Hello, dear readers of this expensive site. I need your objective opinion or rather that of the male part of the site. I will try to be as short and objective as possible. So ... I'm a 21-year-old girl. Good looking, let's say I don't lack male attention. I study, I work, I try not to be financially dependent on my parents very much. I buy clothes and other things entirely on my own. I'm not one of those girls who waits for someone to support them, I can't even stand someone supporting me. However, in the relationship I have had for almost 5 months, nothing satisfies me and I wonder where I am wrong. He is 22 years old. He doesn't study, he doesn't work, as if he has no ambitions. I give him gifts, compliments, that he is nice, that he is good, kind to make him feel comfortable. I ask him every day how his day went, I ask him about the things he did, how he is, how his family is, I tease him, I try to always be in a good mood when we see each other, write, hear. In sex, which he did not ask for, he did not receive. We tried absolutely everything. Because of him, I became liberated in bed, perverted, slutty. I'm texting him dirty, I want to have more and more sex on my own. In general, I'm the type of woman who wants to be a female dude and the men next to them to be cool. I try to be nice to his friends. When we both go out, I pay because he has no money. I even buy condoms. I listen to him, he has never seen me cry or in a bad mood before. I never raised his voice, I never did fairs for him. We always see each other when he wants. The truth is, I never refused him. And unlike many other women, I've always been in his position. I am not one of the proud women, the vain ones, I am extremely down to earth, I am not ashamed that as at one moment I am well dressed, so at another moment I clean the garden and carry wood. I became a boy in a woman's body just to see the dude in my eyes. When he asks me for money, I will give it to him, when he wants sex, I will give it to him. He knows I won't cheat on him, I'm loyal to him. I support him. I have no problem going out with my friends, I don't even ask him where they go. I swallowed that I had never received a gift before, even for my birthday. Today I wanted to see you, he said he could, but we didn't go out, he went out with his friend. I told him something was wrong with me, he didn't even ask what was wrong with me. And I wondered why he was behaving like that, why he wasn't obsessed with me, why he didn't want us to spend more time, why he didn't love me as much as I did him, why doesn't he love me as others love their girlfriends and show it What does he lack when I give him everything to the max and try to be satisfied? Where am I wrong that my relationship is like that? Otherwise he is attached to me, we would have parted three times, but he always looks for me in all sorts of ways and says that he can't do without me, he tells me that he had feelings, but he is tougher and can't show them. That I don't need to know everything and that he doesn't like to share, he doesn't like to hold hands. I haven't slept and I don't like romance either, but when I see the other couples and the way they behave, something inside me trembles. Although he has nothing, I am by his side and I help and support him. Then why doesn't he want to spend more time with me, which repulses him? that my relationship is like that? Otherwise he is attached to me, we would have parted three times, but he always looks for me in all sorts of ways and says that he can't do without me, he tells me that he had feelings, but he is tougher and can't show them. That I don't need to know everything and that he doesn't like to share, he doesn't like to hold hands. And I haven't slept and I don't like romance, but when I see the other couples and the way they behave, something inside me trembles. Although he has nothing, I am by his side and I help and support him. Then why doesn't he want to spend more time with me, which repulses him? that my relationship is like that? Otherwise he is attached to me, we would have parted three times, but he always looks for me in all sorts of ways and says that he can't do without me, he tells me that he had feelings, but he is tougher and can't show them. That I don't need to know everything and that he doesn't like to share, he doesn't like to hold hands. I haven't slept and I don't like romance either, but when I see the other couples and the way they behave, something inside me trembles. Although he has nothing, I am by his side and I help and support him. Then why doesn't he want to spend more time with me, which repulses him? I haven't slept and I don't like romance either, but when I see the other couples and the way they behave, something inside me trembles. Although he has nothing, I am by his side and I help and support him. Then why doesn't he want to spend more time with me, which repulses him? I haven't slept and I don't like romance either, but when I see the other couples and the way they behave, something inside me trembles. Although he has nothing, I am by his side and I help and support him. Then why doesn't he want to spend more time with me, which repulses him?
Answers 27
What repulses him is that when you eat ice cream every day, you like the collo and at one point you like it and you can even stop eating ice cream for a long time after such an oversaturation. And men are hunters, they don't like you pushing ice cream in their mouths all the time. In order to want you, there must be a hunger for you. What did you expect from him?
What connection is this? One only gives and the other only receives. You are more like a slave or an obedient puppy than a friend ... Do you exist only for him? Don't you have an opinion or is the only goal in your life to look better in the eyes of men, to be the perfect woman? Well, there is no such thing. If you are not yourself, but just looking to fulfill the points read by meaningless articles, you will continue to meet only the wrong people. We think we know what we want and that it would be wonderful to always do things the way we want them to, but the reality is different. If you constantly get everything ready, it quickly gets tired and becomes a routine, something expected and neutral.
