Hello to all readers here! :) Many times I thought whether to tell my story. I thought about it and realized that I needed advice too. There is no one to share. Or rather, I do not trust .. My story is long and desperate, so thank you in advance to the patient, who will be few ... We met when I was 14 and he was 15. He was just hanging out. he was nagging. when he saw me .. Then he moved with my cousin in the company, until one day we were inseparable. In general, children's work. We were 2 years old when we started dating, at a disco mostly. I was wrong to admit my feelings to him, and he just paid attention to me. It all started as a joke, I told him that I loved him in the eyes, and I still did not know what it was .. We were small, he did not know what he wanted, and I wanted only one thing: I wanted him next to me. Mistake 2: I told him that I will wait for him to want to have a relationship and understand what he wants. I said as much as there is in my life, I will wait for it. He wanted to see me all the time. However, he met other girls after that ... One, two, three ... He was always looking for me. Whatever I do, whatever he does. He met ours and I met his parents, as if we were just friends. In my grief, I befriended his sister because she wanted to tell her what was happening to me, that I was suffering. Every holiday we were with him, he came to us, and the rest of the time I went to them or went out. His parents and especially his mother and sister liked me for his girlfriend (although I didn't have much contact with his mother). Conclusion: He was with me and he wasn't ... When I wanted to give him up, he was always looking for me and reminding me of himself, of us ... We supported each other for better or for worse. He hurt me a lot with his actions - Yes, but he was just a kid who didn't know what he wanted. However, we had so many beautiful moments and I remember laughing together to tears (I never laughed like that with anyone). She appeared ... The little one ... His friend's ex ... Beside his friend, she started moving with us, with the company ... He was falling in love without feeling ... I've known him since I knew him. changes, just not even with me, to understand what he wants and to be happy .. And he ... wanted to change her ... Her attitude and behavior, to become like mine, that she behaved like a savage .. (We go to a restaurant, she collects her bones from the dog plate); He once said it in front of me: '' I will change this girl, to behave like her (me). "She was very fond of his mother and had befriended her. I thought a lot but after another 2 years, I had already loved it, for the first time I loved it! However, I did not want to be selfish, I decided to let him be happy with her. It's bad when they don't trust you, but you know, it's worse when they trust you too much. He remembered my words that with whatever he was, I would wait for him. We talked and I told him that I wanted to go to another city and be happy with her. He didn't want to believe it. He always denied that he was with her, but they were together ... They had a secret relationship. I wanted to give him up now, I started dating one of his closest friends to forget him and something else, to hurt him and I, maybe ... He got angry when he found out because I went with his fr. where they gathered and I saw them together with the one ... He hugged her. I laughed in his eyes and told him to start the car back. He started shouting, started calling me the next day all the time. He knows that his sister and I are friends, and he told her that I was dating his friend, and he was rubbish and was going to ruin me. I really decided to leave. I said goodbye to him, and he didn't believe or didn't want to believe. He asked me if I had another one and I said, "Yes, and I'm happy." I had met a boy in Sofia while I was working. My mother had worked there for years and I had just graduated and she wanted to take me with her. Then he started with psycho attacks of jealousy: '' You know, now, if you hadn't told me you were happy with someone else, we would be together and be happy ... '' '' I just don't want to be together , I don't even want your friendship. "I promised him I would try not to see each other again unless it was an accident. He wanted to see me the next day, and I was already traveling, when he called me. So I started a new life, in a new city, with a new person. My mother was next to me, and I had relatives next to me. I continued to meet the boy I had met. While I was graduating, we only saw each other, the holidays, but when I moved to Sofia, the meetings became more frequent. I wanted to forget the grief, I just wanted to be happy, but I still loved him. This boy was very attached to me, our relationship deepened a lot. He loved me, he truly loved me for the first time. My mother knew what I had experienced with mine and asked me: '' Why don't you try to be happy and always suffer the impossible? "Then something enlightened me and I moved on. He continued with her, in our small town. Waiting for the change of my first love, I forgot myself, ruined myself and did my best to change it so that it would be human. I set out to prove myself, without knowing who I really am .. And so I grew up, but with my mistakes, naive and hurt, I created a serious relationship and even reached a family. First I was with my mother, then the apartment together, separately, then