I am a young woman of 30 years old, with a small baby. My husband forbids me to have Facebook, but he allows me to have Instagram / it turned out that men can't write to me there and it's not like a dating site /, he forbids me to wear dresses in the summer because I would be funny with a dress . Some time ago he forbade me to wear sandals because only the villagers walked barefoot. My life is limited - I stay at home, look after the baby and communicate only with my mother. He started insulting me for talking to my mother too much and for some time he told me to break this umbilical cord and stop wanting to take the baby to her every week and see you. If I stop communicating with her, I am left completely alone. If I try to talk to him, he accuses and manipulates me, and finally when he sees that I'm about to freak out, he wants to take me to the mall, where he knows I like to go, but at other times he does not allow me to go there either. I'm confused, we created a home, if I'm left alone I don't know how I'm going to deal with a baby, so I stay with him, and he wasn't like that before. He was smiling, cheerful, kind, good. For a week now, I've even seen his new self - he told me "it's your fault" for the first time, because I had provoked him to insult me and get angry ... he constantly drinks 2 liters of beer and if he doesn't have alcohol he is a little nervous. He constantly speaks against people, but most of all against my parents, against my brother and his wife, he speaks against their child - it was dumb, ugly, they were dumb and he laughs at their actions. It turns me against my parents that they want me to look at them in the old days and manipulate me to stand around them. I don't know what's going on, I'm confused - what to do ... if I'm left alone I don't know how I'm going to deal with a baby, so I stay with him, and he wasn't like that before. He was smiling, cheerful, kind, good. For a week now, I've even seen his new self - he told me "it's your fault" for the first time, because I had provoked him to insult me and get angry ... he constantly drinks 2 liters of beer and if he doesn't have alcohol he is a little nervous. He constantly speaks against people, but most of all against my parents, against my brother and his wife, he speaks against their child - it was dumb, ugly, they were dumb and he laughs at their actions. It turns me against my parents that they want me to look at them in the old days and manipulate me to stand around them.
I don't know what's going on, I'm confused - what to do ... if I'm left alone I don't know how I'm going to deal with a baby, so I stay with him, and he wasn't like that before. He was smiling, cheerful, kind, good. For a week now, I've even seen his new self - he told me "it's your fault" for the first time, because I had provoked him to insult me and get angry ... he constantly drinks 2 liters of beer and if he doesn't have alcohol he is a little nervous. He constantly speaks against people, but most of all against my parents, against my brother and his wife, he speaks against their child - it was dumb, ugly, they were dumb and he laughs at their actions. It turns me against my parents that they want me to look at them in the old days and manipulate me to stand around them. I don't know what's going on, I'm confused - what to do ... that they want me to look at them in the old days and manipulate me to stand around them. I don't know what's going on, I'm confused - what to do ... that they want me to look at them in the old days and manipulate me to stand around them. I don't know what's going on, I'm confused - what to do ...
Answers 21
Run! It will start beating you too! As soon as I read that he controls you like that, separates you from everyone, even your mother, drinks and is aggressive ... darling, these are all symptoms of a bully. If he insults the child, his aggression will not stop only at you! It's better to raise this fatherless child with his mother, instead of remembering all his life how his father beat him up and beat his mother. Think of the child! Provide him with a safe environment and a healthy mother, you owe him as a mother! And no matter what happens, no matter how much he lies to you that he will change, even if he pretends to have changed, he won't do it, don't get tied up! A truth written as a story, I read it some time ago: “Today I received flowers - it was not my birthday or any other special day. We had our first confrontation last night and he told me a lot of cruel things that really hurt me… I know he was sorry, that he didn't want to say the things he said because he sent me flowers today. Today I have flowers. It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day. Last night, he hit my head against the wall and started choking me. It looked like a nightmare. I couldn't believe it was true. I woke up this morning, my whole body hurt. I know he must be sorry for sending me flowers today. Today I have flowers. And it wasn't Mother's Day or another special day. Last night, he beat me again, he was much more aggressive than other times. If I leave him, what will I do? How to take care of your children? What about financial problems? I'm afraid of him, but I'm afraid to leave. I know he must be sorry for sending me flowers today. Today I have flowers. Today was a very special day - it was the day of my funeral. Last night, he finally killed me. He beat me to death. If I had found the courage to leave him, I would not have received flowers today… ”Every time I read such a story and I cry, every time! Realize women! Run away from these men! This is not love! They do not change!