You give him everything, that's why he treats you indifferently. Just because you're his boyfriend doesn't mean you agree with everything. Especially me, I do not like and do not like the girl next to me, not to have his own opinion. In a relationship, there must be disputes, compromises, emotionality on both sides. You are so easy and indifferent to yours that he doesn't even want to see you. When you see that he is not committed to your relationship, cool down a bit, show him that you need a man.
So you are a dream woman and I even envy your boyfriend :)) Apparently not you, but he is wrong somewhere! Stop giving him everything - let them "work" to get something.
Your problem is that you don't love him but you PITY him! I have learned from experience that if you are sorry, someone will get on your head. Get rid of it, use it, such people are just leeches and someone owes them, I knew such people, and no matter how hard you try, just get rid of the parasite!
Let me give you a female opinion, and let the men say if they agree. In this relationship, you are the man, and he is the woman, and obviously both of you are not happy about that. And I would even say that even if your sexes were physically exchanged, things would still not happen, as evidenced by the many stories of men who also constantly pamper their girlfriends and please them, and wonder why they are not happy. We are great people and we expect to be treated as such, not dondurkat as babies. And beyond that we are men or women and it is not bad to be a baked woman or a man who behaves with respect, but if you totally take away the functions of the opposite sex, put somehow superfluous for each other and there is no way to fill the gaps.
Hi, It seems to me that: 1. He was just spoiled and always got everything ready. For him, indulging all whims is a routine, he is used to it and does not appreciate it. He doesn't care about developing, he doesn't care about feeling comfortable. He says "I want sex", he gets it, he says "I want money", he gets it. Why bother with anything? 2. There is a small chance that there is something in your relationship that you do not notice, but he sees but does not share. And it's not hard. There is nothing solid in this drone. He just doesn't care and has put your relationship downstream. At 21, well maintained, only 5 months after the beginning of the relationship, does not grumble ... it should carry you like a sprayer through a vineyard and not let you catch your breath from sex. You are aware of your feelings, consider whether it makes sense to make an effort in a relationship that, at least from the outside, seems doomed. Male, 32
Hello, you are a given for him, through which it is perfect for him to be a parasite. I say parasite again ... Think for yourself, it's not normal ... you man - he a woman?!? Don't do that ... Man, it's barking * but it's raining without taking offense :) greetings
You are a great fool! I don't know why you're acting like this man's mother? You kill some complexes by showing him that you can take away his whole role. For him, of course, he uses you, but what brings you joy in this relationship is a mystery to me. To tell you the truth, if I come across such a unique specimen as you, I will use you to the hilt. :-)
Welcome to the world of adults. The more you give, the more uninteresting you become. Unfortunately, you have to learn it the hard way. The other problem is that the boy must be complex with you. Over time, the differences between you will deepen and you will want to separate yourself. However, it seems to me that you are missing something from the whole story. I don't know, do you have any complexes that you clung to him like a straw drowning man ...
Hello. How I see it from the sides. You try too hard. You want him so much to like you and to be perfect that it becomes clear that you are afraid if he doesn't like you as much as he really does. Another big mistake is that you want to be a "dude" in front of him. Are you a woman? or dude? Dude is a man's thing ... especially when he has no money and you pay for everything ... I think he feels like the woman is not you. Your mission as a woman is to develop your femininity. And this does not mean to become what you are not just to be liked, because believe me, no matter how hard you try, the person on the other side feels that you are doing it out of fear. You just repel it that way. He doesn't feel like a man, and you don't feel like a woman. Since I also have experience in this field and the thing I have learned in a few years (since I began to realize) is, that first the most important thing is HOW you feel. You should not be your friend or anyone in the first place. In order to attract him as your wife, you must develop in yourself love for yourself again. To develop your authenticity, and not to strive to enter into some framework invented by your fear. "If I'm not what you are, he won't like me" ... on the contrary ... when you stop being addicted and you don't want him to like you one hundred percent ... then he starts to like you. A few tips: -Ask yourself more often what you want and take care of your inner world -Repeat several times a day when you see a man even a stranger on the street: "you are a man I am a woman" distinguish the two sexes seem to merge. .. -Forget about being perfect and allow yourself not to be like that. -Don't care so much about him. You are the woman and he has to take care of you. Stop with the presents to him. -Show yourself vulnerable! VERY IMPORTANT! Men want to feel like men. How to feel strong when you do not show weakness. Show that you are a woman, that you are vulnerable and tender. Let him feel that he is a man. Don't take this role from him in your relationship. -Learn to love and respect each other. It is clear from your writing that you do not respect yourself and you have a lot of complexes and you mask them with "perfect behavior". No matter how much you mask it, believe me, everything is felt. This is from me, I hope I have given you bread for reflection. I will be glad if you realize at least a little of what I wrote. Good luck F 26 Let him feel that he is a man. Don't take this role from him in your relationship. -Learn to love and respect each other. It is clear from your writing that you do not respect yourself and you have a lot of complexes and you mask them with "perfect behavior". No matter how much you mask it, believe me, everything is felt. This is from me, I hope I have given you bread for reflection. I will be glad if you realize at least a little of what I wrote. Good luck F 26 Let him feel that he is a man. Don't take this role from him in your relationship. -Learn to love and respect each other. It is obvious from your writing that you do not respect yourself and you have a lot of complexes and you mask them with "perfect behavior". No matter how much you mask it, believe me, everything is felt. This is from me, I hope I have given you bread for reflection. I will be glad if you realize at least a little of what I wrote. Good luck F 26
I don't know what's wrong with the boy, but I'm killing for a girl like you. It is desirable to assess what he has next to him, because otherwise he may lose it, and then he will probably realize, but whether it will not be too late. It is obvious that you are a smart and literate girl and since you have such an attitude towards the person next to you, these qualities make you a great girl, I hope he understands it too.