I got pregnant and so on ... My dream came true, I had a daughter, I was very happy for my child. But now I think ... Have I ever loved my father ... Or have I just left myself in his arms to erase all the pain. All these years, my boyfriend was looking for me, calling, writing, wanting to see me, and always asking, "When." He knew I had already become a mother because I had told him when I was pregnant. He continued his relationship with that girl. In fact, now I think: He believed that he had lost me ... I kept postponing our meeting ... I told him for so many years: '' I promised you something, not to see you again, unless accidental. "or" Only 3 years have passed, let's at least become 5 and we will talk about our meeting "" In fact, I was afraid of this meeting, even late, I did not know if I forgot it or suggested. Every time he persuaded me, at least for his birthday, to come and see him. He always wanted that. I postponed .. He and she separated, they were together for a long time, but .. It just didn't work anymore ... and .... We contacted over the years, and now we are in contact ... But now, at the age of 6, we saw each other , things just turned in our favor. He realized his mistakes, to forgive him if I could. He realized that the life he led had no meaning. *** Everyone makes mistakes, especially when they are very young! Me..? I am not God to ask my forgiveness. *** He changed, I didn't want to go for his birthday like he always wanted. But my friend came from Ireland and we only saw each other for 1 day and asked us to go to our hometown together, to see her for more time. That's what we decided to return to both, 2 days before his birthday. I didn't tell him that I had come, even though we were just writing and he felt me again .. He felt ... Without telling him and in a few minutes he was in front of my terrace and calling my name ... I went out, met my daughter we. We hadn't seen each other for 6 years, and as he reached out to my little girl, he saw her for the first time. We hadn't forgotten for so long. I postponed this meeting. I only loved him. I made my dreams come true, even without him. *** Are lost years made up? *** We saw each other every day, we didn't miss a day for half a month. He really wanted us to stay together, to go back there. We talked about it every day. He told me that I had lost confidence in him once, but in the previous man who was. This man who is now would not betray me ... Until I left again. I didn't want tears, I didn't want pain, but I told him, now even if he hurts me, I will continue without him. He knows the girl in me, but not the woman. And yet we were not together, I did not betray my daughter and her father. I restrained myself, although I still love this man. He hasn't been in the family lately, there are no conversations and many things, such as the father's attention to me and the child. He is a workaholic, he wants the best for the child, but does a child end up caring only with money? I prayed to him for a long time and made an effort to keep my family so that my child would be happy, I prayed for attention for 3 years. I felt like an object at home. I only know one thing, no matter what happens, no matter what I experience, I will not give up my child. This is my dream come true. I will fight for her. Accept my apologies for my novel, I will be grateful for any opinion. April, 25
Answers 15
Sentimental romance ... a little naive .. It's nice, but it's a pity! You will still suffer, I hope I'm wrong, but ... And you can't try to change someone to be happy. It sounds illogical, naive and childish. You do not feel with his heart and you do not think with his head. Only he can know or find out what makes him happy. And darling, it's not you! You were the one, always there, a sure presence and support, faithful as a dog ... almost like a mother (with a bonus). I'm sorry if it sounds cynical to you, (I mean your romantic view of the past and now), but I'm the stranger who reads your story impartially. Without embedded emotions, (out of the ordinary) and this is what I "see". Are lost years coming back? !! No, of course! Maybe something can be learned through shared stories, memories ... The question, however, is it worth it? Is it worth trying with him and not with your husband? Is it worth checking to see if he would love you the way you want him to? Will he love your child? There are actually a lot of questions. For a new love, an unknown opportunity, I would definitely say, give credit to a loan with one mind. But this one is painfully familiar to you. He knows you too. He knows how to manipulate you. Quote: "We hadn't seen each other for 6 years, and as he reached out to my little girl, he saw her for the first time." I do not advise you anything. I ask questions. If you want to think, ask yourself questions about other things that I am sure I have saved in your story. They are probably more painful. Consciously or not, you put it in a romantic brand, and you use your heart for the setting. I have always wished others here on the site - success. To you - realism! Without losing the other (romance,
