I don't know, but this can't go on, when he comes home from university or work he immediately starts pouring beer, smokes weed in his room and doesn't sleep, my parents have given up on him, half his salary leaves her on ours to cover expenses, and the rest gives for trump and beer.
Answers 5
Everyone chooses their own destiny and life, young boy! You say that your brother is smart, he is probably not ugly or bad, and he could have a great girlfriend if he makes some effort on the issue ... HOWEVER, HE HAS CHOSEN THE EASY WAY - to irritate his senses, to obscure his consciousness without cares about no one and nothing, and at the same time to experience himself as a VICTIM - see how lonely and unhappy he was. Well, there is no one to catch up with you, since no one cares about you and you constantly act like an ASS! Let it fry in its own sauce - for such people this is best! Be sure that the psychologist has done a great job, but he is not a person who can take him everywhere by the hand or carry him on his shoulder throughout his life ... Make sure you are not like him! You have a WONDERFUL NEGATIVE EXAMPLE BEFORE YOUR EYES WHAT YOU SHOULD NEVER BECOME! Reach adulthood and get out of there if it is intolerable. You will NOT fix your brother! Doesn't a person want to help himself, if the LORD will come down from HEAVEN - and he will not be able to help him!
First, don't regret being lonely. This is the worst thing you can do. He realizes this very well, but he obviously can't find the right way to deal with the problem. The thing is, he has to help himself. That's why he reacted so badly when you tried to introduce him to a girl. Of course, you didn't do anything wrong, but he felt with a crushed confidence that his younger brother was doing better in life and you had hurt his dignity. But it's his fault, you did something good, but he obviously has a very low self-esteem and thinks he doesn't deserve such good treatment.
In general, the more intuitive and smarter side of indiscriminate social contacts, it's kind of like the law. Big companies, a lot of "friends" do not thank, it's very boring for a man with a brain. The true friends of one person in life are no more than 3-4 people, the other is a waste of time. This applies to the girlfriend in full force. It's easy to catch a decent-looking woman, but it's far harder to swallow what she does, what she carries as a past, and a smart man can even subconsciously understand all this without having to dig too hard. That's why he doesn't cut his hair, at this age it's normal to choke on the misunderstanding why the world is like this with alcohol, but there will come a time when it will get better.
It feels better that way. There is no point in trying to help, because only alcohol and drugs help him by making him feel better.
I experience the same thing, this harassment crushed him very mentally. It took me a long time to forget it, but I am still traumatized, I can not communicate with people at all and as a matter of course I have no friends. He probably hated people, it seems that there is a lot of aggression in him. It's a pity I can't talk to him, I can't give them any advice and I'm in the same hole :) PP I envy him that he has such a caring brother