Hello!
I also decided to share something that has been bothering me lately.
I have a boyfriend from another city. He is super passionate about games, always playing something. I also play in my free time, but not as much as him. He is currently a student. Due to the state of emergency, we cannot see each other. We last saw each other at the end of January. A few days later, he changed. He rarely says and shows that he loves me. We don't talk on the phone as often as we used to. He is usually busy playing various games. If we do hear each other, it will talk about games.
All he keeps doing is writing to me every morning when he gets up and asking how I'm doing. I'm not saying it's small, but it's not much (I compare before and now). I asked him several times what was wrong, if I had done something, and he always said that everything was normal. I do not think so. I do not know what to do. I want him to pay more attention to us and talk about our things, look at each other on camera, laugh and communicate late (as we did before). He has said many times that he wants us to be a family and have children.
Love it. Sometimes I despair and wonder what to do. I don't want to hurt him, but I also don't want to feel bad about him. I am sensitive and tears are not foreign to me.
And more info - he had connections before, but he didn't have serious ones like this. We had sex and I was his first.
In short, this is the story.
Would you give an opinion / advice on how to proceed?
Thanks to everyone who will read my notebook.
Answers 13
1
dj4niz answered · July 12, 2020
Be careful with such, do you want a family with such, will he look after the children or will he play?
2
deepsiime answered · July 12, 2020
Explain to him that you don't mind if he plays sometimes, but if he stops paying attention to you, you'll just end the relationship and that's it.
He'll freak out and either tell you to leave or start making promises. If you continue to be together for up to a month, you still have to enter this conversation, straight cut and point.
3
mocha_ answered · July 12, 2020
Games, of course, love is temporary, games are forever.
4
samarasweet1 answered · July 12, 2020
Talk to him. Tell him calmly and without drama that you used to talk more on different topics, but now you rarely hear each other and he only talks about games. Just share your observations with him and tell him that you have the feeling that your relationship is in the background and you are worried. Ask him out well if he is no longer absorbed in the connection.
5
sashapik answered · July 12, 2020
Come on, as long as you turn everything to "games or me"! The fact that he fills his time with them does not mean that because of them he does not communicate with you. Do you think that he may miss seeing you a lot and that hanging on camera only irritates his need to see you and be with you? Or maybe just because he has no choice but to stay at home, he has decided to indulge a little in games that are only played at home, in other words, now is the time when there is no work and going out to study. Or maybe you're just out of the initial period in which couples spend hours on camera and don't stop writing, and then it calms down a bit. Girls, you always get used to it and then you get angry that it won't be like that forever. Well it won't be, yes! He shows care for you again and that he loves you, you just want him to be constant. People have their periods - now he has given himself a little to games, it's quarantine. You seem to love it, not accept it. What do you want from us? If games are his passion, from time to time in his life he will give them meaning and time more than usual, at high tide, now he is quarantined and he is high tide. Will you always grumble on the forums that the person you have chosen is as he is? It seems to me that in this quarantine you are bored, like many other people, and you want him to be bored and to hang out on camera all day and tell each other 300 times that you love each other, and you are angry that he has found something to fill the time he is forced to spend with them. The boy has told himself eloquently enough that he has plans for the future with you, that he loves you and still tries to take care of you every morning, you just don't love him as he is, but want to grumble to strangers about some of his traits and hobbies. . You heard that there was a rumor that someone's hobby is virtual and you started playing "martyr" on the forums. Learn to accept your partners. One hobby car and all day is under or in them and can be killed every day, another hobby sport and you do not see his eyes from gyms and playgrounds, the third games online. Such is the man and this attracts him, sometimes he will play a little, sometimes - a lot. It is now quarantined and it is very clear that it is a period with a lot. You just haven't learned to accept it. Give up your woman's sick ambition that he will occupy all or most of his time with you. Learn to accept the person you "love" or leave him to a more mature and understanding.
6
vrgngrueso answered · July 12, 2020
What memories did your story bring to me ... I had such a boyfriend 5 years ago. This one had been sitting on the computer all day, and now he's still doing it, he's even deepened the situation ... shame! This is a disease ...
7
nekabru answered · July 13, 2020
Obviously, the author does not want to join the discussion, but only to read. Let him tell how old they are, whether they work, study, at what stage they are in this development so that we can take stock of the situation. And something else. How do you know you're his first? in his words?
8
lilcosmos answered · July 13, 2020
3-That's right!
The games are much more interesting than some general tales and explanations in love.
Playstation is a man's best friend.
Games and porn will save the world from the virus, not love and hanging on benches and parks!
9
persifnut answered · July 13, 2020
As an ex-addict, I'm telling you straight: don't bother.
This addiction does not heal quickly and you do not need to wait for years (maybe decades) for it to come to your senses. Words are cheap. And I can say that I am a single mother of three children, and the three girls, and the three named after Uncle Gosho. I can even write it in plain text and upload it in a comment for anyone to read. The word is not true, look at his choices. Follow the actions.
He is not ready for family relationships and if he abandons his current "hobby" (drug) for you, then he will only blame you. There is no connection here, only parasitic coexistence.
10
callmedominator7 answered · July 14, 2020
You should not take the opinion of number 9 into account at all. Although there is such a thing as an addiction to games, this does not seem to be the case at all. You claim to be doing this right now while you are not together. Which is normal. Even if you play when you're together, I don't believe it's that often. He just needs to relax in some way or just fill his time. The best answer so far is number 5, at least from what you gave us as information.
11
oldgoat666 answered · July 14, 2020
I support number 5. Everyone has the right to hobbies and interests. You can't just write all day, cameras.
The current situation is such that no matter who wants to, there is nowhere to go. That's why people find a vent. Whether it's sports, books, movies, TV series, drawing, or like your friend-games. There is nothing tragic in the whole thing. The boy just fills his time and is distracted. Talking to you may burden him. Not because of anything else, but because you can't go somewhere, get together with friends and it weighs on him.
I don't know how old you are, but men should have free time. Just as you would not like a sticky boyfriend, so they do not like.
12
sweetcarmen92 answered · July 14, 2020
Try to get it on track, but know if GTA 6 comes out - it's all lost. ;): D
-smile on life
13
sgeen answered · July 15, 2020
Let the boy play. We are in quarantine and it is harder to see each other now. You miss seeing each other and, accordingly, more attention. that he doesn't love you?!?
What to do ? To soak in front of the phone all day and write to you? I understand you, as a woman, that you would be fine and I am in your position, but I sat down and talked to him and told him that I wanted a little more attention so that such crazy thoughts would not invade my head that I did not want to crawls to his feet and writes 24/7, but just to communicate more, because without that we can not see each other who knows how often. As long as you attack the boys because of the games. we have no right to demand it. Just talk to him like a normal person and if he is a dude he will understand you.