Hello, I want to tell you that your story is very similar to mine from my youth .. And I loved a boy madly, we went out together everywhere, we were inseparable until I fell in love with him. In the end I decided to confess to him, because I couldn't take it anymore, and you know - he turned his back on me, got colder, he called me less and less .. And he caught a friend from another city .. However, we heard each other, we went to them, she hugged me, she came to my ball, she didn't go to hers. She called him to live with her in another city, he refused, and she told me with tears in her eyes that she did not want to go there, even though he was with her ... One night she wrote to me - I know that you love me and I love you. I love ... I shivered ... But I knew that our relationship was impossible .. She also offered me to make love, I refused, I was in pain - he was with her but he was also looking for me ... What can I tell you, the years they passed,
Too many of us do not live our dreams because we are too busy to live our fears !!!
My husband and I have been together for 7 years and it hasn't been going well for 3 years.
There are no recipes for happiness. But I think the parent has the right to choose who to grow old with. The children are leaving us ... And we also have the right to be happy.
To number 3: It's difficult to communicate from a distance .. Although it's not the distance that divides people, but the closeness between them .. And about my story, he broke up with his girlfriend. Maybe he wanted to give him a second chance, and when he saw that you weren't, he continued with her. It is true that two people love each other a lot, it does not mean that they will be together .. When they told me that, I did not believe .. It's just that things are very confused. Thanks for sharing your story :) Smiles.
Author, I understand how you feel, but you also understand that you are mistaken about something just because it is left unexperienced. It was youthful love, downright childish. If a similar story had developed at a later stage (after 20 years), I would have asked you why you were both so stupid. But at this early age it is something very very normal and often happens to very many people. You have nothing to blame yourself for, that's how it should have happened. If you had experienced love, you would now have a memory and nothing more likely - you would hardly have endured for a long time, you would hardly have started a family. Don't you understand that you just didn't fit in? You haven't been able to adjust, to find out who wants what for so long, because it was impossible and that's it. Your only mistake is that you didn't make a living at all, you hurried to start a family. But you already have this family and it will be good to tighten up a bit. I understand that at the moment you secretly want to leave your husband, to experience this love, but ... Your husband is not to blame for your unexperienced adolescence, so it is not right to do so to him - to regret what you did. The fact that the conversations did not go with him is just one of your inner excuses. Look at things as a more mature person and especially smarter. In any relationship, the thrill subsides gradually, a little bored, there are many crises, difficult moments as you will. In order to overcome these things, they must first and foremost have a desire to overcome them. If you think that your husband has to feel everything and change what is lame while you dream of the past, then your family will surely fall apart soon. Have you tried to share with your husband what weighs on you? Have you tried to bring some joy, thrill, tease? If not, why not give it a try? It's very easy to say "something is wrong" or "I'm missing something". Don't get up like those immature old men who have love affairs in cars and bushes, because they lacked something, there was no thrill and the other one was also to blame ... Probably the other one is also to blame, but did he go looking for your fault as well ? And he may be missing something, and you may not be the ideal woman, but it's not fair to justify in your mind "not going" and even give up talking to the other on this topic. Didn't you have good moments with this husband as well, weren't there kind words, worries, wasn't there a thrill at all? I don't believe there was. Think of your good times and try to rediscover your husband. And for this unexperienced love - do you think that you will be happy for a long time and will return what you missed? If you think, then you are very lost ... At 25 it is not like at 15 - this is the first. Second, this "new man" who would never hurt you, do you think he really acts like a gentleman, like a mature man who loves you? I think he is selfish - now it has occurred to him to look for what he has slept in and wants to satisfy his ego sooner. He knows that you have a family, would he dare to ask you to commit infidelity if his feelings were so pure, selfless? That young man she was once in love with, would he want to share you with someone and turn you into a whore? This is the difference after 7-8 or 10 years (I did not understand exactly how many). If he loved you so madly, he wouldn't let you start a family with someone else. Why did he realize the "great love" only after his separation? Think about these questions. For me, too, he is very deluded at the moment and is just looking for his own - which once belonged to him. Once he gets it, I don't believe he wants it forever. Don't betray the people for whom you really mean something and who have given you something - with them you have a future! The other will be lived for a short time and will pass forever, but it will cause a lot of damage.
