Hello anonymous people! I decided to tell myself what bothers me here on this anonymous site, but something came out. I have been living in Germany for 8 years. I left after high school to study here and stayed. Things are going well, I can't complain about money, but my social life is very bad. Germans are different types of people, and in general I am such that my communication with women is a bit awkward when I have a certain interest. Also, the Bulgarian women in Germany, whom I meet at Bulgarian parties, are 80% chalga muffins, and I do not enjoy such a breed. From time to time I meet people who enjoy me, but it becomes less and less ... a person coming out of university and changing his social environment .... So to go to the story that torments me ... Every Christmas I'm returning to Bulgaria and the last return, exactly on the last night I "got quite close" with a friend. We've seen each other a few times before, I'm always happy, but that night we kissed quite passionately. I had to leave early the next morning, and when we parted I decided to leave things without a sequel, because it is Bulgaria, I am somewhere abroad. Now, a month later, this feeling can't stop bothering me if I missed something. I didn't take her phone, just Facebook. I wrote a few days later that if I was in Bulgaria I would like to see you ... From the answers I was left with the impression that she also sees him as caught in the moment thing, and (quote: "life and health April may see you "). However, a friend said that he had never seen her kiss spontaneously with someone in a bar. And now the following thoughts bother me: 1. Can something come out of such a relationship, if I go home for example one weekend a month? Has anyone been in such a situation? 2. Considering that such a situation happens to me for the second time (the previous chick, in my opinion, was also denied the fact that I am in Germany), would you return to Bulgaria permanently? Would you put the transport of the social environment in front of financial well-being? (Considering that I am in the IT field, I will not stay on the street in Bulgaria either) 3. Is it worth raising the issue that I tend to go home more often because of it, even though it will cost me a lot of money? In general, I never learned to understand women, and the fact that even before we have a relationship I do such things can scare her if she does not feel that way. The other option is to wait until I get home in April, but until then I'm afraid that everything between us will be gone (on her part, I think I will still want to continue that kiss). They this is ... I will be happy to hear fresh opinions and comments, because I'm stuck.
Answers 14
I don't think you've missed anything yet, but try to keep going. Go home suddenly, go out somewhere, talk. And if you find that she feels the same way about you, act. After a while, you can offer her to come with you, in German, or you can return to Bulgaria, but this should happen after you spend some time together.
What happened to you is great. Allow time to show if something will come out of this relationship, do not overdo it. She said that you have a face when you write there, ask her about Skype and if she gives it to you you can write there. Well, this way you can get to know each other better in April as you go to see each other :) And regarding the return to Bulgaria, I am firm - NO. The woman who will be next to you and who truly loves you would come with you to the end of the world - :))))
In chronological order: 1. If you come home once a month, nothing will come out of such a relationship. There is a saying - "away from the eyes, away from the heart". It can only happen when you come to bed 1-2 times and that's it. You will find another, she another. 2. Yes, I would return to Bulgaria, but you still have to assess the risks, because there are always such. One is one night stand, another is a long knot. What if you have a dissimilarity in characters? But I would definitely take a chance. 3. It is not worth raising such a question. Women are on the principle "either just mine or not for me". Go back to point 1. It is equivalent. I write everything to you from experience. I did the same thing 10 years ago, for which I do not regret a gram and I will never regret. Good luck!!!
Eh, you, the ITs :) We have liked each other for a long time with one of your colleagues in the field of destiny (as I later found out). He used to ask me similar questions according to the same scheme and plan how to arrange his life around me for a second kiss. For me it was mega weird, not to mention I thought it was a little haho. But apparently he was quite nice to me and now a few months later things are going well. Abe, not in the smoothest way, but it's nice. And so my advice is a little more special. Ask yourself if and why you are inclined to rearrange your priorities in this way. Because you really like the chick and she has a thrill and attraction, or just because she looks cool, comfortable and curly? Because at times from this behavior of my friend I felt that he was doing it because it happened to me from time to time. That if another pretty girl had kissed him that night, it would be the same for her now. And we women like to think we are special. Try not to leave her with the impression that you are desperate and that you think that with a kiss you conquered her and are already planning an anniversary: D There must be a little game of cat and mouse - write her some messages how you wish you were on the same place in the same evening, etc. and so slowly :) Good luck!
I will tell you only one thing, do not regret the decisions made in your life, even if they were wrong, because we cannot see in the future whether it is wrong or not! Leave the past and move on!
So - I think your big problem you have to get rid of is: You're very desperate, dude, but a lot! Take matters into your own hands, husband, not some young lady!