Tell him you didn't agree. You are a man, not a slave, Isaura. Manifest character. Maybe he wants you to wear sheets like muesli ?! A psychiatrist is your husband. At the playground, don't you communicate with other mothers, don't you have friends? Yours is under house arrest. You married a Turk, as they say.
This is not your loneliness, but voluntary slavery. If your husband limits your social contacts, and even the virtual ones, decides for you what clothes and shoes you can wear, etc., and you tolerate such abuse of yourself, then you are a kind of personal slave to him. The bans on dresses and sandals you mentioned seem more like a sick jealousy on his part - not to be attractive to other men. If you lived in Saudi Arabia, your post would not surprise me. But for our "standards" is pure slavery. At least you have realized what awaits you if you do not change something: you will look after the child, then your parents and finally him. If something happens to your husband years later, either to dump you for another, or to swallow, etc. you will feel that you have been a babysitter, a parent, a man all your life and that will be all you can say about yourself. Many women in our country tolerate their husbands only because they have nowhere to go, because of the child, etc. We do not have an adequate system for supporting women in such situations, such as women's homes in other countries, where a woman in your situation can move out, receive any help, incl. and legal and to be protected by her husband if he is aggressive. You write that if you are left alone with the child, you do not know how you will cope. One always has a choice in life - but in most cases one does not want to pay the price of the choice. Without knowing the details, I can't give you advice, only you know if you feel like going to someone in the village or to a friend, etc. From what you have written, I judge that you are not able to do it, because the price you will pay will be high. There is another aspect: like most women in a problematic situation with your husband, you also automatically derive from the fact that in a separation the child will stay with you. However, it is not yours personally, but for both of you. And that's where women's problems often come from - the woman wants to get away from the man, but she wants to keep the common child as if it were her own. I will not delve further, I will give you only one line of thinking: imagine that you tell your slave owner that you are moving out because you can no longer do so, but WITHOUT the child. It stays with him. I bet he'll be whining at your door in 48 hours to come back, promising you everything in the world. Your future is in your hands, the question is whether you can handle the consequences. As for the slave owner - he is unlikely to change. Success! Dirty Daddy And that's where women's problems often come from - the woman wants to get away from the man, but she wants to keep the common child as if it were her own. I will not delve further, I will give you only one line of thinking: imagine that you tell your slave owner that you are moving out because you can no longer do so, but WITHOUT the child. It stays with him. I bet he'll be whining at your door in 48 hours to come back, promising you everything in the world. Your future is in your hands, the question is whether you can handle the consequences. As for the slave owner - he is unlikely to change. Success! Dirty Daddy And that's where women's problems often come from - the woman wants to get away from the man, but she wants to keep the common child as if it were her own. I will not delve further, I will give you only one line of thinking: imagine that you tell your slave owner that you are moving out because you can no longer do so, but WITHOUT the child. It stays with him. I bet he'll be whining at your door in 48 hours to come back, promising you everything in the world. Your future is in your hands, the question is whether you can handle the consequences. As for the slave owner - he is unlikely to change. Success! Dirty Daddy that you are moving out because you can no longer do so, but WITHOUT the child. It stays with him. I bet he'll be whining at your door in 48 hours to come back, promising you everything in the world. Your future is in your hands, the question is whether you can handle the consequences. As for the slave owner - he is unlikely to change. Success! Dirty Daddy that you are moving out because you can no longer do so, but WITHOUT the child. It stays with him. I bet he'll be whining at your door in 48 hours to come back, promising you everything in the world. Your future is in your hands, the question is whether you can handle the consequences. As for the slave owner - he is unlikely to change. Success! Dirty Daddy
Drop that ped * l! Life is in front of you, it is not worth being a slave to some mold!
I'm so sorry to hear your story. Unfortunately, what I will tell you, you will not like. My mother was in exactly the same situation 17 years ago. You have two options for dealing with the problem - either you have the courage to do the "impossible", that is, to leave it or you stay with it until the end and endure it all your life (and accordingly your child suffers it too). It's clear which is the better option, but I'm fully aware of how scary it looks. My mother stayed with him because it was too scary for her. You decide what you are ready to do, but know that once you have shown your true nature, he will not change again.