From the Author, to number 8: I tried many things to save my family. I gave away and nothing was left of me. We have talked many times about things that are lame. I have made so many romantic surprises, I have made an effort for variety in bed. I am even much more active than my husband. I find it strange, because men love to do it. So I found this site, I started reading different things about life. I just have the feeling that everything is over. I have been praying to my husband for 3 years, I talk to him, I wanted us to be happy ... And he from home to work, from work on the laptop, if not on the phone .. I thought I was bothering him with something and so he sat down to plays. I went to my hometown and for 2 weeks, he still did not stop playing. We heard each other all the time, I heard the game while we were talking. Whatever I tried, I feel like an object at home. Do not get me wrong, I'm not thinking of starting a family with that boy. I wouldn't run to do that because I suffered so much, and even if a man asked me now to live together, I wouldn't live. I just love my boy, I haven't forgotten him.
To number 8: Besides, now I put the tape back when I left, he followed me and kept ringing. It happened after a while, I didn't know why I was so insistent on lifting. He told me he had come and I didn't want to see him, I told him to leave me alone. And it went on until they took my number and I bought a new card. However, this does not justify it. But I did my best to leave me alone because I didn't want him to hurt me anymore. The author.
I would be happy to just love someone so much to this day. Unfortunately, fewer and fewer people are capable of such sincere feelings.
Thanks to number 11 :) He understood my story ... I just really loved once and I continue, it's in me. I am powerless to erase it. They say time heals, but it is impossible for something real. And before what he was, and this man he has become, I still love him! The man who hurt me and the man who loves me no matter how much he changes is unique to me.
I don't like your story
Hello. I want to ask the author, when did things start to go wrong before you went to your childhood friend or after? I ask because if you showed that you don't love your child's father, and you showed it, even unconsciously, but this is felt by the person who loves you so much, knows you to the point of pain and I think, at least I would, if I feel that something is wrong, I will start trying not to think about it, I will try to distract him by working late and always avoiding my partner. But at least I think he's sensed that you don't love him sincerely, and so he's comforted by being further away from you. My opinion.
From the Author to number 14: Things haven't been going well for 3 years. It wasn't the reason for the meeting, because it was recent.
He wanted me to come back to live in our city, he would do anything, just to be happy .. Chatter, bang ... I thought and thought about things so many times. He showers me with promises and attention, but he is a man of words only. Behaves like a child gets together with much younger. He gets involved in beatings, ostensibly because of. friends, drink often. When I found out about these things, I asked him, he is 26 years old, how old does he have to be to come to his senses ... The answer was 'I don't know' .. I know that while he is in our hometown nothing will change. .. However, he did not want to move, loved there. Well, to sit with the kids ... He constantly teases me that I don't know what I want. I really believed in his change, but his way of life is the same ... There is something empty in me, I was glad to see him, but when he hugged me and tried to kiss me, I felt emptiness. He was the only person which I loved to madness. He will remain special but has no passion.