You are terribly annoying and impudent to me. The boy is behaving perfectly adequately with you. You can obsess over your brother like that, but not your boyfriend. As far as I understand, he's getting ready to blow under your tail. You know how to accept it ...)
Ehh, let's just say I had a girlfriend like you ... Th, th ... You give him everything, and that's not good. Men love the hard! ;)
Number 6: For the first time I hear an adequate female comment. Well done. To the author: Don't listen to these stupid girls who give advice to pull yourself together and that you get bored if you don't pretend to be a duck. This is complete nonsense of complexes who have no occupation and intrigue from lack of intellect. But read number 6 again.
Well, there's nothing wrong with you, except that you're playing the mother of a spoiled child, and then you wonder why he's a grown-up idiot.
You're not mistaken, darling, you just came across a failed son's mother. Why do you like him so much? Find a man who will appreciate you and give you the same and more. Good luck
Don't you have low self-esteem? Are you afraid of losing it? Do you feel how much effort you put into this relationship without receiving? He knows he can't lose you. You don't have to impress him, you don't have to try to do anything. Stop giving. Ask him for something. It may be something less expensive if there is no income. Tell him, today I don't have time to go to the name of a store, a friend showed me some earrings, a blouse .. whatever, I liked them very much, I'm so sad that I can't go .. there were only a few left .. see if he will offer to come and take them for you. If he doesn't offer, just ask him - Darling, please, will you buy it for me? Until you do something like that, he won't decide that you need it too. 2nd error. You give me the things you might have wanted in a relationship. He may not even be interested in that you give him presents or buy him food ... or whatever. See what's important to him and don't do things he hasn't asked you to do. Then you can always get the answer "But I didn't drive / beg you, etc. 3rd. Find a way to tell him, he will have to start work. If it doesn't happen otherwise, take the leave and tell him that they are fired, and that you have no income, and that you are afraid that you will not be able to pay the bills, then when you start working again after the holidays, you will tell him ... well, he called my boss and apologized, he needed me. .. 4th Go on a trip WITH FRIENDS Without him Let him see that you have other things besides him Maybe it is for a night in a nearby town Make him think about what is happening Be at least a little mysterious. See what's important to him and don't do things he hasn't asked you to do. Then you can always get the answer "But I didn't drive / beg you, etc. 3rd. Find a way to tell him, he will have to start work. If it doesn't happen otherwise, take the leave and tell him that they are fired, and that you have no income, and that you are afraid that you will not be able to pay the bills, then when you start working again after the holidays you will tell him ... well, he called my boss and apologized, he needed me. .. 4th Go on a trip WITH FRIENDS Without him Let him see that you have other things besides him Maybe it is for a night in a nearby town Make him think about what is happening Be at least a little mysterious See what's important to him and don't do things he hasn't asked you to do. Then you can always get the answer "But I didn't drive / beg you, etc. 3rd. Find a way to tell him, he will have to start work. If it doesn't happen otherwise, take the leave and tell him that they are fired, and that you have no income, and that you are afraid that you will not be able to pay the bills, then when you start working again after the holidays, you will tell him ... well, he called my boss and apologized, he needed me. .. 4th Go on a trip WITH FRIENDS Without him Let him see that you have other things besides him Maybe it is for a night in a nearby town Make him think about what is happening Be at least a little mysterious If there is no other way, take the leave and tell him that you have been fired and that you have no income. And that you are afraid that you will not be able to pay the bills. Then when you start working again after the holidays you will tell him ... well he called my boss and apologized to me, he needed me ... 4th. Go on a trip WITH FRIENDS. Without him. Let him see that you have other things besides him. It could be for one night in a nearby town. Make him think about what's going on. Be at least a little mysterious. If there is no other way, take leave and tell him that you have been fired and that you have no income. And that you are afraid that you will not be able to pay the bills. Then when you start working again after the holidays you will tell him ... well he called my boss and apologized to me, he needed me ... 4th. Go on a trip WITH FRIENDS. Without him. Let him see that you have other things besides him. It could be for one night in a nearby town. Make him think about what's going on. Be at least a little mysterious. It could be for one night in a nearby town. Make him think about what's going on. Be at least a little mysterious. It could be for one night in a nearby town. Make him think about what's going on. Be at least a little mysterious.