This is an absolute abuser and you will not even feel how you will lose yourself if you stay with him. Aren't you a slave who has to obey? You will be much better off alone!
How to do what? Well, save yourself. This is not life. Although from my point of view it is easy to say. For you, things are probably not so simple, especially since you have a baby. From another point of view, the situation with all Pomaks is the same as with you, and they are obviously somehow used to all this. Now seriously - if you think you have any chance to cope alone (I guess with the help of your mother) with the baby and you do not depend 100% on this person then you have a choice. The other thing I think you need to think about is what kind of man you are and most importantly what kind of woman you are. I don't know exactly how to explain it, but you have to judge very well what qualities you have, how attractive you are, what you can offer, etc. to men, because being alone forever is not an option, and since break away from your husband you need to be able to find another, which must be more decent. Once you have a child, this will be much more difficult, but in my opinion, if you are a valuable woman, this will not be a problem.
Run while you can. He will never change. And if you are a masochist, stay.
Oh darling, take matters into your own hands and start thinking of a strategy on how to get rid of it. Yes, I know it's hard with a baby, but it won't be easier, on the contrary. This is a man who makes his complexes on you. Get away from him while it's time.
When I hear a woman say MOM and I run away. They must be manipulating. Have you ever thought that he might be right? Many parents want their children to be glued to them all their lives and start - manipulations of how they looked at you, how you owe them, how you neglect them ... I just imagined you as a dumb woman who begs everything to mom every day and asks for the opinion her and her permission for everything. Realize that you are a mother and a wife and start behaving as such and you can save your marriage. And don't let yourself sit at home - one year of motherhood and then immediately at work.
If I'm in your shoes and says something about my brother and my parents will regret it for the rest of my life, I'll do it for nothing.
What to do? Run! Grab your child and run to yours, filing for divorce the next working day. How do you put up with this one giving you a slope of ...? This is a psychopath for me and it will soon appear, don't take any chances but get rid of it in time!
Leave him! It may be difficult for her at first, but in time you will recover.
Just one word - I sympathize with you very, very much! It's not even for advice ... One thing is for sure - the restrictions have exceeded all limits, and it degrades as soon as it is addicted to alcohol (2 liters of beer is equal to one bottle of wine). Poor thing. Things don't look good at all. I will pray for you. Agape.
My humble advice is - get rid of it as soon as possible - faster. To him, you are not a woman, a wife - you are a slave. It couldn't be that, it couldn't be that. We do not live in the past - we live in the 21st century. You can do whatever you want, dress as you like and see whoever you want! If he tries to stop you in any way or to touch you: the solution is one - you leave him.
If it wasn't for the alcohol problem, I would advise you to be patient, but now I advise you to listen to the above comments.
He is a rapist. He is currently trying to isolate you from all other people who may be supporting you and crushing you mentally. There will soon be physical violence. Tell your brother that you wrote on this site and that they wrote to you that you are suffering some kind of domestic violence and that you will need his support. Be careful, most likely you are watching the internet and the phone. Tree the historian, if he finds out and starts with physical aggression, immediately contact the woman's protection - 02/981 76 86. He is very likely to tell you that he will commit suicide when you leave, this is a bluff, you have to get away from this man as a start. Go to your brother for a while with the baby. Comment N1 is correct.
Watch this video and answer the question whether what you are subjected to is domestic violence: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZSvkzQTEkI
Leave him. How did you connect your life with this man and give birth to a child? Give him one last chance - have a serious conversation with him and warn him that you are leaving him if he does not stop insulting and making fun of your relatives. Tell him that you are great people and just as you do not tell him how to dress, so he cannot forbid you what clothes, etc. to wear. It can't limit you from seeing your parents, your brother, your friends. Tell him you want to reduce alcohol. Give him time to change, and if he doesn't, you dump him. You are not alone - you have your other family that you grew up with and it is no less important than your husband!
I have a question for you, author. Then why did you give birth to him?
That's how you like being so superficial. You got married just to be married and not be left alone. This is what happens to women who get involved with someone just to be alone and to have children, because they are afraid of what society will say about them. And now you're complaining here - to think when you got married.