Hello, unfortunately you have a big problem :( in order to see each other so rarely and want to have a stable relationship you need a solid foundation .. it's one thing to have been together for 2-3 years and then to leave, it's another not to know her and you are already separated by thousands of kilometers .. consider the option to find a job in Bulgaria..a person with your qualifications and work experience should be realized with a decent salary here..here you will be able to be with the girl or just find a suitable one man in Germany, if you can't you should consider my first offer :) Good luck
Your relationship, if it comes at all, is doomed, or at least in the current circumstances there is no chance. Now, if it so happens that you return permanently to Bulgaria (whatever option you have given, then you are probably not far from such a thought), or if she is ready to take the risk of her life and follow you to Germany is another matter. . But this movie with the views 1-2 times a month for a weekend no woman wants to watch it. Even if you start a relationship in such conditions, very soon you will feel lonely, will tell you that you need company, warmth, a person next to you, etc. Very soon after that she will let you know that there is someone else in her life, so think carefully about whether you want to have a relationship with her at all, or you just catch this girl as a drowning man for a straw, just because you haven't found her in Germany nothing appropriate. I also live abroad, and believe me - I completely understand you. If you want to have a relationship with a Bulgarian woman, it is almost impossible to find something more decent, that's why you must have caught on to this girl. I'm not sure if if you find a woman like you in Germany, where you're already settled, you'll want to have a relationship with the other, so think very carefully about what you want, and only then take real action.
Dude, look at your professional career, and then ... and then a lot ...
Man, you have to be at least 26-27 years old, and you're thinking a little weird about that age. I understand that you do not have much experience and this justifies you to some extent. The biggest problem in this story, I think, is your fear of being rejected. You have to come to terms with the fact that sometimes it doesn't go exactly as you anticipate, you're not a teenager to get sick because someone doesn't like you. Absolutely anything is possible, but if you ask for it, the other person also asks for it. So first you have to find out who wants what. If you like the girl, she will hardly start rejecting you just because of the distance. But if you immediately tell her that you are ready to return to BG, you will burden her with responsibility to you and she may be startled. Let things just happen as they are written. Write another compliment, ask her if she liked the last night, write something like "you've been in my head since that night", "so I can fly to BG to kiss you like then". Why not post something romantic or just fun on the wall to show that you're not afraid of other people seeing your interest? However, do not be intrusive, but do not give up the first time. Wait, if it starts to reciprocate, you will make love, even at a distance, and then April will come. What do you have to think about from now on if you will move. If feelings arise between you, the solutions themselves will come at the right time and you will reach them both together. Why doesn't she come to you too? What is this material stability for you, if you have no one to take care of and with whom to make plans for the future? P.S. It's normal for a girl to be more reserved with you, after all, you waited a whole month until you realized that the kiss was in your head all the time. She must have already thought that you have no interest in her, because people don't wait 1 month for such things, so now prove the opposite.
Dude, if you're in the IT realm, you've probably heard of a Skype program where you can talk to your girlfriend. Take Skype and try to talk. It will soon become clear to you whether she also wants to "continue the kiss". By April you can already choose the rings :)
You better see what would come out of this job, find out if the girl is on the same wave as you, if she wants you at all and then think of options to come. In fact, you'd better pull her there, I guess you'll be better. There is no life in Bulgaria.
"Basically, I never learned to understand women, and the fact that even before we have a relationship, I do things like that can scare her if she doesn't feel that way." - You know the reason for the failure of women and you do nothing to correct your mistake. You have succeeded in the profession, but you are a loser in life. You have realized that money alone is not enough. I hope that many young Bulgarians understand this, who think that money is the most important thing that guarantees happiness. You've heard, the bird of fortune once landed on your shoulder, you chased it yourself. Why did you act so foolishly, the passionate kiss shows desire, the girl said YES to you, and you didn't even ask for her phone number, very stupid. You missed the tame, now go chase the wild. Once it's close to your heart, look for a quick way to see each other, because eyes that can't be seen are forgotten.
Dude, don't make any plans from now on, just try to get to know the girl. If you don't do at least that, you'll never know if you missed something or not. She may be great, she may not be good for anything, but you can't know from a few kisses. Talk to each other via Skype, Facebook or whatever you think is good and get to know each other. Go home when you are free in Bulgaria and spend some time together. If you like it, why not come back here or have her come to you. I did not live in Germany, but during the time I was there I got an idea of what their social life is, for me it is a complete tragedy. If you have a family and you are together, it's OK, but living alone there is a feat. By the way, the situation is similar in almost all of Western Europe. By the way, I am in the same situation as you, only that I live in Bulgaria. Yes, I make a lot of good money, but I have almost no time for social contacts. Lately I've been wondering why all this is and whether it's worth it at all. The answer is no! I don't think I will stay in this job for long, I prefer to work for less money, but to be able to rest and have time for myself.