With this you have three options: either you continue your relationship in the same spirit, or you abandon it, or you start giving what he gives you, and you observe the result. The decision is up to you. Black Sabbath
And why are you doing all this? Here you have been rightly told that you are behaving like a man in your relationship. Which forces him to behave like a woman. This bothers him. He feels the unnaturalness of your relationship. And that scares and repulses him. Stop doing everything for him, paying his bills and giving him presents. Stop asking him how his day went. Stop looking for him every day. Wait for him to look for you and do not agree to see you immediately. Behave like a woman. Have confidence and respect yourself. The comments above have just told you that you are afraid of rejection and probably have inferiority complexes. Think about it and work on your self-esteem. Love and respect yourself in the first place.
Let's be honest - after reading everything you wrote, didn't it become clear to you where you were wrong? It's ridiculous, it even sounds unnatural, I imagine live what a picture you are. A lot can be written on the topic, but in my opinion it all comes down to one thing - stop living for the sake of others (in this case it is him, tomorrow will be someone else). Live for yourself! And by that I don't mean to become lonely and think only of yourself, but, for God's sake, you have to value yourself a little more, instead of trying so hard to please someone. Even if you love someone, even if you are in love, this is not a reason to humiliate yourself, because for me it is pure humiliation. At least you don't help anyone at all - they wrote above that he has become a parasite and they are right, you are also unhappy. Love is love, but you can't live with it alone.
I wish you to overcome the difficulties you are currently facing.
Man, what he did to himself and God cannot do to him!
'He is 22 years old. He doesn't study, he doesn't work, as if he has no ambitions' - why are you with this pampering at all? How are you not ashamed of him? How can you not even be ashamed that you know him at all? Otherwise, he is most likely depressed and will only get worse. Drop it and find a normal boy who is trained to work and can make a living on his own. And let his parents deal with this as best they can.
Your only mistake is that your behavior is artificial, you do not do it out of devotion to him and make him feel good, but you do it for selfish purposes. Maybe you're in the "I'm different" development phase. Everyone calmly goes through this phase, waiting for the recognition that we are the best and all sorts of such nonsense until we realize that we will not be appreciated and not everyone deserves to be rewarded for it. You will feel like an idiot when it's all over. Did he say "thank you" at least once and why do you continue this pelvic relationship when you don't even get satisfaction from this whole story.
From the Author-Thanks to everyone for the comments and the time taken from the heart. I read each one carefully and learned a lesson, I actually read the story a few times and thought about it. In fact, I seem to have exaggerated the story a bit, because most of you are left with the impression that I have always been a doll without an opinion. In fact, I often won my opinion, and that irritated him because I didn't keep quiet. I was silent, but I never told him things directly, I always wanted not to hurt him and I was tactful. I didn't feel sorry for him, I just wanted him to be happy out of love. When you love someone very much, you want them to be well and you put them first. We had our moments, he's not a bad person really, he's just not my person. Thats the difference. The good news is that my glass overflowed, I gained courage and since yesterday we are finally separated this time at my request - I removed it from everywhere, as well as his friends. I told him not to look for me // he supposedly agreed, but I know he will look for me, but I will be firm //. There is no chance for me to return to him, I am categorical.
When I was a student, I had a boyfriend. Reminds me of yours. I worked, he sat in them. He made me small presents for the holidays, he didn't forget me, but we only sat in them because he didn't have money. I told him "darling, get to work", and he explained to me that he couldn't do his studies and work. I told him at least about the summer, and he didn't want to, he was lazy. We were together for 2 years and finally I told him that I had decided to go on a brigade. I asked him if he would come with me, he said he had no money. I didn't have that much either, I took out a loan and then repaid them, but he didn't take any chances. Then I said goodbye to him. He begs me not to leave. I told him I was leaving with him or without him. That was the end. It was very difficult for him at first, but somehow after I dumped him he realized and changed. I know from friends that he has suffered for me for several months. Then it passed. But since then he has found a job in the summer and has not stopped working (two years have passed). He now supports himself and is a different person. I see him sometimes, he still wants to be with me, but my feelings are gone. I think I know what you're talking about. It's not pleasant at all. You have two options. The first is to wait patiently for him to grow up, at the risk of all feelings passing. The second is to end this agony and live your youth. F24 The second is to end this agony and live your youth. F24 The second is to end this agony and live your youth. F24