Hello. My boyfriend and I have been together for about half a year. Everything developed very quickly, from dating to first date, then kissing, etc. I am a girl who does not have much experience in love (he is my third boyfriend, I am 20 years old), but he has (at 22 is, not that it matters). The problem is rooted in his last relationship, which lasted 5 years. He claims that he suffered great psychological trauma. The young lady in question was a jerk, jealousy, a tramp of dignity and whatever other negatives you can think of. They broke up a few months before we left with him.
He claims that because of her he is currently afraid to fall in love again - she marked his life too fatally because he was in love with her and dedicated himself to her at that time. Relations between us are very good at the moment, but we just talked about them recently. He admitted to me some time ago that in some of our first meetings, he began to feel the thrills of love. He likes me very much, he loves me. But he's just not in love. He is afraid of being disappointed again. I feel kind of unequal because I'm in love with him and he's not. I'm anxious for this bad memory to haunt us and for me to suffer from it. He said he needed time to immerse himself in our relationship and abstract from his past.
Do you think it is possible for a person to fall in love after 5-6 months of relationship? I am very pessimistic, because usually if a person falls in love, it happens in the first months of the relationship when the interest is strongest. I don't know if I should hope in advance. And another question. In your opinion, can love without falling in love exist? he was beginning to feel the tremors of love. He likes me very much, he loves me. But he's just not in love. He is afraid of being disappointed again. I feel kind of unequal because I'm in love with him and he's not. I'm anxious for this bad memory to haunt us and for me to suffer from it. He said he needed time to immerse himself in our relationship and abstract from his past. Do you think it is possible for a person to fall in love after 5-6 months of relationship? I am very pessimistic, because usually if a person falls in love, it happens in the first months of the relationship, when the interest is strongest. I don't know if I should hope in advance. And another question. In your opinion, can love without falling in love exist? he was beginning to feel the tremors of love. He likes me very much, he loves me. But he's just not in love. He is afraid of being disappointed again. I feel kind of unequal because I'm in love with him and he's not. I'm anxious for this bad memory to haunt us and for me to suffer from it. He said he needed time to immerse himself in our relationship and abstract from his past. Do you think it is possible for a person to fall in love after 5-6 months of relationship?
I am very pessimistic, because usually if a person falls in love, it happens in the first months of the relationship when the interest is strongest. I don't know if I should hope in advance. And another question. In your opinion, can love without falling in love exist? I feel kind of unequal because I'm in love with him and he's not. I'm anxious for this bad memory to haunt us and for me to suffer from it. He said he needed time to immerse himself in our relationship and abstract from his past. Do you think it is possible for a person to fall in love after 5-6 months of relationship?
I am very pessimistic, because usually if a person falls in love, it happens in the first months of the relationship when the interest is strongest. I don't know if I should hope in advance. And another question. In your opinion, can love without falling in love exist? I feel kind of unequal because I'm in love with him and he's not. I'm anxious for this bad memory to haunt us and for me to suffer from it. He said he needed time to immerse himself in our relationship and abstract from his past. Do you think it is possible for a person to fall in love after 5-6 months of relationship? I am very pessimistic, because usually if a person falls in love, it happens in the first months of the relationship, when the interest is strongest. I don't know if I should hope in advance. And another question. In your opinion, can love without falling in love exist?
Do you think it is possible for a person to fall in love after 5-6 months of relationship? I am very pessimistic, because usually if a person falls in love, it happens in the first months of the relationship when the interest is strongest. I don't know if I should hope in advance. And another question. In your opinion, can love without falling in love exist? Do you think it is possible for a person to fall in love after 5-6 months of relationship? I am very pessimistic, because usually if a person falls in love, it happens in the first months of the relationship when the interest is strongest. I don't know if I should hope in advance. And another question. In your opinion, can love without falling in love exist?
Answers 5
Author, with three friends at the age of 20, you have enough experience - at least in number you have surpassed much older women, if that measured the experience ... Otherwise, catch and watch your studies and work and as long as your relationship is over. . Enjoy communicating with the person you love and don't dig into his past, don't ask him to say "I love you" and take down your stars - such love is always false. Men generally find it much harder to admit their feelings to themselves - let alone the woman. He just doesn't want to promise you anything, he wants to see what happens between you - normally after his experience with the other woman. Don't worry about it, no one has been operated on out of love for such a relationship in the past. Let it develop, and with it your relationship. Over time, there will be more confidence in you and things will adjust. I'm telling you from my own experience - my husband was divorced when we met, he had a very difficult marriage behind him and it took him 3 years to say "I love you". Sometimes real things just take time. Give it to him if you love him. Love without asking for a return service and enjoy the summer, your relationship, let things develop ...
Author: I don't ask him to tell me "I love you" every time I tell him, I'm not so paranoid and suffocating. It will be naughty, because nothing that does not come from within is good. It just doesn't happen that he is the FIRST to tell me that he loves me, to see some initiative from him. That's why I feel somehow damaged in this regard. I am a student and I study, I find classes, I do not do idle and I do not spend all day thinking "what is he doing, does he think about me". :) It bites me from time to time, however, the question I asked in the information and I will be happy if a man also expresses an opinion.
I don't think one can intentionally control one's emotions, and even experience doesn't change that. There are even people who have been broken not once, but countless times. Did they want that? No one is capable of that. If you feel good in your relationship, you have no problem. Don't make artificial problems. If you are having a good time, why should you be dissatisfied. And honestly, do you really care about analyzing concepts like love, falling in love and the like? The reality is how the other person treats you, you should feel if he really wants you or is experiencing his ex. If it's the latter, then leave it, if not, give it time.
Looking, he's not ready for a new relationship yet, why should he hurt you? Break up with him ... stop with those "he needed time" as he needs time - dump him and come to his senses to look for you. He doesn't have to burden you with his problems. Look, you're in love with him now, but in time you'll meet someone else. It's not worth strengthening this connection, it won't work. He is obsessed with his ex, his self-esteem is lower than the grass at the moment and he stays with you as long as he has a girlfriend. Don't bother with him at all ... just give him the freedom he wants.
The author: by "he needs time", I don't mean that he wants us to part temporarily to rethink, or something. He wants time to walk, during which he can relax. Time needed to eradicate this "walking of fingers" past me, in fear that he would become too attached and fall in love fatally. I wouldn't call it a problem as much as a curiosity about whether it will work in the end. I think a girl would feel much more fulfilled if she knew that her feelings were 100% shared. As for his ex - he overcame it, and not just in words. It is obvious that the topic of her is unpleasant to him. Not because he still loves her, but because he felt betrayed, and that can't just go away. If he wanted us to break up because he was still suffering from it, he would tell me. He is a direct person. :) I will be happy for more opinions.